


Blind Spots

by Wolfie_Dragon



Series: Blindcup Universe [2]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Blindness, Disability, F/M, Fluff, Growing Up, Hiccstrid - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Mild References to adult activities, Nagging parents, One-Shots, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, burn scars, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 107,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9441866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfie_Dragon/pseuds/Wolfie_Dragon
Summary: The war has ended, but the struggles are not yet over. Now Hiccup and Astrid must look to the future and find rays of light in a life filled with darkness, as they discover that not all wounds are physical, and some traumas take a lifetime to heal. Sequel to Black as Night. A series of one-shots set in my Blindcup universe, featuring a blind Hiccup. Will contain lovely Hiccstrid fluff, angst, comfort, Stoick-Hiccup bonding, Toothless-Hiccup friendship, more background for OCs, and more!





	1. Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome to _Blind Spots_ , my collection of one-shots set in my _Blindcup_ universe. I'd advise for you to read _Black as Night_ before reading this, as these stories will contain unmarked spoilers and references to that story. I suppose you can read these stories as simple fluff without having read _Black as Night_ but simply put: when you read this, I'm assuming you read _Black as Night_ , and there might be (small) plot elements or references you might not get if you haven't read it.
> 
> In case you haven't read or heard of _Black as Night_ , it is a retelling of the original movie, where Hiccup is permanently blinded early on in dragon training. So in these stories, Hiccup will be completely and totally blind. There will not be a cure. These snippets are about Hiccup and Astrid (and others) living a life where Hiccup is blind, and how they deal with that. If you have an idea for a Blind Spot, please leave a comment or send me a message! I welcome all ideas and inputs.
> 
> Summary for the first chapter: Three months have passed since Hiccup woke up a hero. Physically, he has healed, but he finds that losing one's sight means more than just getting lost or bumping into things. It also means forgetting what the world looked like. But thankfully, Astrid has a great birthday gift for him to cheer him up.

Hiccup was asking himself a lot of questions. How did he end up here? Why did everyone have to be there? Why couldn't he just leave? Why was he, the blind boy, the only one that could see how embarrassing this was?

Of course, he also knew the answers to those questions. It was his sixteenth birthday, and he was now officially an adult. And since it was such a big occasion, Stoick had decided to invite the entire village to the Great Hall to celebrate. Not that he had asked Hiccup, oh no. He'd just said "The coming of age of my son deserves a great feast," even though Hiccup didn't want a great feast. While his father listened more to him these days, this time he had just laughed away Hiccup's concerns and told him "It will be great, you'll see."

Hiccup had to bite his lip to prevent himself from making the obvious sarcastic retort.

So here he was, balancing precariously on a table in the Great Hall, surrounded by the entire village, trying to keep smiling through his father's speech.

"Well, it's great to see so many of you people here! There weren't this many of you last year, haha!" Stoick started, and Hiccup already hated this speech. Why did his dad have to remind him and everyone else of how things used to be? He tried to forget those days. Those days when no one would come to his birthday party. Hel, his father wouldn't even throw a party. Hiccup had been lucky if he got a "Happy birthday" from someone other than Gobber.

"I'm surprised myself. If someone had told me a few months ago that Hiccup would go from being… well, Hiccup," Stoick continued, and Hiccup was having more and more trouble to keep smiling.

"…to defeating the biggest dragon any of us have ever seen, I would have shipped him off for fear he'd gone mad! And you know it!" Hiccup definitely knew it. He knew his father didn't mean to hurt him, but Hiccup couldn't deny that he didn't like listening to this at all. He wasn't sure what was worse: His father's words, or the cheers of the Vikings.

"I mean, all those years of being the worst Viking Berk had ever seen..." _Thanks dad_ , Hiccup thought while doing his best not to stop smiling.

"Odin, it was rough, I almost gave up on you, especially after well, you know… the incident in dragon training," Stoick said, and Hiccup couldn't stop his smile from disappearing. That hurt. That hurt a lot.

"...but all the while you were holding out on me!" Oh, so being blinded was all he needed to stop 'holding out'? Hiccup tried his best not to show the hurt, but it was getting harder and harder.

"But here we are. My boy has singlehandedly defeated the Red Death, and brought peace between dragons and Vikings to the island of Berk. And no one is more surprised, or more proud, than I am," Stoick said, and Hiccup wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a compliment.

"And today, my boy becomes a man! Today, my boy becomes a Viking! Today, he becomes one of us!" Stoick finished to great applause, and Hiccup frowned. It was odd how for years he had only wanted to become a Viking, but now that he was one, he wasn't sure if he liked it. He'd much rather be flying on Toothless or go to the cove with Astrid.

But that was not an option right now, so he just hoped the speech would be over soon.

"Now, son. Let me be the first to present a gift to you. Since you… uhm… can't see bad things coming, I thought this might help you. To protect you, I mean," Stoick said, and Hiccup reached out his hands until he found a metal object. It took a few seconds of examining before he realized it was a helmet. That was a pretty cool gift. At least his dad tried to be thoughtful, Hiccup supposed.

"Your mother would have wanted you to have it. It's half of her breastplate," Stoick said, and Hiccup nearly dropped the helmet when he realized what he was running his fingers over.

Hiccup heard a ticking sound, like somebody hit metal, and his father said "Matching set. Keeps her close, you know?"

Hiccup wasn't sure what the other part of the set was, and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to know. So he just smiled and thanked him, trying to ignore the jokes shouted by the Vikings.

He put the helmet on and climbed off the table very carefully, not wanting to slip and embarrass himself even further. But now that he was standing on the solid floor he wasn't sure what to do now. There were delicious smells of food, but Hiccup wasn't eager to eat in front of everyone. At home he knew what kind of food there was, and where it was exactly, so he wouldn't spill it, but here there probably was a large table filled with all kinds of food, just waiting for Hiccup to make a fool of himself by putting his hand in the soup bowl or pour sauce all over the mead or something.

So food was out. He knew there were barrels of mead around here, and he could certainly grab a mug and drink, but he didn't think that was a good idea. Climbing the stairs to the Great Hall was hard enough, especially in this icy weather, he would definitely fall if he tried to climb down drunk.

So drinking was also out. Socializing had never been his strong suite before the blindness, and now he just felt extremely awkward to walk to random people he couldn't even see and start a conversation.

So socializing was also out. He wished Astrid was with him, but she was somewhere else, probably talking to other people, and he had no way to know where. Even Toothless was Odin-knows-where, dragged away by the twins earlier with an ominous announcement that they wanted to see how much alcohol a dragon could handle. When Hiccup tried to protest and say they could try it on their own dragon, they had simply said that since the Zippleback had two heads and one stomach it wasn't a very good test subject. And then Toothless was gone, and Hiccup hadn't seen him since.

So he just sighed and walked to the far wall, leaning against it, hoping the party would be over soon so he could get some rest.

The gods were never that kind to him.

"Hey, cousin! Happy birthday! Sixteen, you're a man now! But are you really a man yet?" Snotlout slurred as he grabbed Hiccup's arm, and Hiccup smelled mead in the air. Great, Snotlout was already drunk. At least Snotlout was a happy drunk, instead of an angry drunk.

"What do you mean, Snotlout?" he asked, supposing even Snotlout was better company than nothing.

"I mean, *hic!*, that you're not really a man 'till you… 'till you did… you know… 'till you make a Zippleback!" Snotlout shouted, and Hiccup tried to draw his head back from the overwhelming stench of mead.

"Uh, what?" he asked, utterly lost as to what Snotlout was referring to. Did he mean train a Zippleback? He'd already done that for the twins.

"You know! When a guy and a girl do it, they make a beast with two heads, but attached at the you-know! *hic!* Like a Zippleback! With Astrid, you know!" Snotlout shouted, and Hiccup blushed bright red when he realized what his cousin was talking about.

"No! We haven't done anything like that. We… We should probably wait for marriage until we do that," he managed to say, wondering if Astrid would even want to… make a two-headed dragon with him.

"What?! But… she's like… so hot! Are you blind or something, man? Don't you see that? Look at that, man! *Hic!* Look at that. Her new hairstyle is so awesome, and that a-" Snotlout said before Hiccup decided to interrupt him. He wasn't sure whether to feel annoyed that Snotlout was calling his girlfriend hot, exasperated that Snotlout was apparently so drunk he didn't realize he was literally blind, or just nauseous from the stench.

But above all, he felt surprised at one part of Snotlout's drunken praise. Astrid had a new hairstyle? He hadn't known that.

"Thank you Snotlout, that's enough. I'll think about what you said, now go and get another drink or something," he said, feeling confused. Why hadn't Astrid told him if she changed her hair?

"Good idea, cuz! I could use another drink! And go get her! Ride that dragon!" Snotlout shouted, and finally the stench moved away. Hiccup hoped that he would finally get a little rest now.

"Snotlout's drunk again?" a voice he recognized as Fishlegs said, and he jumped when he realized Fishlegs was standing right next to him.

"Fish! How long were you standing there?" he asked, trying to calm down.

"Just 7 seconds. I didn't hear your conversation, though I doubt you had a meaningful one with the -6 modifier to Intelligence he has from drinking all that mead," Fishlegs said, and Hiccup snorted. It hadn't been a very meaningful conversation indeed. But his smile died when he remembered the thing Snotlout had mentioned.

"Fishlegs? Has Astrid changed her hair?" he asked, and the large boy was silent for a moment.

"She changed her hairstyle significantly 2 weeks and 5 days ago. Since you can't see it, I'll also mention that Astrid is wearing a new shirt. Its red color is so similar to the color of your blindfold I estimate that there is about a 94 percent chance she chose it to match. That suggests she's significantly interested in you," Fishlegs said, but Hiccup wasn't really listening to the last part.

Astrid's had looked different for weeks and he hadn't known. She had new clothes, and he hadn't even known. He should have complimented her when they walked here together earlier. But he just hadn't known.

He was a terrible boyfriend.

Fishlegs might have sensed his shock, because the boy moved away with a quick "Congratulations on your birthday!" leaving Hiccup to ponder. He hadn't even considered that Astrid might look different from how he remembered her. Maybe he should ask her how what she looked like now. But he wasn't sure how. It felt like such a stupid thing to ask. _Hey Astrid, what does your hair look like?_ It sounded ridiculous.

Before he could ponder it further he was torn from his thoughts by the very person he was thinking about.

"Hey Hiccup? You alright?" Astrid asked, but before he could answer she leaned in until he could smell her. She smelled much better than Snotlout.

"Between you and me, Stoick's speech was terrible. Those were pretty mean things to say," she whispered in his ear, and he smiled. At least Astrid was looking out for him.

If only he could do the same for her.

"Thanks, Astrid. At least he tried to help, and I did get a new helmet," he said as he tapped the new accessory he was wearing, unsure of how to bring up the subject of her hair.

"I suppose. What did you and Snotlout talk about?" Astrid asked, and his head whipped up as he blushed.

"Uhm… Zipplebacks," he said, desperately hoping Astrid wouldn't know about the beast with two heads either.

"Okay… You wanna get out of here?" she asked, and he wondered if he heard her correctly.

"Get out? But it's my birthday party! I can't leave!" he said, shaking his head. The last thing he needed was a lecture from his father about 'dodging responsibility'.

"Oh, come on, Hiccup. I can see you're not having fun. And you're supposed to have fun on your birthday, right? Besides, I doubt anyone would notice. Everyone's either drunk, or watching the twins' dragon drinking tournament," Astrid said as she grabbed his arm. It was tempting, but could he?

"But what about Toothless? Will he be okay?" he asked, unsure of this 'dragon drinking tournament'.

"He'll be fine. He's very eager to beat Hookfang, but at least the dragons can't seem to fire when drunk. Now let's go!" Astrid said as she started dragging him away, and he let himself be lead. He had done everything his father asked in the last few weeks, helping with the village and the new dragon academy. He deserved some time for himself on his own birthday, right?

Seconds later cold air greeted them and Hiccup knew they were outside. He felt dread as he thought about the stairs in front of him. He hated those stairs. In the three months since he lost his leg he had learned to walk across straight surfaces pretty well, but stairs were still hard. Especially stairs as steep, slippery and uneven as these.

He braced himself for a very slow descent, but before he could take the first step, Astrid's voice rang out again.

"We have to be quick if we don't want to be spotted. I could help you," Astrid said, and he considered it. Astrid could hold his arms and make sure he didn't fall.

"Okay, let's do that," he said, but Astrid didn't grab his arms. Instead she moved in front of him. There were a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Come on, Hiccup, get on. We don't have all day!" Astrid said, and he suddenly understood what she meant with 'help'.

"Seriously? You mean a piggyback ride?" he said, trying to keep whatever shred of manliness he had left.

"Yes, a piggyback ride. It's the quickest way to get down the stairs. Now get on!" she said, and he just shook his head, hoping no one would see this.

"Okay, fine," he said as he hesitantly felt in front of him to find Astrid's back. After some very awkward maneuvering, in which Hiccup desperately tried not to think about Zipplebacks as he touched her, he had his arms and legs around her, and she started walking down the steps.

"See! This ain't so bad," Astrid said in a cheerful tone, while Hiccup had to admit it was pretty nice to be this close to her.

"Alright, you win. This is nice. I'm not hurting you, am I?" he asked, worried about his metal leg poking her side.

"You can't hurt me, Hiccup," she said, and suddenly her steps changed. Apparently they had reached the bottom. But Astrid showed no signs of stopping or letting him get off.

"Where are we going?" he asked, unsure whether to be amused or embarrassed.

"It's a surprise. You'll see," she said in a playful tone, and he knew she was joking. So he just relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

Astrid's hair was right in front of him, and Hiccup suddenly felt the urge to run his fingers through it and find out what was different about it. But he didn't dare. He didn't want to make this any weirder than it needed to be.

Finally Astrid stopped, and Hiccup climbed off her back, his foot slipping when he landed. He heard Astrid laugh as she took his hand and pulled him back up, and he smiled when he felt the now familiar scars on her hands. He still felt bad that she had scars because of him, but it was nice to be able to recognize Astrid just by her hands.

His smile fell when he realized he knew her hands better than her face or hair. He didn't really know anything about what she looked like anymore. He barely remembered what she used to look like.

"What's wrong? Is your leg hurting again?" Astrid asked him as she lead him by the hand. Hiccup didn't know how to answer. _"I don't know what you look like anymore,"_ just sounded… wrong. Like he betrayed her.

"No, no, the leg is fine," he said, and Astrid was silent as she lead him to a nearby log and sat him down.

"It's… I feel like I'm a lousy boyfriend. I feel like I'm not seeing anything you do," he eventually said after a heavy silence. Astrid sighed before sitting down as well.

"Of course you don't! You're blind! But that doesn't mean you're a lousy boyfriend! If there's something I want you to know about, I'll tell you, okay? And everything else you can't see doesn't matter," she said heatedly, and he frowned. He didn't like being so… dependent on what she told him. He should be able to look out for her.

"I suppose it doesn't matter. But I… I want it to matter, Astrid! I want to… I want to be able to compliment you on your clothes, or make a bouquet of flowers for you without having to ask someone if the colors are right. I just want to… do those silly boyfriend things with you," he said as he scratched his hair. She sighed before lightly punching his arm.

"Well, I don't care about clothes or flowers! I'd much rather get a nice weapon or a new piece of armor than flowers or shirts. And you happen to be the best at making weapons and armor, even without your eyes! So don't you think you're not good enough or something. Because you're the best!" she said heatedly, and it made Hiccup feel a little better. But the fact that he hadn't known about her new hair still bothered him.

"Oh, I made you a gift! Well, Gobber helped me with it. Do you want it?" she suddenly asked in an eager tone, and he couldn't help but smile again.

"Of course," he said, and Astrid placed an odd object in his hands.

"Happy birthday!" she said, and he frowned as he ran his fingers over the present, trying to figure out what it was. His first thought was that it was a solid block of metal, but he found a series of rings piercing the block. When he examined the sides he found that the block was actually a stack of metal sheets, held together with the rings. Slowly, he moved the first sheet around the rings like one would open a book, and he realized what it was.

"It's a… sketchbook?" he asked as his jaw dropped.

"Yes! I noticed you used to carry a sketchbook with you. A paper one, of course. But… you can't use that anymore, you write and draw on copper now, so I figured you might like this. There's a little holster here where you can place your writing knife as well," Astrid said as she took his hand and moved it to the inside of the rings, where there was enough space to put his knife.

"Astrid… I don't know what to say! Thank you!" he managed to say, as he examined the metal book.

"Now you can draw whatever you want, wherever you want," she said, and he wanted to agree with her. But then a thought crossed his mind, and he said it out loud before he realized it.

"I wish I could draw you."

There was a short silence, and he wished more than ever he could see Astrid.

"Well… you can, right? You remember what I look like, don't you?" she hesitantly asked, and he shook his head.

"I do, sort of, but… but that isn't what you look like anymore. Snotlout said that you changed your hair, and Fishlegs said you're wearing new clothes, and I-I don't know what you look like now!" he said, hoping she would understand what he meant.

"Oh. But… why do you want to draw me? I mean, you can't see the drawing anyway, and… does it really matter?" she asked, and he shook his head again as he laid the metal book next to him.

"It's… I suppose it's not about drawing, really. It's… I have this image of you in my head. But it's from months ago, when I- When I could still see. From before. And now that image… isn't accurate anymore. And I… I wish I could update it," he slowly said, bowing his head.

"Oh, I see. But… does it really matter what color clothes I wear or what my hair looks like? I'm still me, right?" she asked as she put her arm around his shoulders.

"Yes, you're still you. But… I'm forgetting, Astrid. I'm starting to forget what people look like! Dad, Gobber, Toothless, I don't remember them anymore! They're just… they're just a voice to me now, some… stupid voice and a smell coming from the darkness, without shape or looks! And… I'm afraid that's going to happen to you too! I just… I realized I know your hand better than I can remember your face!" he said, and Astrid pulled him a little closer.

"Shh, it's okay. And you know what? I'm forgetting too. I can't remember what eye color you had. I can't remember what your face looked like… without the scars, and without the blindfold. As far as I'm concerned, your eyes are red, because your blindfold is red. And I can't feel you with my hands as well as I used to. But does that matter to you?" Astrid asked as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"Not really. But at least you have an image. When Snotlout told me you changed your hair, I realized… I realized that I don't even remember what your old hair looked like. I remember it was blond, and there was a braid, but… but I don't remember what it looked like exactly. The memories are fading, and I'm afraid that soon I won't remember the braid or the color, and then you'll be… gone. You'll be just a… ghost in my mind. I'm afraid you'll be invisible to me. I'm terrified of that," he finally admitted as he put his arm around her shoulders as well.

"Oh, Hiccup. Am I really invisible? I mean, there's still a voice, right? And… a touch, maybe?" she slowly asked in a soft voice, and he felt bad for making her feel bad.

"I'll always remember your voice. And I suppose your hands are very unique. I feel like I know your hands. They're not… invisible. But… isn't it bad that I know your hands better than your face?" he asked, untangling their arms and grabbing her hands, rubbing his fingers over the rough scars.

Astrid was silent for a while, before suddenly pulling her hands out of his grip, grabbing his hands instead.

"If you can get to know my hands through touch, why can't you know the rest of me? Your old memories are gone, but maybe you can get some new ones," she said as she raised his hands, and suddenly he felt soft skin under his fingers. It took a moment for him to realize she wanted him to feel her face, and then he did. Slowly he ran his fingers over her cheeks, then her jaw and smiling lips, trying to visualize the shape in his mind. Then he moved up, careful not to poke her eyes, and mapped her nose and forehead.

"You're beautiful," Hiccup said as he moved his hands to her hair, trying to figure out what Snotlout had meant. Finally the picture started forming, and he started smiling as he felt her soft hair. She had a small braid over her head between her ears that he didn't think she had before, and the rest of her hair was brushed to the side or tied in a large complicated braid behind her head.

"Snotlout was right. It's really nice," he said, more to himself than to her, and she shuddered beneath his hands.

"He said I looked nice?" Astrid asked angrily.

"Uhm, those weren't his exact words," he said, hoping she wouldn't ask about Zipplebacks.

"Ugh, I can imagine what he did say. At least he'll never know me like you do. He just looks at me. You can do everything else," she said, and he blushed, trying not to think about how close they were, his hands still in her hair.

"But I think you need more new memories, Hiccup," Astrid said as she leaned in.

"Just remember my voice," she whispered in his ear, and he tried to imprint this moment into his memory, unable to formulate a response.

"Remember my smell," she said as she pushed his nose into her neck, and he took deep breaths, forcing himself to inhale her smell. Then she pulled her head back a bit, before taking a deep breath herself as Hiccup tried to get his brain working again.

"And… remember my taste," she said with a light voice before lowering her lips to his, and Hiccup finally felt like he was starting to get a complete picture again. It was like a dark but solid shape in his black room, without colors, but with a beautiful voice, soft hair, a familiar smell, and an odd, yet nice taste. And as she pulled back again he smiled as he 'looked' at the woman in front of him, running his fingers over her cheeks again.

"So, do you still think I'm invisible? Do those new memories help?" she asked, and her voice sounded remarkably… unsure. But he just smiled. How did this girl always know how to help him?

"It's better than anything I had before. I could get used to it. But I think I need some new memories every now and then," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I don't want to forget this either. Happy birthday, Hiccup," Astrid said, before kissing him again.


	2. Stories and Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the war over, the Vikings of Berk had to find new hobbies to keep themselves busy. The most important of these: Dragon Racing! However, Hiccup is having trouble catching sheep without sight or throwing them in baskets.  
> Meanwhile, Astrid feels bothered by Hiccup's ugly scars, and her mother's advice doesn't seem very helpful.

Hiccup walked out of the assembly, feeling confused. He couldn't believe his father actually approved of dragon racing. It would be a weekly competition between the dragon riders, where they would have to catch sheep and bring them to their own baskets as quickly as they could, and gather more sheep than the others. All the dragon riders would participate.

Except for him.

It hadn't been stated as such. His father did say 'all the members of the dragon academy', but he couldn't mean Hiccup as well. Stoick had talked about how dangerous the sport would be, that there would be a high chance of collisions and that 'all the participants should keep their eyes open'.

Hiccup got the hint.

It hurt, and he stopped walking for a moment to lean on a nearby wall, sure that he would get lost if he tried to walk while his mind was occupied like this. Toothless crooned and nudged him, and Hiccup tried to smile. He scratched the dragon, trying to apologize without words that Toothless wouldn't participate either. They had both enjoyed the hunt for Sven's escaped sheep that had inspired dragon racing, but now they would be grounded. All because Hiccup hit his head trying to catch a sheep, not knowing that there was a wall just behind it.

It had been worth it. The joy of flying was so amazing, and it was only when he was in the air that Hiccup was able to forget the blindness and the stumbling for a while. He fell so often on the ground, tripping over objects or walking into doors, that even hitting his head while flying didn't diminish the freedom of flight.

But his dad was right. He would fail anyway. There was no way he could win with his condition. It just wouldn't be fair.

"Hey Hiccup! Excited for the first dragon race next week?" Astrid asked as she punched his arm, and Hiccup jumped, not expecting her. Although he didn't feel too good, she never failed to cheer him up. So he smiled and grabbed her hand, the familiar scars feeling nice under his fingers.

"I suppose. I'm sure you'll win, you'll do great!" he said, and Astrid laughed.

"Yeah right, like you won't win. You and Toothless are the best team!" she said, and he shook his head, confused.

"What? But we're not participating! Dad won't let me!" he exclaimed, and Astrid punched him again.

"Why would you think that? He was gesturing straight to you when he said that all riders would participate. Just ask him if you don't believe me!" Astrid said, and he felt really stupid. Was she right? Was he thinking too negatively again, like Astrid said sometimes?

"You think so?" he asked, his head bowed down.

"Of course! And if he won't let you, I'll walk over to your house and I'll convince him to let you play. Got that?" she said, and he chuckled, knowing she meant it.

"And in case you're wondering, if you don't win, I'll punch you. Got that? You can do it, even if you're blind, and I'm not going to let you think you can't!" she said, and he just nodded, squeezing her hand, trying to tell her without words how much her support meant to him.

Why was his throat suddenly feeling so thick?

"And hey, maybe we can prepare together? You don't have to… hide anything from me, Hiccup. You know that, right?" she asked, and he couldn't talk. So he just nodded before pulling her into an embrace.

"Thanks, Astrid," he managed to say, and she just held him a little tighter.

* * *

"Mother, can I ask you something?" Astrid asked after days of doubting and thinking that brought her nothing to solve her dilemma. Normally she would ask Hiccup when she had a problem, but this time the dilemma was about him. And he definitely didn't want to hear about this.

Kirsten frowned as she put dinner on the table. Astrid was glad her father wasn't here, he wouldn't understand this.

"Of course, Astrid," Kirsten said as she sat down across from Astrid. She took a deep breath as she tried to formulate her question well.

"It's about Hiccup. It's… It's about his scars. A few days ago I went to his house in the morning to get him, because he was late for dragon training. And… Hiccup was there, without his blindfold on. And… I saw his scars again. It's the first time in months I've seen them, and… it's…" Astrid didn't know how to say this. She felt awful for thinking it, and she knew Hiccup would be mortified if he knew. But… it was still _there_.

Kirsten said nothing, she just looked at her with a warm look, and Astrid felt a little more reassured that for once her mother didn't tease her about Hiccup.

"They're ugly, okay. They're just… His scars bother me. And I feel awful, but… I had almost forgotten he had them. Or at least that they were… this bad. I thought they were still… eyes, but there are no eyes left. There's nothing left. And I know it's my fault it's that way, and I felt so guilty again, and I just… I didn't want to look at it. I told him he should put his blindfold on, and he did, but… I'm afraid that I'll feel bad the next time I see those scars, and the time after that, and so on," she said, staring at her food instead of her mother.

"I see. You're afraid that you won't like Hiccup on your wedding night," Kirsten said, and Astrid looked up with a mortified expression. Why couldn't her mother talk about Hiccup without mentioning marriage?! She was about to protest, before realizing her mother was right. It was something that… worried her. What if they bared themselves to each other, and she wouldn't… like it because she had to look at those ugly scars? Could she ask him to keep his blindfold on? He wouldn't like that. And she wouldn't like it either.

So she bowed her head again and nodded, unable to face her mother again.

"Maybe? I just don't know what to do, mother. I mean, I can't ask him to keep it covered up forever, can I?" she softly said, wondering why running away and hiding from the problem seemed such an attractive option right now.

"Let me ask you a question, Astrid. Is Hiccup bothered by the scars on your hands?" Kirsten asked, and Astrid only felt more guilty.

"At first he was. Every time I grabbed his hand he'd apologize for it. He felt really guilty about it, I suppose. But that… eventually he stopped doing that, and now he says they're comforting. Apparently he can recognize me by my hands," she said with a chuckle, wondering how Hiccup got over his guilt.

"Exactly. Now, don't tell your father I told you this, but he has a big scar on his back. It's pretty ugly, but he obtained it while… fighting off a dragon trying to burn our house down. So when I see it, I don't see an ugly scar. I see the proof that he fought to protect us. And that's what Hiccup does when he feels your hands. He doesn't feel an ugly scar. He feels the hands of… someone who was willing to burn herself to help him," Astrid's mother said, laughing lightly at the end.

Astrid frowned as she thought about it. That might be easy if the scar's story was heroic or reassuring. But… Hiccup's scars weren't caused by a heroic action. It was a reminder of her failure, of that horrible act she committed in her anger.

How could that ever be reassuring?

"But… I don't want to think about what the scars are about. It's a bad story! There's no strength or honor in it, mother! And I just… my mistake is literally staring me in the face every time I look at him! Today, after the announcement of dragon racing, he was sad again, thinking he couldn't fly because of his blindness, and I felt even worse! It's bad enough to see his mental scars, I don't want to see his other scars as well!" Astrid exclaimed, burying her face in her hands, all her appetite gone.

"I'm sorry, Astrid, but… I don't have an easy answer for this. Just… maybe ask him to show them to you more often, so you can get used to it. And… if the story is so bad, maybe you can find a new story to associate with those scars? Just like Hiccup first felt guilt at your scars, but now he has a different story for it," Kirsten said as she rubbed Astrid's shoulders.

Astrid tried not to groan. That might be easy for her mother, she was a storyteller, making new stories is what she did. But Astrid didn't know how to create a new story. How could she build something new on something this damaged?

"And you know, when you're married, I think you'll be too busy looking at another part of him to look at his face," Kirsten suddenly said with a light voice, like she was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Mother! That's not… Gods, can't you talk about Hiccup for five seconds without mentioning marriage?!" Astrid shouted, her face flushing bright red, but Kirsten merely laughed before taking another bite of her food.

* * *

"Dad, can I ask you something?" Hiccup hesitantly asked as his dad put dinner on the table, and he felt around and grabbed the plate prepared for him. Stoick never mentioned it, but Hiccup noticed he always ordered the food in a certain way. Meat on the right, vegetables at the top, sauce at the bottom. Hiccup knew that his father never did that on his own plate. But he did it for Hiccup, because he needed to know where each type of food was.

"Of course, son," Stoick said, and it was followed by chewing sounds.

"Can I participate in dragon racing?" he asked, preparing for his dad to laugh at the mere suggestion of it. Instead, Stoick was silent for a long time.

"Hiccup," he started, and Hiccup was sure there would be an angry lecture now.

"Why would you think I wouldn't let you?" his father continued, and Hiccup nearly dropped his spoon, splattering sauce on his shirt.

"Because… Because it's dangerous, and because I probably wouldn't be any good at it anyway," he slowly said, feeling really stupid for even bringing it up as he felt around for cloth.

"Hiccup. To be honest, I'd rather not see you do such a dangerous sport, especially after you hurt yourself earlier. But I realized that flying is a part of you. Dragons are a part of you. And… if there's anything I've learned, it's that I can't protect you from everything. So you might as well do something that you love while surrounded by people who'll protect you as best they can, like Astrid and Toothless. And maybe injuries would be an occupational hazard of that. But maybe that's a fair risk for doing something you love," Stoick said as he pressed a piece of cloth into his hand, and Hiccup wasn't sure what to say. So he just took the cloth and dabbed at the sauce on his shirt.

Before he could figure out how to respond, his father spoke up again.

"And as for you not being good at it, I doubt it. Look, son, I know that in the past, I've said some… bad things about you. I'm sorry for that, and I want you to know that while, yes, you're not the best fighter, and you have trouble doing some things because of your blindness, you're still the best dragon rider there is, and I am so proud of you."

Hiccup wasn't so sure. Flying with Toothless went pretty well these days, but dragon racing would be a whole new level. He'd need to know where the sheep were, where the basket was, and he'd need to communicate with Toothless. But maybe some things could be done. He grabbed the metal sketchbook from his pocket and opened it to a new sheet when ideas sprang to mind.

Stoick sighed. "Hiccup, no drawing at the dinner table. What are you trying to draw anyway?" he said, and Hiccup reluctantly put the sketchbook down, careful not to drop it in his food.

"I was just trying to figure out how many seconds it takes to fly from the entrance of the arena to my basket. I have to throw my sheep in the right basket after all," he said, and Stoick chuckled.

"I was wondering about that. Do you have any ideas for how we can make it fairer for you?" Stoick said, and Hiccup grabbed the sketchbook again, eager to describe where the baskets should be placed.

* * *

"No Hiccup, that's the green! The blue is next to it!" Astrid said, laughing, when Hiccup grabbed the wrong jar of paint again. He laughed as well as he put the jar down and grabbed a jar next to it.

"No, that's the red! On the other side! Here!" she exclaimed as she grabbed his hand and brought it to the correct jar.

"I'm sorry! I still can't believe you want me to do this," he said between laughs, dipping a finger into the blue paint.

"Hey, I can't really do it myself, and I don't trust anyone else with this important task," she said as Hiccup used the hand not covered in paint to feel for her face.

"I'm honored that you think I'm worthy, milady," he said with a serious voice, before descending into laughs again. Astrid couldn't help but smile too. This was nice. She had spent so much time lately thinking about his scars that she had forgotten how nice it was to just goof around with him.

"Still, why don't you ask your parents or something? I'm sure your mom would love to do it," he said after he stopped laughing and felt her face again. Astrid snorted.

"I think she'd much rather see you do it," she said, knowing her mother would never stop teasing her if she knew what Hiccup was doing right now, and Hiccup's expression turned to confused. "Never mind. And I trust you can do this. You made wonderful drawings, I'm sure you can make some nice war paint as well," she added, and Hiccup shrugged.

"I still don't know how wise this is, but I'm willing to try. Close your eyes, please," he said, and she obeyed. It was odd, feeling Hiccup's hand carefully explore the skin around her eyes, and suddenly there was a wet sensation as he drew a line of paint over her nose.

He continued to feel her face, before drawing more lines. She opened one eye to look at him, and was surprised by how close he was, his face inches from hers. His mouth was open in a half-smile, and his head was slightly tilted. She felt the urge to lean in and kiss him, but she didn't want to break his concentration. She closed her eye again when he moved to the other half of her face, and for a minute the only sounds were their breathing.

"Okay, I think that's the blue done. Where's the orange?" Hiccup asked, and she opened her eyes to see him put the blue jar down and grab another one at random.

"That's the green again! This one's orange," she said, grabbing his hand to move it to the correct jar. Her fingers ran over his, and some paint ended up on her hand.

"Okay, hold still again," he said and she smiled for a moment, before staying still. Hiccup used one finger to gently feel for the blue paint on her face, before drawing an orange line next to it. She kept her eyes open, looking at his blindfold.

Astrid did her best to stay still as she looked at the piece of cloth covering the scars she knew were there. Despite all the thinking she had done over the past week, she still had no idea how to make a better story about the scars.

"You're going to look completely different when I'm done. I hope it's better," he whispered, and she frowned. If only Hiccup could look different. Her hands began to itch again, something they often did when she was nervous, and she rubbed her fingers together, trying to scratch it. The blue paint smeared all over her fingers, and she got an idea. Maybe Hiccup could look different, if only for a short while.

"And… done," Hiccup said as he applied one final line, and she exhaled, before looking at her reflection in the water basin.

Hiccup had drawn blue streams, filled in with orange, that reminded her of Stormfly's tail. The tongues spread out from her nose over her eyes and cheeks, and she could almost see a stream of blue fire in it. It was slightly asymmetric, the drawing on the left side was slightly smaller than its mirror image on the right side, and not all the streams were filled in completely. Those were probably errors because Hiccup couldn't see his work.

It was still perfect.

"Thank you, Hiccup! It's amazing! Can I paint your face now?" she asked, getting an idea for a fitting painting. He looked surprised, before chuckling.

"You want to? Okay, then. Though try not to get any paint on my blindfold, please," he said as he washed his hands in the basin, and she punched him lightly on his arm.

"No, I mean without the blindfold. Can I paint over your… your scars, please?" Astrid said, and he frowned, clearly confused.

"I-I don't know if I like that, Astrid. I… I don't… I don't want to everyone to see them again," he softly said, and she felt even more guilty. But this was something she needed. And he needed to become more comfortable with them as well.

"Please? No one else will see them, I'll paint all over them, I've got an idea for how to make them look much cooler. And… And I have to… I want to do this, Hiccup," she said, and he remained silent for a long time, clearly unsure. But just when she thought she had failed, he nodded.

"Okay. But only if you… if nothing underneath is shown, okay? Showing them one time was more than enough," Hiccup slowly said, and she smiled.

"Thank you, Hiccup! And I promise they won't see anything!" Astrid said, before reaching her hands out to the knot behind his head. Hoping he couldn't feel how much her hands were shaking, she undid the knot and let the blindfold fall to the ground. She couldn't stop her sharp intake of breath when the scars were revealed, but she gritted her teeth and forced herself to relax. They were just scars. And while they were ugly now, she could make them fearsome.

Hiccup looked uncomfortable, rubbing his hands and scratching his hair, but she forced herself to move her hand that wasn't covered in paint to his face. Hiccup winced when she touched the strange ridges and blobs on his face, feeling similar to the pink and white scars on her own hands.

"Does this hurt?" she asked as she forced herself to gently feel the remains of his eyes, glad that she couldn't really feel the texture of the weird tissue.

"No, it just… feels weird. I don't like touching it myself, but… your hands don't feel as bad," he said, and she could see him start to relax.

She washed her hands before dipping her finger into the red paint and running it over his nose. He flinched, but after that he remained still as she painted streaks of red and orange over his scars, trying to create an image of fire. Hiccup had been burned many times, but he had always survived, and Astrid felt a strange urge to show the world that this boy melted her heart and warmed her insides. Fire burned and destroyed, but fire could also reforge and renew. And while the accident was horrible, Astrid was glad that it had caused the walls between them to burn down.

The image wasn't as realistic as she had hoped, and she used some black paint to create smoke and ashes, hoping the smoke clouds on his cheeks would divert attention away from the two… holes that were normally hidden by the blindfold.

"Can I paint your hair?" she asked as she grabbed the yellow jar, and he smiled.

"I suppose that it doesn't matter much now, does it? Okay then," Hiccup said, and she drew some yellow and orange streaks in his reddish hair, trying to make it look like his hair itself was fire.

A few minutes later she was done, and she took a step back to look at her work. The scars were all but invisible, completely covered by the red and orange tongues of flame. The now red holes where his eyes used to be barely stood out compared to the large flame and clouds of smoke, and Astrid was sure no one would be able to see them when he was flying through the air at high speeds. Sparks, cinders, and wisps of smoke covered his hair, and overall it looked like the boy was on fire, but without it hurting him. Like he was immune to the effects of the flames.

Like he was fire himself.

A horn rang out, the signal that the match was about to begin, and she grabbed Hiccup's hand, smearing some red paint on it.

"Ready to race?" she asked, and he smiled.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

* * *

"And Hiccup's about to score! No wait! He missed the basket! Ooh, that's bad luck for the heir, 'cause he was on fire earlier, wasn't he Bucket?" Mulch's voice rang through the arena, amplified by the large horn he used to comment on the game. Astrid was just entering the arena, wanting to dump her own sheep, and she arrived just in time to see Hiccup narrowly miss his throw, throwing the sheep in the small gap between his black basket and her blue one.

"I think he's still on fire, Mulch. Don't you think we should throw some water on him?" Bucket said into the horn, and Astrid smiled. At least her painting fooled Bucket, and she hadn't noticed any jeers or insults from the audience about the scars.

There were just a lot of fire jokes, though some people said she was looking a little blue today as well. Astrid dumped her sheep in her own basket before circling around the arena, planning to put Hiccup's sheep in his basket. The boy deserved the point, he was doing so well. She had to admit that despite, or maybe because of, his blindness Hiccup and Toothless worked together better than any other team. Astrid felt a pang of jealousy as she watched Toothless give instructions and directions, which Hiccup followed without hesitation using his new tail pedal, making them circle around the arena before leaving through the great gate. Apparently they decided not to try and get the sheep from the narrow gap. She wished she and Stormfly could be that in sync.

She was about to grab the sheep when a red blur appeared in front of her and took it, and it took a moment before she realized that it was Snotlout and Hookfang.

"Snotlout, Snotlout, oi, oi, oi!" the boy shouted as he dumped the sheep in his own red basket, and Astrid felt a surge of anger.

"Hey, why don't you find your own sheep?!" she shouted at him as she left the arena.

"Hey, I'm just trying to win, babe. I would have given it to you if you'd asked, though," Snotlout said while giving her a look that made her skin crawl. So she just growled and flew through the exit to look for more sheep.

"Both Snotlout and Astrid scored! That puts Astrid in the lead with 15 sheep, Snotlout second with 13 sheep, Hiccup third with 12, and the twins and Fishlegs tied at 10 sheep!" Mulch shouted, and her anger grew when she realized Snotlout stole second place from Hiccup there. The former bully might have been nicer to Hiccup lately, he still got annoying whenever he rode Hookfang.

A horn blew in the village, and Astrid flew in that direction, knowing what it meant.

"With all 60 sheep found, it's time for the final sheep! The black sheep is worth 5 points to whoever gets it in their basket!" Mulch said, and the cheers from the arena grew louder as the game was about to reach its most exciting point. Astrid flew low over the village, trying to see the catapult that would launch the black sheep, and narrowly avoided a collision with the twins when they came flying from the opposite direction.

The horn blew again, and she saw the sheep fly through the air a few hundred yards away from her. She flew in that direction, noticing that both Hiccup and Fishlegs were near. They came at the sheep from opposite directions, and Astrid recognized the situation. One of them would have to give up and turn to avoid a collision, and it was the one who held out for longest who got the sheep. They called it 'the staring game'.

Hiccup and Toothless were masters at this, probably because Hiccup couldn't even see Meatlug and Fishlegs coming, so he wasn't afraid. So Astrid wasn't surprised when she saw Toothless growl just before they reached the sheep, making Meatlug drop and turn, and Hiccup held out his arms to grab the sheep. He awkwardly held it above his head, clearly having difficulty bearing the weight of the heavier sheep.

Astrid knew that she could still win. She wasn't that far away from Toothless, and she was sure she could overtake them. So she flew at them, though she resolved not to do any dangerous or dirty tricks to get the black sheep. She'd only take it if Hiccup made a big mistake. He deserved to win. He deserved to be rewarded for all his effort.

She had often accompanied him on training for the race, and she had marveled at his non-stop efforts at teaching Toothless more words they needed, like 'flip', when Toothless needed to fly upside down for a moment so Hiccup could catch a sheep, and 'gate', which Toothless would growl when they flew through the entrance of the arena so Hiccup would know when to throw the sheep. They had practiced signals for when to grab sheep, giving each other directions, communicating the locations of other riders, and more. All things she and the other teens took for granted, because they didn't need their dragon to tell them all that information.

And now she saw the fruits of that labor as Hiccup expertly dodged the twins coming in using a barrel roll. But then she saw something that infuriated her. Snotlout was coming from behind Toothless, and she knew they couldn't see an attack from that side coming. With the way Hiccup was holding the sheep, she knew it would be child's play for Snotlout to take it.

She wasn't about to let Snotlout steal another sheep from Hiccup, so she told Stormfly to turn and fly between the Monstrous Nightmare and Toothless. Stormfly seemed eager to stop Hookfang as well. The two dragons didn't get along very well.

"Didn't I tell you to get your own sheep, Snotface?!" she shouted as she flew in his path, and for a moment he looked terrified. But then he spurred Hookfang on again with angry shouts, initiating a staring game between them. Normally she'd probably lose, not wanting to risk hurting Stormfly if Snotlout suddenly decided to grow some balls. But now she wouldn't give up. She took a quick look over her shoulder to see Toothless fly towards the arena, dodging another attack from the twins.

Snotlout looked at her with fury in his eyes, before kicking and shouting at his dragon to fly on. Astrid braced herself for impact, but then Hookfang set himself on fire, startling Snotlout, before turning around and landing. As the Nightmare passed Astrid she heard him warble, and it almost sounded… apologetic. Like the dragon was apologizing for his rider's behavior.

"You tell him, Hookfang," she shouted after the still burning Nightmare, hoping he could hear it over Snotlout's angered and pained screams, before turning around and flying towards the arena, hoping she would be there in time to see Hiccup win.

* * *

Hiccup barely managed to switch the pedal to the right position in time so Toothless could dodge an attacker, he wasn't sure which one. Adrenaline rushed through his veins as he tightened his hold on the squirming sheep in his arms, and prepared to enter the arena. The crowd cheered loudly, and he could barely hear Toothless' growls. They circled around the arena, slowing down to a practiced speed so Hiccup would know when to throw the sheep. If they went too slow or too fast, or if Hiccup threw too early or too late, the sheep would end up in the wrong basket.

"Oh! It looks like Astrid has come to the defense of the heir! It looked like she was going to take the black sheep, but then she veered off the stop Snotlout from attacking Hiccup!" Mulch had barely finished commenting when Toothless loudly growled "Gawr", the signal that they entered the arena and that Hiccup had to count to five before throwing.

His thoughts raced when he heard the commentary. Astrid had given up the chance to win to distract Snotlout? Why would she do that? Did she want him to win? But she deserved the win more than him, she could win, she should win.

He nearly lost his count, distracted by the shock and the cheering and shouting of the crowd, which was now chanting for the 'dragonfire boy' to claim the victory. He wasn't entirely sure if he was at three or four in his count, but he was nearly certain it was four. He didn't dare to exit and enter the ring again for a recount, sure that the other riders were hot on his heels. So he made his decision, counted 'five' in his head, and threw.

* * *

"You freaking idiot," Astrid said as she punched Hiccup on his arm after the victory celebration. She hadn't had the chance to talk to him during the celebration, because of all the compliments and congratulations the winner got. Which should have been him.

"Hey, it's not my fault! I got distracted, and it's surprisingly hard to get your sheep in the right basket when you can't see it!" he said, grinning, before catching her hand from the air. He got better at that every day. She frowned, unsure if his mistake was really a mistake.

"And congratulations, racing champion," he added, before pulling her a little closer.

"Only because you messed up and threw the sheep in _my_ basket. You should have won, dragonfire boy," she said, though she couldn't help but smile when she saw he wasn't angry. On the contrary, he looked happy that she won. She started doubting that he accidentally missed his own basket more and more. But she didn't want to press him about it now.

"First of all, you could have taken the black sheep from me, according to Mulch. Second, why does everyone suddenly call me 'dragonfire boy'? What's up with that?" Hiccup asked as he put his hands on her shoulders, and she was grateful they were alone for now.

"Because you look like fire, and you were clearly the best dragon rider out there," she said as she ran her fingers over the paint on his face.

"Wait… you painted… fire on me? Why?" he asked, looking confused, though his smile didn't disappear.

"Because you went through the biggest firestorm in history and came out alive. There's power in you, Hiccup. Both inside and out. You… You always make me feel warm, and… well, it concealed your scars well," she said, and he just smiled more before pulling her against him in a hug.

"Now I feel bad for my silly painting," he whispered in her ear, and she laughed.

"You want to paint fire on my face next week?" she asked as she pulled out of the hug and smiled at him. He chuckled as he ran his fingers over her face.

"I doubt I'd be able to do fire well. I'm surprised you like this one, and this one was simple. And besides… I've had enough of fire. Maybe water suits you better. You always make me feel calmer. You saved me from fire, remember?" Hiccup said as he grabbed her hands again and ran his fingers over her scars, and she snorted.

"Speaking of water, we should probably wash off this paint," she said as she reached for the nearby bucket of water and cloth.

"Aww, but I liked being 'dragonfire boy'," Hiccup said with a pout, and she responded by rubbing the wet cloth over his face, washing some red paint off.

"Don't worry, you'll always be my dragon boy, and you'll always be my fire," she said as the scars appeared from under the layer of paint again.

"And you'll… you'll be my fire too, and my water, and my eyes, and… I don't even know!" he said, laughing as he felt around for the bucket. Before she could respond, he threw a handful of water at her face, before trying to rub the paint off with his bare hands.

Maybe this was something she could remember. Maybe this could be the story she could think off when she looked at his scars. The story of the 'dragonfire boy', and how he accidentally, or not so accidentally, made her win the race he should have won.

So she refused to be bothered by the scars as she threw water back at Hiccup, making the yellow paint on his forehead run in rivers over the scar tissue, before smearing black and red paint through it as well. He laughed, taking some of the blue paint from her face and smearing it on his own as well, before suddenly leaning in and rubbing his dirty face against hers, making them both laugh.

Yes, this would be a good story to remember. It wasn't very heroic, but it was very Hiccup-like. And Astrid would much rather have that than big battle scars.


	3. Black Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during Black as Night. After the Battle of the Red Death, Astrid takes the wounded Hiccup back to Berk. Stoick is left behind on Dragon Island, and is forced to wonder if Hiccup will be okay. Even more pressing matters concern him, however, as the Vikings need food and shelter, and people are skeptical of the possibility of peace.

Stoick had never felt so incredibly tired. This had been the longest day he could remember, and he knew it was still far from over. He had an entire expedition to look after. The wounded would have to be treated, the ships had to be repaired, food would have to be rationed and shelter would have to be found.

But now, as he looked at the dark figure of the Nadder carrying his son he didn't want to think about any of that. He felt overwhelmed with thoughts and concerns. Stoick was already wondering if it was wise to trust Hiccup's life to the girl who maimed him, and her dragon. It was a weird thing to even think about. _Her_ dragon. A dragon that didn't attack them, that was even helping them. He put his faith in a being that, less than an hour before, had been his mortal enemy.

Simply because Astrid had said she trusted the beast.

Because Hiccup trusted the dragons.

A loud warble rang out, and Stoick turned his eyes away from the tiny dot in the sky to the Night Fury next to him. The… thing that he had bound and gagged earlier, that had looked at him with nothing but contempt and fury in its eyes. Stoick frowned when he saw something in those eyes he had never expected to see in the eyes of a dragon.

He saw concern. The dragon was staring at the Nadder, now disappearing into the dark clouds hanging overhead, while warbling sadly. It, _he_ , looked like he wanted nothing more than to fly after his rider.

His friend?

Stoick wished he had asked Astrid what role this dragon played. All he knew was that Hiccup cared about this dragon. It had seemed an impossibility, back in the ring this morning when Hiccup had defended the beast. He had thought it was a betrayal. Some trick from Loki.

He thought he had made it clear to Hiccup that this was unacceptable. But then… then Hiccup had shown up, here! Right when Stoick thought they were all doomed Hiccup had distracted that monster dragon with the help of the other teenagers.

And now, here they were. Hiccup was wounded, probably dying, and his only chance was a ride on a Deadly Nadder, accompanied by a girl he had put in jail earlier that day. The fleet was burned, he could barely breathe because of the smoke, and there was a dragon next to him that looked like it was about to cry.

Stoick felt embarrassingly close to crying himself. But he knew Gobber was still standing next to him, and the Hoffersons were softly talking a few yards away. This was no moment to cry and wallow in self-pity. He had to lead his people to safety, as he had done for all these years.

But a small voice in his head wondered if he had led his village to safety today. It seemed like he had led them to their deaths, had Hiccup not intervened.

"Let's check on the men," he told Gobber, and started walking towards the beach where most of the villagers were located. He dreaded hearing the results of his folly, but he had to know.

Stoick walked towards Spitelout, who was talking to some Vikings. As soon as he saw his chief, Spitelout ended the conversation and turned to Stoick.

"How are the men? How many casualties?" Stoick asked, trying to sound professional and cold. Spitelout had seen enough weakness from him earlier. He needed to know Stoick was still able to lead.

Stoick tried his best not to think about the fact that Hiccup was among the wounded.

Maybe he was among the dead.

"Surprisingly few. Nobody died, thank Freya. There are many wounded, but nothing we can't treat here for now. Broken bones, some concussions, burns, that kind of stuff. Your boy came in just in time. If he and the others hadn't distracted the beast…"

Spitelout didn't finish the sentence, but Stoick knew what he meant. The dragon leader would have slaughtered them. They wouldn't have been treating wounds. They would have been building funeral ships. If there had even been anybody left to build them.

But they had survived, because of Hiccup and the other teenagers. And now his son was the only one seriously wounded.

"Good. Thank the gods for that. What about the ships? Anything we can salvage?" Stoick asked, hoping he could go home soon and make sure Hiccup was okay.

"We haven't really checked yet, but Yakbrain thinks there's enough unburned wood to build a new ship. Maybe two. That Fishlegs boy came to me earlier, and said he can use the dragons to carry wood back and forth. I told him to try what he can, but honestly I'm not sure if we can trust these… beasts," Spitelout said, and Stoick shook his head, trying not to think about the sight of the burning ships.

He had seen from the shore how Hiccup and Astrid tried to release the Night Fury from the chains it was wrapped up in, surrounded by fire. Stoick had been overwhelmed at first, unable to move from the shock of seeing his son leap into a maze of flames to save a dragon. But then the monster's tail had smashed the ship, and Hiccup had disappeared beneath the waves.

Somehow, in that moment he didn't care anymore that Hiccup had been trying to save a dragon. That he had disobeyed his orders. All he saw was his son in danger, so he ran as fast as he could. When he arrived Astrid had already saved the boy. He was alive. But he had cried out. Not for Stoick. Not even for his mother, like he had heard even the bravest warriors do when they were scared or hurt.

The boy had called out for Toothless. For the dragon. Somehow, that changed something in Stoick. For some reason, his boy was so desperate to know his dragon was safe that he had to do something.

So he saved a dragon.

And now he was standing here, surrounded by the remnants of the fleet, the evidence of his foolishness all around. And the Night Fury was lying in the dirt where he had left him, still warbling sadly and gazing at the sky.

"Stoick?" Spitelout asked, and he remembered he still had a village to lead.

"We can trust the dragons. At least the… trained ones, I think. H-Hiccup trusted them, and… they didn't betray him," he stammered as he looked back at the sad Night Fury, hoping no one noticed how shaky his voice sounded.

"Right, if you think they can help us, I trust you, Stoick," Spitelout said, and Stoick tried to smile to show his gratitude, but he didn't think it was a very convincing smile. Suddenly there was a flash, and moments later a loud clap of thunder rang out.

"I don't like these clouds. Rain and wind is coming, and we should find shelter soon. The wounded need to be kept dry and warm, and there's no use in trying to move driftwood in a raging storm," Gobber said, and Stoick nodded.

"You're right. We all need a bit of comfort and rest. Maybe we can move into the tunnels? Where the dragons lived? Is that safe?" he asked, trying not to show how exhausted he was. He could sleep when everyone was safe and dry.

"I think most of the dragons are gone, and besides, they don't seem to be so hostile anymore. Not since that… thing died. They are over there, watching us. Do you think they're afraid of us?" the blacksmith asked as he gestured to the hills a few hundred yards away, and Stoick shook his head as more lightning flashed.

"I think they simply don't want to fight anymore. And honestly, I'm tired of fighting too. Stay vigilant, but don't attack them unless they attack us. Now make the preparations to move the wounded. I'm going to check the beach, see if there is anyone left there," Stoick eventually said, and he turned around after Spitelout's nod, hoping for some time alone to think.

He had barely walked twenty paces when he heard someone running up behind him.

"Sir? Chief? H-How is Hiccup? Is he okay?" a nervous voice asked, and he turned around to see Snotlout just behind him, looking scared.

"Not well, Snotlout. He lost his leg," Stoick said, not in the mood for this conversation. He didn't want to think about Hiccup right now. He wanted to forget the image of Hiccup's skin falling off. He wanted to forget the scream Hiccup produced when he cut through what was left of the ankle.

"B-But… But he'll be okay, right? He won't… die, right?" Snotlout asked, and Stoick rubbed his forehead, trying to stop the headache coming up.

"I don't know. Astrid is taking him to Berk right now, and hopefully they'll arrive in time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do," he said as he turned around again, hoping Snotlout would go back to his father now.

"B-But chief? I-I have something I h-have to confess," the boy said, and Stoick turned back to him, frowning. What was this about?

"I lied to you. Earlier, before the trial. When I said the blindness was Hiccup's own fault. It wasn't his fault. And it… it wasn't Astrid's fault either. I mean, s-she did swing the axe, but she didn't mean to do it! It was an accident, sir," Snotlout stammered, and Stoick wasn't sure what to say. He felt sick that he had believed the lie earlier. He had believed that it was Hiccup's fault. Why hadn't he doubted it? Why had he assumed this disaster had to be Hiccup's fault?

When had he stopped believing in his son?

More thunder roared, and Stoick wondered if Thor was angry at him. Before he could formulate a response, Snotlout spoke up again, though he didn't look up from his boots.

"And I'm sorry for hurting Hiccup. I'm just… I don't know what to do. I hit him all those times, and he couldn't defend himself, but now he's hurt and… I just feel so sorry. He still let me come on this mission, even after what I did to him and… now he's hurt and I'm okay, and I just feel so… sick," Snotlout stammered, and Stoick felt empty. Hiccup had told him that Snotlout picked on him. But he had never listened. Not really. He had just said Hiccup should fight back. He thought it wasn't that bad, just some wrestling and play-fighting like he did with Spitelout and Gobber when he was a kid.

But if Snotlout, a boy notorious for his inability to see his own faults, was feeling this guilty, then how bad had it been?

He had been blind and deaf. He hadn't listened to his son. He hadn't looked at him. Thinking back he remembered days when Hiccup came home, limping or clutching a bruised arm, and he just hadn't _seen_ it.

What had he done?

"I…" he started, not knowing what to say.

Toothless growled, and Stoick looked back to see the dragon glare at Snotlout. Had the Night Fury known? Had Hiccup trusted him more than he trusted his father?

Had the Night Fury listened more than him?

Stoick looked at the fury in the dragon's eyes, and he wanted to be angry at Snotlout too, he wanted to hit the boy for hurting his son. But the anger that had driven him for so long was gone, and all he felt was shame. Earlier today, just before the expedition left Berk, he had made a large sacrifice to Njord, asking him for a safe journey across the sea, and another sacrifice to Thor, asking him for strength and courage.

He should have turned to Odin instead, to ask for wisdom. He should have sacrificed to Baldr to ask for understanding and the ability to forgive and have mercy.

What was the point of anger and violence anymore? All the anger had simply lead to this day, with his son wounded and dying. Maybe it was time to start over and forgive.

Though Stoick didn't know if he could forgive himself.

"We will talk about this later, and then we will discuss your punishment. But for now, take care of the Night Fury. See if he's wounded, and try to get that metal off him. I've got work to do," Stoick eventually told Snotlout, hoping that if the boy could earn forgiveness from the dragon, maybe Hiccup could one day forgive him too.

"But… Yes chief," Snotlout said, clearly scared, but he slowly walked over to the growling Night Fury anyway. There was another bright flash, followed by a loud roar of thunder barely a second later. Moments later it started to rain. At first Stoick thought it was hail. But then he looked closer at the black drops falling on his arm, and he saw it was raining thick mud and ash. His breathing quickened as he looked at the ashes falling from the sky, wondering if the unusual rain was a message from the gods.

Stoick looked away from the Night Fury and Snotlout slowly approaching each other to look back at the beach, and his hand instinctively went to his war hammer when he saw dragons flying over the villagers.

It was only when he saw that there were people riding the dragons that he released the hammer's handle. His jaw dropped when he saw the Thorston twins direct their Zippleback to grab a piece of driftwood from the ocean and drop it on a large pile on the beach, while Fishlegs used his Gronkle to push the least damaged ship closer to shore.

Vikings riding dragons. Dragons helping Vikings. Dragons and Vikings, working together to collect wood and repair the ships. Stoick never thought he'd see this day. Was this a sign of a new world? Could Hiccup have been right that the dragons had just been defending themselves? Was the war caused by the monster Hiccup had slain?

The rain became thicker, but Stoick barely noticed, overwhelmed by the sight before him. He felt scared, confused, light-headed, ashamed. But somewhere deep within, he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time.

Hope.

Maybe there was hope for peace. There was hope for friendship. Hope for an end to fighting and war.

Maybe that's what Hiccup had been talking about this afternoon. Hiccup had seen this, somehow. But Stoick had been deaf to his words. He had denounced him, called him a traitor and a liar. He had pushed his son so far away Hiccup had to kill a giant dragon to make him listen.

And now Stoick wanted nothing more than to listen, but Hiccup wasn't here anymore. He wished Hiccup could see this. See that Vikings and dragons were working together.

Then it hit him, and Stoick stumbled, nearly slipping in the muddy ground.

Hiccup would never see this. Even if he survived, he wouldn't see it. He was blind. His son was blind. He had known that, but he only _realized_ it now.

With the last of his power, Stoick stumbled over a nearby hill, trying to get as far away from the other villagers as possible before he'd break down in front of them.

Hiccup was blind. Forever. And he hadn't… done anything about it. He had organized a trial, he had tried to punish those responsible, but he hadn't taken care of his son. He hadn't thought about what he needed, what he'd been through. Why hadn't he realized it?

"You okay?" a voice asked, and Stoick looked up to see Gobber next to him, patting his shoulder. Stoick wanted to say he was fine, that there was nothing wrong. He wanted to play the stoic chief he'd played for so long. But he couldn't do it anymore. That chief was gone for a moment, and all that was left was the father whose world had just collapsed.

So he just shook his head, unable to keep up the facade anymore.

"Hiccup will be fine, Stoick. I know you might not believe it, but Astrid cares about him. She'll do anything she can to help him," Gobber said, and Stoick shook his head more. It was about more than that!

"He won't be fine, Gobber! He's blind! And now he's lost his leg as well, and… I just don't know what to do anymore! I thought I knew what was best for him! But now… I'm a terrible father. I messed everything up, and I don't know how to fix it," he admitted, hoping Gobber would understand.

The blacksmith sighed deeply. "I'll admit you haven't been the best dad in Berk. But… I think you can still fix things. Yes, Hiccup is blind and crippled, but he is not useless, Stoick. Remember that. He's going to need help. A lot of help. It's going to be difficult, he's going to be angry, you're going to be angry, and I'll probably have to make you two talk to each other a lot. But I think it can be done, if you're willing to put in the effort," Gobber said, and Stoick nodded as fiercely as he could, thankful that no one was around to see him brought down to this.

"But… But how do I tell him that I'm sorry and that I want things to be better? I don't know how to speak to Hiccup. I don't know what words to use to ask for forgiveness! When I see him again, what do I say?" he desperately asked, not caring anymore about his image as the all-knowing chief.

Gobber chuckled before shaking his head. "That's where you're going wrong, Stoick. Both you Hiccup are both too busy thinking about what to say to listen. When you see him, when you're alone with him again, don't talk. Listen to him. Listen to what he has to say. Encourage him to talk to you. And then, when you understand why he did what he did and why he feels what he feels, you'll figure out what to say in return."

Stoick thought about it for a while. At first he thought it was stupid advice. He had to apologize to Hiccup! He had to tell him how sorry he was, and what he would do to make things better. But slowly, he saw that maybe Gobber was right. He hadn't listened to Hiccup. He hadn't listened when Hiccup didn't want to go to dragon training. He hadn't listened to him when he shot down the Night Fury.

He hadn't listened in a long time. He hadn't talked to him. He'd talked _at_ him. He had dismissed all of Hiccup's rambling arguments as unimportant. But maybe if he listened to what he had to say, he could figure out where it had all gone wrong.

"I will. I'll listen to him. I won't ignore him anymore, I'll pay attention to the things he's interested in, and… I'll ask him how I can help him, what I can do to support him," he slowly said, and Gobber patted his shoulder again.

"You better. That's what Hiccup wanted, you know? I know he seemed rebellious and annoying, but he just wanted you to be proud of him. He knew he isn't the strongest, so he build those crazy machines, drew all those designs, made those elaborate plans. All to impress you," Gobber explained, and Stoick felt even blinder. He hadn't seen that. He had thought Hiccup was just being stupid, and he had yelled at him for it, said he was disappointed, or worse.

"I'm proud of him now. I'm proud that he fought for what he believed him, that he went into danger even though he's… blind, and that he defeated that monster. And… And I'll ask him to show me those drawings, and I'll look. I'll really look at them, and I'll be proud of him for that too," he promised, and it felt like a bit of weight had fallen from his shoulders, even though his clothes grew heavier with the increasingly thick black rain.

"Just don't forget it, Stoick. You've forgotten about Hiccup for too long. That kid needs his dad. He's going to need many things. He needs Astrid, and I think that in a way, Astrid needs him too. I think he needs that Night Fury as well. But most of all, he needs his father. Not his chief. He needs his father," Gobber said.

"I won't. And if I do forget, remind me, okay?" Stoick said, and they both smiled. They sat in comfortable silence for a while as the rain continued to fall, covering everything in cold black ashes.

"Stoick! We're moving into the tunnels! The rain's too hard!" Spitelout shouted, and Stoick looked around to see the lieutenant walk towards them, and behind him the villagers were walking towards the mountain. Stoick's throat became thick when he saw several dragons, including wild ones, holding their wings over the wounded, shielding them from the rain.

"You go ahead. I'll catch up in a minute. I'll just check the area," he said, trying his best not to start crying in front of his right-hand man.

Spitelout and Gobber, probably seeing right through the excuse, nodded and walked towards the mountain, leaving Stoick behind to gaze at the procession of Vikings and dragons.

When he was sure the others were far enough away that they couldn't see it, Stoick finally let his tears fall. At first he felt ashamed of it. He was Stoick the Vast, he didn't cry. He hadn't cried since Valka was taken by the dragons. The realization only made him cry harder. Valka had told him. She had believed that peace was possible, she had said they didn't have to fight the dragons, and he hadn't listened. Then she disappeared, and he tried to forget her words, her optimism, and he turned his grief into pointless anger against the dragons.

But he saw now that she hadn't fully disappeared. She lived on in Hiccup, and he had proved she had been right all along. Stoick wished more than ever that she was here again. He wished he could see her one more time. He'd tell her he was so sorry. He'd tell her she was right. He'd tell her about Hiccup, how he was the smartest and bravest kid on Berk. He wished he could ask her how to help Hiccup with his blindness. She had always been smarter than him, maybe if she had been there none if this would have happened.

Stoick wasn't sure how long he sat in the mud, crying for his lost love and wounded son, but by the time the tears stopped the rain was lessening as well. Slowly he stood up, feeling lighter and calmer than he had in years, like the anger and stress had been washed away by the black rain, and he felt hopeful for the future.

Valka might have been taken by a dragon, but another dragon had given him his son back. The fighting was over, and the skies were clearing. A new day was dawning. Hiccup might be wounded, blind, and crippled. But they'd overcome that. He'd mend their bond and guide his son, and let Hiccup guide him in return.

The hope gave him strength, and he started walking towards the tunnels where Vikings and dragons were sheltering together for the first time in history.

And before Stoick slipped back into the role of stoic chief, he silently promised Valka he wouldn't let their son get hurt again. He'd help and protect him.

Even if it killed him.


	4. Fighting and Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiccup is very happy when gets a nice new tool to help him get around town by himself. However, Astrid can't help but feel hurt when Hiccup gushes about how awesome it is, noticing he never thanked her for helping him. The two butt heads, leading to their first big fight.

The day had started out the same as most other days. Hiccup had gone through his normal morning routine: Be woken by Toothless, get up, dress, put blindfold on, put boots on, play with Toothless, fail to find sketchbook at usual location, try to teach Toothless that he shouldn't knock things off the desk during playtime, crawl around bedroom to find where the sketchbook had gone _this time_ , go downstairs.

From there it had changed. Breakfast went as usual, but afterward Stoick asked him to stay at the table for a moment.

Bewildered, Hiccup had remained seated, wondering what he had done wrong and preparing himself for a lecture.

"Son, I spoke to Trader Johann yesterday before he left, and he showed me something he saw blind people use in the south. In fact, he had a whole story about how he acquired the item from a blind seer after he saved his life or something, you know how he is. Anyway, I bought it from him, and I wanted to give it to you, to… uhm… help you on your way," Stoick explained, and Hiccup frowned. What kind of item would it be?

"Okay… thanks dad! Can I have it?" he asked, holding out his hands. A long object was placed in his hands, and Hiccup examined it. Cold to the touch, so likely metallic. Probably iron, judging by the texture and weight. Very thin and about four feet long, shaped almost like a spear, only without a sharp tip. Hiccup was getting more and more curious, searching for a button, small feature, anything that would differentiate the object from the countless iron bars they had in the forge.

He found nothing.

"Uh, what is it, exactly?" Hiccup asked, trying not to feel hurt about the seemingly useless gift.

"It's a stick to help you feel the ground in front of you! Johann showed it to me!" Stoick said before roughly pulling Hiccup to his feet and putting the end of the bar in his right hand.

"Look, you just swing it in front of you like this," his dad explained as he moved Hiccup's hand, making the other end of the stick bounce on the floor in front of him. "That way you can feel if there's a rock or stairs or something in front of you!" Stoick continued, clearly enthusiastic about the tool.

Hiccup resisted the urge to frown. His dad was trying very hard to find ways to help him with the blindness. But not all of his ideas were smart. Hiccup gritted his teeth when he remembered the rope Stoick had used to tie him to Toothless one day, so ' _he_ _wouldn't get separated or lost_ _,_ _'_. That had gone well until Toothless had chased after a Terrible Terror, taking Hiccup with him. He had been dragged over the rough forest ground for a few dozen yards before Toothless realized what he'd done.

This stick or cane seemed like a lot of hassle for little reward. Hiccup couldn't help but wonder if Trader Johann had made the story up in order to sell a worthless iron bar for a lot of money. But he didn't want to crush his dad's good mood. And it couldn't hurt, right?

So he just smiled. "Thanks dad! I'll try it out today," he said, thinking he'd probably throw it out once he got to the forge, and tell his dad later it wasn't a helpful tool.

"Good lad! I hope it makes you stumble less! I'll see you tonight," Stoick said as he left the house, and Hiccup resisted the urge to make the overused _"I won't see you,"_ joke. His dad never appreciated those.

Toothless nudged his arm, and Hiccup scratched his head. "Sorry bud, we don't have time for a flight right now. I've got to help Gobber in the forge. But we'll go this afternoon, I promise," he said as he grabbed the dragon's head and pulled it towards him for a quick hug.

Grumbling, Toothless moved away from his embrace and ran back upstairs, probably hoping to get some more sleep. Grabbing the cane, Hiccup walked out the door, figuring he might as well try out the gift.

* * *

By the time Hiccup got back to the house after a long day of sharpening swords and fetching supplies for the forge, he had completely changed his mind about the cane. It was awesome. It had taken a while to get used to moving it and interpreting the signals it gave him, but it was worth it. He could finally feel the ground in front of him before moving his feet there, and for the first time since he lost his eyes he hadn't stumbled or tripped once when walking through the village.

"Toothless! Wanna go for a flight?" he yelled into the house, sniggering when a moment later the sounds of a large dragon trying to reach the door as quickly as possible rang out.

"Hey bud! How's it going? Did you have a good nap?" he asked the Night Fury just before it pounced him, almost making him fall over. Laughing hard, he scratched Toothless' head with the hand not holding the cane.

"You're in a good mood," Astrid's voice suddenly said, and Hiccup jumped, not expecting her. But he was too cheerful to let the surprise bother him.

"It's a good day! Dad gave me an awesome gift!" he told Astrid, turning the cane towards her, careful not to hit her with it.

"A metal rod? Why are you so happy about that?" she asked, and Hiccup could hear the confusion in her voice.

"Because it helps me walk. Wanna walk to the cove with me? I'll show you," he said, and Toothless warbled happily.

"Okay. And can we go for a flight later?" Astrid asked, as she grabbed his arm as usual.

"I'd love to! But you don't have to grab my arm, Astrid. Look at this!" he said as he shrugged her arm off and started walking, tapping the cane on the ground in front of him.

Astrid didn't say anything, so Hiccup figured she didn't really understand what it meant.

"See? Now I can all but see the ground in front of me! Now you don't need to hold my hand every time we're out! I don't need you when I go out of the house anymore! Don't you understand, Astrid?! I can go by myself! I don't need you anymore!" he exclaimed as he kept walking, barely able to contain his excitement.

"But…" the tone of Astrid's voice shook him from his happy thoughts. She sounded… confused. "But I thought… I thought that you liked me walking with you," she said in a hurt voice, and he turned towards her, hoping he could explain.

"I do! But not always! I mean, today was awesome! It was the best day since I lost my leg! I didn't fall once, Astrid!" he said as he reached out and tried to grab her hand.

"But you don't fall when I'm with you either! I always catch you!" she said loudly, pulling her hand back, and Hiccup felt a surge of annoyance.

"Yeah, but you're not always with me!" he told her, his tone harsher than he intended.

"I could be! I should be! That stupid stick isn't going to tell you if there's something dangerous near you! It can't protect you!" she said, and Hiccup felt more and more angry. Why couldn't she be happy for him? Toothless whined and nudged his hand, but he ignored the dragon.

"Well, I don't always want you with me, Astrid! If I'm in calm places like the forest I don't need you to guide me! And I can take care of myself," he said as his hand clenched tighter around the cane.

"No you can't! You can't fight, you can't see things coming! And is that all I am to you? Something you need?! Someone to hold your hand and tell you where obstacles are?!" Astrid shouted angrily, and it only fueled his own anger. Didn't she trust him? A small voice in the back of his head told him he should calm down, that he should think about what he was saying, but he ignored it.

"I'm not useless! And no, I don't need you! I can walk by myself! I _want_ to walk by myself! This cane is better at guiding me than you ever were! At least it doesn't treat me like a baby!" he shouted as hard as he could. The little voice told him he should stop talking, but he shut it down.

"Maybe because you act like a baby, needing everyone to help you and pick things up for you! Just take your stupid stick, 'cause I'm done, Haddock! And when you get killed by an Outcast, don't come crying to me!" Astrid screamed, and Hiccup almost apologized when he thought he heard tears in her voice. But his anger was too great, still reeling from her insults. Before he could come up with something to say he heard her running away. He reached out with his cane, but he felt nothing but air. Another bout of fury flared up when he realized she was gone.

"Says the one who threw dragon fire in my face!" he yelled after her. Toothless crooned sadly and licked his hand, and suddenly the anger streamed away.

"Shit," he muttered. He shouldn't have said that last one. She had apologized for that, and he had forgiven her. That was in the past.

But what about the other things? Hiccup wasn't sure where the truth ended and the spiteful lie began. And what about the things she said? He took a deep breath before turning back towards Toothless.

"Come on, bud. Let's go to the cove and fly a bit there," he told the dragon, but he wasn't looking forward to it anymore. He tapped the cane in front of him as he moved through the forest, not wanting to think about the fact that he missed the feeling of scarred hands on his arm.

* * *

"That stupid boy!" Astrid shouted as she threw her axe into the target once again. "Thinking he's so great, thinking that just because he's got a stupid stick he can do anything!" she continued to rant, not caring that her father was right next to her.

"Is that what he said?" Tolfdir asked. Astrid glared at him as she walked to the other end of the arena to retrieve the axe. Why was he so calm about this? Her father used to hate Hiccup. He used to complain about his 'stupid machines' every day. After the Red Death he had changed his mind, and she was happy about that.

But now it just annoyed her. Why couldn't he just let her rant about Hiccup? Since when did he pick his side over hers? He was even worse than her mother, who kept telling her to ' _just talk to Hiccup, and it'll be fine!'._ Astrid had agreed to train with her father today to get away from her, but now she was just getting angrier.

"He said that he didn't need me anymore, that he could walk by himself now. And he was so… smug about it! Like he didn't care about me at all!" she said through gritted teeth, before throwing the axe again. Bulls-eye.

"What do you mean, smug?" Tolfdir asked in that way too calm tone of his, before throwing his axe right next to hers.

"He was saying it was the best thing that ever happened to him! And he was all 'Oh, this stick makes me stumble less than you do, even though you never make me stumble! It's the most amazing thing ever and I love it so much!'" she said, trying to imitate Hiccup's nasal voice as she pulled her axe out of the wooden target.

"So he's happy. Why aren't you happy for him?" her father asked as he walked past her to pull his own axe out of the target.

"Because… Because he was never that happy with me! He was just… he was praising that stick, and he just… I helped him for months with everything, and he never thanked me for that. And then he gets this stick and I'm discarded like a rusty weapon," she slowly said, trying to regain control over her anger. She just felt… used.

They hadn't talked or interacted for two full days now, and she suddenly realized how much time she normally spent with him. She walked with him when he needed something from the market, helped him in the forge, accompanied him on visits to the cove. And she had never minded that. She was happy to help, because Hiccup always seemed so happy when she was near. But now she couldn't stop wondering whether he was really happy. She wondered whether she was just a convenient chaperone, to be thrown away when he got a better one.

"He would never discard you, Astrid. The boy's crazy about you. Have you asked him why he likes that cane so much?" Tolfdir calmly asked as he walked back with his axe over his shoulder.

"He said it makes him stumble less. And that I can't always be with him. And that he doesn't even always want me with him!" she exclaimed, throwing her axe into the target again.

"Astrid. Imagine I'm an enemy. You just threw your axe into an attacker, but I'm charging. What do you do?" Tolfdir said, and before she could formulate a response he charged at her, his axe held high above his head. Without thinking she reached down to grab her dagger from her boot and used it to block his attack. The moment the blades connected her father pulled away, and she wondered what the point of that training exercise was. Weren't they talking about Hiccup?

"Good. You use your spare weapon. You should always have a spare weapon. And sometimes, your spare weapon is even better for some things than your favorite one," Tolfdir said as he pulled his own small knife out. As he finished talking, he threw the knife at the target, hitting it perfectly in the middle, far better than he had done with his axe earlier.

Astrid frowned, not understanding what her father was trying to tell her.

"Don't you think Hiccup feels happy and safe that he has a spare weapon now? With that cane he's not dependent on you anymore. Maybe in some ways it helps him even more than you do. But I seriously doubt it's his main weapon. Just like you can't always rely on your favorite axe, Hiccup can't always rely on you to accompany him," Tolfdir continued, and some of her anger disappeared. But it didn't excuse what he had said.

"But he didn't even want me to accompany him. I'm not his favorite 'weapon' anymore," she said as she looked at her dagger that Hiccup had made with her help. The memory hurt.

For the first time that day, her father didn't look calm anymore. He sighed deeply, looking tired.

"Astrid. Put yourself in his shoes," he started, and Astrid resisted to urge to correct him by telling him Hiccup only had one shoe. Gods, she was spending way too much time with him, his sarcasm was starting to rub off on her.

"Imagine that for some reason, Hiccup would always have to accompany you. Everywhere you go. Everyday, every time you step out of the house. No matter how mundane the task. You need to buy something? Hiccup has to come. You want to visit a friend? Hiccup has to come. You need to take a bath? Hiccup has to come. You want to train by yourself in the forest? Bad luck, Hiccup has to accompany you. Wouldn't you hate that, no matter how much you like him?" he lectured, and she recognized the stern tone. The tone he always used when he tried to teach her something important. That tone that commanded respect and obedience.

"Probably," she said through gritted teeth, seeing where he was going with this.

"That's how Hiccup feels. Hiccup craves freedom, I can see it. But he's shackled, defenseless against his own disability. Imagine if I took your axe from you. Wouldn't you be happy if you get any weapon back, even if it's not your favorite axe? There are so many things he cannot do anymore. He's just happy he got some capability back," Tolfdir said, and Astrid's anger started to lessen. Maybe she had been too harsh on him. He was so hurt, so disabled, that she couldn't even begin to imagine what his world looked like. Maybe that cane meant something different to him than she had thought.

She remembered when they had made that dagger. She had been so happy with it, she had run straight home to show it to her mother. _"Look at what Hiccup made for me!"_ she had called out to her. In hindsight it was embarrassing, but at the time she had just been so happy about the stupid dagger. She had told herself she would use it every day, but now she only used her trusty axe again. Maybe Hiccup had felt the same way about his cane, and she had overreacted.

"So, Astrid. What will you do to help your fellow soldier? Will you help him train with all of his weapons, or will you leave him alone to fight with a puny dagger?" Tolfdir asked as he threw his axe right next to his knife in the target.

* * *

Loud clanging rang out from the forge, but Hiccup didn't care that he was hitting the metal way harder than necessary. He didn't care that he needed Gobber's help to smith now. He really didn't care that he'd much rather have Astrid help him. Astrid made it pretty clear she didn't care about his happiness.

He didn't care about her at all.

Maybe if he told himself that often enough, he'd believe it.

It was stupid, but he had thought Astrid was different. That Astrid wouldn't think he was useless. Astrid was the one who had stood by him through the worst times. But to hear her tell him he couldn't do things by himself hurt. It hurt more than anything.

He still regretted some of the things he said. But he had been so angry and hurt he hadn't stopped to think about what to say. And now she was gone, and he had screwed everything up.

So all he could do was vent his frustrations on metal, so he hit the iron plate again, as hard as he could.

"You know, you don't have to hit it that hard, Hiccup," Gobber said, and Hiccup briefly paused his hammering to sigh.

"I know that," he answered, before smashing the iron again just as hard as before.

Gobber sighed loudly, before putting his hand on Hiccup's shoulder.

"Why don't you get out of here and find Astrid? I can see you miss her," Gobber said, and Hiccup lowered the hammer.

"I don't want to talk to her. And I'm sure she doesn't want to talk to me either," he said as he forced himself to calm down, using his dragonhide glove to feel the iron he was shaping.

"Dragoncrap. You're both miserable, and you should go and find her, because you two are making everyone else miserable as well with your moping," Gobber said, and Hiccup resisted the urge to start shouting. That's what got him into this mess.

"I don't need her," he said, trying to make himself believe it. It was true, strictly speaking. He could get basic tasks done by himself or with his dad's help. With his new cane and Toothless by his side he could find his way through the village without falling too much.

But it all felt… empty. He kept trying to turn to her, trying to tell her a joke or an idea for an invention, before remembering she wasn't there. It was true he didn't need her to survive. But he did need her for… fun things. To laugh and share things with. Things he couldn't share with Gobber or Stoick. Or even the dark things. Those moments when he felt scared and alone, when only Astrid could comfort him. What if she wouldn't want to hold him and talk him through them anymore?

"Maybe you don't need her. But you do want to be with her. So go out and do that!" Gobber said, clearly frustrated. Hiccup just shook his head as he turned the piece of metal around with his glove. The iron was misshapen and useless because of all his hammering.

"I don't want to be with her if she's just going to baby me. And she apparently doesn't trust me to do things by myself. She said she should be with me every time I go out! I don't want that! I mean, I do, but…" Hiccup put the hammer down and just buried his face in his hands for a moment.

"I want to _not need_ her. I just want to be able to do things by myself. And I want her to walk with me or help me, not because I need it, but because we both want each others company," he eventually said.

Gobber softly patted his shoulder. "I'm sure she wants that too. But… But I think she's scared. Don't tell her I told you this, but when you were unconscious after you lost your leg, Astrid sat beside you all the time. For weeks, she sat there every day. And she didn't want to admit it, but I know she was scared. She was terrified you were going to die. She wouldn't even let any of us feed you, afraid that one of us would do it wrong and you'd choke. So maybe she isn't really jealous, Hiccup. She's just scared that something's going to happen to you and she won't be there to stop it," the blacksmith said.

Hiccup put his hands on the anvil, considering Gobber's words. He hadn't thought of it like that. It was hard to think of Astrid as scared. Now he felt bad for saying all those things to her. Maybe… Maybe he should have asked her why she didn't like the cane. Maybe he shouldn't be so angry at her for looking out for him. Maybe he should have explained why the cane helped so much.

Maybe he should find her and apologize.

"Do you know where Astrid is now?" Hiccup asked as he threw the ruined piece of metal he was working on in the pile of scrap. Gobber laughed, before slapping his back very hard, making him fall over the anvil.

"Good lad! I think I saw her going to the arena earlier with Tolfdir. You'll probably find her there," Gobber said, and before he finished his sentence Hiccup was already out of the door, calling for Toothless to join him.

* * *

Astrid was just taking a break in her training when the sound reached her ears. She looked up from the dagger she was studying to gaze around the meadow, trying to figure out where the sound came from. It sounded like several men were walking through the forest in her direction, judging by the amounts of snapping branches and rustling leafs she could hear.

Slowly, she stood up and prepared herself to throw the dagger at the first enemy she'd see. Astrid cursed herself for going into the forest alone, but she had needed some time alone to think about her father's words. She had decided that she would go to Hiccup this evening and apologize.

But now, as the sounds came closer, she wondered if she'd ever see him again.

A shadow appeared between the trees on the other side of the meadow, and Astrid clenched the dagger tighter.

Suddenly the shadow jumped out faster than she expected. It pounced her, knocking the dagger out of her hand before… licking her?

"Wait up, Toothless! Where did you go?" Astrid recognized the nasal voice, and realized that it was Toothless who was licking her face. She pushed the dragon away and stood up just in time to see Hiccup walk into the meadow, his cane tapping the ground in front of him.

"Hiccup? What are you doing here?" she asked as she scanned for other enemies, adrenaline still flowing through her veins.

Hiccup jumped and nearly stumbled, but Toothless caught him in time, pushing him back to his feet.

"Astrid! I-I thought you were at the arena! I mean… I was just…" Hiccup looked extremely flustered, but before she could say anything he walked towards her before holding out a bundle of flowers.

Astrid's first thought when she saw the bouquet was that it was an insult. It was the ugliest bunch of flowers she had ever seen. Half of them looked dead, petals all black and brittle. The rest was a horrific mix of bright orange flowers which clashed horribly with some purple berries included in the bundle. She saw grass and… were those nettles?

She was so stumped by the bouquet she was stunned into silence, and Hiccup began to talk again.

"I know you don't like flowers, but I wanted to give you something, and I couldn't make anything in the forge without your help, so I went here to pick flowers. I-I wasn't expecting to run into you, I was going to ask your mom what flowers you'd like, and then find you at the arena, but now you're here, and I might as well give them to you, and I hope you like them even though I'm not sure if they're pretty or not, since Toothless can't really tell me, and…"

Hiccup rambled on, his face bright red, and Astrid's irritation disappeared. Sure, the flowers were ugly, but the whole thing was just so… Hiccup she couldn't help but smile.

"They're great," she said as she took the flowers from him, careful not to touch the nettles. She'd probably throw them away later, but she appreciated the thought. At least her mother hadn't seen them, she'd never hear the end of it.

Hiccup smiled, but immediately used his free hand to scratch his hair, something she recognized as a sign he was nervous.

"I'm… I'm sorry for yelling at you. And for saying those bad things," he said, bowing his head to the ground.

"I'm sorry too. And I shouldn't have walked out on you," Astrid said, before pulling him into a hug. At first he was stiff, but after a second he relaxed in her arms.

"Can we talk about it?" he asked, his voice soft and nervous. She just smiled and pulled out of the hug before grabbing his hand.

"I was just about to ask," she said as she led him to a nearby log and sat him down. He still had the cane in his left hand, but didn't use it.

"Why were you so happy with the cane?" Astrid asked as she sat down next to him.

Hiccup took a deep breath, clearly thinking of how to say it. Toothless laid down in front of them, putting his head on Hiccup's lap.

"Do you know that feeling when you climb stairs, and you think there's another step at the top? But there isn't, you're already at the top, and you step on nothing but air? Or when you walk down some stairs and you step on the ground, expecting another step? That weird feeling in your stomach, when you need a second to catch your balance?" he eventually said, clearly thinking hard about every word.

"Yeah," Astrid, remembering a time when she fell at the doors of the Great Hall because of that feeling. She hated that.

"That's… That's what I feel every day. Every time there's a small step, a rock, a slightly higher or lower road tile than I'm expecting, I feel that. Because I can't see the ground, and the fake leg isn't helping either. I feel it even when you or Toothless or someone else helps me. It's something you can't help me with. The difference in height is too small for you to even consciously notice," Hiccup explained as he softly tapped the ground in front of him with the cane, narrowly missing Toothless.

"But… But when I got the cane, I could feel that. Astrid, I could _feel_ the height of the ground in front of me! And that day… That was the first day in a long time I didn't feel that stupid feeling. That's why I was so happy. It was such a relief, and… and I thought you'd be happy for me too," he continued, his voice becoming softer near the end.

Astrid felt horrible that she had been so angry at him, that she had been so jealous of the cane.

"I… I thought you wanted to replace me. I thought that… that I was just a convenient chaperone, but that you'd rather have the cane than me," she admitted, grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

"No! No, I would never want you to… I know I said some bad things, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't mean them. Not really. What I meant was…" Hiccup exclaimed, turning towards her.

"It was… I just… I felt capable. I felt so damn strong for once. I hadn't stumbled all day, and then… Then you said I… I couldn't have that. Or at least, that's what it sounded like to me. It felt like you were trying to force me back into a… a cage or something. It's just… I want you beside me, really, I do! I just… I don't want it to be because you have to help me. I just… I want to walk _with_ you, not because of you!" he said loudly, and Astrid didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. How could she have been angry at him? How could she have doubted him?

"I didn't mean to do that, Hiccup. I just… I'm just nervous about you. Remember that time just before you showed me Toothless? You nearly walked off a cliff. You would have died there if I hadn't been there to pull you back! And the last time you… left me behind… you lost your leg. I'm just afraid that you go out and… fall or get hurt or kidnapped or something, and no one's there to help you," she slowly said, squeezing his hand a little harder.

"But couldn't those things happen to you as well? You could fall and break your leg when training in the forest? Outcasts could attack you as well. So should I always be with you as well?" he asked, and she frowned. She wasn't as defenseless as him!

"But if I break my leg, I still have my other one. And I've got my axe to fight off Outcasts. You can't defend yourself," she said, and he sighed.

"Can't I? I was thinking earlier that maybe I can modify this cane. Maybe add a hidden blade or something. I could press a button and it would become a spear or a sword. That would surprise an attacker long enough for me to have a fighting chance, even if I can't see them," he said, tapping the cane on the ground again. Toothless lifted his head from Hiccup's lap to look at the cane, softly batting at it a moment later.

Astrid had her doubts about this plan, honestly. But maybe she should let Hiccup show her his plans first. Maybe they could make it together. And then they could train together.

"Maybe when we get back we can talk more about it, and I'd be happy to give you some combat training," she said, before leaning in a little closer.

"But I think you said before that we'd go riding on Toothless together. So shall we do that first?" she asked him, and Toothless made a happy warble. Hiccup just smiled as he stood up from the log.

"So we're good?" he asked, uncertainty still lingering in his voice.

"We're good," Astrid said, before swiftly kissing him. When she pulled away he had that stupid grin on his face he always had after a kiss, and she knew they were good. She grabbed his hand, and they started walking towards the cove, Hiccup tapping the ground in front of him.


	5. Dark Days, Bright Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all scars are physical, and not all pain comes from visible wounds. Hiccup has become more anxious and nervous since he lost his sight. After all, when you're blind, you have a lot more to be afraid of. Thankfully, Astrid learns how to care for Hiccup when the demons in his head are too much for him.

Hiccup didn't run anymore.

Astrid sometimes forgot that. He was so energetic and happy it would slip her mind that he had to tap his cane for every step, had to balance his metal leg on the ground that was often so slippery in Berk. So sometimes she runs ahead, only to look around to see him desperately try to keep up, even his fastest speed barely more than her normal walking pace.

She didn't mind it. Hiccup can't keep up with her speed, so she slows down. She'll walk back and grab his hand, and they'll take it slow. They've got time.

He still has loads of energy, though. Astrid sometimes feels like the slower he's forced to walk, the faster his mind works. That's one thing she can never keep up with. He's so damn bright that often she barely understands what he's saying.

Thankfully he's always willing to slow down his mental pace, grab her hand and explain things in a clearer way. Still, she can see that, even while he's explaining one thing, part of his brain is already thinking about another problem.

His mind creates some incredible things too. Every day he has new ideas to help the Berkians. Machines to make work easier, new designs for ships and fishing nets, one time he even figured out a way to calculate the length of a slanted roof from the height and width of the house. While physically he's barely able to participate in many of the exercises of the Dragon Academy he leads, mentally he's the most productive Viking on the island. It seemed like losing the ability to see the world as it is gave him the clarity to envision the world as it _could be_.

Every Thorsday the village council would meet up in the Great Hall to discuss all current issues and problems. Food stocks were counted, judicial disputes and arguments were resolved, and trade agreements were evaluated. It often took all day, and traditionally the middle of the meeting, around lunchtime, was marked by the 'open floor'. During 'open floor' all Vikings, not just the ten council members, could offer suggestions, make pleas or speeches, or bring up a topic for discussion.

These days, 'open floor' had an unofficial starting part: Hiccup presenting his latest invention. While most villagers rarely participated, usually only raising an issue once every few months, Hiccup and she would appear every time to show what they build this week to help Berk.

It wasn't always appreciated. Some people grumbled about it, complaining that Stoick gave his son too much speaking time. Hiccup never seemed to care, remaining cheerful and optimistic even in the face of bad jokes about his blindness or thinly veiled contempt from the more conservative members of the council.

Like today. They were walking into the Great Hall, Astrid carrying the two model cranes they had made together the day before. 'Open floor' was about to begin, and the crowd parted to let them through, not in the mood to argue with them going first.

Astrid carefully placed the cranes on the central table, putting a few weights next to them, while Hiccup prepared to speak.

"Hello everyone! I noticed that the harbor crane is getting a bit old, so I designed a new one that can bear much more weight and is easier to use. This one…" Hiccup moved his hands to the models on the table, examining them.

"No wait, this one. Sorry!" he said as he moved his hands to the other model, a blush appearing on his face.

"This one is a model of our current crane. It can carry reasonable loads, enough to unload fishing boats, but when we try to lift too much..." Hiccup said as Astrid hooked one of the weights to the hook dangling from the crane's arm. When it was connected, she patted his shoulder, the signal that they had practiced, and Hiccup used his nimble fingers to turn the small wheel at the base of the crane to lift the rope. Astrid looked at the council members observing the crane straining to lift the load. Some of them looked bored, while others, notably the fishermen and traders, looked interested.

For a moment it seemed like the rope would hold, but when the weight was lifted about halfway up there was a loud crack, followed by the arm of the crane breaking off and crashing to the tabletop.

"Now imagine if there had been people under there…" Hiccup said ominously as Astrid connected an even heavier load to the other tiny crane. This one was much more complicated, using pulleys, levers and gears to make the load much easier to lift. Astrid had laughed when Hiccup told her tying the rope around a wheel would make something seem lighter. It sounded ridiculous, it still weighed the same, didn't it? But then he'd built a pulley, and she had marveled at the ability to lift a whole box of rocks without breaking a sweat.

"Now my new crane..." Hiccup said as he gestured at the other model, nearly knocking it over in the process. "It's the same size, but it can lift much larger weights at a fraction of the power required."

Hiccup moved his fingers to the wheel at the bottom and turned it quickly, making the large iron bar quickly rise into the air. Two council members gasped, while one whispered "Sorcery."

Astrid just smiled, proud of Hiccup for doing the presentation so well. Even though he couldn't see the little models, he handled them better than she could. His eyes might be gone, but he could visualize things just as well with his hands, and his fingers were much more nimble than her scarred hands. It felt embarrassing sometimes, when she couldn't even tie a knot because of the scars, but then she'd hand the rope to Hiccup he'd do it blindly in two seconds flat.

In moments like these Hiccup reminded her of the dwarves in her mother's tales, who forged the magical armor and weapons of the gods. In moments like these he looked a lot like his father, confident in his ideas and inventions.

Unfortunately, not everyone had so much faith.

"Why would we need this new crane? We've never had problems with the old one," Spitelout asked, frowning at the model. Before Hiccup could respond, someone else spoke up.

"How much wood would we need to build this thing? That's a lot of wood that we can't use for other things, like ships or houses," Yakbrain the Shipwright stated, gesturing at the many gears and intricate parts in Hiccup's crane.

"Won't it require more maintenance? Those are a lot of parts that could jam or rot," Phlegma the Carpenter asked, and more council members started looking doubtful.

"No, because the weight is distributed, they actually won't decay as quickly. And we can modify the old crane without needing that much new wood," Hiccup said, and Astrid saw small cracks appearing in his confident facade. She doubted the others noticed, but she could see the signs. The way his hands started shaking slightly, and the fact that his head bowed downwards slightly.

"Still, those are a lot of gears and wheels that have to be added, and I don't think you can make them magically appear, can you boy?" Yakbrain said, and Astrid wished she could grab his hand in front of the council, since that would calm Hiccup down.

"Yes, but it's an investment! With this we could lift much larger cargo! Maybe in the future we'll import different kinds of metal or weapons, then we might need a crane like this to lift it!" Hiccup argued, but Astrid saw that they were losing this one. Most of the council looked unconvinced, gazing doubtfully at the new crane.

"Maybe? In the future? Might? Those are a lot of suppositions with nothing to back it up. I think you're unable to look at the realities of the world we live in, boy. It might look great in your head, but this thing is useless. I have to vote no," Yakbrain said, and six other members followed his example. Only Gobber and Njorda the Fisherwoman voted in favor. Seven to two, the crane wouldn't be built.

"Sorry son. I like this thing, and I think it's clever, but I don't think we need it yet. Maybe when we need to repair or replace the old crane we can look at it again, okay?" Stoick said to conclude the vote, and Hiccup merely nodded, seemingly not caring. Astrid could see right through it, though, and she knew what would come in a few minutes.

So she grabbed the two cranes, holding the splintered remains of the first one under her arm, and took Hiccup's hand to lead him out of the Hall. Along the way she squeezed his hand, trying to let him know without words that everything would be okay.

She hoped it would be enough, but she doubted it.

"They didn't hate it. They just want to wait a little before building it!" she told Hiccup as they descended the stairs, but it didn't seem to cheer him up. He was still keeping up the facade, but she knew what was happening underneath.

Hiccup was blessed with a brilliant and quick mind, but at times like this it was a curse. That brain never stopped thinking and analyzing whatever it encountered, which currently was Yakbrain's remarks at the assembly. Hiccup was thinking about every word he said, analyzing, over-analyzing, and obsessing over it. She knew that she couldn't stop it anymore, all she could do was help him when the process would reach its inevitable conclusion in a few minutes. All she could do was get him to a place where they'd be alone.

They remained silent as they walked to Hiccup's house, and Astrid was glad that Stoick wouldn't come home until evening. Plenty of time to calm Hiccup down.

Hiccup started muttering as they entered the house and started climbing the stairs. Astrid couldn't hear everything, but she caught words like 'useless', 'stuck in my own head', 'can't look at real world', and she recognized terms Yakbrain had used. The shipwright probably didn't know what his words did to Hiccup, but right now Astrid wanted to punch him for it. But she couldn't, Hiccup needed her right now.

It was so easy to forget it sometimes. He often seemed so confident and forward in public, joking about his scars and disabilities and refusing help or pity, that it was hard to remember that underneath was an insecure blind boy who had been through more shit in his sixteen years than most people went through in their entire lives. She was rudely reminded of that, as Hiccup pulled her against him in a tight hug as soon as she had put down the little cranes.

At times like this, everything was just a little too much for him. The phantom pain from his leg, the stumbling, the embarrassment when he fell in public, bad jokes from other Vikings, pranks that only the twins thought funny. Hiccup always seemed to take it in stride, laughing it off and doing his best to look unaffected. But Astrid knew it didn't bounce off him. He absorbed the pain and embarrassment, keeping it deep inside until it was too much and he'd break down.

These episodes were irregular and unpredictable, often with no clear cause. Sometimes he didn't have them for weeks, sometimes he had multiple in one day. He was terribly embarrassed to even have them, and refused to show it to anyone. Only she and Toothless were allowed to see them. And that was because he needed them to recover.

Astrid didn't think she ever consciously made the decision to be with Hiccup. At some point it just became a given, and she wouldn't have it any other way. She knew it would be difficult, though. She knew that he'd need help, that she had to give up on some dreams and learn to deal with things she'd never prepared for.

But the bottom line was simple. Hiccup couldn't see. She wanted to be with Hiccup. Those were facts that she would do her best to deal with.

So she learned. She learned not to nod or shake her head to answer his questions, but to verbalize her answers. She learned how to guide him as efficiently as possible, she learned not to get in his way. She learned how to cook and make food he could eat without making a mess. She learned to get used to the fact that his head never really faced her. She learned how to read his emotions when the blindfold covered most of his face.

And over the past few months, she learned how to deal with Hiccup's breakdowns. 'Dark days', she called them. They never talked about it, the fact that she'd let him hold her for hours was a given that required no discussion. Astrid hated the fact that they were frequent enough that she had learned what worked and what didn't, what words would help him get through them, and which attempts at encouragement only increased his distress.

So she used her expertise to help him as best she could. She held him as tightly as possible, letting him know that she wasn't going anywhere. After Toothless had put their wings around them both, she started whispering words into his ear.

"It's okay, it'll pass. I'm right here, and so is Toothless. Let it out, let it all out. You're doing great, and this doesn't make you weak. One day we'll build that crane. Next week we'll show those stupid Vikings something else brilliant. What does Yakbrain know anyway?" on and on she'd whisper. Astrid wasn't sure if he listened to everything, but even the sound of her voice seemed to calm him a little.

He'd cry. His eyes were too damaged to produce tears, but she felt him sobbing and shaking. Sometimes she'd cry too, overwhelmed by Hiccup's sadness.

Sometimes it only takes a few minutes for him to calm down.

Sometimes it takes a few hours.

No matter how long it takes, Astrid is willing to endure it. There were worse places to spend time than in Hiccup's arms, though the situation is far from romantic. This wasn't about romance. It was about helping Hiccup with his struggles, both physically and mentally. Astrid was fairly certain most Vikings thought they were just making out in these private moments, and they were happy to let them think that. Hiccup's moments of vulnerability are for her eyes only, and if she has to endure some wolf whistles, she'll gladly do it.

So Astrid prepared herself for another long, dark day, and held Hiccup a little tighter.

* * *

It was dark. So incredibly dark. Hiccup was used to darkness, but this darkness felt different somehow. He sensed that there were things in the darkness, monsters about to devour him, and he'd never see them coming.

Suddenly, just when he was sure the darkness was going to crush him, a light appeared in the distance. His eyes strained, trying to see what the bright yellow light was. Growls rang out from the dark mist around him, and then he was running towards the strange light.

Something told him this wasn't right, that he was forgetting something, but he couldn't figure out what. Another growl echoed in the black room and he ran even faster. Suddenly he fell, and in the faint light he saw his left foot was gone. The leg was bloodied and burnt, and without warning massive pain shot through his body.

He screamed, and the growling became louder. Black arms appeared from the dark fog around him and tried to grab him, but Hiccup crawled away, breathing quickening. The room seemed to become hotter and hotter, and his hands became slick with sweat. Then the arms were gone, and he was alone.

Where moments before he wished nothing more than to have the monsters disappear, now the empty silent darkness was scaring him. More pain shot up from the foot that wasn't there, and he screamed again.

No monstrous growls rang out this time, the echo of his screams the only thing in the black room apart from the light in the distance.

Hiccup curled into a ball and tried not to whimper. Suddenly the shadows changed, and he looked up to see the bright light coming closer.

"Hiccup?" Astrid's voice rang out, and the light became dimmer until he could see it was her golden hair shining as bright as he remembered it. He tried to speak, but he felt frozen in place, unable to move from his curled up position.

"Hiccup, are you okay?" Astrid asked as she came a little closer and reached out her hand, but when Hiccup tried to move his arm to grab it she moved away again. Hiccup stood up, balancing on one leg, as Astrid moved backwards away from him. The light became dimmer and dimmer, and a large area of nothingness appeared between them.

"Wait! Help!" he shouted, hopping forward in a vain attempt to chase her, but she moved too fast.

"Hiccup! Wake up!" Astrid said, but it made no sense.

Suddenly he stepped on nothing at all, and he started falling into an endless pit. He screamed, flapping his arms as he tried to grab something to hold on to.

"Hiccup!" Astrid screamed after him, but he couldn't say anything back. There was a loud growl, and he knew the Red Death was waiting for him at the bottom of the pit, eager to devour him. The light disappeared, and suddenly he was stuck in some kind of soft wrapping.

"Hiccup! Wake up! Wake up!" Astrid was saying, and he struggled against his prison, trying to stop the monster from eating him alive.

"Hiccup! Calm down, I'm right here! I'm right here! It's alright!" Astrid said, and then his hands were grabbed and help in place. He recognized the hands that held him. He'd recognize Astrid's scars anywhere. But why was she being eaten too? But if she was here, was he safe? Did she slay the monster? But where was the light? Why couldn't he see her golden hair?

"It was just a nightmare, Hiccup. You're alright. Just calm down. It's alright. I'm here, I'm here," Astrid continued to say, and he shook his head, utterly confused. Suddenly his back was lifted from the soft surface he was lying on and then he was enveloped in warmth.

This was Astrid. It was Astrid. Astrid was hugging him. He was safe. He was safe. Slowly, Hiccup's thoughts started to calm down and make sense. He was in his bed. Astrid was holding him, telling him he was safe. It was just a nightmare. Just another nightmare.

Toothless warbled and licked his hand, and he forced himself to relax.

"Astrid? Toothless?" he managed to ask.

"Thank Nótt, you're awake! I couldn't get you to wake up from that nightmare! You were screaming and thrashing, and I didn't know what to do!"Astrid said, and he hated himself for making her worry so much.

"I'm sorry, Astrid, I'm sorry!" he said, and she removed one arm from their embrace to punch his arm.

"Don't apologize! I'm the one who should be sorry, I wasn't here! Toothless had to get me, he was so worried, I've never seen him so frantic!" she said, and he only felt more guilty. If only he wasn't so weak…

He couldn't finish the thought because pain ran up his left leg, and he groaned.

"Hiccup, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Let me make a light," Astrid said as she put him back on the bed and moved away. He tried to respond, but then another knife shot through his left foot, and he bit his lip to prevent himself from screaming. Toothless warbled sadly before licking the side of his face, and he reached out his hand to pet him.

Sounds of flint and sparks echoed in the room, and moments later Astrid returned, putting her hand on his shoulder. He kept some candles in his room for Astrid's sake, for when they were working late. Hiccup hadn't expected to need them in such a situation.

"That's better. Now what's wrong?" she asked, rubbing his shoulder through his shirt, and he took deep breaths, trying to ignore the pain.

"Leg. Leg that isn't there," he said, before groaning when more pain shot through him.

"Oh. Can I do anything? Do you need ice? Warm water? Tea?" Astrid asked, and he could hear the panic in her voice. This wasn't the first time he had phantom pains. She had helped him several times already when he had this stupid pain from something that wasn't even there anymore. That was the annoying thing. You can't numb the pain from something that doesn't exist. So ice or warm water didn't really do anything.

So he just shook his head, before thinking of something that would help. He hated to admit it to her, but now, in the dead of night, he figured he didn't have much to lose.

"Can you… Can you just hold me for a while? And talk to me? Distract me?" he softly asked, bowing his head. He hated being this dependent on her. He hated that he was robbing Astrid of her sleep. He hated that his body was determined to make him hurt so much, and he hated Nótt, the god of sleep, for sending him all those nightmares.

"Of course," Astrid said, and then he was lifted up again, before being set on her lap.

"There we go, it's alright. It'll pass, it'll pass," she said, and he felt like a small child again, being comforted by his dad after he broke his leg trying to climb a tree. It felt unfair, unequal. He was supposed to take care of Astrid, not the other way around.

But before he could voice any of that, his foot figured he wasn't in enough pain, and decided to remedy that. He put his arms around her to prevent him from collapsing, and she just sighed.

"It hurts really bad, doesn't it? Is this why you had that nightmare?" she asked, and he shook his head.

"Maybe. I also have nightmares when the leg's fine," he whispered in her ear, and he felt her stiffen.

"You had more nightmares?" she asked, her voice low. He hadn't told her how bad it was, but when he was in her arms like this he just couldn't lie.

"Yeah. I have them a lot. Nearly every night," he admitted, and she held him tighter.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she softly asked, and he hated himself for making her worry even more.

"Because you already have to comfort me by day. I don't want you to worry at night as well. You need your sleep," he said, and she punched his arm.

"So do you! You have them every night?! So that's why you're so tired in the morning?" she angrily said, and he tried his best to calm her.

"It's not that bad! Toothless comforts me, and my dad seems to sleep through all the noise," Hiccup said, but it only made it worse.

"Noise? You mean screaming? I just saw and heard you, Hiccup, and you were not okay! You should have told me! I could have helped you with this!" Astrid said, and he just nodded.

"I know, But I just-" Hiccup couldn't finish the sentence when pain overwhelmed him again. He held her a little too tight, and she groaned too.

"We'll talk about this later. So what do you dream about? Your leg?" Astrid asked, voice softer now.

"Sometimes. Tonight I did. Often it's stupid stuff. I dream that I trip over something I missed with the cane. Or I fall over the edge of a cliff. Sometimes we're walking together, but then you're suddenly gone and I can't find you again," he admitted and she pulled them apart a little, probably so she could see his face.

"That's not stupid, Hiccup. It's… I dream those things too. Sometimes I dream that you fall and I can't catch you, or that you're burned again. Sometimes I dream of the Red Death, and how it almost killed us," she said, before running a hand over the scars on his face.

"Really? I thought you were too brave for nightmares," he said, hoping the joke would stop the pain from coming back.

Astrid snorted and Toothless warbled, and then she hugged him again. "You're just as brave as I am. Maybe we all have nightmares, but you had the courage to face them alone. But… just remember that you don't have to. If there's another scary dream, just send Toothless, and I'll be right here, okay? I don't mind, really. Knowing you're okay makes me feel better too. Okay?" she said, and he tried not to cry. What had he done to deserve her?

"Okay. And… I know you'll have to go back to your own bed soon, we don't want our parents to find you in my room, but… can we stay like this for a little longer? Until the pain passes?" he softly asked, and her only response was to hold him a little tighter.

So they sat for a while. Astrid talked about what they could build for next week's council, telling him of sea dragons tearing fishing nets, and that maybe they could design stronger ones. He didn't really respond, but her voice kept him distracted from the pain. Somehow, being surrounded by Astrid's arms and Toothless' wings made all his problems seem so much smaller. Not just when he had a breakdown during the day, but after a nightmare in the dark as well.

He couldn't explain why that was. She just made him feel safe and calm. She slowed down his racing thoughts and allowed him to simply focus on her voice and her hands. He didn't know what he'd do without her, and he felt like a fool for ever fighting with her.

"I love you."

He hadn't planned to say the words, but here, in Astrid's arms, they appeared without warning. He just knew it was the truth. And now it was out. Strange how the darkness gave him the courage to say what he had never dared to confess. Long ago, before dragon training and the blindness, he thought he loved her. But in hindsight it was just a stupid crush. Only when they started spending time together did he see the real Astrid, the beautiful person underneath the glowing hair and pretty face he had always admired from afar.

Astrid immediately stopped talking and moved out of the hug to face him.

"Hiccup, what-" she began, but he didn't let her finish.

"I love you. I love you, Astrid. I know it may seem silly, and maybe you don't feel the same way, but you just make me feel so strong, and so capable, and so happy, and I don't know what I'd do without you, and-"

"I love you too," Astrid interrupted his rambling, and he froze.

"You… You love me too?" he asked, hoping and praying he heard it correctly.

"Yes, silly, I love you. Why else do you think I'm out here in the middle of the night?" she said, and he laughed, unsure what to say. So he just grabbed her head, and very gently pulled her lips to his. It was hard to kiss her without knowing where her lips were exactly, but somehow he managed.

They had only been kissing for a few seconds when Toothless suddenly forced his head between them, pulling them apart. He warbled loudly, and Hiccup laughed, too happy to be irritated.

"Yes Toothless, I love you too! But I'm not kissing you!" he said. Moments later the dragon licked his lips, and Hiccup recoiled.

"Toothless! Gross! Only Astrid's allowed to do that!" he told the Night Fury, and Astrid laughed.

"Is your leg okay again?" she suddenly asked, and he realized it didn't hurt anymore.

"Yeah. Better than ever. Thanks for staying," he said. A small part of him wanted to lie so she would stay for longer, but they shouldn't push their luck. It would be bad if his dad found them like this.

"You'll be fine tonight? I'll go home then. And just think of me if there are more nightmares. I love you, Hiccup," she said, swiftly kissing him before jumping up and blowing out the candle.

"Love you too. Sweet dreams," Hiccup said, and moments later he heard her softly land on the grass outside. He sighed deeply, before lying down again. Sleep overtook him quickly, and for the first time in months, there were no nightmares. Instead, he dreamed of Astrid and him dancing in a bright room.

* * *

Hiccup yawned as he walked down the stairs for breakfast. Astrid had done several other nightly visits since that first time a few weeks ago. He never asked for it. Toothless was the one who fetched her every time the dragon saw he was having a bad night. He kept apologizing for the fact that she was dragged out of bed, but secretly he was incredibly grateful. For the first time in forever, he didn't scream himself awake from a frightening nightmare.

For the first time in forever, his nights were bright again.

Even when she wasn't there he had something to remember her by. She started to make little braids in his hair, to 'remind him that she was a part of his life and him now', as Astrid put it. It felt embarrassing, Astrid braiding his hair, but it also felt comforting. And if he jumped awake during the night, he'd just run his fingers over the braids to remember that she was just a few houses away, and that he'd see her in the morning,

The only problem was that with the way they would talk and kiss for most of the night, he was hardly more rested when she came over. Nothing… dishonorable happened. They had decided, after a very awkward and embarrassing discussion, that they were both content to wait for a while, probably until they were married, before taking that step. Still, they kissed and held each other for hours, and he was glad his father wasn't aware of what happened in his house during the night.

"So son, I noticed you're not having as much trouble sleeping. The nights are much quieter these past few weeks," Stoick said as Hiccup said down, and he froze. How much did his father know? Did he know it was because of Astrid? He cursed his hand for automatically moving to the two little braids and forced himself to relax.

"Yeah, it's much better now. I hope I don't wake you anymore now," he said, hoping that was the end of the discussion.

"Yes, that doesn't happen as much these days. So how did that happen, Hiccup? Did you and Astrid figure out some other brilliant invention to help you sleep?" Stoick asked, and Hiccup nearly choked on the water he was drinking.

"No! No it's… it's Toothless! He puts his wings over me, and it makes me feel warmer! And that makes me sleep better!" he said, laughing nervously.

"Ah, I see. That dragon's doing wonders for you. I could have sworn I heard talking coming from your room the other day, though," Stoick said with a curious voice, and Hiccup gulped, trying not to look guilty.

"Yeah, sometimes I talk to Toothless. It helps! Keeps me distracted, you know?" Hiccup said, desperately hoping his dad was done now.

"Alright then. If that works for you," Stoick said before standing up. "You can eat breakfast and go to the forge by yourself, right?" he asked, moving to the door when Hiccup nodded.

But just when Hiccup thought he was in the clear, Stoick started talking again from the doorway.

"You know son, it's okay that Astrid comes here at night, as long as there's no funny business, okay? The heir shouldn't have children out of wedlock," the chief said, and Hiccup choked on the bread he was eating. By the time he had spit it out and was able to respond, the door had already closed, and his dad was gone.

Hiccup groaned and covered his face with his hands. How long had his father known? What was he thinking? Had he told anyone?

"Dang it," he said and Toothless warbled happily. "You know, this is your fault! You're the one who keeps bringing Astrid here!" he told the dragon, trying to figure out if and how to tell Astrid what his father knew.


	6. Forgotten Sins, Forgotten Virtues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astrid's parents see their daughter grow closer and closer to the chief's son. While Kirsten is happy Astrid isn't so cold anymore, Tolfdir is nervous. He remembers the foolishness inherent in young love. They remember their own whirlwind romance, their perfect love shattered by a horrible event. But maybe, with Astrid finding love, they can find a way to heal as well.

"Bye mother, bye father!" Astrid said as she walked out the door with Hiccup, and Kirsten smiled when she saw their linked hands.

"Bye Astrid. Have fun!" Kirsten said as she grabbed a mug for tea.

"Don't have too much fun!" Tolfdir said from his seat at the table, and Kirsten saw Astrid's face redden before her daughter pulled the front door shut behind her, apparently pretending she hadn't heard that. She softly laughed to herself. Astrid liked to pretend she was so tough and strong, but it never got old to see her blush whenever she teased her about Hiccup.

It was the first time Tolfdir had said something like that, though.

"Was that a joke I heard, Tolf?" she asked as she grabbed the kettle. Her husband made a snorting sound.

"That wasn't a joke! I was deadly serious! I've seen the way they look at each other, and I figured I'd remind her that there are certain things they should wait for," he said, looking flustered.

"Oh, they're not that far yet, Tolf. You worry too much," Kirsten said, filling the kettle with water.

"I just… I don't want them to make the same mistakes we made. Especially since I'm not sure how long this relationship will last," he said, his voice soft. Kirsten frowned as she hung the kettle above the fire. What was this about?

"They're much, much smarter than we were at that age. And why would you think they won't stay together? They adore each other, even if they won't admit it to us," she said, sitting down opposite her husband.

"It's just… they're so different. Hiccup's qualities are not what I taught Astrid to value highly. I mean, he is pretty… damaged. What if the initial excitement fades away, and there's nothing that binds them anymore?" he said, and Kirsten saw her husband was seriously nervous.

"Tolf, have you even looked at them? Their relationship isn't build on _excitement_! Quite the opposite, they find safety in each other! They've had enough excitement for a lifetime, I think. Come on, I'll show you," she said, standing up again. She pulled Tolfdir from his seat and led him to the window overlooking the stable. Outside, Hiccup and Astrid were tending to Stormfly, Hiccup apparently explaining something about the saddle.

"Look at them, Tolf. They trust each other utterly and completely. They don't have secrets for each other, and they rely on each other. More than we ever did. That's a precious thing, Tolfdir, and we should cherish it, not doubt it," she told him as Hiccup grabbed Astrid's foot and lifted it into the stirrup, making her laugh when she nearly fell over. Kirsten suspected that even more happened between them. Little things Astrid said, concerned looks between them, and the fact that sometimes Astrid's eyes were red when she came home made Kirsten suspect that they weren't always kissing when they were alone. Astrid never said anything about it, and Kirsten knew enough not to ask, knowing some things should remain private.

Tolfdir remained silent, but she could see he was intently watching their daughter.

"And besides, people said the same thing about us. _'They're too different.', 'It's just a silly romance!',_ _'it won't last for more than a month!'_ Our parents certainly didn't approve," she said, chuckling as she remembered that time. Gods, they had been so stupid, but so in love.

Tolfdir laughed. "Oh, Freya, they nearly had a heart attack when I asked if I could marry you. My parents didn't trust you at all. They thought you were a heathen outsider. All I saw was my Danish princess," he said, grabbing her hand, and she smiled when she recognized his old title for her.

"Like I told you a hundred times, I wasn't a princess. I was the daughter of a minor count," she said, frowning when she remembered her youth in Denmark. It had been so different from Berk. She had servants, dresses, her own room in a stone castle. But the neighboring Vikings didn't like her father's new faith. They didn't approve of his talk of God and Christ, and were furious that he had dared to name his only child after this strange new god.

Then, one day it all fell apart. The castle's gates were opened by treacherous guards, and an army stormed in while they were sleeping.

Her father was killed, and she and her mother had only barely managed to avoid the same fate. It was Kirsten who had saved them by convincing the men to give them a ship and letting them sail away. In return they had to give up all their gold and other valuables, and promise to never return to Denmark.

So they sailed away, Kirsten, her mother, and a few sailors. Kirsten still remembered that terrifying journey over the open sea like it was yesterday, not knowing where they'd be accepted. Her mother cursed God for days, denouncing him for letting her husband die, and began to pray to Njord and Baldr once more, begging for a new place to call home.

Kirsten wasn't sure what to think about it. She had been raised by her father in the Christian ways, but her mother had told her the Norse legends and myths. When, after a storm, they washed up on Berk, they had worshiped the old gods again, or at least Kirsten pretended to. Her name became the only reminder of her Christian heritage.

"Count, king, chief, isn't it all the same? You were different, that's what mattered to me! All the other girls, they were talking about fighting dragons and wielding weapons. You on the other hand… You could sing and dance, and had stories of lands I couldn't even imagine," Tolfdir said, pulling her out of her thoughts. She giggled when she remembered that young boy, shyly asking her to dance with him one night in the Great Hall.

It had been hard, those first few months. They were stranded on a strange island in the middle of a war. Kirsten had never seen dragons in Denmark. She had never even held a weapon. Instead she had learned to sing, to tell stories, to be beautiful, to convince men using words instead of swords.

Skills that were thought useless in Berkian society. So she and her mother went to work in the Great Hall, cooking, setting tables, work that a month before she wouldn't even have considered doing. Mother never wanted to talk about Denmark, but Kirsten found that when they had something to drink, many of the men who had been so wary of them were now willing to listen to biblical stories and mainland songs.

And one of those listeners was just a young boy, not even a man yet. No older than fourteen, and she was barely a year older. A shy boy who didn't care much about fighting, who rather drank than trained, who rather cut down trees than dragons. He had changed so much in the last 18 or so years. They both had.

"I was hesitant at first, but you wouldn't give up. You were different from what I was taught. My father had always expected me to marry some neighboring ruler in a political marriage, and suddenly there was a silly boy who taught himself to dance and brought me flowers and gifts, all to impress me. And my father was dead, and I thought I could decide for myself who I'd marry," she said, and Tolfdir chuckled.

"Haha, Freya was playing with us, for sure. But then my father said he would never allow me to marry some 'foreign whore', as he put it, and your mom said something similar about me, right?" Tolfdir reminded her, and her smile fell. They had been such utter fools, completely under Freya's spell.

"So we took it into our own hands. Gods, we were fools. Remember when we made that decision, Tolf? We said 'we can force them to let us marry', and it was so easy to be convinced by you," she said, and he looked offended.

"Hey, don't put it all on me. You were plenty seductive yourself! You were the one who suggested it in the first place! Gods, we didn't think of the consequences. We just knew that if you got pregnant, they would have to marry us. Thor almighty, father was furious when I told him. I remember him telling us we would regret doing it. He was right, of course. We were impatient and blind. Still, we were married within a week. I just worry that Astrid and Hiccup might be considering the same thing," he said as he gestured to at their daughter climbing into the saddle, getting a little boost from Hiccup.

"Tolf, we did that because we felt like we had no other choice. Our parents didn't support our relationship. But we do support Hiccup and Astrid, don't we? That's part of the reason why I tease Astrid so much. I want her to know that I want her to get married to Hiccup. As long as we don't pressure them, they'll do things in their own time," She told him as she smiled at Astrid laughing at Hiccup's failing attempts to climb into Stormfly's saddle, unable to find the stirrup with his foot.

"Still, what if they… like each other a little too much? What if they can't wait for us to set up a contract?" Tolfdir asked, clearly nervous.

"Then we'll accept them anyway, and we'll marry them as soon as possible. They've been through enough that I think they deserve to have some fun without fear or shame. If they have premarital sex, so be it. I think they're smart enough not to do so, but I won't love her any less if she does do it," Kirsten said as she saw Astrid climb out of the saddle to give Hiccup a boost.

"I suppose I can do that, but… what about the gods? What if they do the same thing they did to us?" her husband asked, and she could hear the fear in his voice. Her own heart chilled as well when the memories came back. They were fools.

"I mean, when we were young… I didn't think it would be such a big deal, you know? I never cared that much for the gods, and I doubted Odin or Freya would really care if we did it before marriage. It didn't feel like… I think you called it 'sin'? Why would the sex life of two little humans matter to a god? But then…" Tolfdir said, before trailing off.

Kirsten sighed. Tolfdir had never really been able to talk about what happened. She hadn't talked about it either, hoping that if they never talked about her little boy, she'd forget the pain. But she knew now that it would never go away. Not really. So maybe they should talk about it.

"I suppose we didn't really realize we had made a little _person_. Initially, Erik was just a means to an end. A way for us to get married, and we didn't think it would change our life much. But then he was born, and we found we couldn't go dancing and drinking every day anymore," she said, looking at Astrid lifting Hiccup up easily and throwing him onto Stormfly's saddle, making both teenagers laugh.

"I didn't care about honor. I didn't care about the war. I didn't honor the gods, I didn't train for battle, I just wanted to have fun, and you and Erik brought me so much of that. Still, it was hard. We weren't ready to take care of a little boy. And then we were selfish…" Tolfdir slowly said, his voice trailing off at the end. Outside, Astrid climbed into the saddle in front of Hiccup. Kirsten sighed, before looking down at her feet.

They loved Erik with all their heart, but they were so tired after a few months. He cried all day, every day. And then one day, when he was finally asleep, they had decided to go to the Great Hall for an hour. Just to grab a drink. Maybe sing a few songs without fear of waking him up. Erik would be fine by himself, he slept easily and deeply.

One hour had become two, and one drink became half a dozen drinks. And then, the cheerful mood was interrupted by that dreaded horn blow.

Dragon attack.

Kirsten's mind had cleared immediately, and they had run home as fast as they could on unsteady legs. But when they came home, the house was ablaze. Tolfdir hadn't hesitated. The man who had never cared for battle was suddenly running straight into the burning house, yelling their son's name.

It had been too late. Minutes later Tolfdir stumbled out, burns all over his back, carrying a blackened bundle she couldn't even recognize as their beautiful little boy anymore. He hadn't been more than a few months old, and now he'd never grow up.

Something had broken in her then. Tolfdir had taken it even worse. The sweet playful boy he had been died with their son.

"I lost all my faith in God that day. I had always heard that God was loving and just. And I couldn't believe that a just God would kill an innocent baby to punish his parents for loving each other. You, on the other hand, became the most devout person on the island," she softly said, doing her best to stop the tears.

Tolfdir remained silent for a while, and Kirsten looked up again. Astrid, Hiccup and Stormfly were gone.

"I… Everyone had told me we would regret making Erik. That the gods wouldn't stand for it, and that I should regain my honor. And I never believed it. What did honor matter, when ale and song felt so good? But then, as I… held my little dead boy in my hands, I believed. I was so, so sorry. My actions had led to little Erik's death," her husband said, and she shook her head. She had tried so hard to convince him it wasn't his fault. Erik was killed by a dragon. But she had never been able to stop him blaming himself.

He had become quiet and hard. As soon as he recovered from the burns, Tolfdir had asked his brother Finn to train him to fight. He made countless sacrifices to the gods. He stopped drinking, and refused to sing and dance again. And she didn't dance anymore either. She still told and sang the legends of the gods for the other Vikings, but she didn't believe a word of it anymore.

The rest of Berk had avoided them after the raid. Before, they were the target of ridicule and gossip, but now they were just pitied, or people thought they had gotten their just punishment. Kirsten didn't care what they thought, she had been mocked since she had arrived on Berk. But Tolfdir had done everything he could to regain his honor, and she had let him. She thought it would help him accept Erik's death.

They didn't talk much during those first few months after Erik's death. Instead, Tolfdir spent time with Finn, and made a new friend.

They hadn't been the only one to lose someone in that raid. Stoick's wife, Valka, had been taken, and Tolfdir and the chief somehow bonded in their grief. That friendship might have been the only good thing to come from that raid.

"I begged the gods for a chance to set things right. I'll do anything, I said. Just give me my little boy back. And then, less than two weeks after Erik died, we found out you were pregnant. Another boy, I thought! The gods listened! But then…" Tolfdir finally said. Kirsten remembered being scared of the new child that grew within her. How could they protect it? What if it died too? She wouldn't have been able to take it.

Nine months later a healthy girl was born, who they called Astrid. But the birth had been hard and bloody. When it was all over and they were holding their beautiful baby, Gothi told them that there had been too much damage. Her womb would produce no more children.

"When we heard that you were… infertile, I thought it was a clear message from the gods. Astrid was our last chance to make things right. Our only chance. So I tried to raise her right. To teach her about honor and war, about loyalty and the gods. And I taught her to defend herself, so that she wouldn't have the same fate Erik had," her husband said as she led him back to the table.

Kirsten thought it would help him, and she thought it would be wise to raise Astrid that way. But over the years the doubt had set in. Astrid became angry and cold, especially after Finn died. She had wished Astrid would have a happier youth than she had had, but it became more and more likely she would never have any joy in her life.

Until Hiccup happened. And now the war was over because of them and their crazy relationship.

"In Denmark, the priests used to say that everything bad that happened was part of God's big plan. They said all the bad things would eventually lead to something good. I never believed it. What purpose could killing my father or Erik have? But now I wonder if it was all a plan anyway. Maybe He killed my father, so I would go to Berk. Maybe He killed Erik, so we would raise Astrid in this way. And then He blinded Hiccup, so he and Astrid would stop the war. Maybe it was His way of bringing peace," Kirsten said as she grabbed the kettle from the fire and poured a cup of tea.

Tolfdir chuckled. "Maybe, but I wonder why he couldn't just do it in an easier way. Why not just kill the Red Death by himself? He can do anything, right? Maybe it was simply our destiny, the strands of fate woven by the Norns without us having any choice in the matter. At least Astrid ended up alright. And… and Erik did die in battle. Maybe he's in Valhalla now," he said.

Kirsten smiled as she took the mug and sat down across from her husband. She doubted there was a Valhalla or a heaven, but it was nice to think that maybe Erik was still somewhere. She just wished he was here.

"In Denmark we didn't burn the dead on a funeral ship. Instead we buried them, and marked the grave with a stone. I often wish we did that here too. I wish we had something to visit to remember Erik," Kirsten said before sipping from her tea.

Tolfdir sighed deeply. "I don't understand burying the dead, but I wish there was something left of Erik. We don't even have any of his clothes or toys left, everything was burned in the fire," he said, and she sighed. There was no trace left of Erik now, nothing but memories.

"You know, I think we might be the only ones who still remember Erik existed. Our parents are dead, as are your brothers. People barely even remember we got married so young. It used to be such a big scandal, but now it's such a distant memory that they don't even remember the reason," Kirsten eventually said, and Tolfdir shook his head.

"Stoick remembers. But I don't think he ever told anyone about it," he said, before falling silent for a while. Kirsten drank her tea, lost in thought.

"Kirsten? Do you… Do you think we were right not to tell Astrid? Don't you think she should know that she had a brother? So that… when we and Stoick are gone, someone will know Erik existed? And then when… when she goes to Valhalla one day, she'll know to search for him there, and meet him?" Tolfdir said, and Kirsten frowned.

Once it seemed natural not to tell Astrid. She was too young! Why would she have to know? How could they tell her? What did it matter anyway? Those were the reasons they gave. But now… Astrid was strong. She could handle it. Maybe it was time.

"You're right, she deserves to know. She also deserves to know why we raised her the way we did. Shall we tell her tomorrow?" Kirsten said, and Tolfdir nodded. Maybe if their secret was passed on, they could move on too.

"Hey Tolfdir? Since Astrid isn't eating here tonight, I thought that maybe we could… go to the Great Hall to eat? And then stay for a while? Maybe we could even… Maybe we could dance again?" she hesitantly asked, hoping he wouldn't take it as a slight on his honor. It had been so long since they had sung and danced together.

Tolfdir took a deep breath, and Kirsten swore she saw his eyes become wet. Then he swiftly stood up and, without warning, grabbed her and put her over his shoulder. She screamed, surprised at his antics. He hadn't done something like this since Erik died.

Tolfdir walked out, Kirsten still over his shoulder, like he was kidnapping her. And as he took her out to the Hall for the first time in sixteen years, Kirsten finally dared to dream that maybe that the boy she fell in love with so long ago wasn't dead after all.


	7. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice sucks. It sucks even more when you can't see it. It's even more horrible if you have a metal foot with little grip. Add an overprotective father on top of that, and you understand Hiccup gets a bit antsy when he hurts his leg. Stuck inside, Hiccup might face his greatest challenge yet: Boredom!

As he fell backwards, Hiccup decided he hated winter.

One second, his metal foot was slipping on an unexpected patch of ice. The next, the back of his head hit the ground hard, making him black out for a moment. Fortunately for Hiccup, that meant he didn't feel the pain when his right leg hit the ground on a bad angle, twisting something inside.

Unfortunately for Hiccup, the fact that he started rolling a second later made him hyper aware of everything that happened. Including the pain that shook his right leg every time he landed on it while rolling down the hill.

Suddenly his descent took an unexpected turn when his metal foot got snagged on something. The sudden stop tore the prosthetic off his leg, tearing the skin of his stump open. A moment later, he landed in a big pile of snow, and he was thankful that the cold numbed the pain from his legs.

Hiccup waited until the worst of the dizziness was over before trying to sit up. A moment later he fell back down when his senses were overwhelmed with pain again. His head throbbed, his left leg seemed cut, and his right leg just refused to work. He was fairly sure it wasn't broken, but that was about the best thing he could say about it.

Hiccup groaned. It was strange. He had experienced this scenario countless times in his nightmares. Yet the real thing was even worse. Normally he would probably have noticed the patch of ice with his cane. But he was just going to the outhouse, and didn't think it was necessary to grab the cane. After all, he knew the hill like the back of his hand, and he had Astrid's marker stones to guide him.

Suddenly he felt very tired, and everything started to numb as his head throbbed worse and worse. Hiccup nearly gave into the sleep, before jerking up, realizing that if he fell asleep now, he probably wouldn't wake up. He had to get out of the snow, but he couldn't move by himself.

Swallowing his pride and hoping Snotlout wasn't the closest person around, he started yelling for help.

After a few screams, he took a moment to collect his breath. Slowly, he reached out his hand to his stump, confirming that the prosthetic wasn't attached anymore.

His hands started to shake when he felt something wet on the stump. Over the past few months he had become fairly good at identifying things based on their texture, and he was sure this was blood, not snow or water.

He was about to take off his blindfold to bind the wound when a loud warble rang out, and a moment later his face was licked by a familiar tongue.

"Toothless! Thank the gods! We gotta get me inside, bud. Can you help me?" he told the dragon, feeling calmer now that his friend was with him.

Toothless bit down on his torso with a toothless bite, grabbing him in his jaws. But the moment the dragon tried to lift Hiccup, pain rang through his legs, and he bit his lip to stop his scream.

"Wait, Toothless! Wait! This isn't gonna work, buddy. Can you get Astrid? Or my dad?" he groaned as Toothless released him again. Why did these things always have to happen to him?

Toothless warbled sadly, before running off. Hiccup focused on staying awake and moving as little as possible. He couldn't fall asleep, so he'd just think. How bad were his injuries? Hopefully he wouldn't lose another leg. He wished he could just look down and see his legs, and once again he cursed his blindness.

"Hiccup!" his father's voice rang through the air, and Hiccup used his last remaining strength to lift his arm, signaling his position.

"Hiccup! Are you okay?" Stoick asked, and Hiccup could hear the fear in his voice.

"I'm fine, dad. Just… sleepy, and my legs hurt…" he slurred as more weariness overwhelmed him.

"Okay son, let's get you inside, okay?" Stoick said, before grabbing his back and legs, and gently lifting him up. Hiccup heard Toothless' concerned warble next to him, and he reached out his hand to try and pet the dragon.

"My… my prosthetic. It's up there somewhere," he mumbled when he remembered the missing attachment, and he used one of his arms to gesture in the direction he thought was the hill.

"We'll get it later, son. Now just stay still and relax," Stoick said, and then sleep overwhelmed him.

* * *

"You just can't seem to catch a break, can you?" Astrid said as she looked at her boyfriend lying in bed, left leg bandaged, right leg in a cast. Another bright white bandage was wrapped around his head, creating an odd contrast with his red blindfold.

"It's not that bad," he said. "At least I don't have a concussion," he added after a moment of thought. The next second his face scrunched up and he squeezed her hand, and she knew he was in pain.

"Doesn't seem to make the cut there hurt any less, though," Astrid noted, and he shook his head, obviously trying to downplay the pain. He wasn't fooling her, though.

"Still, it's… impressive. You cut your head, sprained your ankle, and scratched open your left leg," Astrid said, trying not to show how shaken she was. This was the scenario she feared so much. Hiccup falling and injuring himself, without her with him to help.

"Thank you for summing that up," Hiccup sighed, before leaning back into the pillows a bit more. She felt bad for making light of his wounds, but also relieved his injuries weren't worse. He would probably be healed in about a week. And at least it hadn't triggered a dark day. Hiccup was just moody, not depressed.

Toothless warbled happily, before licking Hiccup's face. "Yeah, bud, you saved me! I survived the great trip to the outhouse! Another dangerous adventure completed!" Hiccup said, obviously trying to seem cheerful, but Astrid could see the pain underneath. She could feel it in the way he held her hand.

They had noticed very quickly that it was hard for them to share their feelings quickly. Hiccup couldn't see her face, and she couldn't see most of his, forehead and eyes covered by the blindfold. So they communicated through other means.

They didn't show their affection in public much. They hadn't kissed in front of other people since that very first kiss, and they couldn't exactly look lovingly into each others eyes like she had seen other couples do. But when they were together, they nearly always hands. Her left hand in his right, leaving both their dominant hands free, but their connected fingers wouldn't stay idle.

It's surprising how much information about someone's mood you can get just from holding their hand. When he was angry, Hiccup would clench all his fingers tightly, trying to form a fist. When he was sad, he'd hold on with just his index and middle fingers. When he was happy or energetic he'd constantly move his fingers like he was playing an instrument. And when he was about to have a dark day, he'd squeeze every few seconds and rub his thumb on the back of her hand. Astrid knew that she had similar tics, and that Hiccup read her hands like she read his.

They were trying to use it to communicate more complex things too. Drawing a circle on the back of the other's hand with a thumb meant "Can we go somewhere to be alone?". Astrid drew a cross if there was an obstacle coming up and Hiccup would have to step aside. Hiccup drew two parallel lines if he had a phantom pain.

A heart meant "I love you."

It was thrilling, having a secret code language to talk with, right in front of other people without them knowing. It was hard for her to identify his subtle finger movements on her scarred hands, but she learned.

And now that learning paid off, as even though Hiccup talked like he was cheerful and joking, his fingers in her hand told her he was frustrated and angry.

"Hey, at least you'll be healed in time for Snoggletog. Imagine if you had fallen two weeks later, you'd have missed it! And now you can just stay in bed instead of having to help with the preparations!" she said, hoping to cheer him up. But Hiccup just sighed.

"Stay in bed all day! Yay! So much exciting stuff is happening in my room!" Hiccup exclaimed sarcastically, and Astrid resisted the urge to punch him. He should be happy he would only be in bed for a week!

"At least you get to go out. My dad says he won't even let me out on crutches. And there's still some work I have to do at the forge, and I need to repair my prosthetic. It's all bend, see?" Hiccup said as he reached under the bed with his free hand and retrieved his fake leg, the metal end twisted where it had caught on a rock.

"We'll repair it together when you can actually walk on crutches. That should give you something to look forward to," she told him, rubbing the cast on his right leg.

"I can already do that! I can balance on my toes, that doesn't hurt that much! I just can't use my cane, but what's the worst that could happen?" Hiccup said as he put the prosthetic back down.

This time, Astrid did punch him. "You're seriously asking that while you're covered in bandages from falling on ice you didn't see?" she exclaimed. She admired his tenacity and refusal to let physical injuries hinder him, but now she was getting a little worried that Hiccup might be considering doing very stupid things. Like braving the icy roads of Berk by himself on crutches.

"Yeah, but… but I can't just stay inside forever, can I? I mean, you'll be helpful and productive and… and part of the village, and I'm just… sitting here," Hiccup muttered, and Astrid frowned. His hand produced more signals of frustration and anger, but he seemed more sad than angry.

"Look, Hiccup, I wish you could help too. But you can't right now, okay? Besides, you have helped plenty! This is the first time we'll celebrate Snoggletog with dragons, and that's because of you!" she told him as she squeezed his hand. Hiccup didn't say anything, but she felt him respond with a squeeze in return.

An "I know you're right, but I don't want to admit it out loud, so I'll just say it in this way"-squeeze. It made her smile.

"And at least you don't have to be in the kitchens all day! My mom is making me help her prepare the feast! It's so boring, I hate cooking! It's just waiting for stuff to boil or bake! And Stormfly isn't allowed inside!" she said, hoping her complaints would distract Hiccup from his own situation.

"Heh, can't you take me with me? Please? I can keep you company? I'll just sit there, maybe help with the cooking a little?" Hiccup begged playfully, but she could see he was hoping she'd say yes.

"No, you can't. There's no spare room for you to sit, and my mom loves you, but she'll kill you if you ruin a cake because you added salt instead of sugar or something," Astrid explained, even though she wished he could come. It would be nice to have Hiccup with her. His presence seemed to stop her mother's endless teasing slightly. And with the massive feast that was being prepared, it was unlikely she would get much time to visit Hiccup.

"Fine, I'll just stay here and sleep some more. But I'm warning you, we can't keep all this… raw… Vikingness… contained! Or there will be consequences!" Hiccup said as he flexed his arm, trying to look tough. It failed when he leaned back a little and hit his head against the headboard, eliciting another groan.

Astrid suppressed her laugh, before prodding Toothless. "Toothless, I've got a mission for you. If Hiccup tries to get out of that bed, you just sit on him, okay? Don't let him hurt himself even more," she told the dragon, sniggering at Hiccup's indignant "Hey!", followed by a sound of surprise when Toothless put his paws on Hiccup's belly, pushing him back into the bed.

"Whose side are you on here, bud?" Hiccup asked the dragon in an insulted tone, but Astrid knew that secretly he was grateful she was concerned for him.

His fingers told her so.

* * *

The moment Stoick walked through the front door and saw his son sitting downstairs he knew this was going to be a long day. And he had hoped for a quiet evening after all the commotion the twins had caused this afternoon.

Even after an hour of questioning, Stoick still didn't know why they thought replacing the bottles of honey with Monstrous Nightmare gel was a fun idea.

So Stoick wasn't in the mood for dealing with Hiccup as well. A Hiccup who seemed to be determined to ignore everyone's advice and orders, even though those orders were meant to keep him safe.

"Hiccup. What did I say about going downstairs?" Stoick asked as he moved across the room and grabbed a mug.

Hiccup jumped to his feet. Well, foot. His prosthetic was still broken, and Stoick winced when he saw his son's left leg simply… end below the knee. He was precariously balancing on two crutches and the toes of his right foot, barely sticking out of the cast around his ankle.

"Uh, you said I wasn't supposed to use the stairs unless you were home," Hiccup said sheepishly, but Stoick could see he wasn't sorry.

"Exactly. And when I left you were still upstairs. Now you're here. So what did you do?" he asked, wanting Hiccup to admit he disobeyed his orders.

"I went down the stairs. But Toothless was right there, he's have caught me if I had fallen! And besides, I needed to get some water! I was thirsty!" Hiccup said, and Stoick frowned. There was a bucket of water in Hiccup's room, he couldn't have drunk all that, right?

"Really? Did you forget about the water I put in your room this morning?" Stoick asked as he grabbed a bottle of mead.

"Water? What water?" Hiccup asked, his voice confused. Hadn't Hiccup seen the…

Odin's eye, he was an idiot.

"I placed a bucket of water on your desk this morning, son. I… I thought you knew," Stoick stuttered as he put the bottle down, feeling incredibly stupid. Of course he didn't know, he couldn't see the bucket!

"Oh. I see. But I would have come back down here anyway, I wanted to know if there were more copper sheets here," Hiccup said, before hopping around the room, feeling the ground with his toes while precariously balancing on his crutches.

As soon as Stoick realized what Hiccup was doing, he ran forward and grabbed his arms to steady him.

"Son, you should be in bed, resting! You'll just hurt your foot even more by doing that!" he exclaimed, wondering why his son was so stubborn.

He was so not in the mood for this.

"I've been in bed all day, I've rested enough! And it'll be fine, I'm really good on these crutches by now! Of course, I'd be even better if you'd just let me go to the forge to repair my prosthetic…" Hiccup said cheerfully, like there wasn't any danger in that.

"Hiccup, no. I've told you before, it's not safe. The roads are icy, and if you slip again… You were really lucky before, son. It could have been much worse. Just… can't you make your inventions in here?" Stoick asked, grabbing Hiccup's shoulders again to keep him still.

"Well, that's just an occupational hazard, dad! I'm sick of lying in bed all day, and I don't have my stuff here. It's all in the forge! I need more copper, I need more wood, I need more metal! And I need the forge to do things with it! I have this great idea for a new tail fin for Toothless, and I want to make a present for Astrid! That has to be done before Snoggletog!" Hiccup exclaimed, and Stoick detected a hint of anger in his voice.

"Listen, Hiccup. We can't always have what we want. You're not allowed to use the forge while you're healing, and I won't let you walk there. It's too dangerous. You're too fragile!" Stoick said as he started to push Hiccup gently towards the stairs.

"Dad! I'm not some delicate flower! I survived the Red Death, I can take a little ice! And if I can't go to the forge, can't you get some supplies for me? I can make you a list!" Hiccup said, still with that infuriatingly enthusiastic voice. Stoick didn't understand how Hiccup could be so… thick.

Over the past few months Stoick had finally realized how clever his son was. His mind worked at speeds he couldn't even comprehend, often analyzing problems and offering solutions before Stoick even understood what the problem was in the first place. And he made incredible inventions and clever tools. But when it came to his own safety, Hiccup just didn't seem to care or think at all.

Stoick on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about what might happen to him. That day when he had found him in the snow, red blood staining the white flakes, he had thought for a moment that he was dead. He had broken his neck or hit his head to hard, and just… died. It was like something from his nightmares. And even when Gothi had come by and told him that he had just cut his leg and sprained the other, he still didn't feel calm. He kept imagining new scenarios of what could go wrong. And Hiccup, precariously balancing on his crutches or metal leg, surrounded by glowing hot metals and sharp objects in the forge?

That wasn't a situation he liked very much right now. So to hear Hiccup… demand to be in that dangerous position frustrated him.

"Hiccup! No, and that's the last word on it! You're going to go to bed, and you're going to heal! And then we can start thinking about letting you go near dangerous objects again," Stoick said as clearly as he could, hoping that his tone would tell Hiccup that there was no room for argument here.

It was never that simple.

"What? You mean my tools? I can handle myself, dad! You don't have to lock me away like this, I won't break from every little thing!" Hiccup said loudly, and Stoick could hear that he was doing his best not to start shouting.

"Because you _are_ fragile, Hiccup! You're blind, you've lost a leg, don't you realize that? You can't just do whatever strikes your fancy, there are things that are just too dangerous for you now!" Stoick said through gritted teeth, and he knew he was very close to losing his temper.

Hiccup lost his, though, when he heard that.

"Do you think I don't know that? Do you… Do you think I don't know that… I'm blind… and… Gods, why don't you get it?!" Hiccup screamed, and before Stoick could react, he wrestled his way out of his grip and started stumbling up the stairs.

Stoick was about to go after him, but before he could get his legs to work Hiccup's bedroom door slammed shut, and the anger disappeared.

"Thor, give me strength," he muttered, before collapsing onto the nearest chair.

He loved Hiccup so much, but it was so hard to understand him. Stoick just didn't know how to talk to him, he consistently reacted differently from what Stoick expected. He seemed so strong and cheerful sometimes, and then it changed to angry or frustrated without rhyme or reason.

He wondered if he should get Astrid. She always knew how to deal with Hiccup, and the two often seemed to communicate without saying anything at all, like they were reading each others minds.

Stoick wished Hiccup would just ask her to marry him already. Then they'd live in their own house and he wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. But the moment after he thought it he felt guilty. Hiccup couldn't help the fact that he was different, and he shouldn't start thinking of Hiccup as a burden. Not again. He couldn't let Astrid clean up his mess. He should do what Gobber told him, and listen to his son. He should try to find out why he was angry, and find a way to fix it.

He sighed deeply, before standing up from the chair and moving towards the stairs. As he started climbing the steps, he felt dread. Why was he so scared of facing his own son?

He stopped in front of the door, but didn't try to open it. He should get Hiccup's permission before entering his room.

"Hiccup, can we talk?" Stoick asked, waiting a few seconds for a response that didn't come.

"I'm not angry. I just want to talk about what just happened. And… And I'd rather not talk through a door. Can I come in, please?" he hesitantly asked. Stoick nearly started laughing when he realized he would never be this submissive to anyone else. A chief didn't beg or ask. But he wasn't a chief now. He was a father, and he needed to act like one.

Stoick listened for a few seconds, frowning when he heard dragon growls, interspersed with muffled words. It took him a moment to realize Toothless had to be in there, talking to Hiccup. He hoped the dragon was trying to convince Hiccup to open the door.

Eventually a muffled "Okay," reached his ears, and Stoick slowly opened the door, glancing around the room when he stepped inside. He frowned when he saw the bed was empty, and a quick inspection of the room didn't reveal Hiccup either. The bucket of water was still on the desk where he left it.

"Hiccup, where are-" Stoick started to say before he spotted Hiccup's crutches on the floor, next to Toothless' curled up form. Of course that's where he was. He felt a flare of anger when he realized Hiccup was avoiding him, but he suppressed the anger. Shouting at him wouldn't help.

"Hiccup, can you come out of there, please? I would like to see you when I talk to you," he slowly said. Toothless looked at him warily, faint distrust on his face, before lifting a wing, revealing Hiccup lying against the dragon's chest.

"Thank you, Toothless. Now, son. What did you mean when you said I didn't get it? Can you explain it to me?" Stoick asked, forcing himself to remain calm and gentle.

Hiccup was quiet for a while, clearly thinking about his words.

"It's… I… You said I don't realize I'm… in danger. But I do know that. I know that better than anyone, dad. When I'm… up here, with nothing to do and no one to talk to, that's all I can think about. I think and I think and I think and I think, because I've got nothing else to do. And I keep wondering if there was something I could have done to avoid that patch of ice, and I'm… I'm scared that I'll fall again when I go out," Hiccup slowly said, making Stoick frown. If he felt that way, then why was he so… dismissive of their efforts to protect him?

"Then you must understand why I'm doing this, Hiccup. I'm… I'm scared too! I don't want anything else bad to happen to you," he said, before kneeling on the floor to get closer to Hiccup.

"But that's the thing, dad. That's what I realized a long time ago. You can't protect me! No one can! There's always going to be risks and dangers and patches of ice, and I'll always keep stumbling and tripping and falling. That's… I'm blind, and I lost a leg, and as a consequence I'm more… vulnerable. But I accepted that, dad! I can't, no, I refuse to just… stay in bed all day because I might trip when I go out. Bad things happened to me, and more bad things can happen to me, but if I allow myself to be overcome with fear for those bad things, nothing good will happen to me either," Hiccup explained.

Stoick's first instinct was to argue. You can't just disregard danger like that! But then he was reminded of a time when Hiccup was eight years old and tried to climb a tree by himself. He fell and broke his leg, but even though he cried from the pain, he proudly showed him a raven's egg he managed to get from the top of the tree. Hiccup had been so proud of getting that egg that he said it had been worth the broken leg. And Stoick had been proud of his son then, for not giving up on his goals because of pain.

Maybe this wasn't so different. And maybe he should trust his son to know what rewards were worth what injuries.

And maybe he should be more lenient, because if there was anything he had learned over the past year, it was that Hiccup _wouldn't_ be shackled by any means. So… maybe it was better to allow him some supervised freedom rather than risking him sneaking out at night and getting hurt when nobody was around.

"I see, son. Thank you for telling me this. And… maybe you're right. I'll… offer you a deal. Tomorrow I will walk with you to the forge. You can stay there all day, and do whatever you want, as long as Gobber is okay with it. Before you do anything, you ask Gobber. Understand? You can use the forge, but Gobber will be keeping an eye on you. And you're not allowed to leave the forge until me or Astrid or Gobber can escort you back here, understand? You can go out, as long as someone else is with you," Stoick told Hiccup.

"Okay. I won't leave the forge, and I'll ask Gobber about everything. But… Can I go there the day after as well? I have an idea for a present for Astrid, it's on one of the sheets of copper here," Hiccup said as he slowly crawled out of Toothless' embrace, making the dragon warble.

"You can go the day after tomorrow as well. But then the same rules apply! And for the rest of the day you'll stay inside! No unsupervised trips! You're still on crutches, Hiccup, you shouldn't push your luck!" he said, trying to be stern as Hiccup hopped towards the desk and grabbed a sheet of copper.

"Can I at least visit Astrid in the Great Hall? She's there all day, with the feast preparations, and I want to help her and keep her company. Please?" Hiccup said as he slowly hopped across the room until he stopped to lean on one of the bedposts.

Stoick took a deep breath when he realized Hiccup was trying to milk this for all it was worth. But… Maybe that wasn't so bad. When he'll become chief, he'll do well in negotiations with such an attitude.

Maybe he should support this behavior slightly, he thought as a smile grew on his face. But he couldn't let Hiccup know that he was really agreeing.

"Well, honestly I think it's a little risky, since the Hall is a pretty chaotic place right now. But… I suppose you should ask Kirsten. She's in charge of the kitchens there, so if she thinks it's safe, which I doubt, you can go," Stoick said, trying to make his voice sound doubtful and regretful, even though he knew Kirsten would agree in a heartbeat. That woman did everything she could to let Astrid and Hiccup spend more time together.

Hiccup's face brightened as a huge smile appeared, and Stoick couldn't help but smile as well when he saw his son so happy. But then he remembered he couldn't let Hiccup forget who the master of the house really was.

"Now then, son. Since you'll have such a busy day tomorrow, you should go to bed now. You need your rest," he said, hoping the thinly veiled command would work. For a moment it looked like Hiccup was going to argue, but then he just sighed and sat down on the bed. Toothless warbled, before walking over and gently nosing Hiccup.

"Okay. But… Can I show you what I want to make for Astrid? I'd like to know what you think, since you know more about combat than I do," Hiccup slowly said, holding up the sheet of copper.

Stoick's heart softened again, and he was genuinely curious to know what Hiccup was trying to make. So he sat down next to his son and grabbed the drawing, eager to find out what kind of invention he had come up with this time.


	8. Losing Your Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoggletog is a time you spend with the ones you love. And although he's very, very happy he has Astrid, Hiccup's best friend is still Toothless. But when Hiccup gives him a Snoggletog gift, the dragon flies away! Meanwhile, Astrid finds that teaching Hiccup how to fight isn't as easy as she thought it would be. Gift of the Night Fury, featuring Blind Hiccup.

Finally, the wind was blowing through Hiccup's hair again. After more than a week of being stuck in bed, Hiccup was allowed to ride Toothless again at last. He hadn't needed further prompting, immediately running outside as quickly as he could (which was, admittedly, not very quick) and climbing into Toothless' saddle. The dragon had been excited as well, taking off as soon as Hiccup's repaired prosthetic pushed the pedal into the right position.

Hiccup had almost forgotten how free he felt in the air, not confined by his metal leg or blindness. Sometimes he wished he could stay up here forever, instead of having to use his cane to feel for the ground with every step. At least in the air, he could trust Toothless to not crash into anything. Toothless would warn him of obstacles coming up, and Hiccup would move the tail fin without questioning the Night Fury's directions.

So it was thrilling to do some riskier moves while flying. Dives, barrel rolls, flying upside down, they did it all. While Hiccup barely dared to run or jump while on the ground, in the air he felt invincible and powerful, trusting in Toothless to keep them safe. Because Toothless would never do anything to hurt him. Hiccup couldn't articulate how he knew that. He just did. He would never hurt Toothless. Toothless would never hurt him. Those were simple true facts.

He didn't dare to jump off Toothless and fall by himself yet, but the thought was becoming more enticing every day.

After another dive, so close to the trees Hiccup could hear the branches creak, they slowed down a little, gliding in circles. Hiccup wasn't sure where they were, he trusted Toothless to bring him back to Berk when they were done.

"That was close, bud! What do you say? Wanna go again?" he asked the dragon, reaching his hand forward to scratch his scales. Toothless suddenly became tense under his fingers, and Hiccup quickly grabbed the reigns again. Something was coming.

Sound of flapping wings reached his ears, and suddenly they were surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of dragons. Hiccup had trouble hearing Toothless' commands over the cacophony of sounds, and when a dragon roared just above him, he missed Toothless growl for them to go down.

Something hit them, and Hiccup felt his cane tip over. He stored it in a special holder on Toothless' saddle when they were flying, but the mild collision seemed to have knocked it out. He tried to grab it, but his fingers found nothing but air as the cane disappeared into the black fog around him,

"My cane!" he yelled, and without warning Toothless dove down. Hiccup gasped at the sudden change of direction, his brain wondering where all these dragons were coming from. They should get back to Berk.

"No, Toothless! Don't get my cane! Stop! We have to find out what's going on!" he shouted at the dragon as he moved the pedal to 'up'. He didn't blame Toothless for his actions, he had specifically trained him to fetch his cane whenever he lost it. But this dragon exodus was more important than the cane, even though he had spent hours modifying it with a hidden weapon.

Toothless reluctantly obeyed, though he continued growling. "I know, bud. You don't want me to lose my cane. But we'll get it later!" he said, hoping they were over land. If it fell into the sea, it could take forever to find it again, even though it thankfully floated.

"Back to Berk, Toothless!" Hiccup told the dragon clearly, knowing Toothless would not ignore a direct command like that. Grumbling, Toothless turned around and flapped his wings, making his way through the flock of dragons.

Hiccup could only hope they'd get answers on Berk.

* * *

"That was depressing!" Ruffnut exclaimed as they walked through the village after the assembly. Astrid had to agree. Stoick had done his best to keep spirits high and save the Snoggletog excitement, but the air had been thick with disappointment and worry.

Astrid hadn't been able to hide her sadness either. Stormfly was gone. She hadn't expected that at all. Stormfly had been very cuddly for the past few weeks, in fact. The Nadder had begged for fish and chicken instead of hunting for her own food like she usually did. She also stayed indoors by the fire instead of the stable, much to her father's protest.

So why did Stormfly and the other dragons leave? Astrid hoped it was just some temporary thing, like birds migrating south during winter. But something inside her kept worrying for her dragon's safety.

"Look, we don't know what happened, or why they left. But the dragons are smart and loyal. They wouldn't do this unless they had a very good reason!" Hiccup argued, voice remaining optimistic, but Astrid felt doubt in his hand signals. Hiccup had clearly been shaken as well. He seemed a little disoriented and lost, and not just because he lost his cane and relied on Astrid to guide him again.

"Easy for you to say! Your dragon can't go anywhere without you!" Tuffnut said, and before Astrid could reply, Ruffnut spoke up as well.

"You can't even see how badly your dragon wants to leave! Must be nice," the female twin said as she pointed to a black shadow in the distance. Astrid followed her finger, seeing Toothless on the cliffside. He was hanging forward as far as he could without falling, and the dragon produced sad and longing sounds.

Hiccup's fingers tightened in her hand, and he stopped moving, leaving the others to walk on. Astrid stayed with him, knowing Hiccup needed clarification.

"Toothless is up there, near the watchtower. He's… He looks like he really wants to… go somewhere not on Berk. He's whining and looking at something far away," she explained when the other teens where out of earshot, and Hiccup's face fell.

"It's not fair. If Toothless wants to fly somewhere he should be able to do that," he said as he squeezed her hand tightly. Suddenly a smile appeared on his face.

"You know, I think I could make him something to fly by himself! It could be a Snoggletog gift! Could you help me smith it?" Hiccup exclaimed, and she couldn't help but smile as well. Stormfly might be gone, but maybe she could help Hiccup with his dragon. And it would be nice to smith again.

"Of course! What's your plan?" she asked as she led him to the forge, and along the way he explained his idea for a tail that Toothless could control by himself. For a moment she wondered if Toothless would leave as well if he could fly. But she decided not to voice her concerns. The idea was ridiculous anyway. Toothless wouldn't leave Hiccup, it was just… not possible. Hiccup being without Toothless was a concept as weird as the sun rising in the west.

They entered the smithy and lit the forge. As the temperature rose and Hiccup started drawing a schematic on a sheet of copper, Astrid's attention was drawn by a shining object in the corner of the room.

Intrigued, she walked over to examine the strange object, gasping when she pulled it out of a pile of scrap and saw it was a beautiful shield. It looked like it was made from the purest silver, but it was way lighter than that. A blue Nadder was painted on the front of the shield, and the back had several buttons she didn't dare to touch.

"Hiccup? What is this?" she asked as she walked over to him. His curious expression turned to horror the moment he touched it, and without warning he snatched it from her grasp.

"You aren't supposed to see that! I thought Gobber had hidden it!" he said as he tried to shove the shield under the desk, but Astrid wanted to know what he was hiding now.

"Why wasn't I supposed to see it? Is it something you're still working on? One of your inventions?" she asked, confused by his behavior. Hiccup never hid things from her.

"No, it's…" he stuttered for a few seconds, clearly trying to come up with an excuse, before sighing deeply.

"What's the point of hiding it anymore? It's… It was supposed to be a surprise for you. A Snoggletog present," Hiccup softly said as he lifted the shield back up again. Astrid's jaw dropped, and then she felt ashamed for spoiling the surprise.

"I might as well give it to you now, I suppose. It's… You keep me safe all the time, and… I wanted to give something back for that. Something to keep you safe. I can't… see things coming that might hit you, but maybe this will protect you," he stuttered as he held the shield out to her. She took it, speechless.

"It's not just a normal shield! It's made of Gronkle iron, so it's extra light and strong. It also has some build in weapons. If you press that red button near the side it becomes a crossbow," he explained as he reached out and explored the shield until he found the button. She yelped when the entire shield split into multiple pieces that rotated around until a crossbow was revealed.

"You can press the button again to turn it back into the normal shield," Hiccup said as he pressed the button once more, and this time Astrid was prepared for the sudden transformation. Still, she was very impressed by the ingeniously manufactured shield.

"And the button in the middle activates a grappling hook. The hook is fired from this spot in the center," he explained further, and Astrid nodded, before remembering he couldn't see her response.

"It's amazing, Hiccup. Thank you!" she said as she looked at the shield one more time, before putting it on the desk and pulling Hiccup towards her for a kiss.

They were just getting into the kiss when the sound of a bell made them jump apart, and the signal that the forge was becoming too hot reminded Astrid of why they were there.

"Let's make Toothless an awesome Snoggletog present as well!" she said as she grabbed Hiccup's arm and led him to the forge.

* * *

Hiccup yawned loudly as he walked back to the house. He hadn't slept, instead working with Astrid through the night to make Toothless' new tail fin. It was morning now, according to Astrid, and he couldn't wait to show the invention to Toothless.

As he climbed the hill carefully, he heard Toothless pouncing the roof even harder than normal. Was he that eager to go flying? Or did it have something to do with the other dragons leaving?

"Toothless! I'm over here, bud!" he shouted, hoping Toothless hadn't done too much damage to the roof. Immediately, the dragon warbled happily, before running over to Hiccup.

"I've got something for you! A Snoggletog present!" he said as he held out the new fin, and he could hear Toothless sniff it curiously. Hiccup moved forward to take off the old fin, making Toothless jump and growl, before flipping his tail away from him.

"Settle down! Let me just put this on you!" he exclaimed as he felt around for Toothless' tail, eventually finding it and holding it down. He swiftly removed the old fin with practiced moves, before attaching the new fin and linking the complicated gears to Toothless' real fin.

After running his fingers over every part one last time to check if everything was attached right, he stood up.

"There you go! What do you think?" Hiccup said as he let go of the fin, and Toothless' reaction was immediate. He began thrashing and roaring, and Hiccup nearly fell over when Toothless' wings or tail narrowly missed him.

He was scared. He knew Toothless would never hurt him, but these rapid unpredictable movements still scared him, especially since he couldn't see them.

"Toothless, stop! Please! Are you hurt?" he shouted as he ducked, and suddenly a soft metallic sound rang out. Toothless froze and made a surprised sound, apparently figuring out how the fin worked.

"See? Do you get it now? You can fly on your own now," he said as he heard the fin opening and closing. Toothless' silence unnerved him a little. Normally the dragon made sounds almost constantly, but now he was silent.

"Toothless?" Hiccup hesitantly asked as he reached his hand out to the dragon. But before he could touch him, Toothless jumped away with a loud roar, before taking off and flying high up into the air.

"Toothless? Toothless?! Where are you going?" he asked as he moved his arms around him rapidly, trying to find his best friend. He couldn't have left, right? He would never leave him behind!

The sound of flapping wings quickly disappeared, and then Hiccup was alone again. He couldn't help but wonder if Toothless would even come back.

* * *

Sounds of metal hitting metal rang through the clearing, along with muffled cursing and heavy breathing. Hiccup did his best to fight off his attacker, but it was hopeless. All he had was an iron bar, a meager substitute for the cane he had trained with. In less than five seconds his opponent found an opening, swinging an axe in a way he didn't see coming, and suddenly his bar was whipped out of his hands. The next moment his legs were kicked out from under him, and then he was on his back, the blade resting on his throat.

"Dead," Astrid informed him, and he nodded. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back to his feet, before giving him the staff back.

"Let's try again," she said, before giving a loud battlecry. The scream drowned out the sound of her swinging weapon, and Hiccup panicked when he realized he had no idea where she was swinging her axe. Instinctively, he lifted the metal bar in an attempt to block. Astrid obviously anticipated the move, and probably easily navigated around it, changing her swing to aim a little higher.

The blade came to a rest on the side of his neck, making Hiccup gulp when he felt the cold metal.

"Dead," Astrid said again, and Hiccup felt so tired. It was so useless. There was no hope he could ever defeat Astrid. They had been training for weeks now, but there was no real sign of progress. The only times Hiccup had been able to block her attacks were by sheer luck, and he had never even been able to hit her back. Their fights all ended the same way. Less than ten seconds after they began, he'd be disarmed and incapacitated.

And like Astrid kept reminding him, if he had been fighting a real opponent, he would be dead.

"Hiccup," Astrid softly said as she rubbed his arm. "Relax. You're not going to be able to fight if you're panicking. You need to concentrate," she continued, and he turned away. What was the point? He couldn't defeat Astrid, a warrior he knew through and through. Then how could he ever defeat an attacker who wouldn't show mercy?

Astrid sighed when he didn't respond. "Look, Hiccup. It's hard. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you to do. I mean… I'm trying my best to teach you how to fight without… being able to see, and I don't know how to do that, but… I believe in you, okay? I believe that you can do it. You just have to pay attention to the sounds of my weapon," she said, and he slowly nodded. He couldn't say no to her. He couldn't let her down. So he moved back into position and readied his makeshift weapon.

This time Astrid didn't scream, and he could hear her steps were slower and more pronounced. He forced himself to focus, but his concentration was broken by a flash of anger when he realized she was swinging her axe much slower than she usually did. Astrid was deliberately moving slower to make it easier for him, and the fact that she was acknowledging he was that bad somehow infuriated him.

He moved the makeshift staff to block her attack, cursing silently when the extra weight made him move slower than expected. The axe hit the bar with a loud bang, but the bad angle merely made it change trajectory instead of blocking. Astrid's weapon came to a sudden stop right in front of his face.

"Dead," Astrid whispered, and he could hear frustration in her voice. He felt frustrated himself. He couldn't even block a single attack when she was moving very slowly.

Angry at himself, he turned away and threw the bar away.

"Hey now, that wasn't so bad! You nearly had it that time! I bet if you had been using your cane, you would have blocked that one!" Astrid said as she grabbed his hand from behind, but he tore it away.

"Maybe. And then you would have just made another attack, and before I can respond, you'll have disarmed me. Dead," he slowly said, trying to control his temper. He knew he shouldn't be so nasty against Astrid, but he was just… angry.

"Do you want to take this slower? I could just do one attack at a time. Then, when you can block those consistently, we'll move to two attacks in a row. Okay?" she asked, and he resisted the urge to scream.

"Yeah, and when I'll be able to block two attacks, we can start trying three. And by the time I'm actually good with this rod, my cane will wash up on the shore. It's lighter, so if I want to use it again, I'll have to start training from the beginning again," he said between gritted teeth, angry at the flock of dragons for knocking his cane into the ocean. He was angry at Toothless for leaving.

He was angry at himself for making the new tail fin in the first place.

"Learning to fight with other weapons is important, Hiccup! What if you only learned to fight with your cane, but lost access to it somehow? What if you were… I don't know… captured, and you'd have to fight your way out using the first weapon you find? That could be a sword, or an axe, or… or this metal bar," Astrid said as she opened his hand and placed the improvised weapon in it.

"Sure. Maybe in a year I can block one attack with the staff. Another year of training, and I can do it with a sword. Another, and I can do it with an axe. Then I can start training to block two attacks! And in forty years I might be able to start trying to hit you," he said sarcastically, and he felt her tense behind him.

"Hiccup, it took me years and years before I was able to fight! I've been there! I know that frustration!" she exclaimed as she turned him around and put her hands on his shoulders. He just shook his head.

"But… But you can see! I… I can't see, Astrid! How am I supposed to fight? Maybe, just maybe, I can learn to block your single attack here, in a silent forest. But… But what if it's in a battle? What if people are screaming around me, and the ground is slippery, and there are enemies everywhere? How am I supposed to adapt to that? You can do that, you can actually see what's going on, where you put your feet, what your opponent is doing! I can't do that!" he shouted, and he felt her flinch back a little. The realization that he startled her disgusted him.

"Hiccup, don't think like that! Let's just take it one step at a time. You gotta defend before you can attack! When you started to fly Toothless, you didn't do jumps and dives either, did you?" she said, and he just became angrier when she mentioned Toothless.

It had been three days since the dragon left, and Hiccup felt lost without his best friend. He had realized that normally he was rarely apart from Toothless for more than an hour. Toothless had become such a constant fixture in his life, such a constant support that he didn't even question anymore, that his disappearance shook him more than anything ever had. Even when he and Astrid had a fight and didn't talk for two days he hadn't felt this… incomplete.

He had thought a lot about it over the last few days, and he had come to realize he loved Toothless and Astrid in different ways. He loved Astrid in a romantic and friendly way. She was someone he wanted to spend time with, someone who he could talk to. Someone who guided him. She was a constant source of light and happiness in his dark world. But she was still a very different person, sometimes far away from him.

With Toothless, on the other hand, it was sometimes hard to think of him as a separate person. Their love was unconditional, unquestionable. In the darkness of the black room it sometimes felt like they were connected somehow with black fog, and they couldn't be separated.

If Astrid was his light, then Toothless was his shadow. And you can't lose your shadow. He's always with you. Sometimes bigger, sometimes smaller, sometimes barely visible. But always there.

Or at least, that's what Hiccup used to think. But now that Toothless seemed to have left him, he was doubting if Toothless had felt the same way. What if the dragon had simply stuck with him for convenience? What if he was just a useful source of food and artificial fins?

"It doesn't matter what I did with Toothless. Toothless is gone," he slowly said, before suddenly lashing out. All his frustration at losing Toothless, at losing his sparring matches, at falling, at losing his cane suddenly exploded.

He spun around, hooking the bar behind Astrid's legs. With a flick of his wrist Astrid fell, crying out in surprise. He didn't give her a chance to recover. He quickly felt around for her axe and knocked it out of her hand, before placing the tip of the bar on her throat.

There was complete silence for a few seconds, before Astrid's voice rang out, shaken and out of breath.

"Dead."

Hiccup was too shocked by the unexpected victory to respond, and Astrid jumped to her feet.

"Hiccup, that was amazing! That was… This is what you have to train! Surprise attacks! Enemies will underestimate you, they'll think you can't fight. If you can surprise them, and knock them out in a few seconds, you'll be a force to be reckoned with!" she exclaimed, and slowly, a smile came to his face.

"You think so?" he asked, before getting his answer when Astrid wrapped him in a tight hug.

"I'm sure. And… And I'm sure Toothless isn't gone. He's out there, somewhere. All the dragons flew west, maybe they're on an island somewhere over there?" she said, and Hiccup wished he could be that sure. But he realized he couldn't just sit around here anymore. He couldn't just defend and let the enemy come to him. He had to get out there and do something! He couldn't wait for Toothless to come back, he had to find him! Surprise everyone!

"Astrid? You can sail a boat, right?" he hesitantly asked.

* * *

Astrid was getting more and more doubts as they walked through the village with a pair of oars. Yes, she could sail a boat. Technically. In theory. Her mother taught her about ships, and she had gone on a few fishing trips. But she had never sailed by herself. Sure, Hiccup would be with her, but he had never sailed before.

And she silently wondered how much use he would be without eyes.

But she was still determined to go along with Hiccup's plan. He had a point, they should be actively trying to find out where the dragons had gone. And if they couldn't follow them through the air, they'd have to go by ship.

But she didn't think Stoick would agree with their reasoning. Which is why they hadn't told him of their little trip. They were just gonna go to the docks, 'borrow' one of the little fishing boats, and sail west.

She was leading the way through the village, hoping they wouldn't run into the chief or her parents, when Fishlegs appeared from around a corner and ran right into her. Fish spilled out of a large basket he was carrying, and he was looking extremely nervous.

"Hey Fishlegs. Did the fishing boats just come back? That's a lot of fish you got there! Enough to feed a dragon!" Astrid said, hoping the fishermen were done for the day. That would make it easier to take a boat.

"Oh, oh! A dragon? Hah!" Fishlegs stuttered with a nervous laugh as he backed away from them, before quickly walking away.

"That was odd," Hiccup commented, and she had to agree. Fishlegs had been acting weird ever since the dragons left. It was like he was hiding something.

"Let's follow him. Maybe if we find out what he's up to, we can convince him to help us," she told Hiccup, who answered with a quick nod. They followed Fishlegs as silently as they could, until they saw him enter the Ingerman family warehouse. Why would Fishlegs bring fish to the warehouse? The Ingermans stored grain there!

The door opened again, so Astrid quickly shoved Hiccup behind a nearby wall before taking cover herself. Cautiously, she peeked around the corner to see Fishlegs leave the warehouse, laughing nervously. He then walked right past them, thankfully not looking into the alley where they were hiding.

"'Legs is hiding something in the Ingerman warehouse. Let's check it out," she told Hiccup as she guided him to the door. Hiccup quickly ran his fingers over the door, grabbing his knife when he found it was locked.

"Keep watch," he told Astrid as he inserted the knife into the lock and started to wiggle it around. Astrid looked around, hoping no one was watching. This didn't feel right, but it was also exhilarating to be doing something illegal. Instinctively, she unsheathed her axe and took her new shield from her back. Wielding the weapons made her feel a little more powerful.

"And… it's open," Hiccup whispered as he pocketed his knife, before moving his fingers to the door handles.

Several things happened very rapidly. There was a loud dragon growl, followed by the sound of a chain snapping. Hiccup screamed, and then she saw a Gronkle fly out of the warehouse, taking Hiccup with him.

The moment she realized the dragon was kidnapping Hiccup, something snapped inside her. Her first instinct was to throw her axe at the Gronkle, but she realized that might hurt Hiccup as well. Plus, she didn't really want to hurt the dragon. Then she remembered her new shield.

She had been training with the shield for a couple of days now, intrigued by the hidden crossbow. But she was most impressed with the grappling hook hidden in the center of the shield. It was incredibly useful for hunting, as she could shoot it at foxes or rabbits to ensnare them, and the build-in winch would immediately pull her target in, delivering it right into her hands.

So Astrid dropped her axe and took aim with the shield, hoping to bring the Gronkle down. Then, just as Hiccup screamed "Meatlug?!" she pressed the button.

The moment the grappling hook wound itself around the dragon she now recognized as Meatlug, Astrid realized she had forgotten several things.

One: Gronkles had very small wings that would not be bound by the rope. The grappling hook only twisted itself around the dragon's body without actually trapping the wings or paws. So Meatlug would not actually stop flying.

Two: Hiccup was still hanging on to the Gronkle when the ropes twisted around him as well, making him completely stuck.

Three: Meatlug was at least ten times as heavy as she was. She had tried the grappling hook on several targets, and she had found that the reeling in mechanic only worked on lighter targets. The few times she had tried to use it on trees or big rocks, the shield had flown from her hand, or the powerful winch pulled her towards her target instead of the other way around.

So suddenly she was being dragged forward by the shield as the rope wound itself around Meatlug and Hiccup. Then her feet left the ground as the rope was being reeled in, pulling her towards the Gronkle.

Three seconds later the shield collided with Meatlug, and she followed barely a moment later. She was hanging on to Meatlug only by her shield, and she quickly grabbed the saddle to avoid falling, tightening her grip when she glanced down and saw the sea just below her.

"Astrid? Are you there? What is happening?" Hiccup shouted, and she groaned when she realized they were in quite a bit of trouble.

"Uhm… I think Meatlug kidnapped us," she said as she climbed in top of Meatlug, trying to find a way to untie Hiccup without him or the shield falling.

"And… why am I tied in ropes?" he asked, looking very confused.

Well, I tried to stop Meatlug using the grappling hook in the shield. It… didn't work," she said, feeling very stupid.

"Wait a minute! If Meatlug is flying away from Berk, he must be going to the other dragons! We'll find Toothless and Stormfly soon!" Hiccup suddenly exclaimed, looking way too happy for someone stuck to a dragon's face. But he was probably right. And although this dragon ride wasn't that comfortable, she had to admit it was faster than going by boat.

* * *

Hiccup had been in many uncomfortable situations. He had gotten lost, stuck, or hurt more times then he could count. But this might be a new low. Hiccup had been pressed against Meatlug for over an hour now, with no end in sight. Astrid had tried her best from her spot on the Gronkle, but she hadn't been able to find a way to untie the ropes without dropping him or the new shield into the ocean. So they had agreed that the only thing to do was wait until Meatlug would finally land somewhere so they could release him safely.

Hiccup hoped that would be very soon. He couldn't feel his arms anymore, and his leg was starting to hurt more and more, stuck at a bad angle. At least the ride was fairly even and calm, the only painful part was when Meatlug had to quickly dodge a stranded ship. But still, Hiccup would much rather ride on Toothless or Stormfly.

Why did these things always have to happen to him?

Meatlug hadn't responded to anything he or Astrid said. And he wasn't really in a position to reach his hand out to the dragon. So all they could do was hope that Meatlug would reach his destination soon.

"You see anything yet?" he asked for the twentieth time, more to pass the time than to get a real answer.

"Still nothing but clouds," Astrid said, but a moment later Meatlug descended sharply, making Hiccup yelp when the rope dug into his neck painfully.

"There's an island there! It's full of dragons! They're there!" Astrid shouted, and Hiccup smiled. Finally they were there. He'd see Toothless again!

A minute later they landed, and thankfully Meatlug was willing to hold still while Astrid removed the ropes. Hiccup immediately fell when blood streamed back into his limbs, but he couldn't stop smiling when he heard the dragons growling and roaring nearby. He could also hear roars and calls he had never heard before. They were more squeaky, like they came from smaller dragons, and Hiccup wondered if some new species of dragon was also hatching here.

"Hiccup! There's… There's baby dragons! All the dragons have babies!" Astrid said as she pulled him back up, and suddenly the sounds made sense. They _were_ little dragons, just of the same species!

"Hiccup, look! There's a Gronkle over there who's pushing her eggs into a sort of well, and little Gronkles are coming out!" Astrid said with an awed voice as she guided him. Hiccup wished he could see the baby dragons, they had to be really cute if they could reduce Astrid Hofferson to this babbling and cooing girl.

Suddenly his prosthetic hit some kind of rock, making them stop walking.

"Hey, you missed an-!" Astrid started saying loudly, before an explosion knocked him off his feet. Moments later he was on his back, a little Gronkle sitting on top of him. Hiccup gently reached his hands out to the dragon, awing when he felt the tiny being. The cuteness almost made him forget the pain in his back and legs.

"Are you okay?" Astrid asked as she gently lifted the Gronkle off him and pulled him to his feet.

"Yeah, but it's a good thing those don't hatch on Berk," he groaned, and she laughed.

"Let's find Toothless and Stormfly," Astrid told him, and he followed her gladly, taking care not to step on any little dragons.

The mass of babies made his mind wander to the girl beside him. As future chief of Berk, he was expected to produce an heir. He had always known that, but he hadn't really thought about who the mother would be. But now, as Astrid suddenly screamed "Stormfly! You have babies?!" and pulled him along as she ran to her Nadder, he realized that she would be the one to bear his children one day. It would be Astrid, or no one at all. He just couldn't imagine anyone could be a better mother and a better wife than her.

He didn't dare to say anything to Astrid yet, but as he knelt down to feel Stormfly's babies, he wondered if these little dragons might be good practice for the children they would have one day.

* * *

"So, Astrid. We're gonna have some Nadder babies in the house now, huh? How long until we have some human babies as well?" Kirsten asked, and Astrid groaned, not taking her eyes off Stormfly's children.

"Not for a while, mother," she managed to say while trying to hide the blush on her face. She had been trying not to think about the fact that she and Hiccup would be married someday. And then… they'd have children, if Freya blessed them. It was a thought that scared her. She didn't know how to deal with children.

"Well, I'm just saying that if you marry Hiccup within three months, and you get pregnant quickly, you'll have a child next Snoggletog!" Kirsten said, and Astrid whipped her head up.

"Mother! We're not getting married in three months! In Thor's name…" she said loudly, blushing more when several Vikings turned to look at them. The Great Hall was filled with humans and dragons celebrating Snoggletog, and she didn't want them to get any ideas about Hiccup and her.

Kirsten sighed, before putting her hand on Astrid's shoulder. "Astrid, don't worry. I was just joking. Look… I only want you to get married and have children when both you and Hiccup feel ready. And if that takes years, I'll accept that. Just come to me when you're ready, and we'll make a contract then. Not before, okay?" her mother softly said, and Astrid nodded, surprised at this serious side Kirsten rarely showed.

"Good. Now go to Hiccup and cheer him up. The lad's looking very sad," Kirsten said, and Astrid looked around to see Hiccup by the pillar in the center of the room, looking lost.

"Okay, mother. Thanks," she said as she stood up, but before she could walk over, her mother spoke up.

"Just don't cheer him up in a way that leads to more babies!" Kirsten said loudly, and Astrid walked away quickly, hoping no one had heard that.

Her embarrassment quickly faded when she reached Hiccup and grabbed his hand. He was trying to hide it, but she could feel he was distressed. She had noticed his increased stress ever since they hadn't found Toothless on the nesting island. They hadn't talked about it then, instead focusing on using the shipwreck to transport the baby dragons back to Berk. But she knew he had been wondering about Toothless all the while.

"Hiccup, I know it must be really hard to… to hear everyone being so happy, and interacting with their dragons. But we did a good thing today. We discovered why the dragons left, and now we can prepare for next year," she said, before pulling him into a hug. He was stiff at first, but eventually he hugged her back. But she could still feel the worry plaguing him.

"Astrid, where did Toothless go?" he asked the question they had both been asking silently, and she wished she had an answer.

"I don't know," she answered. She was about to offer suggestions, maybe Night Furies hatched somewhere else, when the doors to the Great Hall were pushed open by a black paw. Her jaw dropped when she recognized Toothless entering the room, looking around anxiously. The dragon's eyes widened when he saw them, and she noticed he was biting down on something she couldn't see well.

Deciding to surprise Hiccup, she pulled out of the hug. "Man, I wouldn't want to be you right now! You brought back everyone's dragon, except yours!" she said, almost regretting it when she saw Hiccup's face fall. But his irritation would be quickly forgotten.

"You know, Astrid, that is not helping-" he said angrily, but then she grabbed his shoulders and spun him around, before pushing him toward his best friend. Toothless warbled happily, and even from behind Astrid saw Hiccup suddenly radiate happiness when he recognized the sound.

"Toothless! Hey bud!" he said as he walked towards the dragon as quickly as he could, putting his arms around Toothless' neck. Astrid recognized the object in Toothless' mouth as Hiccup's cane, and she smiled when she understood where Toothless had been. Hiccup seemed to have trained him to fetch a little too well.

Hiccup started to reprimand the dragon, but his tirade was interrupted when Toothless spat out the cane, making it land on the stone floor with a loud 'clink', before warbling something that sounded like 'cane'.

Hiccup was completely frozen for a few moments, before kneeling to grab the slimy cane.

"You found my cane? That's where you've been? You fetched my cane!" he said, before hugging the dragon again.

"Thanks bud. You're the best," Astrid could hear him mutter, making her smile. Somehow seeing them reunited finally made the assembly feel like a real party, and she was happy to join in when people shouted "Happy Snoggletog!"

* * *

Toothless' roaring and pouncing woke Hiccup early in the morning, but he couldn't be mad at the dragon. It felt reassuring to sense how eager Toothless was to fly with him. So Hiccup decided not to let the dragon wait, and quickly dressed and grabbed his cane. When he walked outside, he nearly tripped over the saddle and fin lying on the ground.

"Toothless, why did you drag this out here?" he asked when he realized it was the old fin and pedal. The dragon simply warbled, before pushing the fin against his foot.

"You don't need this anymore!" Hiccup told the warbling dragon as he shoved the fin out of the way.

"Toothless, would you quit fooling around! You don't need this anymore! You don't need me to respond to your commands now!" he exclaimed when Toothless jumped away from him while warbling loudly.

Hiccup frowned and shook his head, not comprehending. What was Toothless doing? The metallic sound of the new tail rang out, but before Hiccup could reach Toothless, there were smashing sounds.

"Toothless! What are you doing?!" he screamed when he realized Toothless was destroying the tail, but then Toothless' warbled familiar words.

"Urp. Urp. Lurgh! Rawr! Urp!" Toothless growled, and Hiccup recognized the flying commands. Did… Did Toothless want him to follow those commands? Did Toothless prefer flying with their crazy system of voiced commands rather than by himself?

The realization brought a huge smile to his face, and then he picked up the old fin.

"Okay bud, let's see what tricks we can do today!" Hiccup said as he started attaching the fin like he had done so many times before, and he knew Toothless would never abandon him, as he would never abandon Toothless.

After all, a shadow follows the movements of the one who casts it.


	9. Regaining Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Flightmare is coming, the Flightmare is coming! When the dragon who kills his brother and stole his family's honor shows up, Tolfdir is determined to slay it. But his drastic plan clashes with Berk's new policy of peacefully approaching dragons, and he is shut down. Astrid, however, isn't so easily deterred by old men saying she can't do something. Especially after training 10 years for this battle.

Tolfdir felt immensely proud as he looked at Hiccup and Astrid presenting their latest project at the weekly assembly. They were proposing using the dragons' strength to dig irrigation channels. The extra supply of water would fertilize the land, thus increasing the supply of grain and vegetables.

It did feel odd. Just eighteen months ago, they fought against the dragons to stop them from plundering the farms. Now they were working with dragons to improve them. And this wasn't the only change in Berk. Dragons were helping with fishing and construction as well, and he knew Hiccup and Astrid had more plans. Gronkle-powered forges, mines dug by Whispering Deaths, Timberjacks helping with logging trees. The dragons would be well compensated for their labor, receiving ample amounts of fish or meat, thus getting their share of the increased productivity of Berk.

Sometimes Tolfdir had trouble recognizing Berk. It felt like the changes were happening so rapidly it was hard to keep up. Just this morning he had nearly thrown his axe at a dragon carrying a sheep, instinctively thinking it was a raid, before realizing it was just someone practicing for dragon racing.

It wasn't that he hated the changes. He sighed along with the rest of the Hall when Mildew protested against the plans, saying he'd die before he'd let dragons irrigate his farm. Tolfdir knew these innovations and agreements were good things. And this peaceful life was a million times better and safer than the old war-filled Berk.

Tolfdir just wasn't sure what his place was in this new world.

Everybody seemed to be so busy doing things with the dragons or taking advantage of the peace. Suddenly everyone was riding dragons, training dragons, playing with dragons. Or they sailed, or even flew across, the now safe oceans to trade with other islands and exchange stories and technology.

Kirsten was actually at the center of the new diplomatic journeys. Her mastery of several languages and knowledge of court customs had landed her a job as a diplomat and translator on several trade missions in the past few months. Tolfdir was happy and proud for her, but it made the house a lot emptier. Especially since Astrid was spending more and more time flying with Stormfly or going out with Hiccup.

Gods, she had grown so much. Whenever he looked at Astrid some part of him still saw a little girl struggling to throw an axe. It was only rarely that he remembered she was a woman now, and didn't need her father to guide her anymore. The realization made him sad, even though he was so happy and proud as he looked at her presenting the map of the proposed irrigation network. He knew she and Hiccup had planned and made it together, and he knew they were a good team. Hiccup seemed to bring out more of her hidden talents than Tolfdir ever had.

He had his doubts when they started their unofficial relationship, wondering if Astrid could really love someone that damaged, and if Hiccup could see the beauty in Astrid. But then he had spotted them, hiding in a dark alley. At first he had thought they were kissing, or maybe even more, but then he realized Hiccup was crying and holding Astrid like his life depended on it. And Astrid had let him, calming him with what he realized was practiced ease.

Hiccup had muttered something he couldn't hear, and Astrid had just shaken her head, saying _"Don't apologize. You're not weak. I love you, Hiccup."_

And Tolfdir believed it.

He had quickly walked away, feeling like he had witnessed something far more precious and private than if they had been making love.

As Tolfdir looked at the couple enthusiastically explaining the irrigation system, he wondered how long it would take until they would ask to be married. Kirsten was eager for it, but Tolfdir was a little nervous of that inevitable day. He wanted to see them together, but he didn't like the idea of Astrid moving out of his house. With Astrid gone there would be even less for him to do. He could barely fill his days with housework now. He didn't mind doing it, unlike some of the other men in the village. It was logical that he did it, Kirsten was busy with the sea voyages and other official duties, while he…

…He didn't really have a job left. With the war over, there was no need for constant patrols anymore. No need for rebuilding burned homes, no need for fighting dragons. He still patrolled every day, and kept himself in good shape. But still, he felt… old. Just yesterday he noticed some of his hair around his temples was turning gray. He was only 32, but he felt much older than that. He felt a little… overtaken by the rest of the world. But he still had tons of energy, and he wanted to help Berk.

He just didn't really know how anymore.

Well, he knew one way. That's what he was here for today. For the first time in his life, Tolfdir was going to make a public suggestion during weekly assembly. He waited for his turn, inwardly cheering when the irrigation plan was accepted by the council. But his smile disappeared when he was called forward and he remembered why he was here.

"Chief, councilors. I believe there is an important issue that has not been discussed yet. Aurvindil's Fire is lighting up the sky, and exactly ten years have passed since the Flightmare attacked Berk last. In that attack, the Flightmare killed my brother, Finn. I know there are rumors that Finn was frozen in fear of the dragon. I have never believed them, but I know… others in this village do. I do not seek to convince them. I simply ask for an opportunity to regain my family's honor. I simply seek to redeem the Hofferson name," Tolfdir spoke, forcing himself to remain composed and calm, even though he could hear whispering and muffled laughs around him.

"Tonight the Flightmare will come for the village from the north. I wish to go to the northern swamp and stop it there before it can reach the village," he continued as he put his hand on the pommel of his sword.

"When you say 'stop', what do you mean by that, Tolfdir?" Stoick asked, and Tolfdir knew he had to formulate his response very carefully.

"I will attempt to prevent the dragon from reaching Berk by any means necessary. That dragon killed my brother. I… I will not hesitate to use lethal force if that's what it takes," he answered, feeling a shock go through the Hall. He knew it was a bold proposal. Nobody had ever managed to kill the Flightmare. But he knew he had to, to protect the village and fully regain his honor. Not for himself, he had grown used to ridicule ever since he got married. But he wanted Astrid and Kirsten to be free of the rumors. A diplomat needed to be free of scandal, and the future wife of the chief's heir couldn't be seen as cowardly.

"You want to kill the Flightmare?" Njorda the Fisherwoman asked, surprise clear in her voice.

"Yes," Tolfdir simply said, trying to sound as imposing as possible. In the corner of his eye he saw Astrid and Hiccup listening intently. He briefly smiled at Astrid before turning back to the council.

"First of all, I think it's very brave of you to suggest this, Tolfdir," Stoick said with a quick glare at some chuckling Vikings in the back.

"But… I can not approve of this plan. We do not kill dragons on Berk anymore. A year ago I wouldn't have said this, but I want to try to not engage the Flightmare. Maybe it can be reasoned with. Maybe it will simply pass over Berk without attacking the village. I do not know, but I will not be the first to attack it, and I will not allow anyone else to attack it either unless it attacks us," Stoick said, and Tolfdir knew he couldn't argue with this. This was basically an official edict. He was forbidden from engaging the Flightmare.

"Very well," Tolfdir simply said before turning around and walking through the throng of people, trying to ignore the whispers he could hear.

"I bet he's secretly glad he's not allowed to fight. He'd probably freeze like his brother."

"He's too cowardly to stand up to the chief."

"It's sad, he isn't even allowed to do the one thing he knows how to do. Killing dragons."

Before he could exit, Mildew suddenly stepped in front of him, stopping him. "I just wanted to say thank you for your suggestion there, Tolfdir. I'm glad there's someone else who thinks the dragons should be killed. Too bad nobody else seems to think so, right?" the old man said, and Tolfdir had to suppress his anger.

"I do not seek your approval, Mildew," he said as he pushed the man aside. But as he did, he noticed Astrid looking at him with an angry expression. He suddenly felt shame. He didn't mind the ridicule, but his backfired suggestion would have repercussions for her as well. Maybe he shouldn't have suggested it.

Without another word he walked out of the Hall, breaking into a run as soon as he was out of sight of the Vikings. At least he had time for another training session now. And tonight he could clean the house… again. It wasn't like he had anything better to do.

* * *

Hiccup winced when yet another barrel was smashed to pieces. Astrid's loud cursing and the splintering of wood hurt his sensitive ears, and he moved a little further away, pressing himself closer against the walls of the arena.

"Were those all of them?" he asked when he didn't hear a swing for several seconds. He understood that Astrid needed to blow off steam, but he had never heard her this angry.

"Yes. I still want to smash things, though," she muttered, and Hiccup suppressed his smile. Carefully, he walked over to her, mindful of her sharp axe, while feeling for pieces of wood with his cane.

"Is this about the assembly?" he asked when he sensed he was next to her, not daring to feel around for her hand.

"Yes. They had no right to treat father like that. They acted like Uncle Finn's death was a joke! Like we were a joke! It just makes me so… Argh!" Astrid exclaimed, and Hiccup jumped back when she swung her axe against a nearby object.

"Look, Astrid. Maybe it's better this way. We shouldn't kill dragons anymore. Even the Flightmare," he said, and he could almost _feel_ her scowl.

"The Flightmare isn't some cute misunderstood dragon. It killed Uncle Finn. It made my family into a laughing stock. And I want to kill it for that," she eventually said, and Hiccup sighed. He didn't like this vengeful Astrid. But he understood how important this was for her.

"Astrid… I don't want to fight with you. I know I can't convince you anyway. You've made your mind up, and I won't stop you. I can't stop you. So… At least don't go after it alone. Let me come with you. Then we can observe it, and then we can decide what to do about it. Together," he said as he tentatively reached out his hand. There was silence for a few seconds, before Astrid grabbed his hand and shook it.

"Fine. We'll go tonight. On Toothless, I want to take it by surprise," she said, and Hiccup sighed.

"Astrid! We are just going to observe. Promise me you won't attack it unless I agree," he demanded, and she sighed "I promise."

But Hiccup couldn't help but notice her fingers in his hand were trembling and shaking, something they often did when she was lying. He decided to pay close attention to her tonight.

* * *

"There it is! The Flightmare!" Astrid shouted when she saw the spectral dragon in the distance. It seemed smaller than she remembered it. In fact, it didn't look terrifying at all. The sight of it just made her angry.

"Good. Now we're just going to observe it for a while. Okay?" Hiccup said, and she suppressed her sigh. Why couldn't Hiccup just let her do this? She didn't like the idea of killing dragons any more than he did, but the Flightmare was special. It was what had made her fight in the first place. A decade of nonstop training, all in preparation to kill the Flightmare for killing her uncle. She wasn't going to let that all go to waste.

"Fine," she said, not really meaning it. The first chance she'd get, she'd jump off and attack the beast. It deserved to die.

The glowing dragon spotted them, screaming loudly. Toothless growled back while flying lower, aiming for the cover of the trees.

"What is it doing? What do you see?" Hiccup asked, but she didn't answer. The moment Toothless flew low enough she jumped off the Night Fury and ran towards the Flightmare.

"Here I am, ungodly beast! Fearless Astrid Hofferson!" she shouted as she ran at the dragon. Some part of her heard Toothless land about twenty yards behind her, but she didn't stop. "Astrid!" Hiccup shouted, and she felt a pang of guilt when she heard his cry.

"Come and get me if you dare!" she shouted as she raised her axe. The Flightmare screamed, and the sound made her look up, right into its eyes. There was something odd about those eyes. They made her feel… stiff. She suddenly found that she couldn't run anymore. She couldn't swing her axe.

She couldn't even scream.

"Astrid! Astrid, where are you?" she could hear Hiccup screaming behind her, and the rapid tapping of his cane told her he was running around as fast as he could, trying to find her. She tried to speak, but only a small gasp came out.

"Astrid! Talk to me! Please, Astrid, where are you?" Hiccup screamed, and then she saw the Flightmare stare at something behind her. It had to be Hiccup. She suddenly felt terrified that Hiccup would be paralyzed the same way she was. But his screaming didn't end.

The Flightmare roared angrily, before spreading its wings, clearly preparing to attack. She remembered that attack. It was what killed Uncle Finn. Her breathing quickened when she saw her death approach, but moments before the dragon hit her something pounced into her from behind and knocked her to the ground. The Flightmare screamed angrily as it narrowly missed her. A toothless mouth grabbed her foot and dragged her backward to the still shouting Hiccup. Moments later she felt his hand on her back, and he gasped in relief.

"Astrid! Talk to me!" he cried as he shook her violently, before being interrupted by another roar by the Flightmare. "We have to get out of here! Toothless, get us out!" Hiccup shouted at the Night Fury as he pulled her body onto the saddle. As they flew away, life returned to her limbs.

"H-H-Hi-Hiccup," she eventually managed to stutter, and it was immediately followed by the tightest hug Hiccup had ever given her.

"You're alive! You're okay! I thought I lost you! I couldn't find you, and then I thought you were dead… Oh, Astrid!" he muttered into her shoulder, and she felt foolish for leaving him behind.

"I'm sorry, Hiccup. It… froze me. I looked into its eyes, and… I couldn't move. That must have been what happened to Uncle Finn as well!" she told him as Toothless flew a little higher, following the Flightmare at a safe distance.

"Thank the gods it's only temporary. And… if you looked into its eyes… I wonder if you have to look at it for it to trigger," Hiccup said, and she nodded in his embrace.

"I think so. I'm pretty sure it stared in your direction while you were searching for me, but it didn't do anything to you," she said, nearly chuckling when she realized the irony of Hiccup being more 'fearless' than her.

"Okay, let's follow it. We should cut it off before it reaches Berk. Maybe I can distract it while you and Toothless do something," he said as he pulled out of her embrace and focused on Toothless' commands.

They flew over another ridge, before seeing that the river was glowing as brightly as the Flightmare following it.

"Hiccup, the river is glowing. I think the Flightmare is attracted to the glow somehow," she whispered in his ear, and Hiccup nodded.

"This river flows into Berk, right? That would explain why it always attacks the village. We should stop the flow," Hiccup proposed, and she nodded. Astrid quickly looked around for a way to stop the river from leading to Berk. When she saw a bend in the river flow just past the ocean cliff she smiled.

"The river flows very close to the ocean. Maybe if we blast a new channel, we can divert the flow," she whispered in Hiccup's ear, and he nodded.

"I'll distract it, and you can go with Toothless to blast that new channel," he said as they landed in front of the Flightmare. She gave his hand a quick squeeze before leading Toothless away to the narrowest strip of land. She didn't like leaving Hiccup there, but she knew she would only be a burden if the Flightmare managed to catch her gaze again.

"Come on, big guy! I don't want to fight you! Can't we be friends?" she heard Hiccup shout as she pointed out to Toothless where he should blast. She immediately looked around to see the dragon stare at Hiccup again. Thankfully it had no effect. After a few seconds, the Flightmare seemed to understand that as well, and it dove at Hiccup.

At the last possible second, Hiccup dove out of the way, making the Flightmare scream as it slowly turned in the air for another attack. Astrid sighed in relief when she saw the months of combat training pay off.

"Come on, Toothless! Just a bit more!" she told the Night Fury, as she looked at Hiccup dodging another strike. Although he was terrible at close combat, he could hear big things moving extremely well.

Suddenly Toothless made a happy roar when the last bit of land gave way before the torrent of glowing water now pouring into the ocean, and she quickly jumped back into the saddle.

"We did it, Hiccup! Get on!" she shouted as Hiccup dodged a third attack, and moments later Toothless grabbed the blind boy and swung him into the saddle. With practiced ease, Hiccup put his foot in the pedal and sent them into the dark skies above.

Astrid looked around to see the Flightmare scream loudly at them, before turning around and following the glowing water towards the ocean. They did it. They drove the Flightmare away!

"You okay?" Hiccup asked after about a minute of silence, and she put her arms around him.

"Yeah. Thanks to you and Toothless. And the Flightmare is gone. It's flying over the ocean now, towards the east," she said, surprised by the lack of anger she felt. She didn't feel the urge to kill it anymore. Maybe because she now knew for sure Finn had been fearless. Or maybe because she didn't want to risk Hiccup losing her. His desperate screams had frightened her far more than any dragon ever had.

"Let's get back to Berk. And tell the villagers your Uncle Finn was indeed fearless. As are all the Hoffersons," he said with a smile, and she hugged him a little closer.

* * *

Every time Tolfdir felt like he couldn't be prouder of his daughter, she managed to amaze him yet again. When he realized she had sneaked out to fight the Flightmare he had been angry at her for defying the chief's orders. But now that she had driven the dragon away without even hurting it he couldn't be prouder. He hadn't even considered trying to stop the Flightmare in a nonviolent manner. So while he was proud of his daughter (and Hiccup) for being so creative, he felt even more out of touch with the times than ever before. If even the Flightmare didn't have to be fought anymore, what use was a dragon fighter like him to Berk?

But he couldn't blame the younger generation for that. He would be happy for them, and tonight they would celebrate. They had invited Hiccup over to dinner, to celebrate the redemption of the Hofferson name. Astrid and Kirsten were in the kitchen cooking dinner, while Hiccup and Tolfdir were sitting at the table.

"Thank you again, Hiccup. You did my family a great service," Tolfdir told the blind boy.

"Ah, it's no problem. Going after the Flightmare was Astrid's idea after all, I was just helping. She did all the important work," Hiccup said, and Tolfdir frowned when he noticed Hiccup's head was facing the wall instead of him. The fact that Hiccup always seemed to look at a spot slightly to his left annoyed Tolfdir, even though he knew the boy couldn't help it. He knew Hiccup couldn't actually see anything, and that it was stupid to think about Hiccup 'seeing' or 'facing' him. But it still felt odd sometimes. He liked the boy a lot, but it was hard to understand him.

"Still, I'm sure that she came up with a peaceful solution because of you and your influence. The gods know that I have raised her differently, and I certainly would have just attacked the Flightmare without thinking!" he said, and Hiccup blushed. The boy never seemed to be able to take compliments well.

"Oh, I don't know if I really did that much. She wanted to attack it at first too. She… Uhm… She was very angry about what happened at the assembly, and that you were denied your request, sir. She was furious that you were… treated like that by the villagers," Hiccup softly said while ducking his head, and Tolfdir quickly glanced over his shoulder at the kitchen. Kirsten and Astrid were talking, although he couldn't quite hear the words. It didn't look like they could hear what Hiccup said.

Tolfdir sighed. "She shouldn't have been so angry. They were right. It would have been wrong of me to attack the Flightmare. And… And let's be honest, there's not much a dragon fighter like me can do for the village anymore," he admitted. Somehow it was easier to admit his uselessness to Hiccup than to anyone else. Maybe it was the fact that Hiccup wouldn't look at him with pity. Hiccup couldn't see his graying hair or tired face.

"What? Y-You are a-a big part of Berk, sir! My father thinks very highly of you!" Hiccup stammered, clearly surprised by the statement, and the boy's confidence made him smile a bit.

"Maybe I was in the old Berk, son. But in this new Berk, the Berk that you created…" Tolfdir said as he gestured at Hiccup, mentally kicking himself when he realized Hiccup couldn't actually see the gesture.

"…In this new village, I can't do much. It's all about befriending and working with dragons, and I'm no good at that. I don't know any craft besides fighting. I suppose it's time for you younger people to take over," he slowly said. It was nice to get all this off his chest. He hadn't even talked to Kirsten about this. Not really. She was gone so often lately. They needed to talk.

Hiccup looked shocked and ashamed. "I-I'm sorry, sir! I mean… I didn't want this to happen with my proposals and dragon riding and stuff. I mean, I'm glad we don't kill dragons anymore, and I don't want you to kill them, but I didn't want to put you out of a job, and…" Hiccup stammered, clearly flustered, and Tolfdir interrupted him.

"Don't feel sorry. You did great things for this entire community. Don't feel bad because it hurts a select few within that community. I just have to find something new. It's just that… finding a new job is hard," he firmly said, not wanting Hiccup to feel guilty.

"Okay, but still… Maybe you could learn a new craft? Saddles and other riding equipment is in demand. We need more fish to feed all the dragons with too!" Hiccup offered, and Tolfdir chuckled, impressed by the boy's quick mind. He was starting to see what Astrid saw in him.

"I wish I could, but I'm getting old, son. No artisan is going to take someone in his thirties as apprentice. Before I got married I used to log trees, but nobody needs wood now. Houses don't need to be rebuild, no ships have to be replaced," he explained, feeling tired.

"Oh, I see. But… You must have other skills, right?" Hiccup asked, and Tolfdir recognized a certain… desperation in the boy's voice.

"No, son, all I know how to do is fight. But don't worry about me. You're doing great things, and you shouldn't feel bad if an old man like me gets lost along the way. I did my part, I raised an amazing daughter, and maybe that was my destiny. Maybe I'm not fated to take part in this strange new world," he said with a sigh, though it didn't seem to calm Hiccup. The boy was clearly thinking hard.

"Well, you did a great job there, sir. You certainly trained Astrid to fight very well! I… I wish I could have learned to fight like her. Astrid is trying to teach me, but it's hard with the… you-know…" Hiccup said as he gestured at his blindfold, looking a little sullen, before suddenly perking up.

"Maybe you could do that! You could teach people how to fight! Like with the old dragon training, but without the actual dragon fighting. Teach them how to fight with different weapons! I know many parents are too busy to teach their kids how to fight, or they don't really know about different weapons or techniques!" Hiccup said enthusiastically.

Tolfdir's eyes narrowed as he thought about the suggestion. Hiccup might be on to something. Even though they had dragons and trade agreements now, they still had enemies. The Berserkers were acting aggressively, and the Outcasts were still a nuisance. So people still had to learn how to fight. Maybe he could do that by starting a sort of fighting academy.

"I like this idea. I'll talk to Stoick about it tomorrow. He mentioned he wanted to form a sort of guard force to better organize the different fighters, maybe we can combine it with that," he pondered out loud, and Hiccup smiled.

"Yeah, if everyone is taught in a group by the same person, that should make them a more cohesive and disciplined fighting force! The Romans did-" Hiccup said before being interrupted by a shout coming from the kitchen. Tolfdir looked around to see Astrid run into the dining room, Kirsten close behind.

* * *

"Soup isn't a good idea, mother. Hiccup has trouble eating that!" Astrid exclaimed when her mother grabbed the big soup pan. Kirsten chuckled.

"Ah, you're already so familiar with his eating preferences. You might as well be married already!" Kirsten said as she put the pan down, and Astrid groaned. Why couldn't her mom shut up about marriage for five seconds?!

"It's not like that. It's just that because of his… you-know… he spills soup easily. I don't want him to get embarrassed. He's self-conscious about it, okay?" she muttered as she tried not to get angry at her mother. She had hoped this would be a nice happy dinner to celebrate the defeat of the Flightmare. She didn't want marriage or Hiccup's blindness to be a topic.

"Sure, and that protectiveness comes from wanting to marry him! Everyone can see that! Kirsten exclaimed, and Astrid quickly looked over her shoulder at the dining room, hoping that Hiccup or father hadn't heard that.

"Mother! Can we not talk about this? I thought this dinner was about the Flightmare!" she begged, though part of her did wonder if Hiccup wanted to marry her as well. They had been together for nearly eighteen months now, and she knew they loved each other. And she felt ready to take that next step. If she was really honest, she was looking forward to it. Living in their own house, sleeping (and doing other things) in the same bed, no more sneaking around at night. Astrid had to admit that her mother's teasing and thinly veiled sexual jokes and suggestions were making her curious about what it was really like.

"Okay, Astrid, if that's what you really want," her mother said with a wink, and Astrid took a deep breath to calm herself. She glanced over her shoulder again when she heard talking coming from the dining room. Her father's voice reminded her of something that had been bothering her all day.

"Mother? Is father angry that I… stole the Flightmare from him?" she asked as she grabbed a knife to help Kirsten cut vegetables.

The older woman sighed deeply, before smiling. "He's not angry. Not at all! In fact, I think he's very proud of you and Hiccup," she said, and Astrid smiled as well, though she wasn't sure if it was the whole truth.

"But he was so eager to kill the Flightmare!" she said, but Kirsten just shook her head.

"Astrid, here's the thing. Your father is someone who needs a… purpose in life. He can only be really happy if he's pursuing a goal. And when he has a goal, he'll put all his might into succeeding. When we were younger, that goal was courting me. Then it was taking care of Erik, and when… Erik died, it became about raising you and fighting dragons. I think that he… hasn't really found a new goal after the war ended. I think the Flightmare became a goal for him for a short while, but even if he had killed it, that would still have been the end of that goal. It wouldn't have made him happy," Kirsten said with a soft smile, and Astrid nodded.

She supposed that made sense. It was hard, though, to think of her father as lost and without purpose. He had always been her anchor, providing advice and guidance.

"He'll find something new, Astrid. Don't worry about it. He just needs some time to find a new hobby," Kirsten said when she didn't respond, and Astrid nodded, before tossing the carrots in the cooking pot. As she turned back to the counter where Kirsten was still peeling onions, she noticed her mother had a grin on her face. Astrid braced herself, recognizing the expression her mother had just before another barrage of teasing.

"You know, if you and Hiccup gave him some grandkids, that would give him something to do," Kirsten said, clearly on the verge of laughter, and Astrid had to restrain herself from screaming. She was getting so fed up with her mother's jokes and teasing.

"Of course, you shouldn't let Hiccup steal your honor! After all, you just regained it!" her mother continued, and something in Astrid snapped. She was done. She couldn't take one more of her mother's stupid jokes. They made her feel foolish, and the worst thing was that she couldn't do anything to stop them. Her mother would probably tease her until she actually got married. Why couldn't Hiccup just man up and ask her father for a contract already?!

"You know what, mother? I give up! You win." she shouted, before running into the dining room where her father and Hiccup were sitting. Without thinking she marched her way to Hiccup and punched his shoulder.

"Hiccup, listen to me. You are going to ask my father for my hand right now. Starting tomorrow, we are going to be betrothed!" she stated. Because of the red haze she didn't see how Hiccup's expression changed from confused to terrified.

"Wh-What? Ask your dad to… No!" he shouted, and the statement was followed by dead silence. The no pulled Astrid from her rage, and she suddenly felt incredibly stupid. Hiccup didn't want to marry her. But she tried to force him anyway. In front of her parents.

"No, wait, I meant… No! Shit, I meant… Oh!" Hiccup suddenly stuttered, before burying his face in his hands with a loud groan. Astrid was terrified she might have caused a dark day right in front of her parents. But she didn't know what to do. She was still reeling from his admission that he didn't want to marry her.

"Okay, I think you two need to be alone and talk," Kirsten said, before pulling her husband from his seat.

"B-But he was going to-" Tolfdir said, gesturing at Hiccup, shutting up when Kirsten gave him the deadliest glare Astrid had ever seen. "Okay, I could use some fresh air," her father quickly said, before following his wife outside and shutting the door behind him. The room was silent again, with Astrid standing next to the table Hiccup had all but lain his face on, still covered by his hands. She hoped she hadn't pushed him too hard and broken something in their relationship.

"Hiccup? Are you okay? I'm not mad," she said as she sat down next to him. It was true, mostly. She was a little insulted that he refused her. But her shame and fear were far more important right now.

"Why don't you want to marry me?" she eventually asked after a minute of silence in which Hiccup kept hiding from her. The question seemed to knock him out of his shock.

"I do want to marry you!" he exclaimed, before groaning again. "I screwed up, didn't I?" he asked, and before he could cover his face again she grabbed his hand, writing their symbol for 'no' over and over with her finger. "No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that," she said when his breathing calmed a little again.

"Why did you say no?" Astrid asked, scared of the answer. Hiccup just shook his head and turned away from her. She moved back a little, giving him some space.

"Because… Because this wasn't how I wanted it to go. I… I was planning it. I'm making rings and a sword. I wanted to ask you next month, at the Midsummer feast. We would be going on a flight on Toothless, and then a private picnic in the cove, and I wanted to propose to you then. When it's just the two of us. And then we could ask your parents and my dad for a contract together," he slowly said, and Astrid hugged him from behind.

Of course Hiccup wanted it to happen like that. Their relationship had always been something that was private. The important things, like their first flight, him entrusting her with Toothless, his dark days, combat training, those things happened between them and no one else.

"I'm sorry, Hiccup. I wasn't thinking. We can still do it that way. I can wait a month," she said as she pulled him a little closer to her, and he sighed.

"But it was supposed to be a surprise. And… what will your parents think if I don't ask them for a contract now?" he asked, and she sighed. Her mother would never let her live that down.

"How about this: We ask my parents and your dad for a contract now. Then we'll be officially engaged, and that should stop my mother and everyone else from bothering us for a while. But we don't have to get married straight away. We can still go on that date on Midsummer, and then when you propose, we can talk about how long we want to wait until we have the wedding," she suggested, and Hiccup slowly nodded.

They held each other for a few minutes, until Hiccup pulled out of her embrace.

"I'd love to sit like this for a little while longer, but I think your parents are freezing out there," he said with a smile, and they stood up. Astrid squeezed his hand one last time, thankful they were still okay, before opening the front door. Tolfdir and Kirsten were standing outside, softly talking, though they stopped their conversation when they saw Astrid. Kirsten looked nervous, and Tolfdir looked tired. But their faces brightened when they saw Hiccup and Astrid holding hands.

"We talked about it, and I think Hiccup has something to say," Astrid said after they all sat down. Under the table, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it, before drawing a little heart with her thumb to encourage him.

"Okay… Uhm… I don't actually know how to do this, but here we go anyway… I… care a great deal about Astrid, and I want to marry her. And she wants to marry me as well. So… I want to ask you for her hand in marriage. I'm sure my father will agree, so I hope we can negotiate a contract very soon," Hiccup stuttered, and Astrid could barely stop herself from making embarrassing noises from the excitement. It was starting to hit her. They were going to get married!

Her parents looked at each other for a few seconds, having one of their silent conversations, before her father spoke up. "You have our blessing. To be honest, you were not the son-in-law I was expecting, but now we see that there's no one who could make Astrid happier than you. I'll talk to Stoick tomorrow."

The moment her father stopped talking Astrid threw her arms around Hiccup and pulled him towards her, kissing him on the cheek. A moment later she blushed when she realized her parents were still watching them, so she reluctantly let Hiccup go slightly, though she didn't completely release him.

Astrid couldn't stop smiling, and she saw Hiccup looked happy as well. But their happy moment was cut short when a horrible smell reached her nose, and smoke appeared from the kitchen. Kirsten jumped up, swearing loudly, before calling for Astrid to help her save the forgotten food that was now burning.

Reluctantly, Astrid let go of Hiccup and ran after her mother. As they put out the fire and looked at the charred remains of the vegetables, another smile appeared on Kirsten's face.

"I hope Hiccup will get better food than this when he lives in your household. You better not forget the cooking then!" she said with a laugh, and Astrid groaned loudly. So much for stopping her mother's teasing.


	10. Legends Old and New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiccup and Astrid have made their relation official, but they still have a private date planned. Before that, however, the Midsummer Feast takes place! A time of festivities, eating, dancing, and honoring the gods. This year, however, Astrid's mother has something extra planned. The storyteller has written a play about Hiccup the Blind and Astrid the Scarred. But are the lovebirds really happy about this?

Hiccup smiled when Astrid pressed a little closer against him. It was rare for her to be so affectionate in public. But he supposed they were pretty hidden, sitting in the back of the Great Hall. He couldn't be sure, but he believed most of the assembled Vikings were facing the center of the room. Toothless was lazing next to them, sleepy after devouring a huge pile of fish. Meanwhile, Astrid was sitting between his legs, her back against his chest, and he had his arms around her. Perfect.

It was moments like these that he realized how lucky he was to have her. They didn't even have to talk to be this… close. All he needed was her hands in his, lying in her lap. She'd occasionally lean back a little and whisper in his ear about what was happening on stage, but the simple act of holding her was the best thing Hiccup could ever wish for.

And he hoped that after tonight, it could be certain that he'd hold her for the rest of his life. Sure, they had been officially engaged for a month now. Their parents had worked out the details of the contract very quickly, almost like they'd been expecting it. But it hadn't felt real to Hiccup yet. It wouldn't be real and meaningful until he'd propose, really propose, to Astrid. In their own hidden spot in the cove, after a private dinner and a romantic flight under the stars. That would happen tonight, after the feast. He had it all planned out. He could feel the ring in a hidden pocket in his vest.

But for now, he was more than content to sit there with her as they listened to the various performances. It was a strange mix of being alone with Astrid in his black room and still being in the middle of a group of laughing and happy Vikings.

Astrid was laughing at something that happened on stage, and feeling her shake in his arms made Hiccup happier than ever. The previous performance, an archery competition, was just ending, and Hiccup was curious to learn what the next thing would be.

"My fellow Vikings!" Kirsten said loudly, "I can see that you're having fun! We can eat to our heart's content. We have more than enough meat, fish and bread to fill our bellies. But we shouldn't forget that the gods gave us this food. They blessed us this year. We are at peace, we have food, building materials, and above all, we are blessed with our new dragon companions. So the least we can do to repay them is to remember their struggles, their stories, and their might," Astrid's mother continued, and Hiccup relaxed when he realized this would be the part of the feast where legends were told and gods were honored.

"In previous years we often honored Thor or Odin on this day. For good reason! They gave us the strength to fight our war, gave us the power to defend ourselves. But I think that this year, it is best to honor a different god. A god who must have helped us to end the dragon war," The storyteller stated, and Hiccup frowned. This was new. Usually the gods of war were honored during Midsummer.

"I think that on this day, we should remember the tale of Baldr. Baldr is a god many of us have scoffed at in the past. He is the god of mercy and of goodness. It is said that he is the most beautiful person in Asgard, with skin and hair that shine like the sun. He is also brave and just, as makes sense for a son of Odin and Frigg," Kirsten explained, and Hiccup smiled.

Leaning forward a little, he whispered in Astrid's ear: "Sounds like you, milady." He suppressed a laugh when he felt her stiffen before relaxing in his arms, almost sensing the blush.

"How would you know?" she whispered back, and he squeezed her hand.

"I remember your shining hair, and as far as I'm concerned, you're my light. You're beautiful and good and brave and just," he told her, and she relaxed more in his arms, squeezing his hands as they turned their attention back to the stage.

"Baldr was beloved by all the gods, so when Baldr told them he had a dream that he would die, all were scared. But Baldr's mother, Frigg, promised them no harm would come upon Baldr. She would go to all things, living and dead, and make them promise never to hurt the fair god. And so it happened. Frigg walked the nine worlds, and everything eagerly promised to keep Baldr safe. But Frigg forgot one creature. She thought the tiny mistletoe was too small to ask such a promise from. After all, how could her brave and wise son die from mistletoe?" Kirsten asked ominously, and Hiccup held Astrid a little tighter.

"I promise never to harm you, milady," he whispered in her ear, and she scoffed. "Like you even could," she replied coolly. But he sensed her smile.

"Out of all the gods, it was perhaps Baldr's twin brother Hodt who loved him the most. Hodt, unfortunately, was blind. And though he was strong and wise, he rarely got to participate in the god's parties and fights," Kirsten explained further. Hiccup felt Astrid lean back, before saying "Sounds like you, babe."

Hiccup wondered if Kirsten was trying to honor them as well, through this tale of the gods that were so much like them.

"I certainly love you more than anyone else," he said as he turned his attention back to the tale.

"But of course, no one is loved by everybody. The evil Loki was jealous of Baldr's strength and wisdom, so he devised a way to kill him. The trickster discovered that the tiny mistletoe hadn't promised not to hurt Baldr. So he plucked the plant and made a spear from it. Then he went to Odin's Hall, where the gods were entertaining themselves. They were so happy by the news of Baldr's invincibility they decided to test it by throwing all kinds of weapons at him. Spears, knives, arrows, all bounced harmlessly off Baldr's body," Kirsten told them, and Hiccup put his arms a little tighter around Astrid, trying to protect her. He remembered this tale, and it didn't end well.

"Hodt was standing in the corner of the Hall, saddened that he couldn't take part in the game. The other gods would laugh at him if he tried to throw something and missed, so he didn't dare. Loki noticed Hodt's distress, so he disguised his voice and went up to the blind brother. And he told Hodt that he had a spear he could throw, and he would even help Hodt aim it," Kirsten continued, and Hiccup tensed, knowing what would come next.

"Hodt eagerly agreed, not sensing that he was being tricked. So he took the mistletoe spear, and with Loki's help, threw it at Baldr," the storyteller said, stopping for a dramatic pause in which the entire hall fell silent.

"The mistletoe didn't know better and simply pushed through Baldr's body, piercing his heart and killing him instantly. The gods looked around in panic, seeing Loki and Hodt. Loki fled, but Hodt stayed where he was, not knowing what had happened. Vali, his and Baldr's youngest brother, was so furious he attacked Hodt, killing him," Kirsten told with a heavy voice, and the entire Hall remained unusually silent.

"You better not throw a spear at me," Astrid said, and his smile fell. He was often scared of hurting her by accident. He could stab her during combat training, push her off a cliff he didn't know was there, or knock her into something sharp. And it wouldn't be the first time he had harmed her.

"Maybe I already did. Remember the trial? Remember the dragon training finale? We were both banished then, because of me. Just like how Baldr and Hodt were killed," he said with a sigh. He didn't think he'd be able to take it if he killed Astrid, even by accident. He'd rather die.

"And so, both brothers ended up in Helheim. The gods were horrified by Baldr's death, and begged Hel to send Baldr back to Asgard. Hel agreed to release him if every creature, living or dead, cried for Baldr. All did, except for the giantess Thokk, who was Loki in disguise. And so Baldr the good and wise remained in Helheim with his brother," Kirsten continued, and Hiccup sighed.

"At least they stayed together," he told Astrid, who nodded.

"But that's not the end of the tale. Perhaps Baldr and Hodt were actually lucky. For they are unable to take part in the battle of Ragnarok. They won't die as the other gods will, and when Surt destroys the world, he will tear Helheim apart as well. And so the brothers will be released, finding themselves in a broken and burned world. But wise Baldr and strong Hodt shall see life in the devastation, and decide to rebuild the world. And so, because of Baldr and Hodt, and even Loki, the world will be reborn and the cycle can begin again." Kirsten finished her tale.

"Maybe that's a good omen for us. Maybe the Red Death was Ragnarok, and now we're the ones who remake Berk," Astrid said, and Hiccup smiled as he kissed her cheek. It was a strangely similar tale to their own. He wondered if Hodt lost his leg when Helheim burned down.

"Well, let's follow Baldr's and Hodt's example and never be apart, milady," he whispered in Astrid's ear, and she grabbed his hand again, drawing a heart with her finger. Hiccup sighed in contentment, wondering what he'd done to deserve her.

* * *

Astrid relaxed a little more in Hiccup's embrace. Normally she wouldn't be this cuddly with him in public, but this was a special occasion. They were warm, fed, and entertained. No one would bother them here. No one would comment on their hugs or stolen kisses.

And besides, her insides fluttered every time she remembered Hiccup would propose to her tonight. She could barely wait.

"But we shouldn't just remember the tales of the gods. Although the gods made us, they do not control our actions. And we would still be at war with the dragons if it wasn't for the actions of two brave people," Kirsten stated, and she perked up. What was this about?

Suddenly, Tuffnut climbed on top of the central stage, stopping next to her mother. But he wasn't wearing his usual outfit. No, he was wearing a faded green shirt and a worn brown vest, and breeches with scorch marks on them. Strangest of all, Tuffnut's long hair was actually dyed brown and tied up to look shorter.

"What the… Are those your clothes? Why is Tuffnut wearing your clothes?" she asked Hiccup when she recognized his old outfit, and he drew a question mark on her hand, asking her to elaborate.

"Tuffnut just climbed on stage, and he's wearing your old clothes," she whispered, almost jumping up when she saw Ruffnut appearing on stage as well, wearing a familiar outfit.

"What?! Ruffnut is wearing my clothes! And… That's my axe! She stole my axe!" she whispered loudly, Hiccup's strong grip on her arms the only thing stopping her from marching over there and taking her stuff back.

"So, to celebrate and honor our newest heroes, I wrote a play, so that we and future generations can all remember the tale of Hiccup the Blind and Astrid the Strong!" Kirsten announced to great applause, and she could see Hiccup's jaw dropping in the corner of her eye. Her mother actually wrote something based on their lives?

Oh gods, how much did she know? How embarrassing would this be? How much teasing would she have to endure publicly?

Hiccup seemed to be having the same worries, tensing around her.

"Long ago, a great war raged. Dragon fought man in brutal battles of claw against sword," Kirsten ominously began as her father, looking very embarrassed, climbed on stage. Moments later dragons flew in and started mock-fighting Tolfdir.

"They actually dragged Meatlug and Hookfang into this," Astrid whispered with a chuckle as the temperature in the Hall increased from the fire Hookfang was shooting into the air. Or was that just the embarrassment?

"In these dark times, young men and women were trained to fight dragons. It was a rite of passage to pass 'dragon training'," Kirsten said as Ruffnut stepped forward, swinging Astrid's axe.

"I'm Astrid Hofferson, and I like hitting things! And I think everybody should do their best in dragon training!" Ruffnut stated with a strange voice as she flicked her new bangs away from her eye, and Astrid was filled with anger.

She did not sound like that!

"Easy, Astrid. It's just a play," Hiccup whispered as he tightened his grip on her arms, and she settled for growling softly.

"And I'm Hiccup Haddock, and I keep destroying things with my inventions!" Tuffnut said in a very nasal voice, and Astrid couldn't stop a snort of laughter from escaping at the surprisingly accurate impression. Hiccup groaned behind her, whispering "I don't sound like that, do I?"

She decided not to answer that.

Tuffnut then lifted a machine up to the stage that she recognized as Hiccup's old bola launcher. Astrid couldn't stop another laugh from escaping when she saw Snotlout climb up on the other side of the stage. He was dressed in all black, with black wings and a tail, and looked very miserable.

"I'm gonna be the first to kill a Night Fury!" Tuffnut stated as he aimed the launcher at Snotlout. A second later the machine fired, narrowly missing Snotlout's foot and instead hitting a Viking in the audience.

Astrid wasn't sure if that was intentional or not.

"I hit it! I actually hit a Night Fury!" Tuffnut shouted, and that seemed to make Snotlout remember his lines. The boy in the dragon costume cried out loudly, shouting "My tail, my tail!" in the worst acting she had ever seen. Holding his tail, Snotlout quickly jumped off stage and hid among the audience again. She heard Hiccup chuckling behind her, and Astrid figured that this play might not be so bad.

"No you didn't! You're lying! And you never pay attention in dragon training either! You can't even deal with one Nadder!" Ruffnut said angrily as she stomped over to her brother. At the same time a familiar dragon appeared.

"Stormfly?! Are you in on this? Is everybody in on this?!" Astrid whispered angrily as Tuffnut pushed the machine off the stage.

"A-A-A-A-Astrid! D-D-Did you know you look amazing when you're angry?" Tuffnut stuttered, and Hiccup tensed behind her, his grip on her almost painful.

As Tuffnut stuttered, Stormfly chewed on Astrid's axe, and afterward Ruffnut turned a full circle, showing the axe to the entire audience.

"Because of that runt, my axe is ruined! I'm so angry! And it's all your fault, Haddock!" the female twin shouted as she turned back to Tuffnut, who fell over and crawled away from her. Hiccup's breathing quickened behind her, and she turned to see his jaw clenched. He clearly didn't like listening to this part. And if she were honest, Astrid didn't like this part either. She knew it was an important part of the story, _their story,_ but that didn't mean she liked to be reminded of it.

"Oh, no no no no no! It's not my fault! Sure, I tried to protect this innocent Nadder from your vile aggression, but that doesn't make this my fault!" Tuffnut quickly said, all the while scooting backward. In any other situation Astrid might have found it funny, but this hit too close to home.

"Oh yes, it is your fault! If you had taken dragon training more seriously and fought that Nadder like you were supposed to, my axe would be okay!" Ruffnut shouted angrily, before swinging the axe in Tuffnut's direction. Astrid closed her eyes, knowing what would come next.

"Aah! My eyes! They're burning! They're melting! Aargh!" Tuffnut screamed. Hiccup's arms started to tremble and his head shook violently. Astrid quickly turned around to him, grabbing his hands and pushing his face into her neck when she sensed his distress.

"It's okay, Hiccup. I'm right here. It's just a play. It's nothing like how it really happened. It's all in the past," she whispered to him, trying to stay strong and prevent him from having a dark day, even though memories of his burned face and terrified screams flooded her mind as well.

Astrid was too busy calming Hiccup to pay attention to the stage. Thankfully none of the Vikings seemed to notice their distress. When Hiccup finally calmed down and she turned back, Tuffnut had just reappeared on stage, wearing a blindfold.

"Alas, in her rage, Astrid crippled her classmate. There was nothing the healers or even the gods could do. Hiccup… was blinded and scarred," Kirsten narrated from her position at the edge of the stage, and Astrid felt like throwing up. She hadn't thought about those events for a long time. Sure, she thought about Hiccup's blindness, and how it affects them, but she hadn't thought about the cause. About how she was the cause.

Tuffnut stumbled around the stage, clearly lost. Suddenly Snotlout appeared as well, wearing a huge Night Fury mask on his head. The comical sight almost made Astrid smile again.

"But somehow, the loss of his eyes made Hiccup see something completely new. The details of what happened between the blind boy and the dragon he found in the forest are lost to the sands of time. We will now show what likely happened," Kirsten continued to narrate as Snotlout walked around the stage, not really acting much like a Night Fury.

With a loud growl, Snotlout pounced the stumbling Tuffnut, throwing them both to the ground. "You destroyed my tail fin! For that you must die!" the Night Fury shouted, before covering Tuffnut's head with the large mask.

Tuffnut screamed in panic, but then there was a sudden silence as the mask kept moving up and down over his head.

"Why isn't it working! I want to eat you, but you're too small and thin to eat!" Snotlout stated in the blandest voice Astrid had ever heard, and she wondered why they couldn't have found a better actor.

"I'm not too small! In fact, I'm the strongest Viking on this island!" Tuffnut declared in an over-the-top voice, and Astrid heard a chuckle behind her. Hiccup was laughing slightly at the ridiculous scene.

"No, the real problem is clear! You can't eat me because my skin is too strong for your teeth! All your teeth fell out! You're Toothless!" Tuffnut continued as he pulled himself away from the huge mask and pointed out the lack of teeth to the audience. The real Toothless lazily opened one eye when his name was called, but quickly huffed and went back to sleep. Hiccup laughed louder then, and Astrid couldn't help but join in. She knew the real story, and this was as far away from that as it could ever be.

"I can't replace your teeth, but I will fix your tail," Tuffnut said as he took one of Snotlout's hands (paws?) and went down to one knee, like he was proposing. Snotlout growled blandly, and leaned his head down a little.

"To complete our bond of friendship, I will now do my weird hand-thingy that I can't seem to explain well to any member of the Dragon Academy, Tuffnut in particular!" the male twin said. The statement made Hiccup erupt in laughter, before moving his arms to their old places around Astrid again. Astrid laughed as well, both from the happiness of seeing Hiccup's good mood return and from the comical scene of Snotlout leaning against Tuffnut's grasping fingers.

Moments later, the 'Night Fury' quickly 'flew away', hiding among the audience again.

"Hiccup had seen the truth of dragons. They could be kind and friendly. But he knew that not many would feel that way. Notably Astrid, who was assigned to take care of him," Kirsten narrated as Ruffnut entered the stage again.

"What are you doing out in the forest?" she exclaimed angrily as she swung the axe.

Tuffnut stuttered something, but his sister wouldn't let him finish. "It's your fault you broke my axe, so you better teach me how to fix it!" Ruffnut stated as she pulled him up and led him to a makeshift forge in the corner of the stage.

"Originally, Astrid just wanted to fix her axe. But as they worked together to reforge her weapon, she discovered a horrible truth: She actually liked working with Hiccup!" Kirsten stated with mock horror, and Astrid felt a blush come to her face.

"Oh no, Hiccup's manly blacksmithing is making me feel weird inside! I don't like feeling like this! I better punch him for doing this to me!" Ruffnut said, before doing just that.

"Mother!" Astrid couldn't hold it in anymore, the embarrassment was too great. She did not sound like that! And… it hadn't been like that at all. Not… really, at least. Not as stupid as Ruffnut made it seem now! Hiccup laughed at her exclamation, and she huffed. Gods, he better not be getting any weird ideas about her. How had her mother even found out about that? Had Gobber told her?

Kirsten smiled when her daughter's yell reached her, but she clearly didn't let that distract her from telling the story.

"We do not know exactly how Astrid and Toothless met, so this is again, a guess," Kirsten said before stepping back again, letting Tuffnut and Snotlout take the stage.

"Aww, who's a good dragon? You are! Yes, you're a cute dragon! Aww!" Tuffnut exclaimed as he rubbed the Night Fury mask, to Snotlout's clear annoyance. Hiccup made an insulted sound, muttering "I don't sound like that!", but Astrid's attention was drawn by Ruffnut sneaking up on the pair.

"Hiccup! What are you doing?!" Ruffnut shouted when she 'saw' the pair, making Tuffnut jump up.

"Hi Astrid! This is my buddy Toothless! He's the coolest guy in the world apart from Tuffnut! Toothless, this is Astrid!" Tuffnut said as he tried to gesture between them, getting their places comically wrong because of the blindfold still covering his face.

"What? You betrayed us! And I thought you were nice!" Ruffnut shouted, before moving away in an exaggerated slow run.

"Oh no! Astrid is going to tell on us! We have to catch her, Toothless!" Tuffnut said before climbing on Snotlout's back. When he was in a relatively stable piggyback position, Snotlout started running after Ruffnut. The pair quickly overtook her, and Snotlout grabbed her in his 'paws'.

"Hiccup! Get me down! Your dragon is going to eat me!" Ruffnut shouted, hitting Snotlout with the flat side of the axe.

"No, not until I show you the awesomeness of dragons!" Tuffnut said, and Astrid chuckled again. Would future generations really think this was what happened?

Would the current generation think that? Gods, how could she ever face them after this?

"Fine!" Ruffnut said with an exaggerated angry expression, and before climbing on Snotlout's back as well, piggybacking on Tuffnut. Snotlout clearly had trouble carrying both twins, swaying on his feet with every step as he walked around the stage.

"And as they went on a flight together, Astrid realized that dragons didn't want to fight. And she wondered how she couldn't have seen something that was so obvious! Of course, even though she had seen one obvious truth now, she remained blind to her clear attraction to Hiccup," Kirsten stated, drawing another "Mother! Really?!" from Astrid, who immediately hid her face in her hands when all the Vikings turned to look at their little corner.

"Did you actually like me back then?" Hiccup asked, the amusement clear in his voice as he held her a little tighter, and she shook her head.

"No. No! At least, I don't think so. I don't know, it's tough to say when I started… feeling like that," she admitted in a soft voice, and he smiled.

"So you like me now?" he asked in a teasing voice, and she punched his arm.

"You know I do," she muttered, feeling far too embarrassed. Gods, two years passed and he still made her feel mushy and stupid.

"Together, they repaired Toothless' tail fin. And Astrid learned tricks from Hiccup that she would use in dragon training," Kirsten continued as Ruffnut and Tuffnut jumped off Snotlout's back, to his clear relief. Ruffnut then knelt in front of Tuffnut.

"Oh, great master of dragons! Share your secrets with me, your humble apprentice," Ruffnut said, and Astrid felt a pang of anger when she saw herself in such a submissive position. Would this play get anything right?

Apart from the part where Hiccup was blinded?

"Very well, young grasshopper. I will teach you the ways of the dragon. I will also explain how this war started. An evil dragon, the offspring of Loki and Surt, is controlling the dragons," Tuffnut said, and Hiccup laughed again. "Could they get how we discovered all of that any more wrong?" he whispered, making her smile when she realized they had been thinking the same thing.

"With her new knowledge, Astrid easily made it to the dragon training finale! But in this finale, she'd have to kill a Monstrous Nightmare! The chief had decided that her punishment for hurting Hiccup would depend on her performance against the dragon" Kirsten said, gesturing at Hookfang flying in and landing on the stage. Ruffnut appeared on the other side, axe and shield in hand.

"I refuse to fight this dragon!" she stated as she dropped her weapons. Then Fishlegs appeared on stage, wearing an oversized cape and a carrying a large hammer.

"H-How dare you! A-And here I-I was, thinking you'd be a good daughter-in-law! But I, S-Stoick the Vast, demand that this fight is stopped!" Fishlegs stuttered, not really sounding like Stoick at all.

There were a few seconds of awkward silence in which Ruffnut apparently forgot her line. Suddenly the female twin raised her middle finger at Fishlegs, making the audience, and Kirsten, gasp. Astrid briefly smiled when she realized that wasn't in the script. Moments later Hookfang 'attacked', clearly responding to one of Snotlout's signals.

"No! Astrid!" Tuffnut shouted as he ran onto the stage, immediately running straight into Hookfang's legs.

"No. Hiccup." Snotlout said without any real emotion as he ran on the stage as well, before 'fighting off' Hookfang and driving him off the stage.

"Order! O-Order! Stop! Capture them!" Fishlegs said as he pointed at the three other riders, and Hiccup's grip on Astrid tightened again. She knew he blamed himself for their failure in the finale.

"Hiccup, Astrid and Toothless were captured. Hiccup was interrogated by his father first," Kirsten spoke in a heavy voice, and Hiccup's grip became tighter. He had never told her what Stoick had said to him that horrible day, and Astrid wasn't sure if she wanted to know.

"You befriended a dragon? How dare you?!" Fishlegs said before turning away, but Tuffnut jumped after him, grabbing his foot and hanging on to it.

"No, father! The dragons are innocent! They live on an island only they can find, and there's a big dragon there!" Tuffnut stated, and Fishlegs pretended to hit him.

"Stop your lies. You're not my son," the big boy said as he walked offstage, nearly tripping over the huge cape.

"Is that what happened?" she softly asked Hiccup, who nodded. "Basically," he eventually whispered.

"Stoick took Toothless and the Vikings to Dragon Island to root out the Red Death. Meanwhile, Astrid and Hiccup formed a plan to stop them."

"We can't do this alone! We need the help of the amazing Thorston twins!" Tuffnut said, and Ruffnut nodded. "Yeah, and Fishlegs and Snotlout as well. But they're not as important!" she said, and moments later Stormfly, Meatlug, Hookfang, and Barf and Belch appeared.

"As dragon master, you will obey me! You will carry me and my slaves, I mean, my fellow riders, to Dragon Island!" Tuffnut said as he gestured wildly at the dragons, dodging a fireball shot by a bored Hookfang.

"And so it happened. The six teenagers, who would later go on to found the Dragon Academy, flew out to stop the fighting. But when they arrived, the battle was already going on," Kirsten narrated as a large wooden dragon Astrid recognized as the Red Death was lifted on to the stage. Meanwhile, various voices shouted panicky lines from amid the audience.

"Save us!"

"Why didn't we listen to Hiccup?!"

"Odin help us!"

"Toothless was stuck on a ship, bound in chains!" Kirsten continued as a chained Snotlout entered the stage.

"There! We must save him!" Tuffnut shouted as he and Ruffnut landed on stage atop Stormfly. Astrid briefly wondered how much chicken they must have bribed Stormfly with for her to go along with all this, before turning her attention back to the story.

"The couple managed to free Toothless as the other teenagers distracted the monster, but all knew that Hiccup, the blind dragon master, was the only one with the vision needed to kill the demon!" Kirsten continued as the twins removed the chains and Tuffnut once again climbed on Snotlout's back.

Snotlout then began to run around the wooden model, occasionally punching or kicking it. "Eventually they managed to strike the killing blow. But not without paying a terrible price," Kirsten said ominously, and Astrid could feel Hiccup tense up again, his left leg vibrating slightly. She squeezed his hand, hoping he wouldn't get a phantom pain.

Tuffnut grabbed a small piece of flint from his pocket and lit a fuse on the wooden dragon. A few seconds later there was a loud bang, followed by large clouds of smoke pouring out of the dragon's mouth. The smoke engulfed the room, making the audience cough and gasp. Astrid closed her eyes when she remembered the smoke after the real Red Death died. That horrible fear when she couldn't find Hiccup. The panic when she saw his damaged leg. The pain when she removed the hot metal twisted around his ankle.

When her breathing calmed down a little she opened her eyes again, just in time to see the smoke clearing. The wooden dragon was gone, and Snotlout and Tuffnut were lying on the ground.

"Hiccup!" Ruffnut shouted as she ran towards them, dramatically gasping when she touched her brother's leg. Suddenly, and with a loud bang, a fake leg fell out of Tuffnut's pants.

"Oh no, my love, your leg fell off!" Ruffnut said, and even though she could still feel the horror she felt when Hiccup's skin disintegrated, Astrid couldn't help but smile at the ridiculous delivery. And when Ruffnut grabbed the 'leg' and tried to shove it back into Tuffnut's pant leg, she couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"No, I'll save you! Even though you're so hot my hands burn when I touch you, I'll put your leg back!" Ruffnut stated as Fishlegs appeared.

"That didn't happen, right?" Hiccup asked, and she shook her head before punching him lightly.

"Stop it, Astrid. There's nothing you can do for him. He died a hero," Fishlegs solemnly said, and another awkward silence fell. But then Snotlout suddenly jumped up.

"He's not dead, you idiots!" he shouted to everyone's surprise, and Astrid doubted that was in the script. Fishlegs was the first to recover from the shock.

"My son lives! And because of his vision, we now have peace between Vikings and dragons!" he stated, and the entire Great Hall applauded.

"After that great battle, the dragons moved to Berk, and so the society you see today was formed. All thanks to two brave Vikings who showed that sometimes, it's the blind people who see the most," Kirsten concluded as the twins stood up and bowed. Fishlegs and Snotlout bowed as well, though Snotlout tripped over his tail and fell back onto the stage, making the Vikings laugh.

"Wow. So that's how we go into history," Hiccup eventually said as the Vikings around them applauded and yelled their approval.

"I suppose. Gods, I didn't know my mother was writing this!" Astrid replied, noticing Kirsten looking in their direction.

"I suppose it could have been worse. At least Mildew didn't write it!" Hiccup said, and she laughed. That was true. But that didn't make it less embarrassing

"But… I prefer our tale. The one only we know. The… not-so-heroic version," he eventually whispered, and she had to agree. The real tale, where she found him in the middle of the night after he had pissed himself. The tale in which he had failed again and again in building a tail fin. In which she had nearly broken his nose in frustration. The tale in which they went on their first true flight under the stars, where Hiccup had shown her the beauty of the sky.

"Let's never tell them. It'll be our secret," she whispered back, and he nodded before hugging her a little tighter.

"Do you want to sneak out now? I have a date planned," he asked, and she eagerly nodded. The play had almost made her forget his plans to propose to her.

Hiccup kissed her cheek as they stood up, before grabbing her hand and waiting for her to lead him out.

"I can't wait to continue our tale," he whispered in her ear, and she had to agree. Their story was far from over.


	11. Out Of Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiccup and Astrid generally make a good team, but problems are inevitable. Especially when one half of the team can't see and is forced to write using lines in copper, and the other half can barely feel said lines. When Astrid has trouble understanding one of Hiccup's inventions, frustrations explode.

Astrid smiled as Hiccup enthusiastically filled another sheet of copper with thin scratches using his small knife. She barely understood how he did it, drawing sketches without having to see. Somehow he only had to run his sensitive fingers over the metal to know what he had drawn.

He made it look so easy. Astrid had never been able to draw or write well. She had never mastered the subtle art of the precise movements necessary for it, and she certainly never had the patience to learn. It had always felt like a useless skill. Why would she need to draw figures or schematics? She had much preferred learning to fight, the ache in her body after a grueling training session a far greater reward than a pretty drawing.

And now, with her scarred hands, it was harder than ever to hold a quill or charcoal pen.

She took her eyes away from Hiccup's nimble hands for a moment to look around the room. Toothless was sleeping on his stone slab in the corner. The desk was cluttered with tools, models, and a burning candle that she would have to blow out when she left, because Hiccup would forget about it. He didn't need candlelight after all, unlike Astrid who could barely see in the evening darkness. Astrid often wondered how he found things in the chaotic mess, but she knew he had a system of sorts, and he'd get irritated if anything was moved without his permission.

Old drawings made of charcoal and paper were pinned to the walls of his room. He had no need for them now, it wasn't like he could see the old and outdated sketches of dragons anymore, but they had never gotten around to throwing them away. Astrid wasn't sure if he even realized the drawings were there, but she liked having them around. They were a reminder that Hiccup had not always been blind.

There were even more drawings in the forge. Schematics for weapons and ships, catapults and axes. Violent things that Hiccup had once dreamed up to kill dragons. She didn't like seeing those designs. Hiccup's brilliant mind had been focused on producing ways to kill and impress. Of course, now that everything has changed, he made schematics of better, more peaceful things. Cranes, stables, watermills, farming equipment, mines, the list went on and on.

But because of her, he now drew them on copper instead of paper. Because of her he was writing and drawing in a way only they could read. Because of her, paper was useless to him. She tried not to think about that too much. He had forgiven her for it, and they had left it behind.

But on days like this she wondered if she could ever fully forgive herself.

"Okay, I'm done! This forge should work! There's enough room for the Gronkle's lava, and the heat should be distributed evenly!" Hiccup said as he put his knife down and picked up the sheet of copper. Astrid couldn't see anything different about the sheet, but she knew it contained the secrets to Hiccup's newest idea: A Gronkle-powered forge. Feeding a Gronkle abundant sandstone and then using the lava for heat was much cheaper than using coal, and would hopefully produce less smoke and grime.

The next village council meeting was tomorrow, so they had to hurry if they wanted to present it then. Hiccup, with her help, had completed the first step: Producing the actual design. But the most difficult part was yet to come.

Although the council's faith in Hiccup's designs was slowly increasing, they were still skeptical of anything they couldn't see for themselves. And they were unable to read Hiccup's copper drawings, the ridges too small and faint for them to distinguish. So Astrid would have to copy his design on actual paper to show the council.

And if the proposal was accepted, her paper drawing would be used by the builders to construct the actual forge.

"Good! It better not explode like the last one!" Astrid said as she took the schematic from him, placing it in front of her. Then she grabbed a blank sheet of paper from the big stack, took a charcoal pen, and ran her fingers over the copper, trying to determine how big the drawing was.

Copying Hiccup's schematics was hard. Very hard. Seeing the lines, especially in flickering candlelight, was nearly impossible, and the scars on her hands were too thick for her to be able to feel the lines well. Hiccup tried to help by making his lines as wide as possible, but it was still incredibly difficult.

But they managed. Or at least they tried.

Hiccup felt around for the copper sheet as well, rotating it when he found a notch only he could sense in the top. Then he took her fingers in his, gently running her index finger over a wide, but shallow line.

"That's the edge of the bin where the lava will go. The Gronkle will be over here..." Hiccup said as he moved her finger over the contours of the bin, then moved it to a round figure she sort of recognized as a Gronkle.

"The length of the lines is marked next to them as usual. I took Meatlug's size for the Gronkle," he whispered as he finished tracing her hand around the copper dragon. She quickly moved around, finding small numbers next to various lines, indicating how many feet long the part would be in reality.

"Okay, I see," Astrid said as she used her right hand to start drawing, trying to copy the contours of the Gronkle as she felt them. She didn't think she did a very good job, as the head seemed too small compared to the body. But the Gronkle's contours weren't too important.

"Meatlug is four feet high?" she asked, and Hiccup shook his head. "Five," he said, and she silently cursed when she realized she had misread the number.

"And… six feet long?" she said, trying her best to read the number. Any error could be catastrophic, as they had found when she had misread a 12 as 2, having missed the small 1. Because of that error, a support beam had been too thin, causing a crane to collapse when it tried to lift its first load. Ever since, she checked with Hiccup for every number. But even then, errors would still slip through.

"Yes. Are you done with the Gronkle?" Hiccup asked. She drew a final line and marked the number, before saying "Yes."

Hiccup moved her finger again, this time to the drawing of the forge itself. This was the crucial part. Any error here and the forge would explode. They had found that out the hard way.

"Okay, there's a… horizontal line here, and at the end there are two vertical lines. The chute goes through those like this…" Hiccup explained as he quickly moved their fingers over the copper. Astrid tried to keep up, rapidly drawing lines with her right hand as her left hand felt the metal.

"Slow down!" she said when he moved her finger too fast, making her lose track of the line. He muttered an apology, and she frowned. His tone was… odd. Almost angry. She decided to ignore it for now, moving her focus back to the drawing.

"Ah, so now these lines end up at that big vertical line we drew earlier!" Astrid exclaimed some time later when the big picture became clearer, but Hiccup shook his head.

"No they don't! They should end up at the diagonal line that's connected to the chimney," he said as he moved her hand to a line she hadn't noticed before.

"Oh, but I just drew these lines… So they weren't supposed to be this long?" she asked, and Hiccup sighed, briefly clenching his fist.

"No. Time to start over," he muttered, and she sighed as well. She had to focus on the lines, but it was so hard. It was nearly impossible to distinguish actual lines with naturally occurring ridges in the metal.

But she now understood the design better. So she grabbed another sheet of paper and drew the Gronkle again. But it seemed the Gods had found themselves a fun new game, to Hiccup's clear annoyance every time he discovered she had made a mistake.

"No, the lava chute and the exhaust chute are different things, they aren't connected. Let's try again."

"Wait, you thought this was a straight line? It's curved! Can't you feel it?"

"No, it's 8 feet, not 9!"

"No, no, no, no, no! The line is supposed to go like this, and connect to the edge there!"

Hiccup clearly got more frustrated as time went on, making her tense as well. She wished she could do better, but she just didn't know how. The forge was so complicated, with all kinds of exhausts for various gases, temperature alarms, metal filters and other parts she didn't even understand.

"Wait a minute! Which opening is the Gronkle barfing lava into?" Hiccup asked as she drew the forge for the seventh time. Astrid frowned as she grabbed his fingers and moved them over the copper.

"Uh, this one? No wait, it's this one? I'm not sure," she said, trying her best to find the right ridges.

"Oh, for the love of… it's supposed to be over here, Astrid!" Hiccup exclaimed as he moved their hands to the other side of the sheet. What? But… But her drawing was…

"Did you… Did you draw it upside down?" Hiccup asked, the shock clear in his voice. Astrid shook her head.

"No! At least I don't think so! I mean, I thought this was the lava bin, so the lave had to come in through here, right?" she explained, her confusion increasing as she tried to find the lines in the copper corresponding to her drawing.

"No, that's the water bin! The lava bin is below that, to heat the water, and it's… Argh!" Hiccup shouted, wrenching his hand from her grip to rub his face. Astrid wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want to apologize, it wasn't her fault she couldn't feel the faint lines. But for some reason Hiccup seemed more anxious than she had seen him in a long time.

"Have you got any part of the design right? I can't even tell! How can I know if you drew any line correctly?! How can I explain it?! It's like you trying to describe a paper map to me! It's hopeless!" Hiccup exclaimed as he jumped up and started pacing around the room. Astrid had never seen him this worked up.

It scared her a little.

"Hey now, since when do you worry so much? We can try again, right? We did it right plenty of times," she said, trying her best to stay calm in the face of his frustration.

"And we did it wrong plenty of times as well! Remember the crane? Remember the last forge design? It exploded because the chimney wasn't connected to the right chamber. Another copy error!" Hiccup shouted, and Astrid flinched. She hadn't known it was her error that made the forge explode. She thought it had been a construction error.

"I'm sorry, but I'm trying! I just can't feel your drawings!" Astrid said, louder than she intended.

"And that's the problem! What's the point of inventing things and having ideas if I can't communicate them to anyone?!Why can't you just understand what I mean?!" he shouted as he grabbed his chair and threw it to the other side of the room. Toothless growled. The shouting must have woken him up.

Astrid suddenly recognized this behavior. Well, sort of. It was almost like he was having a dark day. But instead of becoming sad and tired, he was energetic and angry. She wasn't sure how to help him with this. Normally she'd hold Hiccup and let him cry, but she didn't think that would help now.

"Hiccup, calm down! We can fix this! We'll just try again, and-" Astrid tried, but Hiccup didn't let her finish.

"And try again and again and again and again! Just like with combat training. And we'll get nowhere! It's all useless!" he screamed, and suddenly he walked over to the desk. Before Astrid could stop him he grabbed the paper drawings she had been working on and began tearing them to pieces.

Astrid was frozen in shock. She had never seen Hiccup so destructive. It was like all the anger and frustration he normally turned inward during a dark day was now focused outward.

Suddenly Hiccup stopped tearing paper and instead felt the desk. A strange grin appeared on his face when he found a blank sheet of copper. To Astrid's horror he broke the soft metal in half on his knee, before screaming in frustration when he felt the piece he was holding and found it blank.

"Where is my design?!" he shouted as he felt the desk again, and Astrid quickly grabbed the design before he could find it, and jumped up.

"I'm not going to let you smash this, Hiccup! You worked too hard on it!" she shouted as she ran to the other side of the room, out of his reach. Hiccup's hands balled into fists as he walked over to her, and for a moment Astrid thought he was going to hit her.

"Rawr?"

They both froze when Toothless warbled in a comforting tone, and Astrid looked down to see him stand next to Hiccup, his eyes big in worry and fear. Then his tongue came out to lick Hiccup's balled fist, and Hiccup's face changed. The anger disappeared and it was replaced with… something Astrid had never seen.

Then his knees buckled, and Hiccup just… collapsed. He fell to his knees, then forward, like he had been knocked unconscious. She managed to catch him as he fell, and guided him to a lying position.

"Hiccup? Hiccup!" she said as she shook him a bit, but Hiccup didn't react. He was as still as a ragdoll, his rapid breathing the only thing that told Astrid he was still conscious.

"Hiccup, talk to me! Say something!" she shouted, terrified by this behavior. She had seen something like this before during his normal dark days. Sometimes he… hid himself in a dark part of his mind, and would barely respond to anything, but he'd at least cry and move to hug her. This was worse. This was… It was almost like he wasn't there anymore.

What could she do? Stoick wasn't home, and she didn't really dare to leave Hiccup alone to get her parents. And she didn't think this was something Hiccup would want others to see.

Suddenly Toothless warbled angrily, before pushing her away from Hiccup. In her surprise she let him. Maybe Toothless knew what to do.

The dragon quickly grabbed Hiccup, dragging him along as Toothless let himself fall to his side. His paws and wings curled tightly around Hiccup, hiding him from Astrid's view. Then Toothless closed his eyes and began humming softly. The procedure went so quickly Astrid wondered if they had done this before. Had Hiccup hidden these attacks from her, like he had done with his nightmares?

She took a deep breath to calm her anger at his stupid noble behavior, before kneeling next to Toothless, reaching her hand out to his wing. The Night Fury raised his head to look at her, before warbling loudly. Astrid wasn't sure what the dragon wanted to say. Should she leave them alone for now? Join in in the hug?

As her thoughts raced, Toothless moved his head to nose at the metal sheet she was still holding, before warbling sadly. Did Toothless want her to finish the copy? That would probably make Hiccup feel better. But could she leave them alone?

Like he was reading her thoughts, Toothless warbled happily, before gesturing at the desk with his head. _"I've got this. I'll take care of Hiccup, you take care of his invention,"_ the dragon seemed to say. So, with a heavy heart she stood up.

"I'm right here, Hiccup. And Toothless is here too. Just say it if you… need me," Astrid said, hoping he could hear her, before quickly scratching Toothless and sitting back down at the desk.

It took a few minutes before she was calm enough to focus on the drawing again. Toothless, meanwhile, comforted Hiccup with practiced ease. He warbled, shook his wings, nosed Hiccup with his head, and though she could see her boyfriend was still silent and unresponsive, she knew he was well taken care of.

So, with a heavy sigh, she grabbed another piece of paper and helped in the only way she knew. It would be even harder without Hiccup there to assist. So Astrid decided to try some other techniques. Noticing the sharpness of the charcoal pen, she dragged the pen over the metal, trying to find the ridges that way. Every time she found one, she'd drag the pen down the line, before copying it on the paper. She nearly gave up when she saw that she drew one of the lines longer than it should have been again. But she refused to give up. She had to be strong now. Hiccup needed her. Hiccup needed the proof that they could still communicate.

So for the next hour Astrid tried to find the lines as best she could, copying the lines and marking her mistakes. But as time went on it only became harder. Chips broke from the pen, making it less sharp and pointed, and the entire sheet of metal became covered in charcoal, making it even harder to see lines.

As she put her twelfth piece of paper aside, a sound reached her ears.

"Toothless?" Hiccup muttered, so softly she had trouble hearing it, and she immediately jumped up and ran over. Toothless looked immensely happy as Hiccup tried to move out of the tight embrace.

"Hiccup? Are you okay?" Astrid asked as she knelt next to them, and Toothless moved his wings out of the way, though he kept Hiccup trapped in his paws.

Hiccup looked very tired, and slightly dazed, but aware. "I'll live," he softly said, and she hesitantly moved forward to embrace him as well as she could with Toothless holding him.

"What happened?" she whispered in his ear, and he stiffened a bit.

"I don't really know. I just got really angry, and then I was… cold. I'm sorry I yelled at you," he whispered, and she grabbed his hand.

"Hiccup… I want you to answer this honestly. I won't be mad. Has this happened before?" she asked, squeezing his hand.

He slowly nodded. "Yeah. Two times. First one was just after I… lost my leg. And the other one was when I was stuck inside because I fell," he said, and she sighed.

"You should have told me. Because just now… I was scared, okay? Because I didn't know what was happening. You have to let me help you. What if Toothless hadn't been here? I wouldn't have known what to do! I'd probably have asked Gothi and your father and my parents!" she said, forcing herself to stop when she noticed she was getting angry. This wasn't a good time for an argument.

"I know. I just… I didn't want you to worry. I thought it wouldn't happen again," he whispered as he squeezed her hand, and she couldn't bring herself to be mad at him.

"It's okay. Just… tell me if there is anything, Hiccup. I want us to communicate," Astrid said, and Hiccup winced at the last word.

"Can we still communicate?" he softly asked, and she held him a little tighter.

"Of course we can. It'll just take time. I tried to copy your design by myself, but I couldn't really do it," she said, and he squeezed her hand softly. It was his way of telling her he was frustrated without saying it.

"Look, Hiccup. We can always get someone else to copy your designs. I bet Fishlegs would love to do it!" she offered, annoyed by his silence. He was always timid after a dark day, and this weird one seemed no different.

"But… But I want to share it with _you_ ," he eventually whispered, and she couldn't help but smile.

"I know. But we'll figure it out. We always have, right?" Astrid said, trying to remain strong in the face of his pessimism. He'd cheer up, he just needed a good night's sleep.

"But what about… when I'm chief? I'll have to write letters, sign treaties, make lists and draw battleplans. What if I can't communicate those to you?" he asked, and she frowned. He rarely mentioned his future chiefdom, preferring to avoid thinking about it. But she knew it would be a problem. She wondered how long he had been worrying about this, letting it fester inside him instead of letting anyone see his 'weakness'.

"We'll think of ways. You can just dictate your letters and I'll write them. You can probably learn to sign your name blindly. And as for drawings… we'll think of something, okay?" she said, and he slowly nodded. She didn't think he was really convinced, but it was the best she could do. Toothless warbled again, and Hiccup moved to scratch the dragon's head.

Astrid looked back at the desk and the pile of used paper, and sighed. "I don't think we'll make progress tonight, Hiccup. Let's just get some rest, and I promise you'll feel better in the morning," she told him, and he nodded, before hugging her again.

"I know. I'm being stupid," he whispered, and she used her free hand to punch his arm.

"No, you're just nervous. I worry about these things too. But we're not going to give up, okay? We still have years and years until you're chief," she said, and he nodded.

"Thanks, Astrid. Thanks for… staying sane when I'm just… so weird," Hiccup whispered, and she held him a little tighter, hoping her hand rubbing his back told him he didn't have to thank her.

Suddenly she heard the front door open, so she quickly stood up and walked to the desk. "I'm going home now. I'll take the papers with me, and I'll try working on it some more, okay? I love you," she said, smiling when he said "Okay. Love you too."

She grabbed the big pile of blank paper and put it on the copper design, before putting her used paper and the charcoal pen on top. Then she grabbed the entire pile, blew the candle out, and walked downstairs, taking a last worried look back at Hiccup, who was now hugging Toothless.

"Hello Astrid! Have you and Hiccup made something for the council meeting tomorrow?" Stoick asked when she reached the living room, and she shook her head.

"We tried, but… we ran into some problems. Hiccup is… a bit upset. I think he wants to be alone right now," she said, hoping it would dissuade Stoick from going upstairs. The chief nodded in understanding.

"Well, maybe next week then, eh? Good night, Astrid," he said, and she nodded in farewell before leaving the house and walking home, trying to think of ways to copy his design as she walked.

"Hello, love! How was your date?" Kirsten asked when Astrid entered her house, and she groaned. She did not have the patience to deal with her mother's teasing right now.

"It wasn't a date, mother. And it didn't go well. I brought some work home," she said as she sat down at the table and put the pile of paper down.

"Ah, I see. I'll leave you to it then. Don't go to bed too late," Kirsten said as she moved to the big bedroom, and Astrid nodded. At least her mother wasn't too difficult today.

With a deep sigh Astrid turned the pile upside down so she could grab the metal sheet from the bottom. She cursed when she moved it away and saw that the charcoal on the copper had rubbed off on the blank paper on the bottom of the pile, ruining it.

"Can nothing go right today?" she muttered as she slid the smudged paper to the side, grabbing the next blank sheet.

Yet, as she started copying the design once again, her eyes were drawn to the ruined paper. It looked kind of funny. But she couldn't be distracted by odd figures. She had to keep copying. But during the next hour she couldn't stop noticing weird things about the charcoal smudges. It was almost completely covered in charcoal, but there were some clean lines crisscrossing the sheet. And oddly enough, that part on the left kind of looked like a Gronkle.

Wait a minute…

She frowned as she slid her drawing aside and grabbed the black paper again. It really did look like a Gronkle. A Gronkle she was very familiar with by now. And the rest of the paper… she could sort of recognize bins and chutes in the white lines. But how?

She looked a little closer at the charcoal-covered paper, suddenly realizing what had happened. When she put the heavy stack of paper on top of the metal, the charcoal had pressed against the paper. But the lower parts of the metal, _where Hiccup had carved his lines_ , hadn't touched the paper, so it remained clean there.

Could she do it again?

With trembling hands she grabbed the charcoal pen and rubbed all over the metal, until it was completely black. Then she took a blank sheet of paper and carefully pressed the metal against it.

A laugh escaped her lips when she moved it away and saw Hiccup's design on the paper. Of course. It was so simple, why hadn't they thought of it before? She had to show Hiccup!

Keeping quiet for a few moments, she heard her parents snore in their bedroom, and she figured she could sneak out. So she grabbed the metal design, the pen, and the pressed paper, and opened the door as quietly as she could, shivering from the cold night air blowing into the house. But she refused to let the cold stop her as she started running up the hill as quickly as she could.

* * *

Hiccup groaned as he turned over in his bed once again, trying to find a comfortable position. He just couldn't relax enough to sleep, even though he was exhausted. He just couldn't stop thinking about what happened earlier. He had been so angry, but it had also felt like… it hadn't really been him. During those… episodes he often felt like he lost control over his body, like some evil spirit took control and forced his mind out.

It scared him. He knew he had been so close to attacking Astrid. He probably would have if Toothless hadn't stopped him. He didn't think he could have hurt her, she'd have him down on the ground in seconds, but it still scared him. The memory made him feel sick.

Thankfully those angry dark days were much rarer than his normal ones. He turned over again, trying not to think about it anymore. He just had to focus on the things he could change! He had to think of a solution for their copying problem. How could he make it easier for Astrid? He had tried different materials that were easier to feel, but none of them worked well. Lines in sand faded almost immediately, and clay was so soft even feeling the lines would erase them.

The only solution he could think of was widening the lines even further. But it seemed like such a waste of copper. He'd need huge pieces of the stuff for his designs, and it would make it much harder for him to understand his drawing.

Of course, the easiest solution was just giving the designs to Fishlegs and letting him copy them. But that felt like losing. Like giving up. It would be the first time he and Astrid were not able to solve something together.

His erratic thoughts were interrupted when his window creaked. Immediately he grabbed the knife under his bed, even though he knew he had no real chance of defending himself against an attacker.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips when he recognized Astrid's footsteps on the windowsill, and a moment later cold air blew in as the window opened.

"Hiccup? Are you awake?" her voice softly asked, and he sat up.

"Yeah, I'm here. Did Toothless get you?" he asked, wondering if Toothless had sneaked out without him noticing.

"No, I just have to show this. I found a way to copy your designs!" Astrid whispered, her excitement barely contained, and he couldn't stop a smile from coming to his face.

"You did? How?" Hiccup asked, and she sat next to him on the bed, whispering her explanation in his ear.

Of course! How hadn't he thought of that before! Ideas flooded his mind as he considered the possibilities.

"That's… Astrid, think of what else we can do with this! Imagine if you want to mass-produce some kind of drawing or letter. You can just… press it over and over again on as many pieces of paper as you want! You can easily spread laws, or edicts! Or maybe even books!" he exclaimed, trying his best to be quiet and not wake his father.

Astrid chuckled and grabbed his hand. "Here I thought we just solved our little communication problem. Of course you'd have to make it some… great invention," she said, and he chuckled as well.

"No seriously, imagine a machine that could press paper quickly. You'd just put a stack of paper and some crushed charcoal in, and it'd press automatically. A letter that took an hour to write by hand could now be reproduced in seconds! But… Oh damn, when you press it against the paper, it gets mirrored. So I'll have to start drawing and writing everything mirrored to counter that. But… that's doable," he muttered as he stood up and felt around for more copper and his knife.

Astrid followed him, sitting in the other chair as he started drawing this pressing machine. He'd need a better name for it. Writing machine? It didn't really write anything. Copy machine? That might be it.

"Are you already designing a new machine?" Astrid asked with a chuckle, and he blushed.

"Yes. And you should be happy, since it's going to save you a lot of work!" he said, and she took his hand again, squeezing it.

"Maybe, and I'm incredibly glad we'll be able to communicate with more than our hands and mouths now," she said, and he couldn't help but squeeze her hand back.

"But… the council meeting is tomorrow, so you might want to redraw your forge mirrored. Since my paper version here is the wrong way around! It would be bad if they'd read this 21 as 15!" Astrid continued, and he couldn't stop his laugh.

"That would be quite bad. But maybe we can present this machine next week, okay?" he asked, and she responded by writing their symbol for "Yes" on his hand. He smiled.

At least they'd always be able to communicate. In many, many ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of right now, this is the latest Blind Spot I have written. All these oneshots, and my other stories, were copied from my account on fanfiction.net , where they have been posted for a while. I hope to continue Blind Spots soon. I have plans for what will happen next, but I always welcome new ideas. Is there anything YOU would like to see? A certain pairing? A conflict, a holiday-themed ficlet? Let me know, and I might write it!


	12. Echoes of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though Hiccup is getting more used to the blindness, fitting in on Berk is hard when everyone is determined to treat you differently when you're handicapped. So when Toothless helps him discover a cool new trick, Hiccup starts spending more and more time away from the village. But an old rival of Toothless is coming for revenge, and Hiccup will need to be ready for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned! It's been a while since the previous update, I know. I've had a rough year. But I am determined to finish this. I have spend the past months thinking about where this story was going, and what the characters need to grow up. So I decided to add a bit more of an overarching plot to these one-shots. I realized there are… issues that won't be solved in a couple days. So, even though things might look grim now, they will get better eventually.
> 
> I also want to start updating more reliably. At least once every two weeks. Feel free to send me angry messages if I don't post enough :p. I hope people are still interested. If you have any suggestions, thoughts, complaints or queries, post a comment!

"Okay gang, we all know why we're here, so let's get to it," Hiccup said as they landed their dragons in a clearing.

"We do?" Tuffnut asked loudly.

"I didn't hear anything," Ruffnut added. Hiccup shook his head as he carefully dismounted Toothless. He didn't want to slip on the unfamiliar ground. His bad leg was already aching, he didn't want to hurt it more.

"I told you guys three times already! Remember this morning? At the Academy?" he tried. Although he couldn't see their faces, he could sense them shaking their heads.

"I've got nothing," Tuffnut said, and Hiccup sighed.

"Right... Well, are you going to listen this time?" he asked, sighing in relief when they made affirmative noises.

"Johann told us yesterday that several islands he sailed past are damaged. Cliffs are collapsing, and he saw huge tunnels. The mining expedition to Granite Island saw tunnels and fissures as well. Something is tearing up nearby islands," Hiccup explained slowly. He wished he could see their faces to see if they were actually listening.

"Did you understand that?" he asked after a moment of silence, and Snotlout produced an angry sound.

"We get it! Big tunnels, islands disappearing, Johann telling crazy stories again! Now get to the point!" he yelled. A moment later there was a punching sound, and the boy groaned in pain.

"No need to yell, Snot," Astrid said, and Hiccup smiled, hoping she could see how grateful he was.

"Okay, the point is, if whatever is digging these tunnels comes to Berk, it could cause immense damage to the village. It could make houses collapse, destroy the water system, and more!" he said, hoping they could get to the scouting now.

"So... why is that a bad thing?" Ruffnut asked.

"Yeah, sounds like what we do, except BIG!" Tuffnut added gleefully, and not for the first time Hiccup wondered why he let these two join time and time again.

"Oh, for the love of... Do you want your house to fall into the sea?" he asked. Next to him, he sensed Astrid getting tense. He wished he could hold her hand, but they had agreed to not do that as much on Academy missions. It led to too much teasing.

"Well... maybe. If it's the will of Loki. This Great Destroyer sounds like a servant of Loki, and who are we to get in his way?" Tuffnut asked. Before Hiccup could come up with a response, Astrid spoke up.

"Didn't you used to say Hiccup was a prophet of Loki? Then why aren't you obeying him?"

"We decided we were wrong. He's too lame to be a prophet of the great trickster," Ruffnut chuckled. Hiccup felt his stump throb again at the mention of 'lame'. He knew the twins didn't mean it like that. The double meaning probably went way over their heads. But it still hurt.

"Fine, I'm not a prophet of Loki. But we're going to try and find this 'servant'. Don't you want to meet him?" he tried.

"Okay, but if the Destroyer treats us nicer than you do, we're totally joining him," Tuffnut said.

"It's a deal! Now let's go look at these tunnels before we lose all our daylight," he said, unsure of how much light they had left. To him it didn't matter, but the other riders were more concerned with the darkness.

They walked through the thick forest in relative silence for a while, searching for a tunnel. Hiccup's stump started to hurt more and more, and he wondered if the others noticed. If they did, they didn't say anything, just like they didn't joke about the constant tap-tap-tap of his cane as he checked for obstacles.

Just when the pain threatened to overwhelm him, Astrid took his hand in hers. At once his heart slowed down and the pain lessened. Weird how much of that pain was just in his head. They didn't need to say anything, his fingers signing to her that he'd be okay.

Suddenly Toothless growled loudly and ran ahead. The other dragons followed, causing the riders to shout and run as well. Hiccup and Astrid fell behind, and once again Hiccup cursed his inability to run without tripping or falling.

"Oh wow!" Snotlout shouted through the forest, and when Hiccup and Astrid caught up with them they heard the other riders talk enthusiastically as well.

"The destruction... it's real! Praise Loki!" Tuffnut said while Fishlegs started babbling about dragon statistics. Astrid started whispering in his ear.

"There's a huge cave on the side of the mountain. And we can see several tunnels even higher up. They're like twenty feet wide!" she said, barely audible over Toothless' loud growling.

"Easy, bud. It's probably just a dragon. No need to get worked up," Hiccup told the Night Fury while reaching out to pet him. Suddenly Toothless shook his hand off and sprang forward again, and Hiccup stumbled. Toothless had never done anything like that before.

"Let's go in, see if we can find what did this," he told the group, ignoring Fishlegs' worried rambling about how dangerous the dragon had to be. Astrid led him forward, towards the sound of Toothless' stomping and growling. The grass under his feet quickly made way for dirt and sand, and any sound they made produced echoes.

"Come on, bud. Settle down. Let's stay calm, okay?" Hiccup told his friend when they reached him again. This time the dragon accepted his petting, though Hiccup could feel the tension in his body.

"It's getting dark. Did anyone bring torches?" Astrid asked, and Fishlegs replied by digging in his bag. They paused for a moment, Hiccup listening to the sounds of Stormfly breathing, followed by the rustle of fire.

"Okay, Fish, stay in the middle with the torch. We'll cover you," Astrid said, before leading Hiccup forward again.

He couldn't see it, but Hiccup was fairly sure that he and Astrid were in front, with Fishlegs behind them. The twins giggled from beside the torchbearer, while Snotlout muttered unhappily in the rear. Their dragons surrounded them, silent except for the occasional grunt.

They walked for what felt like hours, though it was probably closer to five minutes. The twins occasionally awed over 'the power of Loki', while Snotlout muttered about getting lost in the maze of tunnels. Hiccup wasn't too worried. They had gone almost completely straight the entire time, so they should be able to find the exit easily.

"Fishlegs, what do you think made these tunnels?" Hiccup asked after a while.

"Uhm… circular digging, dirt seems to have been eaten rather than moved… Definitely something from the Boulder Class. Not a Gronkle. It must be a-" Fishlegs was suddenly interrupted by a loud roar from Toothless. Hiccup sensed the other riders turning around.

"Whispering Death…" Fishlegs whispered, and a second later Toothless jumped away from Hiccup and ran around the group, towards the way they came. Then another dragon roared.

"Okay, definitely a Whispering Death!" Fishlegs shouted.

"There! To the left! It's moving around us!" Astrid shouted as she released his hand to grab her axe.

"No, it's to the right!"

"Yeah, because you're looking the other way!"

"Wait, it's in front of us now!"

"Where did it go?"

The other riders were shouting as they moved their backs together. The dragons were growling softly, except for Toothless who was hissing while running around them.

"Stay calm!" Astrid shouted, while Hiccup gave up on trying to figure out what was going on. This was very different from the combat training he and Astrid had practiced.

Suddenly Fishlegs screamed loudly, and Hiccup felt something hot graze his leg. At the same time the sound of a tunnel collapse reached his ears. Toothless roared angrily.

"What the… What happened?"

"Are we dead?"

"Fool of an Ingerman! Set yourself on fire next time and rid us of your stupidity!"

"Shut up and focus! He wants us confused. We gotta move back the way we came. We need to get to light," Astrid said.

"But that thing just blocked the exit!"

"Stay calm. What happened?" Hiccup asked.

"We lost the light, and that… thing just blocked the way we came. It… It seems to have left now," Astrid said. Hiccup felt her search for his hand, and he grabbed hers. It was shaking slightly.

"Okay, that's not so bad," he said, trying to remain positive.

"Maybe not for you! We need light to see!" Snotlout shouted. Hiccup sighed deeply.

"Look, there must be other exits. We just have to find them. Stay together," he slowly said, trying not to show how nervous he was.

Toothless' roars died down, and he suddenly bumped against Hiccup's hand.

"There you are, bud. Why were you so angry?" he whispered while the other dragons talked with their riders.

"Maybe the dragons can give us light?" Ruffnut asked.

"Not for long. They can only breathe fire for a couple seconds, and there's nothing flammable," Fishlegs said.

"We can set Ruffnut on fire," Tuffnut said. The next moment a punching sound echoed through the cave.

Toothless perked up under Hiccup's hand, before producing a strange screech-like roar. The dragon repeated the roar several times while moving around them, before walking away from the group.

"I… I think Toothless wants us to follow him. Maybe he knows a way out. Come on, stay close together. Hold hands," he said. For once the other riders didn't complain. He could sense Snotlout briefly hesitate before grabbing Hiccup's other hand while muttering something he couldn't hear, but he didn't complain out loud.

Slowly the group followed Toothless. The Night Fury kept producing screeches and leading them through different tunnels. Thankfully the Whispering Death didn't seem interested in fighting them again.

"There! Light!" Fishlegs shouted after a few minutes, and the other riders sighed in relief when the ground made way for grass again.

While the gang took in heavy gulps of the fresh forest air Hiccup moved to Toothless.

"How'd you do that, bud?" he asked, and the dragon responded by moving back and forth between the cave and the outside, screeching as he went. It took a minute, but then it clicked.

"Seeing with sound, eh? Clever guy," he whispered.

* * *

Waves crashed against the high cliffs as a cold wind blew heavy gray clouds across the sky. The cliffside seemed deserted, not even the nimblest wildlife daring to traverse the treacherous hills, caves and crevices. Silence reigned, except for the endless rhythmic splashing of the waves as they advanced and retreated.

As Astrid looked at the ocean attacking the mountainside, she was reminded of her mother's stories of Njordr, the god of the sea, and his wife Skathi, goddess of the mountains. Their marriage was not a happy one, arranged by the other gods. They fought often, mostly over whether their house should be at the shore or on the mountaintop.

Astrid wondered if the violent waves were the manifestation of yet another argument.

Stormfly squawked, alerting Astrid to a black shape resting on the cliffside. They landed a few dozen yards away, not wanting to frighten the boys who were so close to falling over the edge. Their dangerous location made Astrid anxious, and not for the first time she wondered if her boyfriend was slightly insane.

"Hey!" she shouted between the sounds of two waves, and Hiccup waved in her direction. Toothless perked up when Stormfly squawked loudly, and the two dragons ran off to play.

"Your dad is looking for you," Astrid said as she walked up to Hiccup, nervous about his legs dangling over the edge. One push and he'd fall a hundred feet into the rocks and water below. She wondered if he even realized how high it was.

"Did he say why?" Hiccup asked as she carefully lowered herself to sit next to him. She didn't dare to lean over the edge, a fear Hiccup evidently didn't share as he energetically swung his legs back and forth.

"He said he was worried about you. Apparently you left before dawn, and he hadn't seen you all day," she said, and Hiccup groaned.

"I'm fine. He shouldn't worry so much. I just want to be alone sometimes, you know?" he said, and she nodded. Hiccup was so distant lately, disappearing during the night and returning at odd hours. She supposed night and day didn't matter much when you're in permanent darkness, but that didn't mean he should just let everybody who cared about him worry. It was something he was doing more and more.

"I can sympathize. Sometimes I get sick of my mother too," she said as she put her arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek, making him smile. Astrid wondered what he was thinking about. If she didn't know better she might have thought he was admiring the view. The wild water, reflecting sunlight piercing the gray clouds, created an amazing image, making her feel small as she was confronted with the incredible power of the gods. But his blindfold disproved that possibility. It didn't matter to Hiccup if it was sunny or cloudy, or if the waves were calm or restless.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, no words needed as they rested at the end of the world.

"So what do you do out here all day?" she eventually asked. Hiccup pulled himself back from the cliff and stood up, retrieving his cane lying in the grass a few feet away. She followed, curious.

"Remember how Toothless got us out of that cave a few weeks ago? I figured out how he did it. He used sound to sense where obstacles were. Like… Wait, let me show you," he said as he walked away from the cliff towards the mountain, the waves making him hard to hear.

Hiccup started tapping the ground as he usually did when he walked, but now he also moved the other end of the cane to hit his knife in every swing, creating melodic sounds. Unsure of what he was doing, Astrid followed close behind, keeping an eye on where Hiccup walked to make sure he wouldn't fall down a fissure or something.

"Do you hear it? The difference?" he eagerly asked as he walked past a cave opening, hitting his knife all the while.

"Just the sound of metal on metal," she said, frowning.

"Don't listen to the initial sound. Listen to the echo. Can you hear it? There's a different echo based on my surroundings!" he said. But no matter how hard she strained her ears, she couldn't hear the difference.

"I can't… I'm not hearing it," she said, and Hiccup looked a bit dejected, before raising his head and hitting the knife even harder as he walked back and forth between the inside and outside of the cave. Eventually she sort of heard a difference between the cave and the open field, but it was so subtle that she barely noticed.

"Sort of? It's hard to hear, especially with the waves crashing," she eventually said, and Hiccup shrugged.

"I use the waves here to time it. They're regular and repetitive, so I use them to count how long it takes for an echo to return. The further away an obstacle is, the longer the echo takes," Hiccup explained, and Astrid wasn't really sure what to say. His hearing was much sharper than hers, but even then it seemed so subtle and vague that it was probably useless. Not to mention the fact that the continuous ringing sounds made her head hurt.

"And… you can use this to navigate?" she hesitantly asked, feeling very doubtful of this technique.

"I think so! Like, I can tell whether I'm in the cave or not, without having to feel the walls. And I think I can tell where the cave's mouth is if I'm in it. I also noticed that trees sound different from stone, but I have to practice that more," he said, and she sighed. Hiccup had a tendency to become overly enthusiastic of things that turned out to be useless, as his long list of abandoned inventions showed. Astrid couldn't help but think this was another one of those. Though usually he wouldn't spend this much time on a failing project.

"So if I dumped you in the forest right now, could you use it to find your way back without running into anything? Can you use it to navigate the village?" she asked, and Hiccup frowned.

"Uh… I don't think so… but maybe with more practice I can sort of figure out where trees are…" he said, and she sighed deeply. There was more going on here than him just trying out something cool. He was avoiding everyone, and this seemed to be just an excuse.

"Hiccup… What are you doing out here? And don't say practicing this… trick," she added when he opened his mouth. "Why are you really out here? What's wrong?" she softly asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. He flinched away, not at all what she had expected.

"What's wrong, what's wrong?! That's what everybody asks! All day, every day!" Hiccup shouted, and the ferocity of his words made Astrid take a step back as the sound echoed through the cave. "What's wrong, are you hurt, can I help you, are you lost, are you sure you should do that, you're blind after all!" he continued in a sarcastic childlike tone.

"And I'm just… I'm so sick of it. Of everyone treating me like I'm made of glass, like I'm going to shatter at the tiniest struggle, like I can't do anything by myself. And I just… I want to get away from that. Out here it's quiet and there's no one to worry about me and tell me I shouldn't be doing something because I'm too damn weak to walk through the village by myself! Like… Even at the Dragon Academy everyone treats me like that. Don't think I don't notice it. You're all going out of your way to make it easier for me. And I don't want that. Just treat me like one of your own," he said as he turned away from her, moving back towards the shore.

"Hiccup… I don't want that. You are special and different, whether you like it or not. And… I thought you liked that. Liked having people notice you and care about you. Aren't you happy that people are treating you nicely now?" she asked as she walked up behind him, reaching out to take his hand in hers. He reluctantly returned her grasp, and his fingers showed signs of pain and frustration.

"I… I was at first. But… not like this. I don't want pity. I don't want them to keep moving the goalposts and have this stupid… fake sympathy and… acting like I'm so pathetic that they're impressed if I can walk through the village by myself. I want to be part of Berk, but everyone seems determined to make it clear that I'm not like them. Not like you," he slowly said, and she sighed.

"I don't think it's fake. They're just worried. They care. And I'm sorry if I made you feel like that. You know I just want you to be safe, right? I worry. It's hard to forget the times when you were in danger, when you lost your eyes, lost your leg. It's… I don't want you to be in pain. I caused you enough pain," she said, trying to pour her love into those words and explain how much he meant to her.

"I know. I know that I am more vulnerable, but it's… You're strong. Everybody knows you're strong. No one doubts that. But me… No one thinks I'm strong. Even though I feel like I'm stronger or smarter or more capable than they think. No one looks at that. They just… They see Hiccup the Blind, they don't see… me," he said, and she put her other arm around him, pulling his back against her chest.

"I think you're strong. In my mind you're the strongest person on the island. But Hiccup, if you want everyone else to see that and change their behavior, you should show them," she said, and he bowed his head and hunched his back, making him look even smaller in her arms. She gently pulled him down to a sitting position, sitting down beside him, her arms still around his shoulder.

"Can't you talk to them for me?" he softly asked, and she was overcome by a wave of frustration. Why couldn't he see how strong he really was? Why was his confidence so low? Why did she have to hold his hand for everything?!

"No," she said, trying to make it clear that this was not up to discussion. "You're gonna have to do it yourself. I can't help you with everything, and if you want them to respect you, you're gonna have to show them you're worthy of respect. And sending your girlfriend to do it in your place because you're too scared won't do that. They'll say you won't be the real chief, that you're my puppet who is easily manipulated. You're the one who needs to show them they're wrong," Astrid said, and Hiccup flinched in her arms, clearly hurt. A spike of guilt hit her, but she knew he needed to hear this. Hiccup remained silent for a long time.

She suddenly noticed his braids were undone again. His irregular schedule meant that sometimes she didn't have the opportunity to braid him for days at a time. She wondered if it affected him, to have a reminder that she loved him, even when she wasn't there. Astrid decided not to risk it, and moved her hands to add a tiny braid, hoping her soft motions would calm him as he thought.

"Wouldn't they be right? About me being a puppet?" He eventually asked softly, and she could hear so much… defeat in his voice. Before she could answer, he continued. "It's complicated, okay? I just feel so… split. Like, I want to get away but I also want company, and I want them to help me but I also don't want that, and it's… I'm so nervous all the time, and I don't want to anger people or make them fight or… I don't know," he stuttered, and she pulled him a little tighter against her before starting on another braid, hoping her presence would ground him and prevent a dark day.

"You wouldn't be a puppet. You're smart and capable, but just… too shy and humble. But Hiccup… Here's the thing. I can't understand what you're going through, what you're feeling. I can try, but I don't think I can ever understand what it's like to be blind and crip- without a leg, and… I want to help. But I never know quite how. So… I'm glad you're telling me this, and I won't argue with you or tell you that your echo plan is stupid or wrong or something. But you can't run from all these problems forever," she said, stopping for a moment to collect her thoughts as she finished the braid. She had to say this right.

"I don't think this is the way. This echo thing, it's… I don't think it's going to be useful. There are better things you could do with your time. You could do combat training, or spend more time at the Academy, or learn about chiefing with your dad. Spend time interacting with people. That would earn the villagers' respect more than randomly disappearing without telling anyone," she finished. Hiccup was silent for a while, and she added a third braid as she leaned against him, trying to make him feel safe.

"I don't think it's useless. It needs a lot of practice, but I think I can really do great things with this. It'll be useful when I'm out exploring, or in an unfamiliar location, or inside a cave or something," he eventually said, and she stopped braiding for a moment to squeeze his hand.

"I won't say you have to do this or that. You know what being blind is like, and I trust you to know what's most useful. Just… think about what I said. It's great that you're trying to become so independent and strong on your own, but… don't forget about me and the others, or how it makes you look, okay?" she said, and he nodded.

"Okay," he whispered, and she kissed his cheek in reply before tying up the third braid.

"I have to go back now. Look… I won't tell your dad I found you, or where you were. If you want you can stay here for a while. But remember he cares about you. Don't make him worry too much," Astrid said as she stood up and walked back to the cliffside where the dragons were playing.

"Come on, Stormfly, we're going back," she called out to the Nadder, who ran over to her. Toothless followed, and when he noticed his rider was distressed the dragon immediately moved to lick and comfort him.

"Don't stay out too late. It's nearly dinnertime already!" Astrid said as she mounted Stormfly, and Hiccup nodded.

"Thanks for finding me. And listening. I love you, Astrid," he said as he petted Toothless, and she smiled.

"Anytime, Hiccup. I love you too," she called back, and a second later Stormfly flew off. The echoes of Hiccup once again hitting his knife with his cane followed her, and she couldn't help but wonder if he'd rather listen to echoes than to her.

* * *

Hiccup tiptoed into the house, hoping he could slip into bed without his father noticing. Normally he'd have flown up to his window and climbed in through there to avoid the creaking stairs. But Toothless had been restless when they neared Berk, and insisted they land earlier, before running off when his rider dismounted. Hiccup thought it was odd, but he was too tired to question it. Maybe Toothless wanted to visit Stormfly or nap outside.

"There you are! Where have you been?" his father's booming voice put an end to any hope of a silent entry. Hiccup cursed softly before turning to the dinner table where Stoick must be sitting. Damn the blindness making it impossible to sneak.

"Oh, you know, here and there, flying… I'm really tired though, so I think I'm gonna go to bed," Hiccup said before faking a yawn, desperately hoping his dad wouldn't start the 'responsibility' speech again.

"Son," the tone of that single word made it clear that the gods still hated him. "We were supposed to go inspect the village together today. But instead you go out flying. Again. Like every day for the past two weeks," Stoick continued, disappointment dripping from every word. Hiccup felt his head drop and his shoulders slouch. He felt small.

"Sorry, Dad. It's just… I've been working on something important with Toothless, and I needed silence for that, and the village, well…" he hoped a joke would help, but then he remembered who he was talking to. Stoick didn't laugh.

"And you don't think inspecting the village is important? You're gonna be chief one day, Hiccup. Act like it. Because frankly I don't think you're taking it seriously at all. You seem to treat it like a joke," Stoick boomed, making Hiccup take a step back. He didn't need to see to know his father's expression right now.

Hiccup wished he could explain that becoming chief was anything but a joke to him. That the prospect terrified him. That he wasn't ready, that he didn't think he would ever be ready. He couldn't even imagine being responsible for an entire village. If they didn't even trust him to walk without hurting himself, then how could they ever trust him to lead the through war or famine?

But if he couldn't explain that to Astrid, couldn't even explain it to himself… Then how could he explain it to his very terrifying father?

So instead of excuses or explanations he decided to take the path of least resistance.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. The apology was followed by a heavy silence, like Stoick hadn't expected that at all.

Eventually his father just sighed deeply. "Very well. Now you're coming with me. No excuses, no early bedtime. It's not even sundown yet. I found something… disturbing during my inspection that I want you to take a look at," he said, and Hiccup decided not to argue. So he just nodded and followed his father's loud footsteps out of the house.

Stoick didn't speak while they walked, and Hiccup was glad that at least he didn't get a longer lecture. Though maybe he'd get it after this trip.

He frowned when he noticed that they were walking towards the outskirts of the village. From what his father said earlier Hiccup had expected them to visit one of the shopkeepers or seamen with a broken tool he had to fix, or a villager whose dragon was sick. But out here was nothing but yak farms and fields of grain.

"Is something wrong with the crops?" he asked, breaking the awkward silence. If there was a fungus or locust infestation it could be disastrous for the harvest.

"Not the crops as such. More… the ground under the crops," Stoick said without slowing down. Suddenly Hiccup's ears picked up on another sound disrupting the wind blowing through the grain. Growling.

"Toothless?" Hiccup asked when he recognized the voice, and he ran ahead to find his friend. The dragon sounded angry.

He only managed to run for a few seconds before he tripped on a root. But before he hit the ground he was yanked back by something grabbing his vest.

"Easy son. Be careful, you nearly fell into what I wanted to show you," Stoick said as he lowered Hiccup back to solid ground. Frowning, Hiccup took his cane and felt in front of him, searching for the thing.

He couldn't find anything. Toothless kept growling, now from right beside him.

"Uh… What?" he asked, feeling very confused.

"It's a hole, Hiccup. A tunnel just like the ones Johann mentioned. The ones you found on Granite Island. Not even half a mile from the village," Stoick explained.

"Okay, that's not good," he said, trying not to show his shock. The Whispering Death was on Berk, and already burrowing through the nearby farms.

"Indeed. That's why you should be on Berk, son. I need you and the Dragon Academy to get rid of this dragon. I know we don't hunt them anymore, but we can't allow it to destroy our home," Stoick said, by now barely audible over Toothless' growls. Hiccup could sense the dragon leaning into the hole.

"Okay, but how are we supposed to do that? The last time we tried to fight it it nearly killed us!" Hiccup said, gesturing wildly at the hole with his cane.

"You're the expert, you figure it out. That's part of being chief. Part of being a Viking," his father said clearly, and Hiccup knew there was no point in arguing.

"Fine, let me just get the other riders," he said, reaching out to Toothless. But the moment before he found the saddle there was a rustle beneath them, making the ground shake. Toothless roared loudly, pushing Hiccup's hand away and jumping into the hole. The sudden movement combined with the crumbling ground made Hiccup lose his balance, and before he knew it he was falling a disturbingly deep distance. A moment later he hit the ground hard.

"Toothless?" he groaned as he tried to get back to his feet. Thankfully he didn't seem to have broken anything. But why wasn't Toothless licking him, making sure he was alright?"

"Hiccup! Are you okay?!" Stoick shouted. The voice sounded distorted when the walls around Hiccup caused echoes.

"I'm… I'm fine. But Toothless is gone," he shouted back.

"Stay there! I'm getting Astrid and the other riders! We'll get you out of there!" his father shouted. The words were followed by the sound of fading footsteps.

"Right… The gods still hate me. At least I know that," Hiccup muttered before feeling around. He quickly found his cane. At least that had fallen into the hole with him. He always felt lost without it. Not that he didn't feel lost now. He was in some unknown maze of tunnels, Odin only knew how big it was, and his seeing dragon seemed to have run off. Hiccup didn't really dare to call out. The Whispering Death was nearby, after all.

So he decided to, for once, follow his dad's instructions and sit tight. With a sigh he sat down against the nearest wall and began to count the seconds.

He got to fifty-three when a screech echoed through the tunnels, making him jump to his feet. A loud roar followed, and Hiccup recognized Toothless' voice. Echoes of stomping, running, and growling reached his ears.

Toothless must be fighting this dragon. Hiccup couldn't sit by and let his friend deal with it alone! So, knowing his dad would yell at him later for it, he walked in the direction of the sounds.

Using the cane to feel the walls was slow going. The sounds were becoming more muffled, like the dragons were moving away from him. Deciding he could risk it, Hiccup began to tap his knife with the cane as quietly as he could while still producing echoes.

At once the room layout became clearer. There was a wall right in front of him, and empty space to the left, the same direction as the sounds came from. Hiccup followed the tunnel, occasionally making more echoes whenever he reached a fork. The dragon sounds were getting closer, and now Hiccup could hear plasma blasts as well, followed by the sounds of falling rubble.

Soon after he found several caved-in tunnels. Was Toothless trying to trap the Whispering Death? Hiccup kept walking slowly as the sounds died down. Was the battle over? Did Toothless trap or kill it?

Without warning the wall next to Hiccup exploded as something burst through. Hiccup fell to his feet, raising his cane in a desperate attempt to defend himself from the dragon. He could hear razor-sharp teeth spinning in the mouth, and he was sure he would die any moment now.

Then a loud roar, louder than he had ever heard Toothless before echoed through the cave. The Whispering Death immediately retreated. Toothless ran after it, apparently not even checking on Hiccup.

"Come on, bud! Let me help you! You don't have to do this alone!" he called, before starting to chase the Night Fury. The rest of the tunnel was fairly straight, and Hiccup only stumbled a few times before he felt the dirt under him make way for grass. The sounds of snapping branches and stomping paws filled the air as Toothless chased the Whispering Death.

"Stop! If you let me ride we can fight it together! What is wrong?" Hiccup shouted, running as fast as he could. He quickly stopped tapping the ground with his cane, feeling for trees with outstretched arms instead.

"Hiccup!" Astrid's voice called out from somewhere above him.

"Astrid! Toothless is chasing the Whispering Death! He won't let me help!" he shouted back, hoping she could hear him over Toothless' running just ahead of him. Suddenly the trees and bushes disappeared. He must have entered a clearing.

"Look out!" Astrid screamed. Hiccup instinctively raised his cane into a defensive position without slowing down, thinking the Whispering Death must be attacking.

Hiccup wasn't proud of the high-pitched scream that escaped his mouth when the ground under his feet suddenly disappeared and he was falling.

"HELP! TOOTHLESS!" he screamed. If he hit the ground at this speed he would be dead, no doubt about it. Somewhere behind him he heard Astrid urge Stormfly to catch him, and the other riders were shouting, but they were all too far away.

Just when he said his final prayers a growl rang out right next to him. Hiccup did not hesitate, reaching out to grab the saddle and putting his foot in the pedal.

"URP!" Toothless roared, Hiccup already on it as he set the fin to the 'up' position.

"Thanks, bud. Thanks. Now let's show that dragon he's not welcome here," he said, catching his breath when they roughly levelled out. Toothless growled in agreement, before giving him flying commands. Astrid was rallying the other riders, and they seemed to be surrounding the Whispering Death.

Toothless didn't hesitate in his commands and actions, circling around while the other riders pinned down the enemy. Suddenly he pounced, diving down and landing on top of the Whispering Death. Then the Night Fury roared and roared and roared, loud enough to make Hiccup's ears hurt.

Just when Hiccup was sure that Toothless would kill it, his friend jumped off. The Whispering Death shuddered, making a soft chirping sound, before flying off in the direction of the cliff and the sea beyond it.

"Should we chase it?" Astrid asked, landing next to him. Hiccup shook his head.

"I think Toothless scared it enough. It probably learned that there's no place for him here," he said, trying not to show how shaken he was as the other riders landed.

"Are you alright?" You… I was scared there, when you fell," she softly said. He nodded, but before he could answer fully the other riders landed.

"Dude, that was awesome! You just jumped off the cliff to get on Toothless!" Tuffnut shouted.

"I didn't mean to-" he said, before being interrupted.

"Yeah, that was badass! But also stupid. If we did something like that, you'd yell at us. Though we're not as close with Barf and Belch as you are with Toothless. You guys like, read each other's minds!" Ruffnut said. Hiccup blushed at their praise, when he recognized the sound of another dragon. A Thunderdrum.

"He should yell at you. And I'm not too happy about that stunt either. Didn't I tell you to wait in that cave?" Stoick boomed, and any pride Hiccup had felt melted away.

"I'm sorry, Dad. But Toothless was fighting the Whispering Death, and I couldn't abandon him, could I?" he said softly, feeling very small.

"Maybe, but that's no reason to run off a cliff! You… You could have died! That was very irresponsible," his father shouted. Hiccup could sense the other riders moving back. He didn't blame them. But he still listened for Astrid, hoping for help from her. Suddenly he remembered her words.

" _No. You're gonna have to show them your strength yourself. I can't help you with everything."_

He knew she was right, and that this was a good opportunity for that. He tried to gather his courage, to tell his father about the echolocation and that he found his own way out. That he could defend himself with his cane, that he had faith in Toothless to catch him, and that he was stronger than Stoick thought.

But then he heard his dad sigh, and the disappointment he heard there made all his courage disappear. What was the point anyway?

"I… I'm sorry," he mumbled, lowering his head. Stoick sighed again.

"It's alright. But don't do anything like that again. And tomorrow you're not going flying. We're going to inspect the village together," he said, and Hiccup just nodded, before following Thornado when he flew off. He passed Astrid, and he could almost feel her disappointment. He didn't know what to say, and then the moment passed. Hiccup felt her angry gaze on him as he flew away.


	13. Invisible Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When an eel pox epidemic sweeps through Berk, it's up to the dragon riders to gather the ingredients for the cure. However, since Astrid is sick, Hiccup is stuck with Snotlout! Can the two boys put their differences aside when their mission gets more and more complicated?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hesitantly raises head out of hole I digged for myself* Hey guys. Can we, uh, pretend that when I said the next chapter would come in two weeks, I meant three months? I am really sorry. I had a really bad bout of writer's block, and I kept changing the order of the chapters. Mostly because I didn't want to write this one, it was a hard one to write. Now that it's done I'm glad, though. I hope you like it too! And I hope to keep to a more regular update schedule from now on, though I won't promise anything concrete. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

Kirsten tried to suppress her laugh. She really did. The situation was way too serious for laughter.

But the sight before her was just too rare and too adorable to waste. Her normally so disciplined and strict daughter, giggling like mad in between coughs. Astrid was holding her Terrible Terror, Sneaky, with an iron grip while cooing nonsense at it.

Eel pox. It changes people's personality in crazy ways.

"Astrid, you're suffocating Sneaky! Let him breathe!" Kirsten said, pushing lightly at her daughter's hands. Astrid violently shook her head.

"No! My dragon! He's cute, and I want to hug him and kiss him and snuggle him!" she stated, before doing just that. The Terror looked terrified, not used to this much affection. Stormfly chirped worriedly, nudging Astrid with her beak.

"Oh, but I'm not forgetting about you, Stormy! Who's a good dragon? You're a good dragon! You're the best-est, prettiest, awesome-est dragon in the entire world!" Astrid said loudly, raising one arm to put around Stormfly's neck and pulling her down to the bed. The Nadder cooed at the compliments, but still looked worried.

Kirsten  _knew_  that eel pox was dangerous, and that Astrid should get a dose of medicine soon. But Astrid being this affectionate was rare, and she was going to savor every moment of it.

Her daughter sneezed loudly, snot flying through the room since both her arms were busy holding dragons. Kirsten jumped back a little, before touching Astrid's forehead. Disturbingly hot.

"Still sick?" Tolfdir said, walking into the room. His nose was bright red, and he kept sniffing. Kirsten had tried to tell him that he was falling victim to the pox as well, but he didn't listen. Damn stubborn Hoffersons. At least his personality hadn't changed yet, as far as she could tell.

"Dad! I'm not gonna train with you tomorrow! I'm gonna hug every dragon on Berk instead!" Astrid shouted when her unfocused eyes found her father.

"Okay, she definitely needs a big dose of medicine. I'm gonna tell Gothi," Tolfdir said, looking shocked at the thought of his child skipping combat training.

"You better get a dose for yourself as well!" Kirsten called after him, hearing the front door close a moment later.

"Hey, mom! I love you! You're amazing! And you tell the best stories. Except for that one with Loki and the horse. That one was gross. And your lessons for a happy marriage, those freak me out. But other than those I love your stories, and I love you!" Astrid managed to say, releasing Sneaky to grab her mother's hand instead. The Terror jumped away with a loud screech, flying out the window as fast as he could.

"Oh, uh, thank you! I'm glad you like them. And I love you too," she said, unsure of what to say. Astrid was never this open with her, let alone confessing her love. Of course Kirsten  _knew_ that Astrid loved her, but to hear it out loud made her smile uncontrollably.

"I love you as much as I love Hiccup. I want to hug Hiccup. And kiss him. And I kind of want to take his clothes off. But I know I'm not allowed to until we're married. Do you think he wants to take my clothes off?" Astrid asked, pressing a big kiss to Stormfly's beak. Kirsten wasn't sure whether she felt disgusted or amused.

"I'm sure he does," Kirsten said, rubbing her daughter's hand, hoping to soothe her.

"Really?" Astrid's eyes opened wide, and Kirsten couldn't stop her laugh at the happy expression.

"Yes, he loves you very much. That's why he's flying out today, getting the ingredients for the cure," she said, and Astrid's face lit up with pure love.

"He's the best! But sometimes he's stupid!" she exclaimed. Kirsten wished she could record this somehow, and show her later. And maybe Hiccup as well. It would embarrass them to no end.

But maybe the memory would do. Yes, eel pox may be bad, but there could be an opportunity here as well...

"So, what do you like about Hiccup?" she asked, smiling when Astrid told her everything she needed to embarrass her daughter for years to come.

* * *

For once, Hiccup was the first to arrive at the Academy. He couldn't remember that ever happening.

The main reason he'd often be late was that is was quite difficult to get out of bed on time when you've worked on projects for half the night. Stoick would often complain about the noise keeping him awake, and Hiccup was sorry for that. But time flies when he is working on a new invention, and without seeing the sun disappear below the waves and the shadows lengthen in his room it was quite hard to notice that it was bedtime.

Maybe he could build some kind of hourglass that he could see or measure himself. Hmm, it could contain little levers or weights that would tip over if enough sand had trickled down. Tricky to calibrate, but Astrid could help with that. Hiccup's hand moved towards his copper notebook before he even realized it. A snort from Toothless reminded him to focus on what was really important. The eel pox epidemic.

Hiccup would need some help dealing with it, though. Normally he didn't mind arriving late, hoping the twins and Snotlout had already expended most of their energy at each other, making them more likely to work with him.

Figuring he might as well be productive, Hiccup moved to the large cages and storage areas in the back, feeling around for some supplies for the long day ahead. As he grabbed a big saddlebag he heard a soft hissing sound.

Toothless growled, but before Hiccup could investigate laughter echoed from the arena.

"That was a good one! Now faster!" Tuffnut shouted, moments before a loud bang rang out. Hiccup ran out with the saddlebag, stumbling when something small hit him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, grateful for Toothless catching him and pushing him back to his feet.

"Since no one else is here yet, we figured we'd train our Terrors a bit more. Butt and Head are getting better and better at flying into each other!" Tuffnut said.

"Yeah, and into other people," Ruffnut sniggered, and Hiccup realized what had just hit him.

Things like this were why he preferred to show up late.

"Whatever, my Terror is still cooler. It took me an hour to pry him off my leg this morning!" Snotlout shouted, flying in on Hookfang, and Hiccup mentally sighed. He was not in the mood for this, especially without Astrid to help him keep order. Rather than comment on the argument, he opted to keep their focus on each other, and instead put the oddly heavy saddlebag on Toothless.

Just as the twins and Snotlout started arguing, buzzing wings entered the arena. Moments later there was a heavy thud, followed by loud footsteps.

"Hey guys. I've got the list of ingredients we need to collect for Gothi," Fishlegs said, and Hiccup sensed him holding out something. The blind boy reached out, grabbing a piece of paper. There was an awkward silence while Hiccup examined the paper.

"Uh, Fishlegs, you know I can't read this, right?" Hiccup asked, feeling like the temperature dropped several degrees when he drew attention to his blindness. It wasn't an easy thing to discuss, even after so long.

"Oh, right. I'll just… read it aloud, then," Fishlegs said, awkwardly reaching out to grab the paper again.

"Let's see…. Buckthorn root, a dozen rock blossoms, a handful of goat weed, one daga plant, some redblood grass, Night Fury saliva, Fireworm gel, various types of seaweed, fifty bogbeans, two dozen juniper berries, and oyster plant. Oh, and a bloodbane eel, but Gothi had one already," Fishlegs listed, and Hiccup tried to figure out where those ingredients could be found.

"Okay, that's a lot of stuff. It's probably best if we split up for that. On that note, does anyone know where Astrid is?" Hiccup asked as Fishlegs grabbed something from Meatlug's saddlebag. Probably a book on herbs.

"Her mom came to see us this morning. Said we had to tell you that Astrid is sick with eel pox, and can't come. Oh, and that she loves you very very  _very very_  much. Astrid that is, not her mom. Apparently that was a direct quote from Astrid. Though maybe her mom loves you as well. I'm not sure," Tuffnut said, before getting punched by his sister.

"Idiot. Of course she doesn't. She was laughing way too hard for that. Though she did say we should hurry, so let's get going," Ruffnut said, sounding surprisingly worried. Hiccup nodded.

"I checked the book of plants, and it looks like the herbs we need are roughly in two directions. The buckthorn root, redblood grass, daga plant, and juniper berries can all be found in the western isles. The rest are mostly water plants, those grow to the south around Breakneck Bog," Fishlegs said.

"Okay then, let's split up in two groups. Fishlegs, you and Ruff and Tuff go to Breakneck Bog and collect those water plants. Barf and Belch should lead you through the fog there. Snotlout and me will go to the western isles to collect the rest," Hiccup said, grabbing his notebook and knife to write down what ingredients he had to collect.

"Wait, what? Why do I have to go with you?! I'd rather go with the twins," Snotlout said. Hiccup took a deep breath, wishing Astrid was here.

"Because the western isles are furthest away, and Toothless and Hookfang are the fastest dragons. Now, can you get some supplies? It's gonna be a long trip, so we should bring lunch. We need a map to navigate the isles as well," he said calmly, hoping Snotlout wouldn't complain this time. Thankfully he just walked towards the back, muttering, while Hiccup scratched the herbs' names into an empty sheet of copper.

"Alright, let's not waste any more time. Get the ingredients as quickly as you can, and then meet back at Gothi's," Hiccup said as he finished writing '24 juniper', before putting his notebook in the saddlebag. For a moment he thought he felt the bag move as he swung his metal foot over to mount Toothless, but he dismissed that thought. It was probably another phantom sensation.

"I'll be back first!" Ruffnut said as Hiccup hooked his foot into the pedal. He heard Snotlout's footsteps returning, before mounting Hookfang.

"No, I'll be back first! I'm way faster than my stupid sister!" Tuffnut shouted. A moment later a slapping sound echoed around the arena.

"We're riding the same dragon, idiot. We'll be back at the same time," Ruffnut said, and Hiccup felt very thankful he didn't have to spend the entire day with the twins.

"Well that's no fun. Still, we'll be back before Fishlegs," Tuffnut said, mounting Belch and flying off.

"Wait, you're not gonna leave me behind, are you? Oh, why do I always have to go to Breakneck Bog…" Fishlegs muttered unhappily, before following the twins.

With the other riders gone, an awkward silence settled over the arena.

"Well, let's go," Hiccup said after a few seconds, setting the pedal to the up position and signalling to Toothless to fly.

They flew in silence for a while, Hookfang's large wings clearly audible next to Toothless.

"So… How's your dad?" Hiccup eventually asked, mostly to break the heavy silence.

"He has eel pox. Otherwise same as always," Snotlout said, sounding annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Hiccup said. Snotlout didn't answer, and the only sound was the flapping wings again.

Hiccup considered asking more questions, but if Snotlout didn't want to be friendly, then he didn't really feel like being friendly either. So he stayed silent, instead thinking about how to build an hourglass he could feel.

They flew for an hour or so, and eventually Hiccup was nudged out of his mental calculations by Snotlout saying he saw land.

"Those must be the western isles. Let's figure out which is which, we don't want to land on the wrong one. These plants should grow on every island, so we might as well pick the safest," Hiccup said.

"Pff, what's the worst thing we could find? The Snotman will defend you," Snotlout said in a patronizing voice, and Hiccup resisted the urge to sigh.

"Well, how about an army of Outcasts? Outcast Island is down there. As are some other dangerous ones. Fireworm Island, Changewing Island, Eel Island…" Hiccup replied.

"Wait, Outcast Island is here?!" Snotlout shouted. Hiccup groaned softly.

"Yes. Yes it is. Northern end of the western isles. If you look at the map you can see it. But we're not gonna land there. I'm thinking we should land on Healer's Island, there are no dangerous dragons there. Can you look up what its shape is?" Hiccup asked. A long silence followed.

"Snotlout… you did bring the map, right?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"You never said  _I_  had to bring it! I thought you had one!" Snotlout said, and Hiccup groaned loudly, not caring if Snotlout heard it.

"Snotlout. I can not read a paper map. Why would you think I'd bring one?" he slowly asked.

"I don't know! Normally you and Astrid deal with that kind of stuff!" Snotlout shouted, and Hiccup sighed deeply, resisting the urge to start shouting himself.

He wished Astrid was here. But she wasn't, she was sick and it was their job to find the cure. So he took a deep breath before leaning back to reach into the saddlebag.

"Okay, I'll check my notebook to see if it contains a map. If it doesn't, we'll just have to pick an island random-" Hiccup shrieked when something warm brushed past his hand. There was a small hiss, like the one he heard at the Academy. This time Hiccup recognized the sound.

"Sneaky?" he asked as the little dragon climbed up his arm before flying off. Suddenly Hookfang ROARED. A moment later Toothless growled in pain. Instinctively, Hiccup set the pedal to 'down', thinking they should land as soon as possible.

"Hookfang, calm down! It's just a stupid Terror! Listen, you stupid beast!" Hiccup vaguely heard Snotlout shout behind him, but his senses were overwhelmed by Toothless roaring 'Urp'.

He wasn't sure what was going on beyond the fact that Sneaky had apparently hidden in his saddlebag, but he didn't doubt Toothless' judgement. He tried to set the pedal back to 'up', but it was stuck.

"Toothless! It's… I can't… Something's wrong!" he yelled. They were losing altitude fast, and with the pedal stuck there was no way they could get lift.

They were going down.

"You stupid Nightmare! Can't you obey me for once in your damn- AAAAH" Snotlout yelled, but Hiccup didn't pay attention. Toothless roared at him, and Hiccup knew what the dragon wanted him to do.

"Okay Toothless. One, two, three!" he said, undoing the safety ropes, before jumping out of the saddle.

As he jumped, Toothless flipped, grabbing Hiccup in his paws before folding his wings around him. They fell for another terrifying second before landing in cold water with a loud bang.

Toothless shielded Hiccup from the worst of the impact, but he still felt a pain everywhere when they hit the water. Toothless released him before grabbing him in his jaw, lifting him above the water, and swimming away.

Hiccup groaned when Toothless gently put him down on some kind of beach. He heard sputtering somewhere near him, but he felt too dizzy to focus on it. He wondered if he broke a rib.

"Hiccup! You okay?" Snotlout shouted, spitting out water between words. Hiccup groaned, but thankfully the pain seemed to be lessening. So nothing broken, just bruised.

"I'll live," he managed to say, reaching out his hands to scratch Toothless. "You okay, bud?"

The dragon responded by licking him happily, and Hiccup smiled despite the pain when Toothless touched his chest.

"What the hell happened? What was Sneaky doing here?!" Snotlout shouted.

"I don't know, he hid in the saddlebag," Hiccup groaned, sitting up and feeling his prosthetic. Thankfully that didn't seem to be broken either.

"Why the hell didn't you notice him!" Snotlout said, as Hiccup adjusted his blindfold a little so it covered his scars fully. He kind of wanted to wring the water out, but not in front of Snotlout.

"Oh, maybe because Astrid specifically trained him to be sneaky? It's kind of in the name, you know," he said. "What happened up there? After Sneaky got out?"

"Hookfang freaked out, shot some fire that hit Toothless. Then when I shouted at him, he set himself on fire, so I jumped off into the water. I… I don't see him around here..." Snotlout sounded worried, but Hiccup had very little sympathy as he felt Toothless' tail to survey the damage. It seemed to have caught fire, the cloth half-burned off.

"I guess he flew back to Berk. Maybe he didn't want to deal with your shouting," Hiccup said, snarkier than he intended.

"Hey, it's not my fault! You shouldn't have released Sneaky! Hookfang felt like he had to fight!" Snotlout shouted, and Hiccup snapped.

"And hit me and Toothless?! At least Sneaky did what he was trained to do! Your dragon just made us crash-land, and then left us on this island! I don't even know where we are!" he shouted, before focusing on the tail fin. He realized with a shock that Hookfang's fire seemed to have partially melted the iron spines, and two of them were now stuck together. That explained the jammed pedal.

"If you had just checked the bag to see if anything was in there before we left this wouldn't have happened," Snotlout muttered. Hiccup took a few deep breaths.

"But it did happen. Now just… let me think for a moment. I have to see if I can fix this," he said, and thankfully Snotlout kept silent. Hiccup heard him sit down on the sand, taking off his boots to pour the water out. Hiccup grabbed the notebook from the saddlebag, glad it was still there. Though if he didn't dry it soon, it would rust. What a mess.

"Okay, so this is bad. I don't have a map, so I have no idea what island we're on. And Toothless' fin is broken, so we can't fly back to Berk," Hiccup said, closing the notebook after not finding anything useful in there.

"Can't you just repair it?" Snotlout asked, and Hiccup sighed.

"Not without a forge or something. Two bars on the fin have melted together, and I need something hotter than a campfire to separate them," he explained, feeling the fin again. "If I could separate them I could use part of my vest for a new sail."

"Well, then Toothless is freaking useless! What's the point of a dragon who can't fly after crashing!" Snotlout said, and Hiccup wished he had anyone other than Snotlout with him here. He'd even take the twins. Toothless growled softly when his name was mentioned.

"Well, at least Toothless is here. Your dragon flew off and left you behind, remember?" he said, before standing up. The pain had decreased to a dull throbbing, so he figured he could walk. He grabbed his cane from Toothless' saddle and walked in the direction he figured was inland, Toothless following close behind.

"Where are you going?" Snotlout asked.

"To get those ingredients. If we're stuck here we might as well collect them before the rescue party shows up," he said, glad when he heard Snotlout standing up.

"And when is that going to happen?" Snotlout asked, coming closer.

"Well, I hope that when Hookfang or Sneaky come back to Berk alone, they'll realize we're stuck and send the other riders out to find us. But that could take a while, since the twins and Fishlegs have to come back first," he said.

Snotlout stayed silent, thankfully.

"Now let's find those plants and hope that we don't run into any Outcasts or dangerous dragons. Redblood grass is obviously red, juniper berries are purple and kind of scaly. Buckthorn root is black and gnarly, looks like a claw. And daga plants are bright pink, with big flowers. I'll need your help to identify them, because of… you know," Hiccup explained.

He swore he could have heard Snotlout mutter, "Of course you need help," but chose not to comment on it.

Soon enough they entered a thick forest, and Hiccup hoped this meant it wasn't Outcast Island. He had never been there, but legends said it was a desolate place.

"Is this buckthorn root?" Snotlout kept asking him, shoving random pieces of treebark in his hands. Hiccup couldn't help but think Snotlout was just pestering him now, but he couldn't afford to antagonize his only human companion. If only Toothless could recognize plants…

"No, this isn't it. I told you, buckthorn is black and gnarly, this is smooth," he said, tossing the bark away.

"Well, sorry I don't know anything about plants. I don't know what it looks like," Snotlout muttered, and only Toothless gently nudging him stopped Hiccup from snapping.

"Just look for black trees with claw-like roots," he said while feeling a nearby bush for juniper berries.

"I don't see any! Are we even on the right island?" Snotlout asked. Hiccup flinched when his hand touched a thorny vine. Definitely not juniper.

"We're definitely on  _a_  Western Isle, and these plants should grow on all of them. So it's here somewhere. Maybe look for Daga instead, the pink flowers. Or red grass," he said. Snotlout puffed.

"Red grass? We've been walking on red grass for the past five minutes!"

Hiccup froze, clenching and unclenching his fist for a few seconds until he was sure he had his anger under control.

"And… you didn't think this was something you should mention? I did say we were looking for red grass earlier," he slowly said as he knelt down, feeling the grass. It felt moist, like redblood grass was supposed to.

"I… I couldn't remember! You said a lot of things!" Snotlout shouted as Hiccup plucked a few handfuls of the grass, sighing deeply.

"Four things. I listed just four things. Things I need your help for. You understand that, right? I can't find those plants on my own," he said overly slowly, like he was talking to a five-year old.

"Of course I know that! Everybody knows you need help!" Snotlout said, and Hiccup couldn't stop himself.

"What's that supposed to mean? What is your problem, Snotlout?" he asked, icily.

"My problem? My problem is that I'm stuck here with someone who is completely useless at finding plants, which is what we're here for, right?!" the other boy shouted loudly.

"Well, you're obviously pretty bad at it as well! Look, neither of us are happy to be here, but we are, and we're gonna have to work together here. I'm not here to be friends with you, Snotlout. I'm here to find those ingredients and cure Astrid and the others," Hiccup said, surprised by the venom in his voice. Toothless growled, backing him up.

A short silence followed. "Fine. Let's just find it and get the hell out of here," Snotlout snarled.

For the next half hour they searched in relative silence, eventually finding a bush of juniper berries and a field of daga plants. Hiccup didn't say it out loud, but Toothless had been a lot more useful than Snotlout in locating the daga plants, somehow understanding that they were looking for pink flowers. Now all they needed was the buckthorn root.

"Maybe we need to be further inland to find buckthorn. Let's go in that direction," Hiccup suggested. Snotlout snorted.

"How would you even know that that direction is inland?" the boy laughed.

"Because the sound of waves is coming from the opposite direction. Now let's go," Hiccup said. However, he hadn't bothered to feel with the cane before he turned around, and his face hit a tree branch.

"Dammit," he swore, burning scratches on his face adding to the throbbing pain in his chest.

"Hehe, watch out where you're going," Snotlout sniggered, walking past him.

"Very funny. Never heard that one before. Really original. Helpful too," Hiccup said as Toothless licked his face, crooning sadly.

"What, are you expecting me to hold your hand? Give you a piggyback ride?" Snotlout said with a childish voice, and Hiccup clenched his hand to a fist.

"I'm not a child. I can walk by myself," he said, moving his cane to sense the ground and follow Snotlout.

"Doesn't seem like it," the boy chuckled when Hiccup reached him, and he sighed. Toothless moved between them, shielding them from each other.

"Do you think it's funny or something?" he asked. Somehow he sensed Snotlout tensing.

"No, I think it's weird. You're so freaking helpless. You can't do anything by yourself. You can't defend yourself, can't find your way home. Your dragon can't even fly by himself. And yet you get everything you want. The girl, the chiefdom, the academy. I don't get it," Snotlout said slowly, and Hiccup wasn't sure what to say.

"I can do a lot of things you can't. And you would be helpless too if you were stuck here alone," he eventually said, not wanting to reveal too much about his combat training. Only Astrid and his father knew about that.

"I wouldn't even be stuck here if you had been able to look inside that bag!" Snotlout shouted. Hiccup was about to shout a retort when a roar echoed through the forest. The argument was instantly forgotten.

"What was that?" Snotlout whispered, barely audible over Toothless' growling.

"It sounds like a scared dragon," Hiccup said. Suddenly another sound reached them.

"Was that a wolf howling? Are there wolves on this island?!" Snotlout shouted before being hushed by Hiccup.

"Be quiet. We should check it out," he said, walking in the direction of the growls and howls as quietly as he could.

"What?! Are you insane? Why aren't we running?!" Snotlout whispered loudly, before changing his tone. "Not that the, uh, the Snotman would ever run from anything!"

"Because I'd like to know what we're running from first. We don't even know if it's wolves. And maybe that dragon can help us," he said, holding onto Toothless with one hand, ready to mount. They might not be able to fly, but if they had to fight he'd rather be on his friend's back.

"You're gonna get us killed! This is why I hate working with you!" Snotlout said, not listening to Hiccup's attempts to shush him.

"In case you forgot, you literally tried to kill me the last time we were alone together, so forgive me if I'm not exactly comfortable with you either," Hiccup shouted as his anger finally overflowed. Snotlout took a step back.

"That… That was… I… That was different! That was before…" he stuttered, and Hiccup couldn't help feeling smug hearing the other boy lost for words.

"Before I  _got everything I want_?" he asked snidely, sighing when Snotlout started stuttering again.

"Listen, Snot, I'm not interested in your excuses. I just want to get to that dragon. If we can train it, and it's strong enough to carry Toothless, we can get back to Berk and go our separate ways," he said, another pained roar reinforcing his point.

"Fine. But I'm only following you to make sure you don't get eaten. Astrid would kill me if that happened," Snotlout said.

For the next minute they sneaked through the forest, making sure they remained downwind from the sounds of dragon roars and wolf cries.

"Do you see any fire?" Hiccup asked. For once, Snotlout didn't complain that Hiccup couldn't see it.

"No, nothing. It's getting dark, so if it breathed fire I should be able to see it."

"Weird. Maybe it ran out. Still, we must be very close," Hiccup whispered, sensing Snotlout nodding beside him. Toothless felt tense under his hand.

"There are wolves there. In a clearing. But I don't see dragons," Snotlout whispered as Toothless shifted to a fighting stance. Another roar echoed. "What? Where did that come from?! There's nothing there. Those wolves are circling around nothing!"

"Quiet. I think it's a Changewing," Hiccup whispered.

"A Changewing? How are we supposed to train a Changewing? They're feral! Plus they're freaking invisible! I'm not riding an invisible dragon!" Snotlout whispered loudly, and Hiccup took a deep breath. He was not in the mood for an argument.

"I don't care one bit if it's visible or not. If we help it drive off these wolves, maybe it'll help us. You and Toothless fight them off. I doubt I'll be able to help with that. I'll approach the Changewing," Hiccup said, not waiting for a response from Snotlout before nudging Toothless forward. Thankfully the dragon was not afraid of a few wolves.

"You're insane! I'm staying here!" Snotlout whispered, barely audible when Toothless roared loudly, drawing the attention of the wolves. He wasn't sure, but Hiccup thought he counted about 4 different growls. Toothless charged forward, luring them away from the panting Changewing. Hiccup crouched forward, wishing he had a fish and hoping desperately that the wolves would not consider him a threat.

"Hey there. We're here to help. You're hurt, aren't you?" he whispered, following the subtle rustling of grass as the dragon moved back. The iron-like smell of blood was thick in the air, and Hiccup's hands touched bloody grass.

Behind him he heard Toothless launch a plasma blast, making one of the wolves cry out in pain.

"That's my dragon friend. You can be my friend as well. I'll take care of your wound," Hiccup said, trying not to let the fear show. A cornered dragon might accept help it normally wouldn't, but it could also lash out. Slowly, without sudden movements, he stood up and extended his hand to the Changewing. It was probably still invisible, but Hiccup could sense the tiny sounds as it stepped on grass, the subtle scent of blood and fish, the movement of air as it breathed out. For a brief moment he was lost when Toothless fired another shot, the bang and resulting cry far louder than the Changewing.

"Are your friends and family gone? We're trapped here as well. How about we help each other?" he said, lowering his head and raising his hand higher. Just when he sensed the dragon sniffing his hand he heard animal footsteps closing in on him from behind. His breathing quickened as he turned around, pressing the button that would reveal the sharp tip on his cane and turn it into a small spear.

He raised his weapon, hoping to hit the wolf as it jumped him. Behind him he sensed the Changewing moving back further. Hiccup felt a bit of hope amid his terror when he realized the dragon had the chance to run away, but didn't for some reason.

"Get away from my cousin!" Snotlout's voice pierced the air without warning, and it was followed by a loud slap. The footsteps stopped as the wolf moaned. "You messed with the wrong guy!" Snotlout shouted as the wolf turned its attention to the one who hit him. Hiccup didn't hesitate, charging forward and stabbing where he smelt wet dog. A loud cry of pain echoed through the clearing as the spear pierced the wolf's side. Hiccup felt it hit a rib.

"You bastard!" Snotlout screamed, hitting the wounded animal with what sounded like a rock. Everything became a blur as Hiccup pulled the spear out and push it in again, slightly to the left. Blood spurted out as it slid between the ribs, piercing organs with a sickening sound. Somewhere Toothless blasted again, and he heard animals running away.

Finally the wolf stilled, and Hiccup quickly pulled the spear out and moved into a battle ready stance, adrenaline still pumping through his veins.

"I.. I think they're gone. Holy shit. We did it," Snotlout said between quick breaths, clearly as tense as Hiccup. Toothless growled, before licking Hiccup's face. The wet sensation broke him out of the red haze, and he breathed deeply, dropping his weapon.

He nearly screamed when he sensed something behind him, quickly realizing it was the Changewing. Trembling, he turned and raised the hand not covered in wolf blood.

"What are you doing?" he heard Snotlout say, but he ignored it, focusing instead on the invisible dragon.

"I told you we'd protect you," he whispered, and a moment later he felt warm scales touch his hand.

* * *

"I didn't know you had that hidden weapon in your cane."

It was the first thing Snotlout had said in a long time, and Hiccup stopped bandaging the Changewing's paw for a moment. After the fight they had decided to build a campfire, both to keep other wolves away and to cook some fish. Snotlout had just returned from gathering wood, and Toothless spat out a pile of fish, the stench of which made Hiccup gag. Still not as bad as the dead wolf, though. Hiccup felt sick when he thought about it too much.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," he simply said, focusing on tying the large leafs around the wound. He wished he had better medical tools, but leafs and grass would have to do. The Changewing he decided to call Blendin seemed okay with it, nuzzling him affectionately.

"I suppose. I didn't think you could fight like that. Or find that Changewing. I… I couldn't have done that. It was invisible," Snotlout slowly said as he dumped an armful of wood next to Hiccup.

"I have a lot of experience finding things I can't see. Just because I can't see… color, or distant things, doesn't mean I can't 'see' anything," he replied, reaching his spare hand behind him to pet Toothless before grabbing a fish to give to Blendin. He sensed Snotlout moving around the burning campfire, grabbing some fish and something from the wood pile. Probably sticks to fry fish on.

"I suppose. I, uh, I shouldn't have said you were useless. I don't think I could have stood against that wolf if you hadn't stabbed it," Snotlout said as he sat down. Fat dripped down on the fire, making it sizzle.

"And it'd probably have killed me if you hadn't distracted it. We did it together." Hiccup slowly said. Toothless curled up next to him, looking over his shoulder at the Changewing."Thanks for that. You probably saved my life."

"I didn't do it for you. Astrid would have killed me if I didn't bring you back alive," Snotlout said in a more tough voice, though Hiccup doubted he was telling the truth.

"Sure, sure. On that note, we still need to get back. Blendin here can't carry Toothless, and I'm not leaving without him. I guess we'll have to wait for the others," he said, finishing the makeshift bandage. Blendin the Changewing leaned over to nudge his chest. Hiccup smiled, before yelping when he felt his neck burn. Blendin quickly drew back, and Hiccup realized a drop of acid had fallen from the dragon's mouth.

"Wait a minute… Toothless, give me your tail. Snotlout, I need your help for this," He said, grabbing Toothless' broken fin, quickly finding the jammed bars with his fingers.

"What are you doing?" Snotlout asked warily.

"We don't need a forge to separate the bars! We can use Blendin's acid! We just need to get a few drops on the joint right here," he explained, pointing at the correct spot and hoping Snotlout could see it. Toothless warbled softly, tensing slightly at the mention of acid, but not moving his tail away.

"Okay… can you get Blendin to… drool?" Snotlout eventually said. Hiccup was surprised he didn't complain, but he would take it.

"I think so," he answered.

It took a while, during which the forgotten fish were hopelessly burned, but they managed to get a few drops on the iron, with only one resulting burn on Snotlout's hand. The boy yelped loudly, clutching his hand.

"It's only fun if you get a scar out of it, right?" Hiccup said, scratching at his facial scars in an exaggerated manner, and Snotlout chuckled.

"I guess I deserved that. For all I did to you. I felt really bad, you know. After the battle. When you were so hurt and I was okay. I felt like it should have been the other way around," Snotlout said as he sat down and started roasting more fish.

"Then why didn't you say that? Astrid said you apologized while I was asleep, but why couldn't you do it when I woke up?" Hiccup asked as he took his flight vest off, before measuring how big Toothless' fin was.

"I don't know. It was scary. And then… then you got everything, you know? And it was all so confusing, and it was hard to feel bad for you when everyone coddled over you," Snotlout slowly said. Hiccup sighed, grabbing his knife to cut a tail fin from his leather vest.

"I hate that, you know? The coddling. People asking me if I need help for every little thing. Changing rules to make it easier for me in games. Everyone seems to always imply that I'm… less than them. Less capable, less smart, less mobile, less everything. Something to be pitied. How am I supposed to prove I'm as good a Viking as everyone else when they keep lowering the bar for me?" Hiccup said, surprised by how good it felt to say these things out loud.

Snotlout was quiet for a very long time, the only sounds coming from the crackling campfire and the breathing of the dragons. Hiccup carefully cut a new fin from his flying gear, trying to figure out how to tell his dad he'd need more leather.

"So we should be tougher on you at the Academy?" Snotlout suddenly asked, handing him a roasted fish. Hiccup laughed.

"Just don't exclude me when you do things. Don't go ' _We want to do this, but Hiccup can't do it, so we won't_ '. Ask me first. I'm the expert on what I can or can't do," he said. A gust of wind blew through the camp, and Hiccup shivered without his vest. He reached out to the wood pile to throw another log on the fire, but froze when his hands touched it.

"Snotlout? Is this wood… black?" he asked, trying not to sound too incredulous.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because it's gnarly. This is buckthorn root, Snotlout! The thing we've been looking for for the past two hours. And you're burning it!" Hiccup couldn't stop his laugh at the end. Thankfully, Snotlout laughed with him.

"Hehe, I guess that's why you came along. We needed someone who read nerdy books about stupid plants. That's everything we need, right?" Snotlout said, chewing on his fish.

"Yup, that's everything. And I think I fixed the fin," Hiccup said as he pulled on Toothless' pedal, feeling the fin move back and forth. "I guess we can fly home on Toothless together. We just have to say goodbye to Blendin."

The Changewing didn't seem to want to part, though. It whined loudly, nuzzling against Hiccup's hand.

"Hey, what's wrong? You can go back to your family now. They must be worried!" Hiccup asked, scratching the smooth scales. Blendin shook his head, pushing harder against him.

"Maybe he doesn't have a family," Snotlout said. Hiccup frowned.

"That would make sense. Changewings normally travel in packs, but this one was alone. I also think he's smaller than what the book of dragons said. Maybe he's a runt who got kicked out," he said sadly, petting Blendin with both hands.

"We can take him with us," Snotlout suddenly said. "You trained him, so he should be able to stay on Berk, right? And, uh, just because he's a runt, doesn't mean he's useless." Hiccup wondered if this was Snotlout's way of apologizing for his abuse.

"I guess we can. Fishlegs would love to study him! Let's get on Toothless, and see if he follows us. Let's not ride him yet," he said, turning to Blendin. "What do you say? Wanna come with us?"

Not much was said after that. They quickly ate the last of the fish before mounting Toothless. Blendin stayed close to Hiccup, and when they took off he could hear his wings right behind them.

"You know cousin, I think working with you isn't as bad as working with the twins," Snotlout said as they flew away, Toothless seemingly knowing which direction Berk was.

"You're not so bad either." Hiccup suppressed his laugh. He figured that was the closest thing to a compliment he was gonna get from Snotlout. But maybe that was okay.

They didn't say much more as they flew back, but Hiccup could loudly hear Blendin flap his wings, excited for a chance to start over, with newfound friends.

And maybe he wasn't the only one.


	14. The Burglar Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the return of peace to Berk also comes the return of old allies. The Bog-Burglars were the oldest allies of these, and one Burglar in particular was very close to Hiccup before his life got turned around. At first it appears like they're still the same friends they had been when they were kids, but they both changed more than the other expected.

Two horn blows echoed around the harbor, making the Terrors yelp and flutter. Hiccup knew the signal well, though he hadn't heard it in years.

Allied fleet approaching.

Hiccup, Stoick, and Astrid were waiting at the docks for the ships to arrive. The riders were without their dragons, however. Given the fact that this was the first diplomatic envoy to Berk in three years, they decided it was best if they introduced their new dragon-friendly society in small steps.

"I can see the first one. New ship design, I think. Same flag though," Stoick said from beside Hiccup. The heir nodded, not being able to see anything, but trusting his dad's word for it.

"So these are the infamous Bog-Burglars?" Their ships are fast, at least. Faster than ours," Astrid said from Hiccup's other side. He chuckled.

"Better get used to that. The Burglars are fast and sleek in every way," he said, remembering the old days when he helped one Burglar in particular play a lot of swift pranks.

"I don't think I've ever met a Bog-Burglar. How often did they visit?" Astrid asked.

"They used to visit every few months, if not more. But lass, you were always training in the forest when the Bogs visited. I think your father considered them a bad influence, actually," Stoick said.

"Oh, Cami was definitely a bad influence. Always pulling me away from your chiefing lessons to pick locks and spar with wooden swords. She always won," Hiccup laughed, and Astrid chuckled as well. "I guess that probably hasn't changed…" he said, trailing off when he remembered how much had changed since the Bogs were last on Berk. Five years had passed, in which he lost his eyes and a leg, but gained a dragon best friend and a girlfriend. How had she changed? Was she still the same old Camicazi who would drag him along to explore caves and ambush unsuspecting Vikings?

"From what Bertha's letters said, she hasn't changed a bit. You two were so close back then. Inseparable whenever she visited Berk. You know, you told me you were gonna marry her at one point," Stoick said, and Hiccup froze.

"Dad! I was like five! Gods!" he shouted, feeling terrified when he felt Astrid's hand tense in his. "It's not like that, I promise! I love  _you_!" he desperately told her, not wanting her to feel jealous. To his surprise, she laughed instead.

"You... hahaha… why did you never tell me that? You were in love with a Bog-Burglar!" she shouted. Hiccup was sure his face was bright red by now.

"It wasn't like that…" he muttered.

"Oh, me and Bertha were counting on you two marrying, though. You two seemed like such a good match. Politically and personally. We were about to sign the betrothal contract, but then the war got worse, and… they couldn't visit anymore. Until now," Stoick said, and Hiccup felt like throwing up.

"What! But she's… she's like a sister to me! Eww! And… there's a contract? But what about Astrid?" he shouted, wondering if he was about to be shipped off to another island to marry.

"No, nothing came of it. You were too young, and when we communicated again, you were with Astrid, and it was clear no one would make you happier than she does," Stoick said, before leaning in. "Now, don't tell Cami I told you this, but Bertha wrote me that she reacted just like you when she was told about the marriage contract," he whispered, and Hiccup felt a little less mortified.

"So you two were close?" Astrid asked, and Hiccup nodded.

"We were best friends, I suppose. Not like you and me, or me and Toothless, but… she never cared about all the things people on Berk cared about, you know? She didn't care that I was small and not very strong. She still chose me to be her partner in crime. I never understood why exactly, but we clicked. I… I hope we still do," he slowly said. Stoick remained silent, but Astrid squeezed Hiccup's hand encouragingly, before drawing a little heart on the back of it with her finger.

"About that, Hiccup. I… tolerated those transgressions when you were younger, but now you've grown up and I expect you to behave as one would expect from the heir of Berk," Stoick said, and Hiccup sighed.

"Sure, as long as the heir of Bog Island behaves according to  _her_ position as well," Hiccup deadpanned, unable to imagine Camicazi being quiet and polite for more than a minute.

"Argh, that girl is hopeless, and I don't understand how Bertha raised her, but you know what I mean. And it's not just what you say or do, but also what you look like. So stand tall! Chin up, shoulders back!" Stoick said as he roughly pulled Hiccup's arms around, trying to make him look a bit more impressive.

"Like that matters for Bertha. She saw me covered in yak manure when that prank went wrong when we were eight. I bet she still sees that when she looks at me," he said, blushing when Astrid laughed next to him. "What?!"

"Why did I miss the best moments from your life?" she asked, and Hiccup groaned.

"Probably because I wouldn't be able to handle you and Cami at the same time. In fact, I fear for my life today," he said before smiling. "Seriously, though. I think you'll like Cami. She's a lot like you in many ways."

The conversation then fell silent as the ships maneuvered through the harbor until Hiccup could hear the creaking of the hull and the flapping of sail.

"Hail, Bertha! Did you have a good journey?" Stoick called out as ropes were thrown and knots were tied around them.

"Very well, Stoick! Njordr blessed us with good winds!" Hiccup felt like he was eight years old again when he heard the voice. A wooden gangplank was moved past him, connecting the ship to the pier.

Somehow even Bertha's footsteps on the plank were familiar. And then came even more familiar footsteps, quick and flighty, like she barely even touched the ground.

"Long time no see, Haddocks! It's been too long!" Bertha said, stepping onto the pier.

"I'm still not seeing you," Hiccup said almost automatically, before realizing with horror he didn't know if his father had told them about his blindness.

An awkward silence fell, in which the only sounds were the boats creaking and Cami's footsteps coming closer. Hiccup could tell she was walking right up to him, looking at him closely, and he felt cold sweat run down his back as he awaited her verdict.

"Hmm… So this is why you never wrote letters? An acceptable reason, I suppose. I figured you were just being a stupid boy," she suddenly said as she poked his blindfold, and Hiccup couldn't help but laugh when he realized she still had the exact same sense of humor as when they were kids.

"Oh, like you were much better, you never wrote me either!" he said.

"Well, I figured you'd write me when you got yourself in a mess again and needed my help getting out as usual. I'd never need your help!" she said teasingly, and Hiccup used his hand not holding Astrid's to lightly punch where he thought her shoulder was.

"Oh, you're still short!" he said, noting that the adults seemed to have moved away a bit, letting them talk in peace.

"And you're still scrawny! I bet I'll still kick your butt at swordfighting," she dared him, and he sniggered.

"Maybe, though I've had some training. Cami, meet my combat trainer and… betrothed, Astrid. Astrid, this is my childhood friend, Camicazi," he said, gesturing between them.

"Hmm, why am I not surprised you needed a  _girl_ to teach you how to hold a weapon?" she said, before turning to Astrid. "You're an axe gal? I'm more a fan of swords. Quick, precise, in-and-out before they know it."

"You can't throw a sword, though. And I think my axe will punch through armor your little toothpick would just bounce off of," Astrid taunted, and Hiccup felt relieved and terrified at the same time at how well they got along.

"Well, maybe we should settle this the old-fashioned way. I first want to try to duel Hiccup, though. See if he's still as clumsy as I remember him," Cami said, and Hiccup grinned. It felt like no time had passed at all, like those childhood memories were yesterday.

"Hiccup! Why don't you and Cami… hang out for a bit. Me and Bertha will handle the treaty, you two don't have to be there," Stoick suddenly interrupted their conversation.

"Wait, I thought you wanted me to learn about chiefing?" Hiccup asked, skeptical. He sensed Cami nodding beside him, and figured she had expected a boring day of diplomacy as well.

"I did, but… well, I think you earned a day off. Go… have fun," Stoick said, and Hiccup frowned, not sure what that was about.

"How about we introduce Cami to Toothless and Stormfly?" Astrid said, and Hiccup smiled brightly.

"Toothless? Who's that? You already have kids or something? Why are you having kids?!" Cami exclaimed, punching Hiccup's arm.

"Nah, he's my new best friend. Also, he's a dragon," He said, rubbing his arm where she punched it.

"What?! I'm no longer your best friend? Though honestly, I can't blame you, it's hard to compete with a dragon. Let's see who this badass is who kicked me out of your heart!" Cami shouted, before grabbing his free arm and pulling him to the village. Astrid followed, still holding his right hand, and Hiccup felt lighter than he had in years.

* * *

"Ooh, pretty good… for a boy!" Cami shouted as she narrowly dodged Hiccup's cane, before hooking her sword around his metal leg and twisting it. Hiccup tried to escape, jumping up and striking again with the cane, but another feint from Camicazi and he was on his back, her sword on his throat.

"But girls are still better," the Burglar laughed. Seeing the fight made Astrid smile. Training with a new partner was obviously good for Hiccup. In fact, just Camicazi's presence seemed to have made him happier than Astrid had seen him in years.

"Oh really? We'll see about that," Hiccup said, wrenching the sword from Cami's hand without warning before pulling her down to the ground with him. Within seconds the two were rolling around the grass, trying to gain the upper hand while laughing madly. Astrid kept dulling her axe, preparing it for a duel with Camicazi. She had been eager for it, but now Astrid figured it could wait a bit. The two friends were having too much fun to interrupt.

"Got you now!" Hiccup shouted as he pulled her over his shoulder and ran off, almost immediately falling again when she kicked his back. Though the kick obviously hurt, he didn't stop laughing for a second. The transformation in Hiccup was incredible, and a small part of Astrid was jealous, though she recognized that there was nothing romantic or sexual between them. It was something purer, more innocent and childlike.

As they ran around the cove, they attracted the attention of the dragons. Toothless seemed confused about who this new girl was, and kept looking between them, though Hiccup's enthusiasm infected him as well. Stormfly seemed hesitant to come between the wrestling friends and stuck close to Astrid.

She was most surprised about Blendin, the Changewing Hiccup had adopted a while ago. Blendin had been very nervous about Berk, and wouldn't really show himself to the Vikings, instead staying in the forest and around Hiccup's house.

But the Changewing took a keen interest in Camicazi, running after her and sniffing her when she knocked Hiccup down and stood triumphant over him. He hadn't done that with anyone, not even Astrid.

And Cami seemed to like Blendin as well, easily adapting to his moments of invisibility, turning to the dragon and 'looking for him' in an exaggerated way, before throwing her arms around his neck. Meanwhile, Toothless pulled Hiccup back to his feet. The boy looked happy, but a little lost when he couldn't find Cami with his cane.

When Cami noticed Hiccup's expression, she gently grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her. Hiccup looked relieved, but then his expression changed to terrified when she threw him behind her before running away, causing Hiccup to chase her. Astrid wondered why Hiccup reacted so well to her, when he'd have shirked away if it had been anyone else pulling him like that.

Maybe it was the fact that she hadn't seen his awkward behavior the last few years. Or that, as much as she threw Hiccup around and obviously took advantage of his blindness during their play, she didn't make bad jokes about it. She seemed to accept his disabilities with an ease no one on Berk had managed.

Maybe it was their shared childhood memories that made Hiccup lower his guard. Unlike the Vikings on Berk, she had never made fun of him or hurt him.

Maybe it was simply the lack of stress. Hiccup was always aware that he'd be chief of Berk one day, and couldn't allow himself to be seen this… irresponsible and childish. As Astrid looked at him charging blindly at Camicazi, she couldn't help but notice he seemed like he forgot all his problems and responsibilities.

Maybe it was a combination of all these things. Astrid didn't want to dwell on it too long, happy to see Hiccup so happy. It was obvious why Stoick had decided to give them more time together. These moments seemed so rare lately. His dark days kept coming and going. She had hoped they'd disappear after a while, but every now and then it still happened. But right now Hiccup looked the complete opposite of depressed.

The pair kept running around the cove, helped and hindered by their dragons. At some point Cami became the hunter, jumping over Toothless to get to Hiccup.

"I win!" she shouted when she caught him, pushing him back against a tree. "And I deserve a prize. How about…" Astrid smiled as she looked at them, it was obviously some kind of in-joke. Then she noticed the Burglar's eyes being drawn to Hiccup's face, and she realized what was about to happen.

Astrid's shouted "No!" came too late. Camicazi had already pulled Hiccup's blindfold off with quick fingers, and even from the other side of the cove Astrid heard her sharp intake of breath when the girl saw Hiccup's scars.

Time seemed to freeze as all sound stopped. No one dared to move as Cami looked in horror at what was left of her friend's face. Hiccup looked pale and nervous, waiting for her verdict.

"You… You look like a monster…" Cami said, the words coming out as a twisted chuckle.

Astrid saw Hiccup break and shatter. By the time she got her legs to work he had already jumped on Toothless and flown away, as fast as he could. His blindfold was still in Cami's hand.

"I… I don't understand… what happened?" Cami asked, her earlier confidence gone. Astrid didn't waste time on her, instead she ran back to Stormfly.

"Come on girl, we've gotta catch them!" she shouted, driving her dragon to fly as fast as she could.

* * *

"Hiccup, let me in," Astrid told the locked door in front of her. Hiccup had never shut her out, but now he had holed himself up in his room, more upset than she had ever seen him. And she wasn't sure how to get him out.

"Please open the door. It's just me!" she begged, forcing herself to stay calm when no response came. The only thing she could hear through the door were Toothless' sad croons.

"Hiccup, I know you're in there. I know you're hurting, just let me help you!" she said, leaning on the door. She felt useless. She thought they had made progress. His dark days seemed to become less frequent and intense. But now this. This was worse than she had ever seen him. She had seen Hiccup at his darkest and lowest points, but he had never refused to let her help him.

Astrid considered kicking the door in. It would show Hiccup that she wouldn't let him shut her out. But would it really help? Would it scare him more? Maybe he needed some time alone? Or maybe she just couldn't help him anymore? She wished she could ask her mother, but Hiccup had made her promise she wouldn't tell anyone about his dark days.

Astrid sighed deeply, hoping Hiccup couldn't hear it through the locked bedroom door.

"I'll give you some alone time, okay babe? If… If you decide that you… you want me with you, you can always send Toothless to get me. I… I'll come back later to check on you, okay? I love you," she eventually told him, waiting for a few seconds for a response that never came. Removing her hand from the door, she turned around and walked down the stairs, feeling exhausted. Just as she reached the bottom, the front door opened.

"Astrid! Is Hiccup here?" Camicazi asked as she walked through the door, Hiccup's blindfold in her hand, and Astrid froze. Suddenly she was overcome with anger at the girl who had hurt Hiccup so much.

"I know Hiccup probably doesn't want to see me, but I just wanted to tell him I'm sorry. I brought his blindfold, and…" Astrid didn't let Cami finish the sentence.

"You're not sorry," Astrid said with barely concealed fury.

"What? Of course I am, why wouldn't I..." Cami started, but Astrid wouldn't let herself be stopped.

"You can't be sorry for something you don't know you did. You have no idea what you've done, do you? He trusted you! And now you've broken him, and he's worse than ever!" she shouted, and Cami took a step back.

"Astrid, I… I didn't mean to… I didn't know… I should have been more careful..." the Burglar stuttered, but it just fueled Astrid's anger.

"That's right, you didn't know! None of you know! None of you understand what your jokes and insults and gasps and pity do to him! I don't even fully understand what it does to him! And he doesn't want your pity! He just wants to be treated like a normal human being, instead of an abomination! He's up there, probably having a waking nightmare, unable to do anything other than cry and curl up into a little ball, because one of the few people he trusted called him a monster! I worked for years to help him! Every time he'd get a breakdown, I was there, telling him he's not weak. And we had progress! He became a little more confident. But now you've destroyed all that! Months and months of encouragement, gone!" Astrid screamed as she unsheathed her axe, not caring about the fear in Cami's eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

"Shut up! Don't bother apologizing! Stop wasting my time! I have to figure out how to get Hiccup to come out of his own dark mind again. Do you know how to do that? Do you have any idea how I can get Hiccup to open up?" Astrid asked as she turned around, unable to look at Cami anymore.

The Burglar didn't say anything, and Astrid found that she couldn't stop talking.

"Because… Because I have no idea anymore! He won't even let me comfort him. And I don't know how to help him! I keep thinking we're making progress, but then a week later he's as sad and broken as ever. It's like no matter what I do, it just keeps getting worse," she said as she dropped her axe, keeping her back turned on Cami. Her anger was flowing away, but it was being replaced by something Astrid couldn't quite identify.

"H-Have you talked to Hiccup about this?" Camicazi softly asked, and Astrid's head whipped back when she remembered she wasn't alone. She wanted to take it all back, to deny the vulnerability. But what was the point? Cami had seen it all now anyway, and maybe she could be someone to confide in.

"No, of course not. It would only make him feel worse if he knew what his breakdowns do to me. And I haven't talked to anyone else about it either. Hiccup made me promise not to tell anyone about his breakdowns, so I can't ask my mother without breaking my promise," she admitted between as she turned away from Camicazi again and faced the corner. She was quiet for a while, trying desperately to collect herself, but the flood was too much. A minute later the words were pouring out again.

"But I sit there, holding him, talking to him, day after day, night after night, and he's just… he's in so much pain, and I can't do a damn thing to help him! It hurts. It hurts so fucking much to see him so scared and anxious, and I hate the gods for torturing him like that, and I hate myself for not being able to find the right words to help him. I hate myself for maiming him and causing all this," she continued to talk, all the frustration flooding out in an uncontrollable wave. Tears escaped from her eyes, even though she tried not to let them fall.

"And I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired, Cami. I'm tired of comforting Hiccup, only for him to get another episode a few days later. I'm tired of walking on eggshells every time he has a breakdown, not knowing if my words will help or just hurt him even more. I'm tired of seeing him struggle so much," she said, not caring how weak Cami would think she was. It was like a dam in her mind had collapsed, and now feelings and thoughts she wasn't even aware she had were all pouring out.

"And he's so strong! That's the thing, he's so strong, all the time, that it only hurts even more when even he can't handle what's happening to him. So I try to be strong for him. I try not to show how much it affects me. But it's hard. It's so hard to just keep myself from screaming in frustration and pain when he breaks down again. And I don't know how much longer I can handle it. We're engaged, for Thor's sake. We're going to be married for the rest of our lives. But if I can't handle staying strong for him for two years, how can I do it for decades?" Astrid asked out loud, not surprised when there was no answer.

"It's not that I hate doing it. I love him so much, and I want to help him, and I'd hug and comfort him for a dozen hours each day if that's what it takes. But it's just so… It all feels so pointless. It sometimes feels like during such an episode, Hiccup is in a dark maze where he can't even hear or feel me anymore, and I have to find him and get him out. But every time the maze becomes more complicated, and I'm running out of things to say to guide him. I feel like my words have less effect with each passing day, and I'm scared. I'm so scared that one day, I won't be able to find him anymore. That he'll be too far away and I can't reach him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I thought I knew what helped him and what didn't, but now I'm becoming more and more unsure," Astrid said, still sobbing, crossing her arms to hug herself.

"I watched you and Hiccup play earlier, and I thought he was so happy. He seemed so cheerful, more cheerful than he had been in months. I mean, he has happy moments, but with you it was like he was a carefree child again. Like he had nothing to worry about for once. He's been so stressed out lately. And I thought that maybe Hiccup needs a vacation. Maybe he could go with you to Bog Island for a week or two. Away from all the responsibilities and pressure he has here."

"B-But… But now I don't even know if that would help him anymore. I'm scared that he'd just be more confronted with his blindness if he traveled to an unfamiliar location, and that would just make everything worse! I just… I just don't know anymore. I don't know, Cami. I just don't know," Astrid exclaimed as she buried her head in her hands, more tears running down her cheeks.

* * *

Hiccup was cold. That's the only way he could describe his current state. Despite being literally surrounded by Toothless' warm belly and wings he was too cold to even cry.

These were the worst dark days. Normally they were just… pain and fear. Life would be too much, and he'd shelter himself from the onslaught. They were painfully hot episodes, filled with blazing anger and burning shame.

They were horrible, but Hiccup had power in them. Agency. He could still move, react, respond, even if he often chose not to.

The cold days were different. It was like falling in a freezing ocean. It starts with a huge shock, a change he could barely even comprehend. Followed by a flurry of panic and movement. He had to run, swim,  _flee_ , even if there was no escape from the horrible discovery.

And finally, when his strength had run out and his arms were too heavy to move, the cold came. The nothingness. Freezing him in place, unable to think or move. Unable to even panic. His only movement were shallow breaths. Anything deeper and he'd drown.

A stable island had been under him just minutes before. He'd never realized how much he had trusted Cami. Maybe even more than he trusted Astrid. From the moment she had stepped off the boat this morning, Cami seemed to have accepted his blindness, dealing with it better than anyone on Berk did. She didn't patronize him for it, like changing the rules of their sparring to make it easier for him. But she didn't pretend it wasn't there either.

It had been the perfect blend of acceptance and acknowledgement he'd unknowingly been craving for years. And it had been too good to be true.

Toothless crooned sadly, and his gentle licking of Hiccup's hair somehow registered in his numb senses. He might be floating in a freezing ocean, but Toothless was right there with him, a rock to hold on to.

Somewhere, far, far away, he could hear Astrid's voice talking to him through the door, but he was too numb to listen. It was all he could do to not shatter. Footsteps down the stairs, followed by shouts. A tinge of panic deep within said he should pay attention, but it froze almost immediately.

The voices changed, became softer. Footsteps on the stairs again. This time softer, lighter. Scratching and clicking from the lock. His breathing quickened even more. The door opened softly. Astrid's voice reached his ears again, echoing from downstairs. It was different. Fragile. Sad. Scared.

Toothless opened his wings, and Hiccup drifted into the ocean again, away from his rock. But before he could scream, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet. He knew that scent. Those hands.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but you need to listen to Astrid," Cami said, dragging him towards the door with a gentleness he didn't know she had. Her hand was warm, and the warmth spread through his limbs. When they reached the door, he heard a sniff from downstairs, like someone was crying, and his frozen mind suddenly jumped into action. Was that Astrid?

Everything was too crazy to make sense of, and Hiccup didn't resist when Cami slowly led him down the stairs, nudging his legs to take the stairs one at a time. They creaked slightly, but the only thing Hiccup heard was Astrid's shallow breathing. He hadn't heard her like that in years, not since just after he lost his leg.

Then she suddenly started talking, about the things they had never talked about. The dark days, the endless cycle of panic and calming.

The things he never noticed. Her pain. Her exhaustion. The cold disappeared, replaced again with burning shame. How had he not seen it? Considered it? He wanted to step in, interrupt Astrid's painful monologue, throw himself at her feet and beg for forgiveness. But he was still too shocked to get his legs to move. As she kept talking, the numbness disappeared, replaced by pain and regret.

Then Astrid's words dissolved into nothing but sobs, and Hiccup couldn't take it anymore. He stepped forward, being careful not to startle her. When he was sure he was only a foot behind her, he quickly put his arms around her and pulled her towards him, her back against his chest. Astrid made a shocked sound, before going stiff in his embrace.

"It's alright. Just let it out. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. This doesn't make you weak," Hiccup whispered the same things into her ear she would normally whisper in his, things that always made him feel a little better.

Astrid made a sound that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a sob, before turning around in his embrace and burying her face in his neck.

"It's gonna be alright, I'm right here, and I'm never gonna let you go. Let me comfort you for once," Hiccup said, and Astrid put her arms around him as well, tears soaking the fabric of his shirt. He heard the front door opening and closing, and he knew Camicazi had left them alone.

"Y-You heard everything, didn't you?" Astrid eventually asked, and Hiccup could hear the fear in her voice.

"Pretty much," he answered, hoping she wouldn't shut off on him.

"Oh gods, Hiccup. I'm sorry that you had to hear that. I'm sorry…" Astrid started, but Hiccup interrupted.

"Don't apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry, I locked you out. I shouldn't have done that, I was just… in a very dark place. And I'm sorry I didn't see that you were in pain. I'm the most useless boyfriend ever," he said, doing his best to stop his voice from trembling. Astrid was always so strong for him, he had to be strong for her now.

She hiccuped between her tears, before punching lightly on the arm. "Y-You weren't supposed to know! I… I thought you'd be… angry, or… you know…" she softly said, and Hiccup just sighed. He lowered his hand and grabbed hers, lightly squeezing it.

"I'm not angry. I couldn't be angry with you. I'm just… I don't know… I'm not angry you feel this way. I'm just… disappointed you didn't tell me, I think. I… I want to help you, Astrid. Just like you help me! I won't think you're weak!" he exclaimed, and he could feel Astrid shake her head.

"I didn't think you could help. I still don't know how. I'm just… I'm tired, Hiccup. I'm tired of being unable to help you. And how can you help me with that?" she whispered, and Hiccup slowly moved out of their embrace and grabbed her hands, trying to smile even though his heart was aching from the pain he could hear in her voice.

"Astrid, listen to me. You help me. You help me every single day. You're my light. You make everything brighter just by being there. And… in those dark moments, you do help. You help me more than I can ever explain, and I don't thank you often enough for that. I see that now. But tell me, are you feeling better now? Did talking help?" he asked as he pulled her down with him to sit on the floor.

"I… I suppose it did. I feel… lighter now, like I was wearing heavy armor, and now it's gone and I'm free again," she slowly said as she grabbed his hand, and he squeezed it again.

"That's what I feel every time you do that for me. And more. It's just… You keep me connected, and I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm sure that, if I didn't have you with me during those… breakdowns, I wouldn't be able to come out of bed anymore," he explained, and he could hear her breathing calm a little. It was nice to finally talk about those dark hours. Normally they never mentioned it, it was just something that happened, and he thought they were both dealing with it as well as they could. But he now saw that they did have to talk about it, and about what it did to Astrid.

"Maybe, but… what's the point if it… doesn't solve anything? Why can't it just get better? I love you, Hiccup, blindness and scars and metal leg and all. And I don't think any less of you for having dark days. But… But… But why can't it just be simple for once? Why can't we be like other seventeen-year olds? The others, like Snotlout or the twins, they seem to have it so… easy. Why can't we have that? Why can't we just play and prank and train and… sneak into each others rooms to make out instead of cry, and… do whatever normal teenagers do, instead of just… dealing with all this shit? It's not fair!" Astrid said heatedly, and he couldn't stop his wistful sigh.

"I wish it was that simple too. But Astrid, I want you to understand something. I didn't have these dark days until after everything. The blindness, the Red Death, the leg. Before that I never cried. But I am infinitely happier now anyway. Astrid, you and Toothless bring so much happiness to my life, that I'd rather lose another leg than go back to that time before. I'm so happy you're with me, and that you'll be my wife one day, and… maybe I'm just not allowed to be that happy all the time. Maybe the gods need to balance it all out, so they send me nightmares and dark visions, but it's still worth it, Astrid! Don't ever doubt that you're not helping me, because you and Toothless are the best damn things that have ever happened to me!" he exclaimed, before releasing her hands and putting his arms around her again, resting his chin on her head.

"You asked what the point is of comforting me if I'll just break down again a few days later? The point is those happy days in between. Those bright days I probably wouldn't have if you didn't convince me to get up and face the world again. It's worth it, Astrid. Life is worth living, even if it's dark sometimes. It just makes the rest brighter."

Astrid slowly nodded against his chest, and he held her a little tighter. He rubbed her back and pressed kisses against her hair until she stopped crying.

"So, you feel a little better? Are you ready for another bright two years now?" he finally asked when she moved out of his embrace, and Astrid snorted, before squeezing his hand.

"I guess so. Thanks, Hiccup. We… We should have talked about this a long time ago," Astrid eventually said, before pulling him into another hug.

"We should have. But we did now, and the next time you feel this way, just tell me, okay? I want your days to be as bright as mine are," Hiccup said, and he could feel her head nodding on his shoulder.

They sat there for a little while longer, both of them calming down from their dark moment. Finally, Hiccup slowly pulled out of the hug and stood up, before offering his hand to Astrid.

"Shall we find Cami and talk to her as well? I think we owe her an explanation," he said as he pulled her to her feet.

"Yeah, I think we might have traumatized her with our tears. But she left your blindfold here. And… she wanted to apologize to you. For earlier. And… And I want to apologize to her as well. So… are you ready to face the world again?" Astrid asked, and a moment later she was tying his blindfold around his face again. He smiled, before grabbing her hand and leading her to the door.

"I'm ready for another bright day."


	15. Bogged Down Diplomacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bog-Burglars visiting Berk has lead to the signing of a new alliance treaty. Central to this treaty: The Dragon Academy will train Burglars in dragon training. So now Hiccup, Astrid, the other riders, and their dragons all sail to Bog Island to share their knowledge. However, things don't go as smoothly as Hiccup hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I posted, I know. I had some medical issues, and writers block. But I am set on finishing these stories. This one is almost a direct continuation of the previous chapter, so you might want to reread that. Anyway, I hope you like it, and don't hesitate to leave a comment.

When they heard this trip was going to happen, it had seemed like a great adventure. Going valiantly into the Great Beyond, to show other islands the ways of dragon training. It was going to be amazing and perfect.

Now that she was on the boat to Bog Island, Astrid wasn't as enthusiastic anymore.

"HUUURGH!" Her stomach convulsed for the third time in the past hour, only dry heaves and stomach acid coming out of her mouth this time. Her guts had long since been emptied. Next to her, Hiccup was hanging over the side of the boat as well, not looking much better.

"I hate sailing," he groaned. She nodded, spitting out more slime.

"Feeling a little under the weather, cousin?" Snotlout said from behind them, annoyingly healthy for being on such a wildly rocking boat.

Hiccup's only response was a tiredly raised middle finger. However, he was quickly forced to put his hands back on the railing when he retched once more, a big wave and subsequent rock making Astrid groan as well.

"I thought you had sailed before," Astrid said a few minutes later when the sea was marginally calmer.

"I did, back when I was like five. I got seasick then as well, though. Dad took me on a few missions to other islands. But then we went to Meathead Island, and the chief was waiting on the pier for us, and... " Hiccup stopped for a bit, taking deep breaths when another wave tilted the boat.

"I actually felt a little better, but then I stepped on the pier, and it was… so solid, and I, well… I threw up all over Chief Mogadon's expensive dragonskin boots. Dad stopped taking me on trips after that," he said, groaning at the memory. "I hoped I'd have… grown out of it by now, but apparently not," Hiccup chuckled weakly. "What about you? Didn't you go on fishing trips?"

"I went fishing with my dad a couple times, yeah, but we never went far from the shore. I didn't even know the sea could be this wild," she said, dropping her head further over the railing, almost touching the water splashing off the side of the ship. Stormfly, who was swimming alongside it, crooned worriedly.

"You think this is a wild sea? You ain't seen nothing yet! This is a perfectly calm day!" Camicazi said as she walked between them, leaning on the railing. Blendin swam up beside Stormfly, a weird empty shape in the water, chirping happily at the princess.

"Ugh, please don't tell me it's gonna get wilder! I don't want to make a fool of myself when we arrive," Hiccup said, breathing heavily.

"Oh, you're worried you'll throw up on Mom's boots like you did with Mogadon?" Cami asked, and Hiccup started coughing hard.

"You know about that?!" he shouted when he had spat out some slime, and Cami laughed.

"Dude, the entire archipelago knows about that. Hiccup of Berk, Defiler of Mogadon's Legendary Dragon Boots!" she said, gently patting his back.

"But… that was over ten years ago…" he groaned, burying his face in his hands as best as he could while hanging over a railing.

"What can I say, it's a funny story. I think Mom will steer clear of you when we land, so you probably won't have a repeat. I still don't understand why you can do all kinds of crazy manoeuvres on Toothless but get so sick on a boat though," Cami said, reaching out to pet the invisible Blendin. Astrid couldn't figure out how the Burglar was able to pinpoint his location so well.

"When I'm on Toothless I know what's gonna happen, how he's gonna move. We're… in sync. Here I can't see the waves coming. When I walk here the deck moves under me, and walking's already hard enough for me. I wish we could just fly to Bog Island," Hiccup said.

"Yeah, but we all have to arrive together. My mom's not gonna fly yet. And it looks better if you don't come swooping down out of nowhere. Unlike you Berkians we're not used to dragons. I wish I could fly on Blendin though. Can't wait to try it!" Cami said, and Astrid smiled despite her protesting stomach.

After the debacle when Cami saw Hiccup's scars, they had gone to explain things to her, and then Hiccup had a long talk with her alone. Astrid assumed he had told her about everything that had happened, and what he was feeling now. Maybe even stuff he didn't tell her. But Astrid didn't feel angry about that. She had broken down because she hadn't been able to talk to anyone, he should be allowed to confide in someone else as well.

And she wasn't worried about losing Hiccup to Cami. When the two emerged from their talk Hiccup had immediately run over to Astrid for a kiss, and didn't let go of her hand for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, it had meant there was little time left for them to play. After seeing the interest Blendin showed towards Cami, Hiccup had taught her the basics of dragon training, but no flying yet. And the next day it was already time for her to leave Berk. The treaty had been drafted very quickly.

But to their surprise, they didn't have to part yet. A key part of the treaty was that Berk would send instructors to Bog Island for a few weeks, to teach the Bog-Burglars about dragon training. Of course, Hiccup, Cami, and Astrid had offered some suggestions and amendments, such as Cami adopting Blendin and setting up a Terror mail link between the islands, but they were all enthusiastic about a vacation to Bog Island.

So now here they were, the entire Dragon Academy sailing back with the Burglars. Not all their dragons were happy about it. Hookfang refused to touch the sea, while Meatlug was too heavy to float in the water. Toothless seemed nervous on the boat, which Astrid couldn't blame him for. The only two other times he'd been on a ship, he'd been chained up and parted from Hiccup. So now the dragon stuck close to his best friend, cleaning up Hiccup's face from remnants of the seasickness.

The boy visibly cheered up when he sensed the Night Fury, pulling back from the railing to scratch and play with Toothless.

"Well, you can't fly on Blendin yet, but maybe you can just… ride around on his back while he swims?" Hiccup offered, before turning to Toothless. "What do you say, bud? Wanna take a quick swim? I bet it'll be less nausea inducing than this boat!"

Toothless warbled happily as Hiccup carefully climbed into the saddle, nearly slipping when the boat rocked again. Hiccup didn't like to swim on his own, it was difficult with his prosthetic, but Toothless seemed to like the water. Better than the boat, at least.

Cami and Astrid watched as Toothless jumped over the railing, flapping his wings wildly for a moment before finding his balance in the waves. Hiccup laughed happily when his feet were submerged in the water. It made Astrid smile. Despite the seasickness, this vacation already seemed to be doing Hiccup good. Stormfly swam alongside them, before looking questioningly at Astrid who was still sprawled over the railing.

"Ugh, fine. You always make me feel better," she groaned, before standing up on shaking legs. A few minutes later Cami had joined them on Blendin as well, and they were splashing water at each other while following the boat.

"Having fun?" Bertha called from the other ship, waving at them. Fishlegs and Meatlug were standing next to her.

"Lots, Mom! These two needed a break from throwing up!" Cami shouted, followed by embarrassed sounds from Hiccup and Astrid.

"Oh, you Berkians were never good at sailing. Stomachs for battle, but not for the sea!" Bertha shouted back as she brought the ship closer.

"I assure you that I have a stomach for both battle and travel, your highness," Snotlout said smugly from the first ship, stroking an annoyed looking Hookfang.

"Oh, is that so? Your dragon doesn't look so comfortable," Cami laughed, making Snotlout glare.

"How dare… Let's show them who can swim better! Hookfang, go!" Snotlout said as he climbed into the saddle and urged the dragon toward the water. Hookfang growled.

"What's wrong with you! It's just a bit of- AAARGH!" Snotlout jumped off and into the water when Hookfang briefly lit himself on fire, thankfully not long enough to set fire to the ship. Everybody laughed when Snotlout surfaced, stroking his behind and looking very insulted.

"Stupid dragon. I'm still a better flyer than any of these Bog  _girls_ , though," he muttered as he climbed out of the water, his pants looking very scorched.

"Well, given that you're supposed to train my  _girls_ to fly, I'd hope so. Though I warn you, it's extraordinary we allow men on our island for so long. Better have a little more respect," Bertha said sharply as Hiccup and Cami chuckled.

"Wait, there are no men in the Bog-Burglars?" Tuffnut asked, coming up from below deck, his sister right behind him.

"Do you see any male crew?" Cami asked rhetorically, though Tuffnut still looked around awkwardly.

"Uhm… no? But then… how do you make babies?" he asked, before getting punched by his sister.

"Yeah, what was that talk of Hiccup marrying Cami about then?" Astrid asked. Cami giggled, but Bertha sighed, before directing her ship a little closer to them.

"I'd hoped Stoick would have explained this, but we handle marriage and relationships a little differently. See, it's not really a… together-forever kind of thing. If Cami had married Hiccup, they'd have stayed in their own tribes, but their families would have been allies. And every once in a while… ideally once a month, they'd get together and… well, make a Zippleback, as you Berkians say," the Burglar chief explained. Hiccup choked at her last sentence, nearly falling off of Toothless as he coughed.

"And then, if the child is a girl, she'd be a member of our tribe. So if it had been Cami and Hiccup, the girl would become the heir to the Bog Burglars. And if it's a boy, he'd be part of the father's clan, so he'd become heir of Berk after Hiccup. That's why this match would have worked so well, it would have produced heirs for both our tribes," Bertha continued, and Hiccup and Cami blushed bright red, clearly uncomfortable with the scenario.

"And it's possibly to have multiple such 'marriages' over time, with different people. Hell, one man can even be 'married' to multiple Bogs at the same time, if they want," Bertha finished. "But anyway, I don't think it'll come up here. Hiccup and Camicazi have made it very clear they're not interested in each other in that way.

There was a bit of an awkward silence after that, but then Hiccup spoke up.

"Yeah, I'm not looking for marriage here, I just want to bring the joys of dragons to new islands," he said, scratching Toothless, who warbled happily.

"That's because you already found  _true love_. The rest of us are still looking," Cami laughed, and the other riders sniggered as well. Hiccup stood up in Toothless' saddle.

That's right. I found my love years ago, and she's right here!" he said, before jumping towards Astrid.

Unfortunately he misjudged the distance. And the angle. And thus landed in the sea water, nowhere near Stormfly. Although everyone laughed, he still managed to follow the sound of her giggle to find Astrid, climb onto Stormfly, and give her a big kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so happy you're here with me. Despite the seasickness, and the teasing, I wouldn't want it any other way," he whispered in her ear as he sat down behind her on Stormfly, staying there for the rest of the journey.

* * *

Hiccup had never been to Bog Island before. As a child he had asked his dad so many times if they could go there, not really understanding why it was so complicated for a boy to visit their best friend when that best friend often visited him. Even now Stoick had made it clear that there were boundaries, that this was only permitted because of the dragon training treaty.

But even with the list of rules his father told him about, Hiccup felt more free than he had in a long time. Although the docks and roads under his feet were unfamiliar, and he didn't dare let go of Astrid's hand for fear of getting lost, the tingle in his stomach was from excitement, rather than the sickness from earlier.

There were dozens of voices around him, all whispering and talking about the strange visitors, and their even stranger dragon companions. They were climbing a podium in the central square, where Bertha would explain the treaty to the villagers.

Between all the feminine voices, Hiccup heard Fishlegs nervously whisper to Meatlug, while Snotlout kept shouting things like "Hello ladies!"

Cami groaned, saying they should keep an eye on him.

As Bertha started talking, Hiccup was struck by how calm the atmosphere was. The Burglars were obviously excited and curious, but there was no sign of arguments or competition. Bertha emphasized that everyone would be allowed to learn on their own level: The children would interact with the baby dragons, born only last Snoggletog, while the teenagers and adults would try to bond more permanently with some of the bigger dragons they brought along.

She then introduced the dragon riders, starting with Hiccup. He awkwardly stepped to the front, reluctantly letting go of Astrid's hand and waving into the blackness he saw. There was a lot of giggling and whispering from the audience, and for a moment Hiccup wondered if it was because of his blindfold and metal leg.

"You killed the Red Death, right?" a girl suddenly shouted, and Hiccup blushed, muttering that Toothless had done most of the work. The Night Fury seemed to agree, climbing on to stand next to Hiccup, raising more applause. And despite his nervousness, Hiccup couldn't help but smile when people began asking more questions about his adventures.

"So how did you meet Toothless?"

"Did it hurt when you lost your leg?"

"Did you need to stop the dumb  _men_ from making a mistake again when they tried to raid Dragon Island?"

It seemed like distorted versions of the tale had already made it to Bog Island, and while Hiccup was surprised by the question if he had really grown wings and flown by himself, he had to admit it was exhilarating to talk about it to such an excited audience. When Berkians talked about that day, it was usually with fear and horror at the monster, or regret at his injury. Not excitement.

For once, Hiccup felt like a hero, and the realization made him smile harder than he had in a long time, laughing at the crazy stories that were apparently being told about him all around the archipelago.

Though his smile fell when one of the girls asked if he felt good about throwing up on Mogadon's 'evil' dragonskin boots after all. He guessed some stories would never go away, good or bad.

* * *

Snotlout walked away from the assembly in a bad mood. Hiccup had spent nearly an hour on that stage getting admired by swooning girls, and he couldn't even  _see_ them! And while he had to admit Hiccup  _might_ have earned a bit of praise for his actions that day, it still stung that Snotlout and the other riders only got quick mentions by Bertha, their only introduction being an explanation of the class they were going to teach.

Maybe the separate classes would be an opportunity though. With Hiccup and Astrid busy teaching the teenagers and grown-ups, Fishlegs dealing with Terror Mail, and the twins causing all kind of chaos with the children, he had all the time in the world to chat up the many pretty ladies on this island. Oh, they may think Hiccup is the hero, but when they hear The Snotman's voice and see his muscles, surely they'll all want to be with him. And thanks to their weird laws, every single one of them can marry him, all at the same time.

Astrid might have chosen Hiccup for reasons Snotlout didn't understand, but all these pretty girls would make for a nice consolation.

Surely this wouldn't be very hard, after all he was one of the first men they had ever seen. They wouldn't be able to resist. And in case they wouldn't immediately fight each other for the chance to touch his muscles, he had prepared a number of romantic lines to win them over with his wits.

And they keep saying Hiccup is the smart one. Pfff. The Snotman's got this one in the bag. Or should he say, in the  _sack_?

He leaned on a nearby house for a while, watching the girls pass by, silently inviting them to talk to him. To his surprise, none of them did! They just walked right past him, like he wasn't even there! This didn't make any sense!

Oh. Oh, of course! They are nervous! They've never seen such manliness before! They don't know what to do!

"Girls, Hiccup's class is starting at Ingrid's farm!" an old woman shouted, and the slightly older girls giggled before following the woman. Snotlout panicked for a moment. They were getting away! Well, time to use with one of the lines he prepared. He chose a pretty redhead of about fifteen years old walking by, and stood right in her path. She stopped, looking at him with confused eyes. Aww, these poor dainty girls are so easily intimidated, growing up without strong men like him.

"Hey girl. Your father must have been a Burglar as well, because he stole two of the most beautiful stars from the sky and placed them in your eyes," he said as seductively as he could.

She gazed at him, her expression not changing one bit from her initial confusion.

"Huh? My dad wasn't a Burglar, all Burglars are female. He is a Meathead fisherman. How would he even steal stars?" she asked, stepping backward, away from him. Snotlout's eyes widened. These poor girls, they never even got compliments, so they didn't understand them! Thank the gods Snotlout is here to bring them what they've been deprived of for too long!

"I'm sure you're a Burglar too, because you just stole my heart," he told the bewildered girl. To his surprise, she didn't look impressed at all! In fact, she looked kind of sick!

"I… I have to go… to the dragon training class," she stuttered, walking around him towards the edge of the village, frequently looking over her shoulder with what looked almost like fear in her eyes.

Poor, poor girls. Snotlout supposed it was natural for them to be wary at first, someone as incredible as him didn't just appear every day. Unfortunately, with Hiccup's class for the teens starting soon, there were disturbingly few targets for him left!

"Excuse me? You're one of the Berkians, right? Can you tell me where the dragon training class by Hiccup Haddock is? I can't wait to ride a dragon!" Snotlout turned around to see a short girl look at him with excitement in her eyes. He didn't waste his chance.

"Oh girl, I've got a dragon you can ride," he said, putting his hand on his crotch. Her eyes widened, and for a moment Snotlout thought he had her.

Then she slapped him across the face,  _hard_.

"Creep! Now I get why we don't allow  _men_ here! I hope Hiccup isn't as gross as you are!" she screamed before running away, leaving Snotlout to rub his aching face. What was wrong with her? Wasn't the riding part the whole point of this charade? He'd figured he could cut out the boring middle parts. Well, maybe there were other girls who didn't like the stupid flirting part any more than he did.

He just had to find them.

* * *

"I can't believe we're allowed to do this," Tuffnut said, looking at the pre-teen Bogs being brought in by their mothers.

"I know, right? Stoick wouldn't even let us get near a kid. Remember that time with the Nightmare gel?" Ruffnut replied, equally stunned at the level of responsibility they were given.

"It's almost like they think we're respectable adults. I feel like some of these kids are more trustworthy than we are," Tuff said, walking over to a group of 8-year olds looking fearfully at Barf and Belch puffing out small clouds of gas.

"Don't worry guys, they're not gonna hurt you… much. You might want to look out with the Zipplebacks, their bites make you sick. Their gas can blow up though, so that's awesome!" he told the children, who looked kind of excited now, while their mothers didn't seem comfortable with this arrangement.

Ruff decided to intervene.

"Don't worry, I've got this! Your children are safe with us! None of these dragons can breathe fire yet, at least not more than a few sparks, and their claws aren't sharp yet. The only injuries are gonna come from your kids fighting each other over the best dragons!" Ruffnut shouted, getting the attention of all the parents.

They did not look happy with her teaching methods.

"Kidding, kidding! We won't make them fight!" she said, muttering " _Anymore, with you people being such buzzkills,"_  under her breath. Tuffnut walked up next to her.

"We are going to make history today! Your chieftess and princess personally gave us the solemn duty to introduce your younglings to this wondrous new age of dragons. I know you quarried with them for years, but these baby dragons are your friends, and soon they'll be a useful tool to keep your child distracted while you do work around the house!" Tuffnut announced. To their surprise, this seemed to somewhat pacify the mothers, who were now saying bye to their daughters before leaving them in the pasture.

Not before looking over their shoulders every other step until they were out of view though.

"Good! I'm Professor Ruffnut, and this is my brother, Professor Tuffnut. We're experts in dragonology, and we'll be teaching you all about how to take care of your own little fire-breathing killing machine!"

The young girls were surprisingly happy to hear this, cheering and asking when they were gonna get a dragon, one even shouting that she heard the Nadder was the most lethal one. Another responded that the Night Fury was obviously way better at killing people, and it quickly devolved into a shouting mess.

"This is gonna be good," Ruffnut whispered to her brother.

"I'm so proud of them! They're the future this island needs," Tuff said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Don't worry, my young Loki's. There are plenty of lethal dragons for everyone! They're all in here!" Ruff said as Barf and Belch pushed a cart with big cages into the pasture. "Let's open one up!"

"Aren't you gonna teach us first?" one of the girls asked.

"Nah, we believe people learn best in chaos," Tuffnut said as he fiddled with one of the cages. "Where's that key…"

"Don't tell me you lost the keys. Even Hiccup didn't lose those and he can't even see them," Ruffnut whispered to him.

"Uhm… Okay girls, you are here to learn about dragons. But seeing as you're Bog- _Burglars_ , I think it's important for the… cross-cultural exchange to show you how we Berkians pick locks. Come over here and see how it's done!" Tuffnut said after extensively searching his pockets.

"Good idea, brother. We're truly spreading the word of Loki," Ruff commented as Tuffnut pulled lockpicks from his belt. "Also girls, Hiccup or Astrid don't need to know about these… extracurricular activities. Best not mention it to Camicazi or Bertha either. Or your parents. Anyone really. Just keep it a secret, and use it!"

* * *

Snotlout was getting frustrated. He could understand these poor girls were nervous about him, but did they have to run away every time he used a line? At least only one of them smacked him so far.

He just had to start somewhere. If he managed to get one girl, surely she'd tell her friends about his skills and they'll flock to him.

"Come on Claire, it's almost time for us to be in Hiccup's class! We'll be late!" a group of girls called out to one following behind.

"Coming! I just have to get my stuff!" she called back, and Snotlout saw his chance.

"Hello there," he said, walking right in her path. At least this one didn't look scared. In fact, she just looked annoyed.

"Do I know you?" she asked, glaring at him.

"Hello, Claire. I'm Snotlout, but you can call me Thor. You wanna know why? Because when I hammer you, you'll think lightning is striking," he told her. Her mouth fell open, and he was sure this was the one.

"Rule Number Three!" she suddenly shouted, and before he could even begin to question what this rule was, she kicked him right between the legs.

Snotlout was not proud of the high-pitched scream that came out of his throat. When his hands flew down, she slapped him across the face for good measure, and not for the first time he wondered why the gods hated him so much.

When his teary vision cleared up, the girl was gone. Thankfully not many people seemed to have witnessed his utter humiliation. No wait, it wasn't like that… He was just going easy on her! He tried to make her feel strong and proud, like she had power over his masculinity. Surely she'll be back any second to  _claim her prize!_

Snotlout sat back against a nearby wall, the pain slowly lessening as he waited for her to come back.

"Where is he? Where is that womanizing Berk boy?!" a loud voice shouted, coming from around a corner. While Snotlout had been waiting hours for a girl to call for him, he could tell this wasn't what he was hoping for.

"Where is the swine who said those disgusting things to my Svana?!" the voice called, coming closer. Although his groin protested, he forced himself to his feet and ran as fast as he could away from the huntress.

At least the girls were hearing about him. That's a start, right?

* * *

"Terrors are very simple dragons. They always want to fly back to the place where they were born. These Terrors were born on Berk, so if we were to release them, they'd fly there," Fishlegs explained to the small group of Burglars interested in Air Mail. They mostly seemed to be merchants and sailors.

"So you just tie a letter to them, and then on Berk they can read it?" one of the women asked, looking skeptical.

"Pretty much! We use these canisters, they can contain a dozen letters, so you can send many messages with one dragon. For example, I want to let Chief Stoick know we made it safely to Bog Island and are now setting up this mail station. So that's what I wrote, and now I just give it to this little guy. Anyone else have any messages they want to send to Berk?" Fishlegs said, putting his letter in the canister, feeling a little nervous about being alone with so many strangers.

Two of the women had letters they'd like to send. One was a merchant who wanted to order tools from Gobber, and another wanted to write to her father, who was apparently a fisherman on Berk. Fishlegs showed the crowd how to feed the caged dragons as they wrote their messages. When they were done, he added them to the canister and sealed it.

"So now we just tie it to this little guy's leg, and let him go," he said, reaching his hands through the cage bars to do just that. Unfortunately, it seemed like the Terrors didn't like their new home, and bit him repeatedly. Thank the gods for his thick gloves.

"Hehe, they can get a little excited. Be sure to only release one," Fishlegs said, reaching into his pocket to grab the key. However, he was interrupted by the sounds of many dragon screeches. He looked up to see people running away from a horde of baby dragons, screaming and yelling children following them.

"Get them under control! They're just babies!" Someone shouted, but then Fishlegs heard a familiar voice.

"No, let them live free! Embrace the chaos! Loki commands it!" Tuffnut said. As the horde of dragons flew through the pasture, some of the little girls from the Twins' class ran towards the Terror cages.

"Look! More little dragons!" they shouted as Fishlegs tried to get the twins' attention.

"What are you doing? You're supposed to teach them how to tame the dragons!" he managed to say as his Air Mail students scattered, fleeing the excited Zipplebacks or chasing after their daughters.

"We  _are_ teaching them! They need to know the true personality of dragons! Their agility, their speed, and their destructiveness!" Ruffnut said as one of the little Nadders sneezed, setting fire to a nearby barn.

"And what do you think Hiccup will do when he sees this?!" Fishlegs screamed, his panic increasing when one of the children tried to grab a Gronkle, only for the dragon to barf rocks on her. She immediately started wailing when the black rocks disintegrated, staining her green dress.

"Fish. I thought you knew by now.  _Hiccup can't see_. It's fine," Tuffnut said calmly, like he was explaining it to a five-year old.

Fishlegs ignored the patronizing tone, focusing instead on the  _actual_ five-year olds in danger.

"It's okay, girl, it wasn't hot, thankfully. Just some coal on your dress!" he told the crying girl who was still holding on to the squirming Gronkle. "Just let the dragon go, you're scaring him."

"Hiccup might not be able to see this, but Astrid might," Ruffnut said.

"I don't think it's a question of 'might' anymore. She's gonna notice this," Tuffnut said, gesturing at the burning barn producing a column of smoke high into the sky. Fishlegs thankfully managed to get the little girl to stop crying, just as her mom ran into the pasture to take her home.

"So… what you're saying is, she's gonna come after us with her axe anyway, so we might as well cause as much chaos as possible?" Ruffnut replied, looking thoughtful. Fishlegs wanted to protest, but a flock of baby Zipplebacks flew at him, distracting him from the twins and the other children.

"Well, kids, we've taught you everything we know! Now spread the word of Loki!" Tuffnut shouted, and Fishlegs' scream of "NO!" was lost in the cheering of little girls.

Little girls who were picking the locks on the Terror cages.

* * *

Hiccup felt remarkably calm in the face of dozens of voices asking him and Astrid about dragons. In the Academy at home he got nervous when just the twins and Snotlout talked at the same time, but with these Bogs he didn't feel nearly as threatened.

"Look, Miss Astrid, he's touching my hand! What do I do now?" one of the girls shouted, and Hiccup's smile fell a little. He wished he could see it.

Astrid let go of his hand, moving towards the girl who was bonding with her dragon, leaving Hiccup alone in the darkness. He knew it was silly and childish, but he always felt a little lonely if she wasn't holding his hand.

Thankfully the new group coming in was willing to occupy the time, asking him all about what food dragons ate, what flying was like, or how to bond with a dragon. He answered as best he could, before raising his hands in a silencing gesture when they kept asking the same questions.

"Okay, I get that you all want to know the secret to winning a dragon's trust, so Toothless and me will demonstrate," he said, gesturing Toothless to come a little closer. "Can you all see me?" he asked, getting a chorus of "yes"es in return.

The girls fell silent as he described how he had bonded with Toothless, and many held their breath when he raised his hand so the Night Fury could touch it.

He felt Toothless' breath on his palm, but right before the dragon leaned in, a shout made them both jump.

"Where is that disgusting boy?!" a voice Hiccup didn't recognize screamed.

"Uh, what?" he asked, not sure if he was disgusting or not.

"Not you, that black-haired one! He said the most horrible things to my little girl! I want him punished! You! You can help me find him!" the lady shouted, and Hiccup awkwardly stepped towards her.

"No, still not you, blind boy! I was pointing to her! Your helper! She can actually see people! She's useful!" the woman shouted, and Hiccup stepped back in shock. He knew that was how many people felt about him, but to hear it spoken that bluntly hurt.

"Hey! You take that back! Just because Hiccup is blind doesn't mean he's useless!" Astrid shouted. Hiccup sensed her stepping forward, and figured she was reaching for her axe.

"Look kid, I don't care about this helpless boy, I just want to find the pig who dishonored my daughter," the woman said, and although he was very tempted to become angry, Hiccup figured he'd act like the chief's heir and intervene before Astrid lobbed her head off.

"Okay, okay, let's all calm down! Astrid, why don't you try to find Snotlout, and I'll keep training the class?" he said, laughing nervously.

There was a long awkward silence, in which he tried to keep smiling, even though he kept wondering how many people on this island thought like this woman did.

How many people on Berk thought that way?

"Fine. I'll look for him. Alone," Astrid said clearly. Hiccup sighed, figuring that was the closest thing he was gonna get to a diplomatic solution.

"Good, little girl. Apparently he's been spotted near the square," the woman said as the two walked away, though Hiccup could sense Astrid's footsteps moved faster.

"Mr. Hiccup? You were going to teach us about bonding," one of the girls nervously said, and Hiccup remembered there were other people here.

"Right, right. Come on Toothless, let's show them. So you move your hand like this, and turn your face away…" he explained, cheerfulness returning as he taught the eager girls. No more nasty insults about his blindness, no more stupid chief stuff. Just sharing knowledge. But just when Toothless was about to lean in again, there was another interruption.

"HICCUP! The twins! They've gone crazy! Well, crazier! They released the baby dragons, and my Air Mail Terrors, and the village is in chaos! I can't catch them alone! You've gotta help!" Fishlegs screamed, making the girls gasp and chatter when they turned to look at the village.

"Look, smoke and fire!"

"I think that's my house!"

"My mom told me that these men would bring nothing but destruction!"

"Maybe we should stay away from these dragons. They're dangerous!"

When Hiccup sensed the girls moving to leave the pasture, something in him snapped. He was done. Done acting nice, done with the twins, done with Snotlout. He had just wanted a nice relaxing vacation teaching about dragons. But apparently he couldn't even have that.

"No one is going anywhere," he said clearly and loudly. Everyone froze.

"Fishlegs. You take care of this class and the adult dragons. Don't let them escape, and try to get some bonding going. Toothless, with me," he continued, trying to make it clear that there was to be no arguing.

"O-Okay… but what are you going to do then?" Fishlegs asked nervously.

"Clean up the twins' mess so we're not kicked off the island and I can continue teaching tomorrow," Hiccup simply said, before grabbing his cane and walking into the village.

* * *

Snotlout was starting to realize this approach wasn't working. None of the girls he approached had actually responded well to his romantic and clever lines. In fact, they usually ran away. Screaming. Sometimes kicking or slapping him. But that wasn't what made him realize he was in a bad spot.

It was the mob of angry women searching the village for him, furious at the 'horrific' things Snotlout had said to their daughters or sisters. Honestly Snotlout didn't really see what was so bad about it, it wasn't like he told anyone they looked like a troll.

The mob disagreed, clearly, and that's why Snotlout was currently hiding in an alleyway underneath a cart. Thankfully the Bogs seemed distracted by hordes of tiny dragons overrunning the town. Terrors and baby dragons were everywhere, stealing fish, making nests, setting fires, and squawking loudly. He wasn't sure where they had come from, but he thanked whoever set them free.

He could still hear his pursuers talk over the dragons' roars, however, wincing when a passing woman described in detail what she would do if she caught him.

Snotlout had wanted the Bogs to handle his manhood, but not like that!

Just when he thought it was hopeless, he recognized someone walking by. Realizing this might be the only chance to get out of here, he called out as quietly as he could.

"Camicazi? Princess? A little help?"

She whipped her head around, quickly spotting him underneath the cart.

"There you are, you moron. I would kill you myself for what you've done, but I'm responsible for my guests, so I suppose I have to keep you safe. I'll smuggle you to the ship," she said, and Snotlout smiled smugly, realizing they'd be alone..

"Girl, we don't have to be on a ship for me to rock your world," he said as she glanced around the corner. Cami sighed.

"You realize that no girl is impressed by these vulgar lines, right? Look, your dragon is near the ship. Just get on that beast, fly out of here and never come back," she said, ducking her head back when two women ran past the alley.

"So harsh, princess. You've got the fire of a Monstrous Nightmare, but you're as sharp as a Nadder. But let me tell you, you are most like a Night Fury: Unique, badass, and dive-bombing straight into my heart," he told her, eyes widening when she froze. She looked angry at first, but then she smiled at him.

"You know what? You did it. You won me over," the Burglar princess said, walking towards him, her hips swaying.

Snotlout nearly stopped breathing when she got closer and closer, unable to believe it finally worked.

"W-What are you doing?" he managed to say.

"What do you think? Isn't this what you've been after the whole time, what you've been asking for from all those girls? Let's do it!" she whispered, getting closer to him than any girl had ever been before.

He shuddered when she pressed her body against him, her soft breath the only sound he could hear. The shouts of the women and the squawks of the dragons faded out until there was only her and him.

Snotlout moved his head towards her while lifting his hand to her chest. He closed his eyes, knowing that in a second he'd feel her lips on his.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH" he screamed when out of nowhere she grabbed his arm and twisted it before headbutting him. Before he could even begin to comprehend what had happened, he was face-down on the ground while she sat on his back. .

"Boys. So incredibly, unbelievably stupid. I just have to get close, smile a little, and your brains turn off," Cami said with disgust as she bound his hands with rope. Running footsteps approached, no doubt alerted by his scream. Snotlout struggled, trying to push her off his back, but she was too strong.

"Not fair! You tricked-" he couldn't finish his sentence when she pushed his mouth into the dirt.

"Shut up. It's clear you have no idea how to talk to women, so you better stay silent," Cami said. Snotlout considered protesting, but when several women pointed their spears and swords at his groin he decided to maybe postpone the seducing until tomorrow.

* * *

Astrid didn't think she had ever seen Hiccup so angry. He was trembling as he paced in front of the stocks holding Snotlout and the Twins. The troublemakers had been brought to the plaza to be sentenced. Cami had barely been able to stop the angry mob from enacting their own justice on Snotlout, the people only calming down when Bertha promised she and Hiccup would give them appropriate punishment.

Honestly, Astrid couldn't blame Hiccup for being angry. He was covered in burns and scrapes, his fine clothes torn and scorched. Baby dragons fight like Hel when you try to put them back in a cage, and Hiccup wrangled more than everyone else on the island combined. He and Toothless had been relentless, chasing the sounds of chaos and screams and capturing every untamed dragon they came across.

At least the nasty woman from earlier wouldn't be able to say Hiccup was useless anymore. In fact, the Bog-Burglars seemed to have a newfound respect for him. They were completely silent as Hiccup talked.

"One hour. I leave you alone for one hour. With one job. To teach the kids about how to treat dragons. Simple stuff. How to feed dragons. How to touch dragons. How to talk to dragons," Hiccup said, his voice shaking from barely controlled fury.

"In our defense, we were getting to those things. We just figured we'd do it more… hands-on," Tuffnut said, and Hiccup snapped.

"And what have those kids learned about dragons?! Nothing, apart from how freed baby dragons set things on fire! You were teaching them the very opposite of taming and training dragons!" he screamed, and even with their limited mobility in the stocks, the twins shrank back. For once they seemed to have no retort, as shocked as Astrid was at this Hiccup.

"And you! You were clearly told that it was a privilege for men to be invited to Bog Island! And you spat on that honor!" Hiccup rounded on Snotlout, who actually looked sheepish.

"Hey, I thought we were buddies now! After that adventure on Changewing Island we're best friends, right? So why so mad? We rescued Blendin together!" Snotlout tried. Blendin clearly didn't appreciate being used in this argument, growling and huffing at Snotlout, who yelped when an invisible snout probed him. Hiccup took a deep breath.

"Because you're here not just as my friend, or as dragon rider. You're here as representative of Berk and the Dragon Academy. And you made a mockery of it! Disrespecting our hosts, insulting their traditions, assaulting them, disrupting our classes," Hiccup listed, fists clenched.

Chief Bertha stood nearby, silently observing Hiccup's rant. Although her outward appearance seemed angry, Astrid felt like underneath she could detect… pride? Or approval?

Astrid approved as well. Not of the riders' behaviour, but of Hiccup stepping up and disciplining them. He was often so nervous on Berk, too timid to yell when the riders were out of line. But it was like the disruption here on Bog Island was enough to push him over the edge.

"Hiccup, surely we can come up with a nice arrangement that'll let us out of these stocks, right?" Tuffnut said.

"Oh yeah, we still have to decide your punishment. Thanks for reminding me," Hiccup said sarcastically, making Ruffnut groan.

"Good job, muttonhead," the girl twin muttered.

"Let's see… of course Bertha has to approve as well…" Hiccup said as he gestured in Bertha's vague direction, though missing her by a few yards. "...But I think you two should stay far, far away from the dragons from now on. I think you should start by fixing all the damage you caused. Repair those houses and barns, remove those nests, fix scratched paint. And after that, I'm sure Chief Bertha has some work she needs done as well," he said clearly.

"Indeed I do," Bertha said in a deep voice, though Astrid was sure she was struggling not to laugh. "I feel like these two ought to learn more about rules, so they can transcribe our lawbooks. The old ink is fading, so we need new copies. That should keep them busy."

"Aww, come on! That's just lame!" the twins said in unison, though they fell silent when Hiccup pointed his cane at them.

"Sounds good." Hiccup nodded. "And as for you, Snotlout… I don't think I should be the one to punish you. I'm not the one you insulted, offended, and harrassed. These women are. So what do  _they_ think should happen to you?" he asked. Snotlout gulped, and all blood drained from his face when increasingly bloody suggestions were shouted.

"Okay, one rule: No violence. We need him home in one piece. But it seems that everyone has very different ideas of how you should pay back your debt to them. So how about this. Every girl you harassed gets to have you as a servant for a day. From how many people you bothered, that should be enough to last you the rest of our trip here. You'll have to do their chores, do whatever they say. Wash clothes, cook dinner, clean houses, whatever they need."

"But that's woman's work!" Snotlout exclaimed, eliciting boos from the audience.

"I don't want him around my daughter at all! He'll just say more vulgar things!" someone shouted, and Hiccup looked thoughtful.

"Hmm, seems like your big mouth got you into this mess. So I think you shouldn't talk anymore. Unless ordered so by whoever you're serving on that day, you stay silent. If I recall correctly, the Bogs used to have a class of boys who weren't allowed to speak, right? Sounds like it could be fitting to bring back that old tradition for a short while," Hiccup said, grinning. Cheers and applause echoed through the plaza as the different families started arguing over who got him first.

Bertha moved forward to bring some order back, presenting some refinements on Hiccup's judgment, but overall it seemed she approved of his ideas.

"I didn't know Hiccup had that much bite," Camicazi whispered to her, and Astrid nodded breathlessly. Damn, Hiccup acting like this was rare, but she  _liked it_!

But it seemed she wasn't the only one. A group of young women nearby were talking about how they'd like to marry Hiccup and have his children, and Astrid suddenly felt less warm towards the Bog Burglars.

So although he was reverting back to his dorky self as he walked over to her, grabbing her hand and awkwardly smiling, she gave him a passionate kiss, sneaking in some tongue, trying to tell him without words how much she  _loved_ this assertive Hiccup.

And sure, maybe she wanted to tell those girls that Hiccup was  _hers_. But Hiccup didn't need to know that.

"Want to get back to teaching about dragons?" she asked after releasing him. It took him a few moments to recover and get his breathing going again, but then he smiled wildly and nodded.

"Dragon Training class is starting again! This time without the troublemakers!" Camicazi announced, and a crowd of Vikings followed them back to the field of dragons.


	16. Escape to Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discouraged by the lack of faith the Berkians have in a blind heir, and nervous of chiefing lessons and the upcoming wedding, Hiccup avoids Berk more and more. Astrid chases him, but when they come across a mysterious rider who kidnaps Hiccup, they learn about what it means to leave your home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, it's been a while. i'm sorry. But the new info on HTTYD3 are giving me inspiration and making me write again. Only a couple chapters until the wedding! If you enjoy, please leave a comment or kudos, they really help me keep motivated.

Stormfly squawked loudly when she spotted Toothless and Hiccup on the small island below. It had taken the Nadder hours to find them. It was getting more difficult by the week. They were far away from Berk, further than Astrid had ever flown in one sitting before. As far as she knew, no one lived out here. No villages, no ports, nothing.

"There you are!" Astrid shouted as Stormfly landed next to the boys. Hiccup was on his knees, using his knife to draw in his copper notebook.

"Milady! To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked, not turning his face towards her. It was a quirk from his blindness Astrid was used to by now, but today it annoyed her.

"Your dad is looking for you.," she said, sitting down next to him as Stormfly and Toothless ran off to play. Hiccup groaned.

"Ugh, I already know what he wants to say.  _Hiccup, you're the Pride of Berk, and I couldn't be prouder. So now I decided it's time-_ " Hiccup said, imitating Stoick's heavy voice, and Astrid's heart shot into her throat when she realized where he was going.

"To make you chief! That's amazing! What an honor!" she exclaimed, happy that Stoick saw how amazing Hiccup is as well.

"No, no, it's not like that, okay? I'm not… Chiefing is his thing. Speeches, talking to people, planning stuff, that's not… I don't know how to do those things. I can barely do some of those. But that's not what's important right now. You're here, we're alone and together, far away from my dad! How was your day? Oh, I made you something!" he said, his tone changing from worried to happy in moments as he grabbed a wooden disk from his pocket. It had a shape of a Nadder on it. Hiccup had been trying woodcarving recently, saying it helped him with his blindness.

The shift was so sudden Astrid was lost for words. Hiccup wasn't deterred by her silence, putting the nadder art in her hand before grabbing her face and pressing his lips to her cheek.

"I've been trying to draw the shape of this island, but it's really hard to do it based off of Toothless' directions. Do you think it's correct?" he asked, grabbing her hand and pulling it towards the copper plate. Astrid shook her head, pulling her hands back.

This was so confusing and difficult. He wasn't pushing her away or ignoring her, whenever they were together he  _doted_ on her. She had no doubt in her mind Hiccup loved her with all his heart. And yet, at the same time he was distant, avoiding his responsibilities even more than before. Astrid had no idea what was going on inside Hiccup's head. Ever since they came back from Bog Island he had been… weird.

Well, weirder, at least.

"Stoick wasn't the only one looking for you. Gobber was too. And all of us at the Academy, since you didn't show up for training. And Yakbrain isn't happy with you, because he had to make time in the council meeting yesterday for your presentation, and you weren't even there. I had to do it on my own, even though I barely understand how your irrigation pumps work. Where were you?!" she said tensely, barely able to stop herself from shouting.

To his credit, Hiccup looked actually sheepish. "I'm sorry. I lost track of time. Me and Toothless, we found another island, a big one, and we spent a lot of time mapping it. But I'm sure you did great! You're way better at keeping the class in line anyway." He chuckled at the end, grabbing his knife and awkwardly fidgeting with it.

He was avoiding the topic again. The real reason why he kept running off. Why wouldn't he tell her? She wanted to be angry, but Astrid could see there was something  _wrong_. Something that he was worried about.

"Hiccup… What's going on? You can tell me, you know that. You can tell me anything," she pleaded. Hiccup was always difficult to read because of the blindfold, but now the fear was clear to see. He seemed to freeze up, putting his arms around himself in a defensive posture.

"It's just… there's so much going on on Berk. It's all so busy, between inventing, the academy, my dad, spending time with you, exploring, and now preparing for-" Hiccup's breath shook, like he had trouble even thinking the thought. "-F-For our wedding. It's all too much. I can't handle it," he admitted, and Astrid put her arm over his shoulders, pulling him against her.

"If it's too much, then maybe you should drop one of these things. You could cut down on the inventing or exploring," Astrid offered, and Hiccup shook his head.

"No! Those keep me sane. They ground me. If I focus on an invention or mapping, I feel calm," he said, wildly gesturing. Astrid grabbed his flapping hand, pulling it down to her lap and rubbing it in a way that she knew would relax him.

"Okay, then maybe not so much time at the Academy. Hell, it feels like you're leaving all the teaching to me and Fishlegs anyway!" she said, sharper than she intended.

I know, I know. I want to teach, but Snotlout and the Twins… They make it so difficult. I had hoped that after what happened on Bog Island, they'd be more obedient, but… apparently not. But I still prepare my lesson plans. And I want to do that. Just not with these students."

"Then what do you want, Hiccup? Cancel the wedding?" she exclaimed sarcastically, frustrated at his indecisiveness. Hiccup flinched before freezing, his arms still for once, and he remained silent.

"...You're not saying no." Astrid said, barely able to believe it. That seemed to shake Hiccup enough to get  _some_ response. He jumped up, out of her embrace, and started pacing in circles.

"Of course it's a no! Well, maybe. I don't know! Why would you even suggest that? I-I-I want to marry you! I do, but... " his voice trailed off as his breathing sped up. Astrid stood up as well, barely able to believe this was happening.

"Why is there a 'but' there? Hiccup, if you're having second thoughts about us, then tell me." she said flatly, her head spinning.

"It's not like that, I swear! I love you!" he shouted, reaching out to grab her face, but she dodged.

"Then what is going on?! Something is wrong, Hiccup. Why won't you tell me?" she asked. He shook his head. Toothless and Stormfly ran back into the clearing, obviously alarmed by their raised voices.

"Because I don't even know, okay?! I'm trying to figure it out, trying to figure out who I am, what I'm supposed to be, what my place is in the village, but it's so hard to think on Berk. When I'm out here, flying, mapping, I can focus. No dozens of people demanding my attention at the same time."

Astrid felt like a jerk, but at the same time she still felt hurt. Curse this boy for making her feel so much! Hiccup was so, so hard to get through to sometimes. With his dark days and disabilities, his world was so different from hers. Things that seemed easy or obvious to her weren't so for Hiccup. A mind that was brilliant, faster and smarter than she could even imagine, but at the same time so fragile.

"Hiccup… I want to help, okay? I'm sorry if I make you feel threatened. It's just… it's so hard for me to help if you can't talk to me. Come here," she said, before reaching out and pulling him into a hug. He took a few deep breaths before putting his arms around her as well.

"I love you. More than I know how to say. I swear. It's… You know exactly who you are, and the village knows too. But for me, they don't. They keep seeing Hiccup the Blind, not me.  _I_ don't even see me. Dad doesn't help, he just says I'm a hero, or I shouldn't worry about things like that. But it's about the rest of my  _life_ , how can I not worry?"

"I suppose, but this running off isn't helping. What are you hoping to find out here?" Astrid asked softly. Hiccup shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Something that's not Dad. He's so overbearing lately," he said. Again she felt like he wasn't telling her everything, but this probably wasn't a good moment to push him more.

"Are you coming back to Berk soon? We should work on the next presentation for the council," Astrid said, pulling out of the embrace. Hiccup slowly nodded.

"I will. We can talk more about that steam mill, with the Scauldrons remember? But… I'd like to fly a bit more for now. Clear my head," he slowly said. For a moment Astrid wanted to scream, to tell him to come home dammit, but his forlorn expression stopped her. Something was going on, and no shouting match was going to fix it. Maybe it'd be best if she let him try to find whatever he was looking for.

"Alright then. Don't stay out too long, okay? These are unmapped areas, who knows what dangers there are out here," Astrid said flatly, trying not to let the anger show. She squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek one last time before running towards Stormfly. The sky above had filled with dark clouds during their conversation, and the nearby trees rustled in the strong wind.

"Come on girl, let's go home," she told the Nadder as Hiccup gathered his notebook and mounted Toothless. Stormfly took off, turning east towards Berk as Toothless flew south. As the two boys became smaller Astrid's smile fell. She shook her head, about to turn her gaze away when she saw  _something_.

At first she thought it was a trick of the light, but another glance showed a shadow in the clouds, chasing Hiccup. Astrid frowned, hesitating for just a moment before following them. She soon spotted more and more shadows all around her, and she directed Stormfly to fly lower, away from the clouds. Unfortunately a fog had settled, and even as she flew just above the ocean waves she couldn't see very far. A sudden growl confirmed her suspicions of what these shadows were.

Dragons. Trained to be stealthy and sneak up on riders. Who trained them? And why were they chasing Hiccup?

"Faster, Stormfly!" she told her dragon, hoping to overtake Hiccup and tell him of the danger. He couldn't see the shadows, he'd have no idea of what was following him. But Toothless was fast, even though Hiccup was lying flat on his back clearly paying little attention to the flying.

Suddenly a four-winged dragon descended from the clouds in front of her, placing itself between her and Hiccup. A strange figure was standing on the dragon's back, looking at her through a mask of sorts. Astrid couldn't see very well through the fog, all she could see was spikes and some kind of… staff?

It scared her.

"Hiccup! Hiccup, look out!" Astrid shouted, but she didn't think he could hear her over the loud wind.

The pursuers noticed, however. The figure on the dragon whipped around to stare at Toothless. Astrid considered yelling at the person who could apparently understand her. The figure suddenly moved its staff in some kind of signal.

Without warning a Scuttleclaw swept in from behind, startling Stormfly. The Nadder bucked, and Astrid only barely held on. Just as she tried to put her feet back in the stirrups, another dragon attacked from the front, forcing Stormfly to evade. The sudden movement threw Astrid off, and with a loud scream she fell into the cold waters.

* * *

 

Hiccup sighed deeply, lying on his back on Toothless. His metal foot was still in the pedal, but apart from that he was paying no attention to the flying. If there was a problem Toothless would alert him.

Right now he just wanted to to think. But he also didn't want to think at all, to just focus on the wind in his hair and his dragon's warm scales beneath him. He could fall asleep on Toothless. Wouldn't even be the first time. But today there was too much turmoil in his head to let himself go.

A dragon roar nearby briefly made him lift his head, before sinking down again when Toothless didn't react. Probably just a Scuttleclaw they crossed in mid-air. A dragon who had no idea of the burdens Hiccup was facing.

He tried again to listen to nothing but the wind whipping the blindfold near his ears, but his father's voice kept echoing in his head.  _"With her by your side you're ready, Hiccup! No excuses anymore. You'll have your own household to lead, and soon after, your own village."_

Hiccup had run away when Stoick mentioned the village. Sure, the chiefdom had always loomed vaguely over him, a dark shadow in the future, always far-off.

But ever since he had asked his father for a betrothal contract and the wedding date was set, it became a lot more concrete. At least to Stoick. He seemed to be in so much more of a hurry, like he had to teach Hiccup everything about chiefing before the wedding.

And the more Stoick tried to push Hiccup to chief, the harder Hiccup flew away. To the forge, to his inventions, to his mapping. Astrid didn't understand. Not really. Hiccup could sense that in her hands. She kept trying to send him back there, back to Berk where he felt like more of an outsider than ever. Since he came back fromBog Island he noticed more and more how different the people of Berk treated him.

He couldn't take the frustration anymore, and screamed into the void until his throat was raw. Toothless crooned sadly, and Hiccup moved a hand to scratch him.

"It's okay, bud. It's not your fault. Just stupid… human stuff. Just keep flying, okay?" he said, before frowning. He could hear something in the wind. Flapping wings all around, following them.

He held his breath, cursing the fact that his echolocation was useless in the air. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched, by something other than just wild dragons. Toothless growled, clearly sensing it too.

Suddenly there were screeches and roars all around, and Hiccup's hands flew up to cover his sensitive ears.

"Toothless!" he shouted at the same time as the dragon gave him the signal to go down. But before Hiccup could even sit upright and follow the command he was snatched out of the saddle, his metal foot thankfully staying with him. Out of pure instinct he managed to grasp his cane, holding it tight in his left hand.

Toothless screamed in panic, and Hiccup sensed him falling uncontrollably.

"Wait! Let me go! My dragon, he can't fly without me! He'll drown!" he shouted desperately, hoping there was someone out there who could understand him. There were so many flapping wings he couldn't tell if any of the dragons flew down to save Toothless.

"Where are you taking me! Who are you?!" he shouted to no answer, though he did sense  _something_ moving right in front of him, looking at him closely. He considered attacking with the cane, but decided not to antagonize whoever was doing this.

They flew for a while like that, Hiccup hanging from some dragon's claws with no idea what was happening. The air suddenly became stuffier, and the flapping wings echoed from stone walls. A moment later he was dropped on a hard surface. His cane slipped from his hand when he stumbled, and he scrambled to find it as it rolled away.

Hiccup sighed in relief the moment he felt the cold iron, but a soft growl reminded him of his predicament. He wasted no time pressing the button to expose the cane's sharp tip, before hitting his belt with the shaft twice. The echo told him he was in some kind of cave, but he was surrounded by things that weren't stone. Dragons, probably. He spun around, trying to look intimidating.

"Who are you? Can you understand me? Where is my dragon?" he shouted, chiming another echo in an attempt to find a leader or escape route.

A sad growl he'd recognize anywhere broke him out of his battle-stance, and a moment later Toothless was dropped onto the floor on the other side of the cavern.

"Bud? Are you alright?" Hiccup asked, moving towards the dragon while lifting his spear again. Something moved in front of him. Hiccup didn't dare charge.

"Get away from my dragon! Let us go!" he shouted again, hoping they wouldn't hear the fear in his voice. Toothless growled, but then there was a weird scratching sound, and a slump, like the dragon had been knocked out.

The figure moved closer to Hiccup, whose breathing sped up.

"Who are you?" he asked, fairly sure it was human based on the sounds. "I don't want to fight! Just let us go!" he said, backing away from the person until he hit a wall. He thrust his spear forward, but the figure dodged before slapping his wrist, knocking the weapon out of his hand.

"It is you," a voice, cracked like it hadn't spoken in years, said. "I knew I… heard your name. What… happened to you?" the female voice continued, words slow and uncertain. Hiccup didn't dare answer, trying to get away from the gloved hand touching his chin, before sliding over his blindfold.

"Do I know you?" he whispered, pushing her hand away from the blindfold.

"Of course you don't... recognize me. You were only a babe. And with that… thing on your face… But a mother never forgets."

* * *

 

Astrid was fuming.

Well, really she was freezing when Stormfly pulled her out of the cold ocean and carried her to the nearest beach. But she barely felt her soaked clothes at first, too busy shouting profanities and curses at the strange figure, even though it had left long ago.

Only when she fell onto the soft sand did she realize she was shivering violently.

"S-S-Stormfly, fire," she stuttered, pulling her soaked cloak off. Astrid wanted nothing more than to chase after this dragon rider, certain that Hiccup was in danger. But she also knew about survival. If she didn't dry herself, she'd get hypothermia. She could die.

So, although it hurt her heart, she sat down as Stormfly pulled a dead tree trunk to the beach and ignited it. The warmth of the fire fell over her like a blanket, but she knew she couldn't fall asleep. Looking around quickly to see if anyone was peeping on her, she took off her wet shirt and leggings, putting her axe next to the fire as well. When she'd get home she'd have to clean it, make sure it didn't rust.

Damn that rider. Damn Hiccup for having to fly off on his own. Damn Stoick for pushing him so hard. Damn everyone!

But Astrid couldn't let emotions get the better of her. Hiccup needed her. She had to focus.

Okay, she'd stay here until she and her clothes were dry, and then she'd have Stormfly track Hiccup. But with what? She needed something that had his scent on it. Astrid grabbed her cloak, sighing in relief when she found his woodcarving in the pocket. That would do.

"Thanks for being here, girl," she whispered to Stormfly, cuddling up a bit tighter to the warm dragon.

Stormfly squawked a bit later, bringing Astrid from her light slumber to find her clothes were dry. The woodcarving brought back her sense of urgency, and she quickly put her clothes back on and hopped onto her dragon. The sun was still high in the sky, so she couldn't have slept more than half an hour.

Her hands kept wandering to her axe as they flew, imagining what she'd do to the strange rider. Soon enough they found a giant island made of ice, the sight of which made Astrid gasp and rub her eyes. Several dragons flew around it, but Astrid directed Stormfly to a low tunnel near the water's edge. They got in unnoticed.

Inside all sound echoed, and Astrid strained to hear Hiccup's cane. Normally she hated that sound, it gave her headaches, but now she wanted nothing more than to know he was okay. What if he was… No, she couldn't think like that. She just had to focus on what she'd say when she found him. She had to tell Hiccup she didn't care he was being obtuse, she just wanted him in her arms!

Gods, if her younger self could have heard her thoughts, she'd think she was crazy. Maybe she was. Maybe that's what loving Hiccup did to someone.

As her thoughts raced, Astrid's legs weren't idle, climbing and running through the narrow tunnels as quickly as she could. Stormfly could only barely follow.

As she climbed rough stairs the caves became warmer, and more light shone through the icy walls and through tiny holes in the ceiling. Suddenly Astrid came upon a large open room. Overwhelming noise from dozens if not hundreds of dragons echoed from the cave entrance. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the blinding sunlight, but when they did she gasped at the sight.

A green valley, filled with dragons of every color imaginable. She walked closer to the edge to see a lake filled with scauldrons and other water dragons.

What was this? Some kind of army? Did the figure she had seen kidnap dragons and bring them here?

She ran outside, along the ridge. The dragons seemed to ignore her mostly, though some tiny babies flocked to Stormfly. Soon enough she heard voices. She recognized Hiccup's, and a… woman?

Taking a deep breath, Astrid unsheathed her axe before walking towards the voices as silently as she could. They were on a higher platform, and Stormfly gave her a boost as she climbed up. Looking around a rock, she spotted them. Hiccup was there, and Toothless, talking to the figure she had seen earlier. She recognized the staff, and the armor, but the spiked mask was gone.

"Release him," she said clearly as she walked up, axe raised.

"Astrid?" Hiccup said with a gasp, jumping to his feet. The figure turned around, and she could now see it was indeed a woman, with brown hair who vaguely reminded her of Hiccup.

"Hiccup, get over here. She's dangerous!" Astrid said, moving towards the woman.

"No, this is my mom!" Hiccup shouted, running towards her, and she nearly dropped her axe in shock.

"Is… Is that what she told you? How do you know she's not lying? She nearly killed me! She kidnapped you!" Astrid shouted, raising her axe again. The woman stood up, staff in front of her in a defensive pose.

"I am. I recognized him by the scar-" the woman said before Astrid interrupted her.

"That can't be true. You- his mother died when he was a baby! He didn't get his scars until… until recently!" Astrid stuttered, not wanting to talk about her role in it.

"No, the one on his chin! What scars are you talking about?" the woman asked. Astrid still didn't believe it was really his mother.

"I just know, Astrid. Now please, put the axe down. Let's talk civilly, okay?" Hiccup said, reaching blindly for her axe and pushing it down gently.

"You still knocked me off my dragon," Astrid said, before looking more closely at Toothless. His tail fin was soaking wet. "And I think you did the same to Hiccup."

"Okay, okay, okay, let's just all start over, water under the bridge! I should introduce you to each other! Astrid, this is my mother Valka. Valka, this is Astrid Hofferson, my betrothed," Hiccup said, gesturing awkwardly between them.

"Hofferson… Oh, you must be Kirsten's daughter! I was so sure she was pregnant the last time I saw her, even if she didn't seem to notice herself! Then you must be Erik's sister! I remember little Erik, he was born just a few days after Hiccup! How is he?" Valka asked, walking towards her. Astrid stepped backwards, feeling like she had just been slapped in the face.

"He… He's dead. He died before I was even born. He died in the same raid where you died- Where you  _left_ , apparently! Where you ran off and left your son alone!" she shouted, unable to believe this. Valka stuttered, but couldn't formulate a response.

"She was carried off! It wasn't her choice!" Hiccup said, moving between them again.

"Then why didn't she come back later? She can obviously ride a dragon now! There was nothing stopping her!" Astrid said, before sighing deeply.

"My mother… She told me stories about you! She cared so much about you! She was heartbroken! She lost her son and her best friend in the same night, and she still nursed Hiccup because you were gone and she felt it was her duty to you!" she screamed, tears springing in her eyes. Kirsten talked so often about Valka. About how much of her was in Hiccup.

How she died to protect Hiccup.

A lie.

Kirsten didn't know, of course she didn't, but a lie nonetheless.

"It was not an easy decision. But I thought it was better for Hiccup if I stayed away. I just caused trouble on Berk. It couldn't change," Valka slowly said. Hiccup sat back down on a rock, shaking his head.

"How would that be better?! He needed you! He wasn't safe, he wasn't okay! He is blind, dammit, and he lost his leg because his father didn't listen to him and he had no one else! He could have used his goddamn mother when he was learning how to walk again! When he was figuring out how to get around the village blindly! When everyone treated him differently for wearing a blindfold!" Astrid shouted, raising her axe again.

The older woman staggered back, shaking her head violently.

"I didn't know!" she shouted, turning away. "I'm sorry!" came out in a staggered sob, before she suddenly ran away, back to the caves. Hiccup jumped up again, taking a few steps after her before hesitating. He turned back to Astrid, before turning his head towards where Valka had run off to.

Astrid's heart broke when she saw how torn he looked. What had she done? He found his mother after 18 years, and she scared her off.

"Go after her. Don't let her get away again," she said softly. Hiccup stepped towards her and grabbed her hand. "I was out of line, I ruined what should have been a happy moment for you," she said. Hiccup shook his head before drawing a heart on her hand with his finger.

Their code for "I love you".

Before she could respond he was running as fast as he could with the cane to the cave. "Mom, wait!" he shouted. Toothless followed, obviously confused. Stormfly crooned and nudged Astrid with her beak.

"Why do we keep drifting apart?" she whispered to her dragon, embracing the beak as she sank to her knees. Nothing to do but wait until Hiccup had figured his stuff out.

Again.

* * *

 

Hiccup hated leaving Astrid at that moment, but he couldn't let his mother (he still couldn't really believe he had a  _mother!_ ) slip away again. On the one hand he was angry at Astrid for driving her away and being so confronting. They just met, why did they immediately have to fight?

But on the other hand… she was right. The questions she had asked were ones that Hiccup had himself. But he hadn't dared ask them. Not directly, and his mother hadn't given much of an answer. Maybe if Astrid hadn't been there these things would have been unsaid for a long time. Festering, breeding resentment.

Astrid did like to rip the bandages off quickly.

Hiccup followed Toothless, who was tracking Valka's scent. He couldn't move very quickly on the unfamiliar ground, tapping his cane as fast as he could and softly chiming echoes when they were inside the cave again.

Minutes later he heard a soft sniffing from the next room. Toothless had stopped walking, obviously unsure of what to do. Hiccup took a deep breath before walking into the warm room.

"Mom?" he asked, voice squeaking on the unfamiliar word. A gasp, but before she could run away again he talked again.

"Sorry about Astrid back there. She's… direct. But she was right, in a way. I… Mom, I've wondered for  _eighteen_ years what happened to you. And now you're here and… I need to know. I think we both need to know. So… can we talk?" he said, holding his breath at the end.

"Of course, son," Valka said before grabbing his arm. The touch was almost electric, and Hiccup's arm twitched, instinctively trying to get away. Normally he hated it when people grabbed his arm without asking. But now it was different. Comforting almost.

Is that what a mother's touch was?

It almost felt like he was dreaming as Valka led him to a bench of sorts and gently sat him down.

"Why did you never come back, Mom?" he eventually asked. "I… missed you. It wasn't easy, and Dad… he wasn't good at listening. We're getting a little better lately, but still… It's so hard," he rambled, not sure why he could talk about this with someone who was essentially a stranger. It felt right somehow.

"I suppose it was mostly your father. He couldn't change. Berk couldn't change. Or so I thought. I still can't really believe Stoick would accept dragons," Valka said, and Hiccup's face fell. His hands drifted to the prosthetic leg, feeling an itch in the foot that wasn't there.

"It wasn't easy to convince him," he whispered. "But it did happen! Berk changed completely! We have dragon races now, dragon-powered forges, every clan has at least one dragon! You… You couldn't have overlooked that. The entire archipelago knows about it. Why didn't you?" he asked, shaking his head again. Tales of the dragons had made it all the way to Bog Island, and yet only a few hours away from Berk his mother had no idea.

Valka sighed deeply.

"When Cloudjumper took me away, I was terrified at first. But then I felt… free. Away from the expectations on Berk. Being a dragon killer, being the chief's wife, being a doting mother to the heir, bearing more children. Everyone was always telling me I was too frail, that you were too frail, that I was doing everything all wrong."

"And here among the dragons, for the first time in my life I could do what  _I_  wanted. Say the things I wanted to say with no one to judge me, ride dragons and figure out their secrets with no one telling me they were devils. And I guess some part of me was scared that… if I saw you again, or heard anything about you, I couldn't resist going back to that place I hated so much. It was selfish, and wrong, but-" Valka choked on a sob, and Hiccup didn't know what to do.

What were you supposed to do when your Mom poured her heart out?

"I get it. I… Oh gods, I'm doing the same thing. Everyone on Berk is always doubting me because of the blindness. They think I am dumb, or that I can't invent because of it. So I fly away. That's how I came this way. And Dad, he wants me to be chief, but I don't think I can. Speeches, planning, people, that's his thing. It's not me," he slowly said. Suddenly his mother grabbed his hands, making him gasp.

"And yet you just gave me a speech about something that must be so hard to talk about! To… To someone who's a stranger to you! And these things, you made them?" she said, releasing one hand to run her fingers over his prosthetic and his notebook, lifting his cane and checking his tool belt, before turning away to Toothless' tail. Hiccup heard a soft warble as Toothless sniffed Valka, before letting her inspect the artificial fin.

"I guess. But… You're different. You're… You're my mother! You  _understand_. The people on Berk… They've changed, but I'm still different," he said as Valka turned back to him.

"What about that girl? Astrid?" she asked, and Hiccup sighed.

"She's amazing. I don't know what I'd do without her. She was there for me when nobody else was," he said, trying not to sound accusing, though it still came out sharp. "But she still doesn't  _get_ what it's like. This blindness, the leg, the… My head is all weird sometimes," he rambled, stopping when Valka grabbed his hands again.

"I've only had one conversation with her where she mostly yelled at me, but I can tell that girl loves you, Hiccup. She cares about you so much, it's clear as day. And you obviously love her just as much. That's a precious thing that many people spend their whole lives looking for.. But love like that needs work. Don't run away from her and Berk. Don't make my mistakes," she said, before pulling him into a hug.

He froze for a few seconds. It felt wrong. She was taller than Astrid, and skinnier, it was weird. But then he took a breath, and something clicked.

This was his mother. His mother was hugging him. He lifted his shaking hands and hugged back, pushing his nose into her shoulder and smelling that scent that was… Home.

"Thanks, Mom," he managed to say.

Hiccup could have stayed there for hours, but suddenly there was a shout.

"Wait!" he recognized Astrid's voice as she ran into the chamber. Iron clanged against stone, a melody he recognized as a sword falling to the ground. They jumped apart, and Hiccup's hand flew to his cane instinctively.

"Stoick?" Valka whispered.

* * *

 

"Do you think I'm being stupid? He's running so hard from something, maybe I'm just making things worse," Astrid asked Stormfly, who was too busy tending to the baby dragons flying around to really pay attention to her rider. Still, talking made her feel a little better.

"It's just… we used to talk about these things. Didn't we?" she asked the air, wondering if things were really much worse than they had been. At least she wasn't breaking his nose or flinging dragon fire in his face anymore. And she doubted he was hiding a secret as big as he had then. They had come far.

Suddenly there was a growl, and Astrid looked up to see Skullcrusher fly over the edge of the crater. A very angry looking chief was riding him.

Uh oh.

"Where is Hiccup?!" Stoick shouted when he spotted her, landing next to Stormfly and making the baby dragons scatter.

"He… He is... " Astrid wasn't sure what to do. Were Valka and Stoick ready to see each other? How would the chief react to seeing his  _wife_ for the first time in eighteen years?!

"Is this where he has been running off to? Setting up some kind of… dragon shelter?! Why not on Berk? Why didn't he tell me?" Stoick cut her off, obviously annoyed.

"This is not a good time," she managed to blurt out, and the chief narrowed his eyes.

"You know what would have been a good time? Two hours ago, when Hiccup was supposed to meet me for chiefing lessons," he said slowly, voice cold. Astrid gulped.

"Now where is he? Skullcrusher, track him," Stoick said, and Astrid was frozen as the dragon quickly walked towards the cave where Hiccup had chased Valka. She ran after him when the chief walked in with big steps.

"Chief, it's not what you think! You shouldn't-" Stoick stopped briefly to glare at her.

"I wouldn't feel the need to do this if Hiccup apparently hadn't been hiding this secret life from me! I thought we…" he didn't finish the sentence and kept following Skullcrusher. Suddenly Toothless's warbles came out of a nearby room. Stoick strode right in.

"Wait!" Astrid shouted as she ran in as well, but there was nothing she could do to stop him.

A moment later Stoick's sword dropped to the ground.

"Stoick?" Valka whispered, face pale.

"I know what you're thinking. Astrid made it very clear to me already. How could I have left you alone for eighteen years? Leave Hiccup to be apparently blinded and crippled?" Valka said after a minute of silence, and Astrid felt like she shouldn't be watching this.

Stoick strode forward on unsteady legs, hands trembling as he reached out to her.

"Oh, don't be like that. Don't you have something to say? Shout, scream, say something! Astrid didn't hesitate!" Valka shouted as she backed up to the wall.

"You're as beautiful as the day I lost you," Stoick simply said, before kissing her. Astrid decided that was enough, and grabbed Hiccup's hand.

"Let's leave them alone for a bit," she said. Hiccup nodded, looking overwhelmed as he let himself be led back outside. Toothless followed, eagerly greeting Stormfly again and growling at a baby dragon holding on to her tail.

Hiccup's hand was shaking slightly as she nudged him to sit on the grassy plain overlooking the valley. The view was breathtaking, and Astrid once again felt pain in her heart that Hiccup couldn't see it.

"I'm an idiot. I'm a moron. All this time I was worried I'm nothing like my dad, and now I found out I'm my mom!" he blurted, snatching his hand back to cover his face.

"Your mom is cool. She takes care of dragons. No one here cares about missing legs or eyes. Of course you'd like her. That's okay," Astrid said, shifting a little closer to him. His hair was sticking out near his hands still covering his face.

"But I don't like her. I think. I don't know. She… She abandoned me. She didn't care. Or she did. I don't know. I don't understand. It's just…" Hiccup shook his head, making his hair bounce. She moved her hands to it, making him flinch briefly when her fingers brushed his neck before relaxing.

"You don't know how you feel yet. Of course you don't. It's not everyday you hear something like that. Remember when my parents told me about Erik? It took me a week before I could even think about it clearly. Not just that I had a brother, but that my parents never told me, that that was why my father is... Look, my point is, you don't have to have the answers right away," she said, starting to make a little braid in his hair. He sighed.

"But I do have answers. Not to this… Mom stuff, but the other things. I just didn't dare tell you. I didn't know how. So I ran off. But now I see, I shouldn't be doing that. Because… Because you're doing so freaking much for me and it's not fair and you deserve the world," Hiccup slowly said, making her chuckle as she finished one braid and started on another.

"I freaked out earlier about the wedding because my dad said that with you by my side, I could be chief. I can't be chief. Not yet. I don't know how yet. The very thought makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. But I want to marry you. I swear I do, Astrid, there's nothing I want more," he said, interrupting her braiding by pulling her tightly to him. She untangled her arms and put them around him as well.

They sat like that for a bit as Toothless and Stormfly played nearby, their warbles and the squawks of baby dragons the only sounds on the field. Eventually they pulled back.

"Do you want to elope and live over here with your crazy dragon vigilante mother?" Astrid said, elbowing him softly.

Hiccup chuckled, but then his face turned serious. "No. It… crossed my mind, to be perfectly honest. But no. As much as I hate Berk sometimes and everyone there makes me feel…. Urgh, it's my home. It's  _our_ home. We'll have our own house there in a couple of months. And I won't run away from there."

She drew a heart on his hand before making another braid, and he blushed.

"How about we go to Stoick together in a minute and tell him you're not ready to be chief yet. And that it can wait a few years until you've adjusted to married life?" Astrid slowly said, finishing up the braid and righting his blindfold before standing up. He stood up himself, and grabbed her hand.

"Together?" he asked, incredulous.

"As family," she simply answered before leading him back to the caves, just in time to hear Valka accept Stoick's offer to come back to Berk.

* * *

 

Valka felt like she was in a dream. She was in the house that had been her home. Her house for three years of marriage.

And then away for six times that long.

She was sitting in Stoick's bedroom,  _their_ bedroom. It wasn't right and it was right and it was too much. That was the bed that her Hiccup was born in, the boy she abandoned. The bed she had shared with Stoick, the man she left to raise their kid on his own.

And he couldn't stop smiling.

"I can't do this," she said, finally breaking his smile for a moment. "Not yet. Not tonight. I know I said I'd come back to Berk, and I did, but… I'm not ready to come back here yet. To you, to our marriage, our bed," she finished, shaking her head.

"That's okay! I can wait. I waited eighteen years, Val! I prayed to the gods every day, hoping against hope that my wife would come home! And now she did!" he said, looking like a little kid again. That boy that won her heart. So different, and yet the same as the man sitting on the bed with grey hair and wrinkles.

"I'm not your wife anymore!" The words bursted from her lips without warning. Eighteen years barely speaking and now the words wouldn't stop. "Don't you get it Stoick? We've changed! We're different! We've just been apart for over half my life! I'm not a Berkian! I don't even recognize Berk anymore!"

Stoick was staring at her, wide-eyed. She heard a thump from upstairs, Hiccup's room, and some old instinct told her to go check on her baby. But her baby was all grown up. All different and yet so familiar.

"Honey, I… Berk changed, yes, but it changed for the better! Isn't that what you wanted? Hiccup showed me, he's so much like you! The dragons, they… They are our friends now. Hell, our son's best friend is a dragon and I couldn't be happier!" Stoick said, gesturing out the window at the nearby feeding station, barely visible in the dark night.

"I know that. I wanted this. But it's still… different. When I saw Kirsten and Tolfdir earlier… I didn't recognize them. Kirsten used to be my best friend! And we had become strangers," Valka said, looking at her scavenged armor. So different from the armor Stoick and others wore.

Another thud from upstairs made her jump, and she stood up when she heard faint voices.

"Hiccup!" she whispered, fearing for her son. He was blind, and what if there was an assassin! Did he have enemies?

"Don't worry, it's just Astrid. Sometimes she comes over at night," Stoick whispered, grabbing her hand and pulling her back down to the chair.

"Do they… you know?" she asked, barely able to process the shift. Her baby, a man?

"No. At least I don't think so. They talk. Hiccup… I don't know if he told you anything, but he's… damaged more than physically. He gets nightmares. Sometimes during the day he suddenly leaves, Astrid follows, and I hear them… crying. Astrid knows how to help him. She is so good for him, love, so good. Better than I ever was. It wasn't easy without you, Val. Especially after… the accident, and then the battle," Stoick said, looking exhausted.

"I never should have left. I should have been here for my child!" Valka said, barely remembering to keep her voice down.

"But you're here now. You had a choice today, and you  _chose_ to come back to Berk," Stoick said softly, standing up and taking her hands.

"And now I don't know how to help him. He's blind, he's missing a leg, and now nightmares as well! I don't know anything about that! He doesn't need me anymore, he's all grown up and about to get married," she said, letting Stoick's hands fall out of hers and turning away.

"But he'll always be our little boy. That's something that'll always be true, no matter how long we are apart," Stoick said, gently turning her face so she'd look at him. Old feelings were coming back, and suddenly it didn't feel like eighteen years had passed.

"You're right. I'll… I'll be there for Hiccup. Whatever he needs. I'll figure out how to help him with his… conditions. We can start over," she slowly said, lowering her eyes before taking a deep breath.

"And Stoick… Maybe we can start over as well? Meeting each other, learning about each other, dates, courting. And then maybe one day… We'll be back where we were," she said, sneaking a glance upward, expecting to see disappointment on his face, or eagerness.

Instead he just smiled at her.

"We'll never be where we were. But we can be something new. One day," he said, letting go of her and giving her space.

She smiled as well, before standing up.

"I will sleep in the hall, with Cloudjumper. I'm not ready to sleep in a room with… people," Valka whispered as the creak from a window came from upstairs. Apparently Astrid was leaving again.

"Of course. We'll start over in the morning, okay?" Stoick simply said, reaching out a hand to her as she walked out the room, before changing his mind. "Small steps," he chuckled.

"Small steps, but we'll get somewhere eventually," Valka said, before closing the door. Cloudjumper nudged her, uncomfortable in the house.

"You want to sleep outside? It's a warm night, we can do that. I'm more comfortable in the grass as well," she said, leading her dragon outside.

Unnoticed, a pair of green eyes watched them from the shadows at the top of the stairs. The Night Fury considered going after them, he was really interested in this strange four-winged creature. But he could tell when people needed their space. Years with Hiccup taught him that. So he quietly walked back inside Hiccup's room and climbed on the bed.

"Can't sleep either, bud? Today was something, wasn't it? I wonder if your mom is out there somewhere. But you're still the best family there is," Hiccup mumbled as he shifted to allow Toothless to curl up around him.

They'd be alright. Toothless was sure of it.


	17. I Would Fight For You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the wedding coming closer and closer and Hiccup spending more time with his mother at the sanctuary, Astrid and Hiccup's relationship is under heavy stress. When an inaccurate portrait sparks their biggest fight yet, it means they're divided and separated: Perfect targets for Alvin the Treacherous, who wants to capture the Dragon Conqueror.

Astrid wasn't sure why she was paying so much attention to Stoick and Valka lately. She had never been interested in watching doting couples, especially the ones who were so sweet with each other it made her want to throw up. But Hiccup's parents were different. They rarely hugged in front of other people, and never kissed. But they still seemed to be so… connected.

Like now. Stoick was standing in the center of the Great Hall, next to Hiccup and the covered painting. Valka was standing at the front of the crowd, more than twenty yards away. But they still seemed to have some kind of link. Stoick was standing tall, looking around at the crowd, and his face just… lit up when his eyes met Valka's.

Then Astrid looked at Hiccup, whose face was hanging down again. She noticed he was doing that more and more often lately. He seemed to be forgetting his old instincts of facing who he was talking to, or looking forward when he walked. Instead he dropped his head more and more, hiding his face and blindfold from everyone. No matter how many times she told him to put his chin up, whenever he became nervous his head would drop again, like he was looking at his feet.

She suddenly felt a pang of frustration. Why couldn't Hiccup face the crowd like his father did?

Why did he never just meet her eyes and smile?

She knew they were silly thoughts, and the answers were clear. Hiccup was blind. He couldn't smile like Stoick did, because his eyes would never meet hers. And she knew that no matter how long ago those days of constant bullying and denigration were, Hiccup would still brace himself for insults and curses. All her encouragement seemed to do so little sometimes.

It was part of who he was, and she had to accept that. Hiccup would be fine, and he was spending (slightly) more time on Berk again since Valka returned. Unfortunately, his time previously spent exploring was now filled with trips to the Sanctuary to study the dragons there. And with the marriage preparations consuming more and more of her time, that left precious little opportunity for them to just hang out like they used to.

Still, they'd manage, even if she still felt a pang of envy when she saw Stoick and Valka wink at each other. Gods, she didn't want to become one of those lovesick couples making puppy-dog eyes at each other, but… sometimes she just wanted a little  _more_.

Astrid forced herself to stop thinking about Hiccup's blindness and absence, and focused on the stage. Stoick was talking about tradition, and how proud he was that he got the chance to have a painting with his son, like his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and…

Astrid's thoughts wandered again, noting how Hiccup seemed nervous, but tried to smile. She knew he was happy he could share this with his father, even if he wouldn't be able to see the painting. Finally, Hiccup and Stoick pulled the cloth from the shield, and the crowd gasped when the painting was revealed.

The first thing Astrid noticed was that the painted Hiccup had muscles. Astrid knew the real Hiccup,  _her_ Hiccup, had muscles too. The dragon riding, blacksmithing, and even the constant swinging of his cane had given him a hidden strength. But this Hiccup looked so… strong. He looked like a warrior. This Hiccup looked so different from  _her_  Hiccup, who, even after years of combat training, still couldn't swing a sword right and had to rely on sneak attacks and tricks to win.

The second thing she noticed was that this Hiccup was tall. She knew  _her_ Hiccup was tall too. He had some growth spurts over the last few years, and he was now taller than her, much to her annoyance. She didn't think he knew that, and she wasn't about to tell him. But this painted Hiccup… He stood tall. His chin was up, his back was straight, and he looked so confident, so different from the real Hiccup standing next to it, who had dropped his head again and slumped a little.

She had been trying to get him to stand straighter lately, but it didn't have much effect. Mulch walked over to Stoick and exchanged some words, and she saw Hiccup nervously walking a few steps to join their conversation.

Astrid couldn't help but notice once again that Hiccup walked oddly. He walked with a slight limp, as could be expected from someone with a prosthetic leg. But he placed his feet weirdly hesitant, always feeling the ground for obstacles when he wasn't using his cane.

And she was sure that the Hiccup in the portrait wouldn't walk like that. He'd walk with big confident strides, not afraid of anything. The painting reminded her of the Hiccup who faced the Red Death without hesitation. The Hiccup who had disappeared somewhere between then and now.

And then she noticed the most striking part of the portrait.

Hiccup's blindfold wasn't there. But there were no scars on the shield. Hiccup had eyes. Brown eyes, identical to his father's, and she remembered Hiccup didn't have brown eyes. They had been green. But… this brown-eyed Hiccup looked at her with such confidence and power. This was a boy, no, a  _man_ , who wouldn't need her help like Hiccup did. A man who wouldn't need to tap the ground for every step, who could eat and cook and smith by himself. Who didn't have a dozen things he needed her help with every time they talked. A man who could fight giants and lead armies, who would sweep her off her feet and kiss her without hesitation.

A man who wouldn't break down in dark days so often. A man she wouldn't have to comfort and hold just to keep him sane. A man who wouldn't be so scared to stand up for himself and say something when others patronized or mocked him for his blindness.

Not like  _her_  Hiccup, who was always so nervous to get too close to her, rarely daring to do more than hold her hand, waiting for her permission before touching her face or kissing her. Who tried to pretend he was confident and proud, but sometimes just couldn't handle the blindness and the pain.

And this brown-eyed Hiccup…

He was handsome.

 _Her_  Hiccup had become handsome as well. His jaw had grown sharper, and his hair grew fuller and shinier. He was far from the adorable little boy he had once been. But Astrid knew that underneath the blindfold were ugly scars. Very ugly scars. And even though she could now look at them without flinching, thanks to their weekly ritual of painting each other's faces before dragon racing, she couldn't possibly call Hiccup's face attractive.

If she was very honest, she could hardly call it a face. His eyes were simply gone. The scars had only grown uglier over time, his growing head making the tissue stretch and split. And the lack of sunlight had turned what skin remained deadly pale and flaky.

The painted Hiccup had fine skin, and nice eyes. He wouldn't remind her of her mistake every time she peeked under a blindfold.

And then, as she looked back and forth between the shield and the blind boy, a thought entered her brain and refused to leave.

She wished Hiccup could be more like that brown-eyed man on the shield.

As soon as she realized what she had just thought, she felt disgusted by herself. She likes Hiccup. She loves Hiccup. She is going to marry him! And she knew those things were true. She did love him.

But at the same time… she wished Hiccup could be a bit…  _more_. She wished Hiccup could be stronger, more forward, more confident, more handsome. Astrid remembered countless moments over the last two years where she wished Hiccup would just 'man up'. She remembered wishing he'd initiate their kisses more. She wished he had the guts to sometimes just pull her behind a building and snog her silly, without being afraid of being caught. She wished he could beat her in a fair fight. Oh, no doubt it would infuriate her that he'd be stronger than her, but… why couldn't he be strong enough to defend her from invaders or dangerous dragons?

The thoughts felt silly, and she knew she was happy with Hiccup. Wasn't she? It wasn't like she even considered leaving him, she felt closer to him than to anyone else. She didn't want someone who was just strong, like Snotlout. She wanted a strong and confident  _Hiccup_. But… did that make her unfaithful? She still liked Hiccup, she just… liked that brown-eyed Hiccup more.

* * *

 

Hiccup smiled as he listened to his father praising the painting. "That's the son of a chief!" Mulch said, and Stoick eagerly agreed. For once Hiccup didn't feel as nervous around all these people. It was hard to talk to them when he couldn't see their faces.

He wondered what the painting looked like, though. As his dad talked to more people, he ran his fingers over the shield, trying to distinguish the different colors. It was hopeless, but it made him feel closer to this object that apparently showed him and his dad. Together. As a part of history.

"Hey, Hiccup," Astrid said, and he spun around, not expecting her.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Chin up, chest forward, shoulders back!" Astrid said as she roughly moved his body around to make him stand straighter, making him blush. Did she really have to do this in front of everybody? He knew his posture was important, but it was hard to remember it all day. She grabbed his hand, and almost immediately drew a circle with her finger, their signal for "Can we go somewhere alone?".

He frowned, but signed "Yes," back, unsure what this was about. Usually she wanted to make out or fly when she asked him that, but now she felt nervous and distant. They excused themselves from the meeting and walked through the village in silence. Astrid's hand was holding his loosely, like she didn't really want to hold it, and it made him worry. Had he done something wrong during the ceremony? Was she angry?

"Ugh, chin up! Is it that hard? You look like a scared bunny!" she suddenly exclaimed, using her spare hand to push his head back up.

It immediately fell down again when she withdrew her hand. Astrid sighed deeply, and Hiccup could feel her disappointment, heard her kick a small stone in anger.

"Sorry I can't control every single body part at the same time," he said sarcastically as he tried to adjust his posture, but it was hard to keep track of his head and chest when walking took so much concentration already. He had to swing his cane, pay attention to the touch and sound he got from it, move his prosthetic just right, and make sure he kept walking in a straight line.

"It's… Never mind. Just… Can't you try a little harder? You look so…" Astrid didn't finish the sentence, but he knew what she wanted to say. Weak. Soft. Scared. No one said it out loud, but Hiccup was sure they were all thinking it.

They reached the outskirts of the village, and Hiccup was sure they had to be alone by now.

"So what did you want to talk about?" he asked, figuring this was not the time for a make-out session.

"It's the shield. It's… It doesn't look like you," she said, and he must have looked very confused, because she immediately continued.

"You… the painted Hiccup, he looks… buff. And strong. And tall. And… and he has eyes and no scars, and he… he's different from you. Less…" Astrid's voice trailed off again, and he felt a flare of anger. So everyone was praising the shield because it didn't look like him? Because they'd rather have a strong, sighted heir?!

He took his hand from her grasp and balled his fist, angry yet without a target to unleash that anger on.

"So… they like it more than me? They want me to be more like that? How do they expect me to do that? Regrow eyes?!" he said angrily, hating himself when he sensed Astrid flinch.

"Hiccup, I don't like it either. I think it was very rude of them to paint it like that. But there are things you can do to… be more like that. Stand taller. Be more confident!" she said as she grabbed at his hand, but he wrenched it back, suddenly furious at her.

"Do you think it's that easy? Just magically become some arrogant jerk like Snotlout? Become some great warrior even though I can hardly defeat a squirrel?! What do you expect from me, Astrid?!" he asked angrily, relishing in making her a target for his frustration.

"I expect you to do something about it! To take care of your posture, to tell those villagers that this painting is not acceptable! To stand up for yourself! I expect you to march back to the village and demand a better portrait! Because you're the heir, you're a hero, and you deserve a painting that's more  _you_!" she said loudly. Some part of Hiccup's mind noticed that this was quickly getting out of hand, but he felt so frustrated he didn't listen.

"A painting that's more me? So, you want it to slump and be small and scared and terrible looking like you constantly tell me I am? You expect me to just… to tell my dad and Bucket and Spitelout and the Council that I'm not happy with it?! I can't do that!" he shouted, nervousness and anger fighting in his head.

"Yes you can! You faced a freaking monster dragon alone, why is this so much harder for you?! Why can't you stand up for yourself? How do you think this makes you look? Makes me look? Makes  _us_ look? I can't keep fixing all your problems! You have to stand up and fight to get respect and honor!" Astrid shouted as she stepped away from him.

"Easy for you to say, you're strong and respected and you can freaking see! And I'm sorry you have to be seen with weak little terrible me!" he said sarcastically, and Astrid produced a shocked laugh.

"You know what, Hiccup? You're right. I don't like being seen with you when you're like that. You know what I thought when I saw that painting of you, confident and strong and tall? I thought that was you when you faced the Red Death. And I thought that was who you could be again if you'd only put some effort in. If you wouldn't wallow in self-pity and sadness and just stood up for yourself and not let everybody walk over you. I'm trying here! I'm the one who keeps reminding you of everything you have to do! It's all coming from me! Why am I the only one who is actually working on this relationship?!" she shouted, and it hurt. Hiccup flinched back. It felt like she had just slapped him.

"Well then, why don't you marry that painting if you like it so much? I'm me, and I can't just change like that! I'm not strong like you, and I never will be," he said, and she growled.

"Fine, maybe I will. You… Figure it out on your own for once, Hiccup. If you can't even stand up to me, then you can't stand up to the village. Don't bother finding me until you grow some balls and are actually willing to work for us and act like a future chief!" she shouted, and it was followed by the sound of her footsteps running away into the forest. His first instinct was to run after her, but he didn't dare. So he remained frozen as she disappeared. At first he wanted to shout something after her, but he couldn't think of a retort. He couldn't think of any way to defend himself.

She was right. He was a coward. He didn't dare to cross her, cross anyone. His chin dropped back to his chest, and he felt his shoulders drop.

 _Chin up. Chest forward. Shoulders back._ He could hear Astrid's voice in his head, remembering the countless times she had repeated those words. She'd be disappointed if she saw him now. No, she was already disappointed. She just told him.

He stood there for a while, unsure of what to do. He hadn't known she felt that way. Not that strongly, anyway. And… she had a point, even if it hurt to hear it. He was going to be chief. He would have to deal with people. He had to be assertive. To be strong. But he didn't know how to do that.

But… maybe he could take small steps. So he moved his chin up, so his head faced the world. He forced his chest forward and his shoulders back, straightening his spine. It made him feel a little stronger. And so he walked back towards his house. He needed to talk to his dad. Maybe Stoick knew what to do. His father was strong, maybe he could explain how to do it.

But in the meantime, he'd rely on Astrid's words.

"Chin up, chest forward, shoulders back. Chin up, chest forward, shoulders back," he whispered to himself as he walked, determined to not let himself forget again.

* * *

 

Astrid growled as she swung her axe at her sparring partner. Ruffnut only barely managed to block with her short sword, staggering backward.

"Wow, who peed in your yak broth?" the other girl asked, stabbing with her spear from a distance while adjusting her sword in her left hand.

"It's nothing, Ruff," Astrid said, raising her shield to block. A loud clang echoed through the forest clearing as iron struck Gronkle iron. If Stormfly were here she'd be alarmed, jumping in to protect her rider. But today the dragon had wanted to hang out with Toothless and Cloudjumper, so they were alone.

"That kind of swing? It would have lobbed my head off. That's not nothing. That's Hiccup trouble," Ruffnut said smugly, not letting up in her attacks, now using both her sword and spear in a barrage of hits on Astrid's shield.

"How did you- Ugh, it doesn't matter. It's just… he's being all stupid and… annoying," Astrid admitted, not liking how she couldn't lie while focusing on the fight, suddenly sidestepping and making Ruffnut lose her balance.

"What did he do now? Is this about that portrait? Did he get all angsty about it?" Ruff asked after ducking under her axe swing and backing up to a safe distance

"No, it was… I got angry about it. I said he should demand a portrait that's more  _him_!" she said, charging when she reached the last word. Her axe was raised over her head as her shield protected her chest.

She tried not to think about how Hiccup had forged that shield. It was a true masterpiece, and a symbol of how he wanted to protect her. But that was nearly two years ago.

He had changed in the meantime.

"What, so with massive scars? Him all hunched over and tapping the ground with his cane?" Ruff said, dodging her initial charge but sliding in some mud in the process. Astrid decided to get payback for that insult by sticking her leg out, making Ruffnut trip and fall.

"You're dead," Astrid said as she held her axe inches from Ruffnut's neck. "And no! You know what I meant about it being more him. But he got all nervous and stuff. Asked me if I could do it for him. He's gonna be chief, he should do it himself," Astrid slowly said, sighing deeply as she caught her breath.

"I don't think this is about the portrait. You two are inseparable normally. Honestly you often make me want to vomit because you're so freaking sweet. It takes more than a stupid portrait to cause this kind of argument," Ruff said as she got back to her feet, sniggering at the end. Her shirt was covered in grass stains.

"We're not sweet! Gods, we're not making out all the time like Svana and Ragnar! Or making googly-eyes at each other like Valka and Stoick!" Astrid shouted, not wanting to point out why they couldn't make googly-eyes.

"Oh, boar shit. Sure, you don't make out in public, but you might as well be! You two… You just freaking light up every time you touch or hold hands! And although he can't see you, he's always searching for you, you know? Have you not noticed how Hiccup always starts smiling when he hears your voice? Hell, I think he can recognize your footsteps given how dorky he becomes when you're nearby!" Ruff said, more fire in her words than Astrid expected.

Astrid wanted to fight back, to defend her reputation, but that wasn't what came out of her mouth.

"Really? He does that?" she asked, voice squeaking embarrassingly.

"Oh yes, like at the academy yesterday. He's all serious, talking about dragons, and then you walk in and he turns into a stuttering wreck. A  _glowing_ wreck, though. Gods, you two need to get married already and bang that glow out, because you are  _disgusting_!" Ruffnut said, and Astrid blushed with embarrassment. But beneath the burning shame there was surprise.

"Shut up," she muttered, before lifting her axe and inspecting the edge to see if it was still sharp. "But is he really doing better when I'm not around?" she asked.

"He's not a baby who needs you to hold his hand, you know. Look, I know you two are all mushy and want to _protect each other_ ," Ruffnut said, spitting out the last words like just saying them made her sick. "But he can handle himself. He's doing way better with the blackboard, he can draw on it without making a huge mess of it. Well, at least when me and Tuff don't distract him," she sniggered.

"And he's doing so much more. Yesterday Fishlegs told me all about how he writes his own letters to Bog Island now. On actual paper! Sure, Fishlegs still had to read them, make sure it's legible, but it's better than that copper he used before. No one could read that!" Ruffnut continued, rolling her eyes at the last part.

"...I could read it," Astrid said softly as she gently laid her shield down and chose a tree to practice axe throwing with.

"Yeah, and you were the only one. Maybe he wants to be able to communicate with literally anyone else without needing you as a translator. I mean, Fish said there was some pretty personal stuff in that letter to the Bog princess. Nothing you have to worry about, but still things that he wants to keep to himself, you know?" Ruffnut said bluntly, wiping sweat off her brow, and Astrid's face fell.

"But we tell each other everything. He doesn't have to keep things a secret from me," she said, sighing. Astrid wanted to throw her axe hard, but she felt so tired. What was the point? The anger was gone. Replaced by confusion.

"Does that mean you want to know everything? All the gross stuff he does? Guys are nasty, you know! Like, I don't even want to think about what Fish, Tuff, and Snotlout are doing on their trip right now!" Ruffnut laughed, and Astrid chuckled as well.

Suddenly there was a sound in the bushes, but when Astrid whipped around to see Ruffnut's Terror, Head, fly into the air near Ruffnut's bag. The girl really didn't understand why the twins liked to carry their Terrors in their bags. She turned back to Ruff when the girl started talking again.

"Look, I don't get how Hiccup thinks. I only have experience with my bro and with Snotlout, and they're not exactly the brightest. But my point is, of course you're not gonna see him improve and become independent, because that's something he's doing away from you! That's the whole point, girl!" the twin shouted, and Astrid nearly dropped her axe.

She had never thought of it like that. Of course he wasn't going to use the different, harder techniques he learned to communicate with the outside world with her, because they had their own system, their own secret codes. Of course when Hiccup talked to her he asks for help with things, but there must be hundreds of things he's already doing on his own.

When had she stopped paying attention to him? She had been so busy being angry about his lack of attention to her, she didn't see how much he got done when they weren't together.

"I… Maybe you're right. Maybe these damn wedding preparations are driving us crazy. It's been so long since we just hung out," Astrid said softly, lowering her weapon. She felt stupid.

"Of course I'm right. You might have been with Hiccup for years, but you're so glued stuck to him you can't see the bigger picture. And relax, girl. You two have such a strong relationship, a little fight like this ain't gonna break anything. Me and Snot, we're taking it easy! Sure, we do some  _exploration_ , if you know what I mean, but we don't go declaring ultimate love and together forever. Makes it simpler, but also more confusing," the twin said, dropping her weapons before walking to her bag.

"How is that going? Snotlout seems more relaxed lately. He hasn't been bothering me as much," Astrid said, mind still reeling from the revelations but eager to go to a new topic.

"He's… good. I think that punishment on Bog Island got through to him. At least a little bit. And he's honestly quite nice in private. He knows I can beat his ass anytime, so he doesn't bother trying to impress me," Ruffnut laughed as she searched her bag.

"Oh damn, I ran out of water. I'm just gonna go down to the stream and fill the my skin up. Want me to refill yours as well? Come here, Head" she said, squeezing her empty water skin as her Terror landed on her shoulder. Astrid nodded, smiling as she dug in her own bag.

"Thanks. And when you get back, you should tell me all about your  _exploration_!" Astrid laughed, lifting her axe again to throw it into a nearby tree.

"Will do. Though are you sure you really want to know how big Snotlout's-" Ruff started, but Astrid pushed her water skin into her hands.

"Just go! And no, not that much detail!" she laughed, feeling a lot lighter. Girl time was good. As much as she liked Hiccup, there were things she couldn't talk to him about. Cami was usually better to talk to, but she wasn't here. And Ruffnut could be a lot nicer than she appeared.

* * *

 

Alvin chuckled as he peeked over the ridge at the two girls sparring in the clearing below.

"Now that's a dragon conqueror. I knew it!" he said, ducking his head when the spear-wielding one lunged, making the axe-fighter face his position.

Savage frowned. "I thought the dragon conqueror is that boy! The heir! That's what all the merchants said. And those Bog sailors we captured," he said, and Alvin groaned.

"That's just the stories. What Berk wants everyone to think. We just saw that boy, there's no way a scrawny blind kid like him slayed a Terrible Terror, let alone the Red Death! No, they just want their heir to seem more fearsome. That's why he's engaged to the  _real_ conqueror. That girl over there," he said, pointing in the direction of the clearing. The girls were too focused on each other to notice them.

"What, that slender girl with the long face? I saw her nearly blow herself up with zippleback gas earlier!" Savage said, quickly peeking over the rock he was hiding behind. Alvin shushed him, thankful that at least the other men were quiet.

"No, the other one! The one with the big axe! Look at that technique, she's a master. That's why we have to do this carefully, don't underestimate her. The boy I could easily take by myself with no weapons, but this girl... She's strong. Strong enough to control even Night Furies!" Alvin said, using the flat side of his sword as a mirror to look over the rock. The girls seemed to have finished their match, and were now talking.

"I don't know, that dragon seemed to follow the boy around! Are we sure he's not the one who-" Savage started, but Alvin's patience had reached its limits.

"Obviously the girl assigned him the beast to protect him. He can barely walk on his own, he needs a bodyguard. Too bad she didn't think of herself," he said, trying to keep his voice down. He couldn't hear the girls' voices, so they shouldn't be able to hear him either. Savage ducked his head, looking sheepish.

"Alright then. How do you want to do this?"

"Finally, some cooperation. We get closer, find a way to distract the other one. Then we strike," Alvin said, seeing the second girl take a big gulp of water from her skin before taking a fighting stance again.

The others nodded, and thankfully followed silently as he moved through the bushes, careful not to make too much noise. The girls were talking as they dueled, something about boys. Alvin wasn't listening very hard, focusing more on the ground.

The bushes rustled as they crawled, but their prey didn't notice, too focused on their fight. Alvin finally reached the edge of the clearing, right next to the second girl's pack where she had put her water skin. If he could empty it, she'd probably leave to refill it. Alvin hoped she'd go alone, but if the dragon conqueror went with her they could ambush them on the way to the stream.

The girls finished up their fight, and Alvin heard snippets of their conversation. Not enough to get a clear picture, but it seemed their target was having trouble with her boyfriend, who was indeed 'too weak'. Just as he suspected.

He waited for a bit, glad his henchmen were silent in the forest behind him, when suddenly the conqueror walked away from his position, and the other girl followed. Perfect. Alvin crawled out and grabbed the water skin, quickly emptying it under the bush. Holding his breath, he pushed it back deep into the bag, when something in it bit his hand.

He jerked back, sheer surprise preventing him from crying out, and as he stumbled back a small Terror came with him, holding on to his finger with its teeth.

Alvin shook his hand violently until the Terror let go, but the bush cracked. He froze, ignoring the pain in his bleeding hand. Praying to all the gods he knew, he watched through the bush leafs without breathing as the conqueror (Astrid?) stared at his position. He was fairly sure she couldn't see him, and when the damn Terror flew up, the girl shrugged. Alvin let out a silent sigh of relief, before crawling back a bit further while holding his wounded hand to his chest.

"Chief, are you okay?" Savage whispered, and Alvin nodded, inspecting the wound. Not too bad, just bled badly. Would be fine.

"I'm fine. Now stay down and get ready to attack," he whispered, grabbing a piece of cloth from his pocket to wrap around the finger, before turning back to look at the clearing.

As suspected, the slender girl was grabbing her water skin, frowning when she found it empty. The two girls talked for a moment, Astrid pushing her own water skin into the other's hands with a laugh.

"It's working!" Savage whispered excitedly as the sweaty slender girl walked off. Astrid turned away from them, throwing her axe at a tree. Alvin observed for a minute. The girl would throw her axe, analyze how she did, before walking over to pull it out of the tree with a grunt. Then she'd run back to her old position, turn away from Alvin, and throw again.

Perfect.

With hand gestures he directed the two henchmen to Astrid's left and right, and gave his crossbow to Savage. Then he pulled his dagger from its protective sheath on his belt. There was a good reason it was normally in a watertight sheath: the blade was coated with a powerful tranquilizer. Normally he used it to subdue dragons, but surely it would take out a dragon conqueror as well.

Alvin moved forward silently until he was at the edge of the clearing and waited for his target to throw her axe again. As soon as the weapon left her hand he charged, abandoning stealth. Barely a moment later his men did the same.

Astrid swung around, eyes widening as she froze for a moment before springing to action. The black-haired henchmen on her left reached her first. The man cursed when she elbowed him in the gut. Stunned, the man didn't block when she kicked him between the legs, making him fall over.

The girl wasted no time, reaching down to her boot and pulling out a large dagger. Before she could use it on the distracted goon, Alvin's other man swung at her, and she was forced to block, pushing the man back with surprising strength. While he stumbled, she grabbed his right arm and twisted it.

A sickening crunching sound echoed through the clearing, followed by a muffled scream.

Alvin expected her to keep up the attack on his men, so he was surprised when she used the momentary reprieve to run towards  _him_ , trying to grab the shield lying on the ground between them.

"Oh no, you don't, dragon conqueror," Alvin said, seeing her face fall into an expression of confusion just a moment before his thrown knife hit her left arm right below her shoulderpad. The attack made her stumble, but she managed to lift her shield for a moment as Savage ran up beside Alvin, aiming the crossbow at her.

"Wh-What?" was all the girl managed to say before collapsing, her head falling on top of her shield with a painful thud.

Alvin only now noticed his heavy breathing, feeling like he had just run a mile. The cloth had fallen off his fingers, and blood was dripping on the grass. But he couldn't rest now.

"She broke my arm! That bitch broke my arm!" the wounded henchman groaned. Alvin shushed him.

"Come on, we gotta get out of here before the other girl comes back. We better hope she didn't hear that scream. You two-" he pointed at the henchmen. "Grab the girl, and her pack. We'll fix that arm on the ship. Savage, grab her weapons. Make it look like she left on her own. We want to be all the way back at Outcast Island before they realize she's missing," he commanded, before moving to grab his knife.

It had all gone perfectly. With the dragon conqueror training his captured dragons, he'd soon have an invincible army.

"See you soon, Stoick. Too bad you don't have a son who is an actual fighter," he said as they ran away through the forest back to their hidden boat.

To Be Continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This arc will be two chapters, so you'll see how this ends very soon!


	18. ...If You Would Fight For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Astrid in a painful situation, she has to figure out a way to get back to Berk, while Hiccup wonders if he can truly be the hero Astrid said he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a bit since the previous update, but now I finally returned to give you the thrilling conclusion of last time's cliffhanger! I hope you enjoy it! Next chapter will be the long-awaited wedding!

"Got the water! Now let me tell you all about Snotlout!" Ruffnut shouted as she ran back into the clearing. Her giddy mood disappeared however, when she saw it was empty.

"Astrid? Are you there?" she asked loudly, looking around. No trace of her. Her weapons and shield were gone, and so was her pack. Very odd. As uptight and lonesome Astrid could be, just vanishing like that was not like her.

Walking around the edge of the clearing, Ruffnut noticed one of the trees had a few gashes in it, like Astrid had been using it to practice axe throwing. So she had stayed for at least a bit after Ruffnut left. She turned around again when something in the grass caught her eye.

There were a few red dots, leading to the bushes near her bag. A quick rub confirmed it was blood, and Ruffnut frowned. Odd. Had Astrid cut herself while throwing and run back to Berk? Why would she take all her things then? And run in that direction? It was away from Berk, towards the rocky beaches.

Maybe she was overthinking this. Astrid had been crazy about the dumb Hiccup fight. She probably had some weird love revelation while training, and couldn't wait to tell her boyfriend all about it. Probably while kissing him silly and holding his hand and sitting in his lap and being all sweet and cute and ugh!

Ruffnut was not in the mood to see that. Especially after Astrid had apparently just abandoned her. Sure, they had never been close as such, but they were the only two girls of their age, so they had often overlooked each others flaws to allow them to talk about things the boys wouldn't understand.

And for that bond to be thrown out like garbage because of a boy? Ruffnut wasn't happy. Dammit, she had let Astrid rant and complain and rant some more about Hiccup for hours, and the moment she got to talk about Snotlout, the freaking girl runs off!

Ruffnut kicked the gashed tree and suppressed the urge to scream at the betrayal, before picking up her things. Well, if Astrid was off snogging Hiccup and having a wonderful time, she'd get a nice bath in the hot springs.

* * *

 

When Astrid woke up, her first thought was that she must be in Helheim, the realm of sickness and dishonorable death.

Actually, that was her second thought. Her first thought was "Everything hurts and feels like death," leading to the second thought.

She felt like Jörmungandr himself had swallowed her and spit her out, giving her a nice dose of venom in the meantime. It was worse than that time she had eel pox. Even worse than the morning after her birthday, when she had drunk so much she passed out. Her head was pounding, her limbs felt like they were pressed to the ground, that was how heavy they were, and her stomach churned wildly, burning and pulsating. Her ears hurt, and her balance felt off. The room seemed to rock and rotate around her, though when she opened her eyes it was still. Her left arm was completely numb.

Astrid took a breath, and immediately coughed from the dust entering her mouth. She was lying on her stomach on a very dirty wooden floor. How had she gotten here? Her thoughts were muddy and slow. It was like she was sleepy, but she wasn't.

When the room moved again she realized this wasn't just her head spinning. The wood creaked, and she recognized that sound from somewhere, though her thoughts were too slow to figure it out.

As she breathed in more of the dusty air, she suddenly smelled human waste, coming from somewhere nearby. That, combined with another sudden shift of the floor and the churning of her stomach, pushed her over the edge.

Astrid only barely had the strength to pull herself up to her hands and knees before vomiting. The contents of her stomach splattered over the wooden planks, staining her hands when the room moved again. She groaned, tears springing to her eyes. She didn't even have the strength to wipe them off. Instead, her vision became blurry. When she finally spat out the last of the vile puke, her numb arm gave out. She fell to her side, only barely avoiding the puddle.

A wave of exhaustion swept over her. She wanted to sleep again, but she couldn't. This wasn't right. She wasn't just sick, she was… somewhere. Somewhere wrong. She had to figure it out.

Gathering her strength, she looked up, away from the stained floor to look at the walls. More plain wood, though when she turned her head to the left she saw iron bars. Was she in a prison? A moving prison?

She looked down again, and noticed an odd thing. The pool of vomit kept sliding closer to her, then back away again, and the realization came slowly.

The room was rocking back and forth. A ship. She was on a ship. But whose ship? Why? When? Astrid tried desperately to remember what had happened. She remembered… a portrait? Something with Hiccup. And Ruffnut?

"Look at this. The great Dragon Conqueror, laid low by my hand!" a man shouted. Astrid whipped her head up before grunting in pain from the sudden motion.

"W-W-What?" was all she managed to say, squinting her eyes to try and focus on the large figure on the other side of the bars.

"Strong stuff, isn't it? It's from the far south, extracted from a rare dragon. Just a drop is enough to knock out a Monstrous Nightmare for an hour. You… Well, let's just say you got more than a single drop," the man said, taking out a dagger and holding it through the bars to let her take a look. She lunged, cursing when she found her left arm still numb and collapsing under her weight. Her right hand grazed the handle of the weapon, but the strange man quickly withdrew it. It clanged loudly against the iron bars, a few drops of the blue poison falling on the floor.

"Feisty, aren't ya? But yeah, I don't think you're gonna use that arm for a couple hours… or days maybe. I'm not sure, never used it on humans before," the bastard chuckled, pointing at her arm. She looked down at it for the first time since waking up, involuntarily gasping when she saw her vest stained with blood. There was a large cut right below her armpit. Bile boiled in her stomach again when she saw it was swollen and purple.

It was finally coming back to her. Talking to Ruffnut, training on her own, and then suddenly this man had appeared. He had thrown that knife. She remembered pain and burning in her arm… and then nothing.

"Who are you?" she managed to ask after a few seconds.

"I'm Alvin the Treacherous! I'm sure Stoick told you all about me!" the man said, sheathing his dagger and straightening his back. Astrid moved to sit up against the wall.

Her blank stare clearly wasn't what he had been hoping for.

"I'm his mortal enemy? True heir to Berk and the entire archipelago? Exiled from Berk for countless crimes?" Alvin said, his voice becoming more and more desperate when she just shook her head. Honestly she mostly shook to get rid of the dizziness, but if she could piss off this bastard, bonus.

"I have no idea," she said slowly, feeling exhausted. Astrid was not in the mood to entertain delusional morons.

"Stoick never talked about me?" he said, eyes wide. When she shook her head, he scoffed. "Well, I'm his rival he exiled for trying to take over Berk. That was twenty years ago, but I haven't forgotten. And now you, the Dragon Conqueror, will help me get my revenge. I have captured quite the collection of dragons, and you will train them for me," Alvin chuckled, and Astrid shook her head again.

"But… But I'm not the Dragon Conqueror, Hic-" she said before stopping herself abruptly. She couldn't put Hiccup in danger. If this Alvin wanted a Dragon Conqueror, she wouldn't let him take her love.

"Hiccup? Stoick's pathetic blind kid? I know you're all lying about him being this great hero. I saw him today. He couldn't conquer a rabbit. No, it's all a desperate attempt from Stoick to give his son legitimacy as ruler. He's still afraid I'm coming to usurp his throne. And he's right. Berk deserves better than that weakling-" Alvin laughed before jumping back with a yelp when Astrid lunged at him, almost grabbing his beard through the bars.

"Ooh, touched a nerve there? Of course, when I take over Berk, you won't become the power behind the throne like you'd hoped. But at least you won't have to whore yourself out to that… hehe, hiccup anymore," taking another step back when Astrid threw herself at the bars with a scream. She was not gonna let anyone talk about Hiccup like that. No matter how sick or tired she was, she'd never stop fighting.

"Aww, don't tell me you actually care for the boy. We'll get rid of that soon enough. You won't have time or energy for pining on Outcast Island. Because I promise you, you will never see your precious Hiccup ever again," Alvin said, brandishing his dagger once more before turning around and leaving. "You, stand guard. Don't let her leave that cell," he said as he climbed the stairs, and a man with a wild dark beard descended to stand in front of her cell.

Astrid growled and pushed at the bars for another minute, but when the guard just chuckled, she gave up and sat back against the wall again. Why was this happening? She couldn't believe it. Just this morning everything was fine. And then she and Hiccup fought over something so stupid, and now she was…

Oh no. Oh gods no. Please no!

What if Alvin was right? What if she could never talk to Hiccup again? Their last words,  _her_ last words… insults and curses. She couldn't let that be how Hiccup remembers her. He had to know she hadn't meant it. Any of it. She just wanted him to be strong. To be the man she knew he was.

She had just been so hasty. Why hadn't she given him more time? He was improving, so so much. It wouldn't be like their lives would stop and become static the moment they'd get married. It would only be the start. The start of a new journey, a new story.

If they could even get married now.

Astrid shuddered, covering her face with her hands, and she could feel tears appear.

No. She was not going to sit here and cry and do nothing. She was going to fight and get back to Berk, get back to her Hiccup. They would get married and live in their own house and have children and do all the things that just yesterday had seemed terrifying, but that Astrid suddenly realized she wanted more than anything in the world.

She was going to fight for them, dammit. It didn't matter anymore if Hiccup could fight off enemies, she'd fight for both of them. For their life together.

She moved to stand, but her arm buckled when she tried to push herself up. Damn paralysis. Damn exhaustion. Damn sickness. But it would pass. She'd bide her time. She would rest for a few hours at least, observe the guard and figure out a plan to escape.

They wanted a conqueror? They'd get a conqueror.

* * *

"Chin up, chest forward, shoulders back," Hiccup was still softly chanting to himself when he reached his home. It had taken him a while to get back to a place he recognized, and from there to his house. Toothless warbled loudly when he saw him, interrupting his games with Stormfly and Cloudjumper to run over.

The dragon warbled sadly, clearly seeing Hiccup was upset. It made the boy smile, despite what had just happened. Toothless warbled something that sounded like "Astrid?" and Hiccup shook his head.

"She's not coming over today, bud. I screwed up, I think. I don't know, it's all so confusing," he said, before letting go of his dragon's head and walking to the front door.

"Mom? Dad?" he called into the house to no answer. They must still be at the Great Hall. Hiccup was hoping to ask them for advice, but right now he didn't feel like going out into public again. So he sat at the table as the dragons moved into the house, Stormfly squawking repeatedly.

"Astrid is fine, Stormfly. She just… wanted to be away from me for a bit," he said, before grabbing the nearby pile of blank paper and starting a letter to Camicazi. Maybe she'd know what to do. He put a thin wooden grid over the paper, and wrote one letter through each rectangular hole in the grid. It was a new method he was experimenting with, to write without overlapping letters accidentally. Still, it went very slowly as he carefully drew each rune, making sure he didn't mess it up.

Just as he was finishing up the letter explaining his situation to Cami, the door opened. Hiccup recognized his parents' footprints, light and happy today. Cloudjumper ran outside, but Stormfly and Toothless didn't move from their spot near the firepit.

"Hey son! Astrid isn't here? I saw you two leave together, I figured I wouldn't see you anymore today!" Stoick said, obviously cheerful. ' _Happy with the perfect painting_ ', Hiccup couldn't help but think.

"No, we… we had a fight," he said, signing his name at the bottom of the letter in what was surely an unintelligible scrawl. He'd send it when Fishlegs came back from his trip.

"Oh, what about? Let me guess, she wanted the painting for herself! It's amazing, I wish you could see it!" Stoick said, and Hiccup sighed. He wanted to take a stand, to demand a better portrait like Astrid expected him to. But without her with him, with the dark cloud of their argument still hanging over him, he couldn't muster the courage to do it.

"No, she… it's complicated. She wants me to be more… yeah, more," he eventually said, sealing the letter.

"Well, I think if you want to be more, you'll need the energy! Let's go to the Great Hall and get dinner! Kirsten is making a huge meal to celebrate the painting. I think she's trying to do a trial run for your wedding as well, though," Valka laughed as she grabbed Hiccup's shoulder, trying to pull him up from the chair. He flinched. Didn't they get that he didn't want food or cheer?

When his mother came back, Hiccup hadn't expected it to change everything so much. Now it seemed that they were just happy all the time, and had no eyes for anything else.

Not even their son, he thought bitterly. Hiccup wanted to be happy for them. Hell,  _he_  was happy his mother was back. But it was still confusing.

"Fine," he said through gritted teeth, more frustrated than ever.

They walked silently to the Great Hall. Well, Hiccup was silent at least, following his parents who were talking and giggling animatedly. Normally they weren't so bad. Or maybe normally he just noticed it less because he'd be focused on Astrid walking next to him. "Chin up, chest forward, shoulders back," Hiccup kept muttering to himself.

Behind him the dragons were following slowly, playing and chasing each other all the way. Toothless had eagerly welcomed Cloudjumper into their home, and Stormfly was always happy to meet new friends.

Finally, after a slow climb up the stairs they entered the Hall again, where they were greeted by Astrid's parents.

"Hey there, Stoick, didn't you just leave? Back already for more food? Ah, you brought Hiccup, he can always use another bite, right?" Kirsten said as she guided them to a table. "Oh, where is Astrid?" she asked Hiccup as she grabbed his shoulder to sit him down, and he nearly lashed out. Instead he took a deep breath.

"I don't know. She went into the woods a few hours ago," he said, grabbing his cup of mead and taking a deep gulp.

"Ah, avoiding me, I suppose. Maybe I've been a little harsh on her lately. But there's just so much I still have to teach her! That girl can wield any weapon in the world, but give her a sewing needle and she is defeated!" Kirsten laughed, and Valka laughed with her.

"I did the same before I married Stoick! I just couldn't figure out how to use them! I pricked myself so often my mother said I should just sell everything I made as red cloth from all the blood!" Hiccup's mother shouted, and Stoick laughed as well.

Hiccup tuned out the banter, his thoughts wandering back to the fight. Toothless crooned, nudging him, but he pushed the dragon away.

"Jeez, you people are still partying? Not that I don't like a party, but I hoped that with my bro and the other boys away, I could get some peace and quiet!" Ruffnut shouted, pulling Hiccup from his thoughts.

"Hey, where is Astrid? How come she isn't all over your face?" the twin asked, stopping right next to Hiccup.

"I don't know, okay?! Why does everyone think she should be with me every second of the day!" he shouted, cringing when the hall fell silent.

"Jeez, you don't have to be so insulted. Just admit you two are inseparable normally. Hell, even this dumb portrait couldn't keep you apart. Astrid ran off a while ago to meet you and make up!" Ruffnut said, sitting down next to him and stealing his mead.

Hiccup frowned, anger flowing away, replaced by confusion.

"Wait, what? I haven't seen her since this morning! We had a fight and she ran off," he said, sensing Ruffnut shrug.

"I know that! She was ranting about it to me, we were training together. I told her she shouldn't take it all so seriously, and she calmed down a bit. But then I left her for a minute to refill my water skin, and when I came back she was gone. I figured she had run off to you to make up," Ruffnut said, taking another sip of mead.

"No… she didn't go to me. Were there any other weird things?" Hiccup asked, his stomach becoming heavy.

Depends on what you'd call weird. I thought it was weird she left without saying anything. All her weapons were gone as well. Oh, and there was some blood on the grass. I figured she had cut herself throwing axes," Ruff said. Stormfly lied down next to him, squawking sadly, and Hiccup wondered if she was feeling the same dread. He didn't like this at all.

"So she disappeared a few hours ago, left bloodstains, and now no one knows where she is?" Hiccup said, voice rising.

"Son, I'm sure it's fine. She probably wanted to be alone for a bit," Stoick said, finally taking his attention off Valka for a second.

"I don't like it. I don't trust it! Something is wrong, I can feel it! What if she's badly hurt?!" he shouted, standing up and grabbing his cane.

"Okay, we can send out a search party into the forest. If she's there, we'll find her," Stoick said, standing up too.

"I'll lead the men. If anyone can survive in there it's my girl, but if she hasn't come back… She probably just broke her ankle, something like that. She's tough," Tolfdir said, standing up and grabbing his sword. It made a grating sound as he put it in its scabbard, and then his footsteps were running out the door and down the steps.

"See Hiccup, Tolfdir will find her in no time," Stoick said, but Hiccup wasn't reassured. He walked away, shaking his head. The adults started whispering among themselves, and Toothless warbled next to him.

Suddenly Hiccup's cane hit something metal, and he realized he was next to the painted shield. The portrait that had caused the fight.

The shield that portrayed a Hiccup as different from him as could be.

Stormfly made a loud croon as he ran his hand over it and wondered what it looked like. Strong and tall and with eyes, Astrid had said, but it was hard to imagine.

"Hiccup... Look, if Astrid is in some kind of trouble, she or Tolfdir or Stoick can surely fix it! You're not… Just don't worry, she'll be back in no time!" Valka suddenly said from next him, and he jumped a bit. He frowned, feeling like she was patronizing, though he knew she just wanted to reassure him.

But it still felt like she was saying he was too weak to help her. Not able to save her. He ran his hand over the portrait again.

The portrait of a Hiccup Astrid said he had been once.

A Hiccup she might need.

A Hiccup… he could be again?

"No. No, I'm gonna find her! I'll fly on Toothless… Stormfly can track her! Come on, Stormfly!" he shouted, the Nadder jumping up towards him.

"Hiccup, at least wait until the other riders are back from their trip! I don't think… You shouldn't be out there alone-!" Stoick said, and Hiccup whipped around, raising his cane to point to where he thought his father was. It wasn't until his dad suddenly shut up that he realized he was standing tall and straight without even having to think about it.

"Astrid shouldn't be out there alone either, but she is! And the riders won't be back for another two days! Who knows what could happen to her in that time," he said, climbing on Toothless' saddle and fitting his prosthetic into the pedal.

For a few seconds Hiccup was sure his dad would protest again, but all he said was "You're right, son. Find her."

The boy didn't waste any time. Stormfly was already out the door, flying towards the forest, and Toothless was right behind.

Astrid was strong, so much stronger than him. But together they could do anything. Hiccup was sure of it. No matter what had happened to her, he'd find her and they'd find a way back home together.

Who cared what the stupid portrait showed? What was important was what Astrid saw in him, and for some crazy reason Hiccup couldn't comprehend she saw something to believe in.

And he believed in Astrid. That was all the motivation he needed.

* * *

Astrid groaned as feeling returned to her left arm, in the form of massive tingling. She wasn't sure if this was better than the numbness of before, but at least she could move it now. Honestly she didn't trust it to swing a weapon, but thankfully it was just her left arm.

The guard outside her cell paced back and forth, often groaning and moaning. He seemed to handle seasickness about as well as she did. When he wasn't looking, Astrid had checked under her skirt, making sure they hadn't touched her there. And finding a tiny dagger, little bigger than a cheese knife, sewn into the inside of the skirt, just where she left it.

Astrid remembered laughing when her mother suggested the secret weapon. She already had two daggers, in her sleeve and boot, what more could she need? But now she was glad she had the weapon. Now just to find a way out of the cell.

After she glared at him a few times, the guard had put the keys on a hook on the other side of the hallway, well out of her reach.

He had just run into a side room, out of sight, though the sounds of him emptying his stomach still echoed through the hold. Grimacing, she took the opportunity to rub her knife on the drops of poison Alvin had left earlier. The sight of the blue potion, the sounds of the sick guard, the movement of the ship, and the smell of her own vomit and the bucket in the corner made her stomach churn, but she suppressed it. She couldn't let it overwhelm her again.

A minute later the guard was done dealing with his seasickness, but he didn't immediately walk out of the storage room. Instead he was humming curiously, and Astrid moved a little closer to the bars.

"Ooh, nice shield! Light as well! I wonder if Alvin will notice if I take it…" the guard mumbled before appearing with her Gronckle Iron shield, and she saw an opportunity to get the key.

"Is this yours?" he asked, walking to the bars and holding out the shiny shield. Astrid moved her numb hand under her, grabbing the knife in her fist while being careful not to touch the poison, and tried to look tired and worn out.

Honestly that wasn't hard.

"What?" she slurred, squinting her eyes and crawling closer. The guard kneeled a bit to put the shield at her eye level, and she sat on her haunches on the other side.

"Oh… Oh yeah… There are hidden weapons in here. Look, if you press the button on the bottom here, it'll reveal it," she said slowly, trying to appear drugged and barely aware. The guard took his eyes off her, and instead moved his head down to look for the button, while his hands moved around the shield.

For a moment, Astrid hesitated. She only had one shot at this. Could she do it? Attack this person?

But then Hiccup flashed through her mind and her resolve hardened. Jumping up with practiced speed, she reached through the bars. His eyes widened in surprise when she grabbed the man's head with her right hand while stabbing his exposed shoulder with the knife in her tingling left hand. Turning his head around so it faced away from her, she slammed it against the bars before clamping her hand over his mouth.

He struggled. His mouth produced muffled screams and tried to bite her, and his arms reached up to dislodge her, but she stabbed him once more with the poisoned knife. When he tried to jump up, she slammed his head against the bars again.

A minute later he went still. Astrid suddenly realized she was breathing hard. Slowly she released him, terrified he'd scream again.

He just slumped against the bars. He was still breathing, just knocked out, like she had been.

Her hands were shaking, and the knife fell to the floor with a thump. Astrid held her breath as she listened carefully, but no one came to investigate the noise. Her eyes fell on the knife. She could slit his throat. It'd be so easy.

But she looked at the man again. Was he just following orders? He hadn't hurt her. He was seasick, just like she had been. Would Hiccup kill him?

No, he wouldn't. He'd urge her to get out of there. She didn't have much time. Surely they'd check on her soon. Pushing the man to the side, she grabbed the shield through the bars and awkwardly turned it around so it faced the hook with the key.

Aiming was hard like this, especially with her hurt arm. The first shot from the grappling hook missed, hitting the wall next to the key with a bang that made her cringe. Thankfully a big wave hit the ship at the same time, making the hull creak loudly.

Astrid quickly pulled the grappling hook and rope back, reloading the launcher and taking aim again.

This time it hit the key, which fell to the ground with a happy chime. Another shot entangled the key in the hook, and she carefully pulled it back, suppressing a nervous giggle when she touched it.

"Okay, time to get out," she whispered, awkwardly unlocking the door from the inside and pushing the guard a little further away to allow it to open. Checking one more time to see if he was still unconscious, Astrid walked out and strapped her shield to her left arm. It might be numb and tingling, but it could lift and block, and that was all she needed.

Silently she walked into the side room and found her axe and daggers there. Quickly putting the daggers back where they belonged, she grabbed her axe and swung it a few times. Perfect.

"Get ready, Alvin," she whispered, looking around the hold of the ship for a way out. Just the ladder leading up to the deck. Astrid could hear shouts and orders through the planks above her. How many men were there? A dozen? More? But she had to escape now. If they made it to Outcast Island, there'd be dozens if not hundreds of enemies.

As quietly as she could she climbed the ladder and pushed the trapdoor up just a notch, glancing through the small gap.

It was evening, the last rays of the setting sun drawing long shadows from the men at the front of the ship. There were three of them, and when she looked to her sides she spotted another four. All were looking away, focused on their ropes and oars.

Holding her breath she lifted the planks up a tiny bit more so she could look behind her. There, on the rear deck, was that bastard Alvin. He was flanked by a strange man wielding what looked like a large bone. Another man was sitting nearby, rubbing a bandaged and splinted arm. Astrid recognized him with a flash. She had broken that arm. For a second she felt guilt, but then she remembered Hiccup and the only thing left was determination.

As far as she could tell, Astrid only had two ways out: One was to steal a rowboat and sail back to Berk without them noticing. Unlikely to work for more reasons than she could count.

The other was to get to Alvin and  _make him_  bring her back. It wouldn't be easy. There were eight other men, not counting the wounded one. She'd have the element of surprise on them, but still…

No. She couldn't doubt now. She had trained her entire life for this. She had to do this. For Hiccup, and for herself.

Astrid took a deep breath, and was about to jump out when one of the men shouted and pointed at the sky. Astrid quickly dropped the hatch, before lifting it again when she heard footsteps running to the side.

Nearly all of the men were at the port side now, pointing at something she couldn't see and preparing the catapult.

"Take it down!" Alvin shouted, running towards the front of the deck, and Astrid knew she'd never get a better opportunity. She jumped up and ran towards the enormous man, raising her axe. He turned around just as she grabbed him and put her axe to his throat.

"No one move! You move, your boss gets it!" she shouted, mind racing. Alvin chuckled, and she pressed the axe tighter to his throat. The men froze, clearly unsure of what to do. The closest one was only a few feet away, and Astrid staggered back a bit, dragging Alvin with her to the tip of the ship.

"Throw your weapons overboard, and then turn this ship around. We're going back to Berk," she said, trying not to show her fear.

Alvin laughed again, but before she could tell him to shut up, something fell from the sky. The men screamed and scattered, and Astrid nearly dropped her axe when she recognized the black dragon.

"Hiccup? What are you-" she started to ask, but just then Alvin jumped back, throwing her off.

Some fighters say that in the heat of battle everything slows down, that sound becomes muffled and you can see every move your opponent makes.

Astrid realized now that that was yakshit.

Grunting, she barely managed to raise her shield in time to block a slam from Alvin's sword, taking a step back trying to create distance between them so she could swing her axe.

"Astrid!" she could hear Hiccup  _somewhere_ , but in that moment all she could focus on was Alvin, managing to block another strike. She took another step back, but lost her balance when her back hit the railing.

A quick look over her shoulder was her downfall, as she didn't see Alvin slam her hand with the pommel of his blade. With a cry of pain, she dropped the axe.

"Astrid! Let her go!" Hiccup shouted, his footsteps and cane coming closer, but Astrid couldn't see him. A strong arm pushed her around and wrapped around her chest, pushing her back against Alvin's front.

Astrid tried to kick and stomp, but froze when she felt his sword against her throat. Their positions were reversed now. Astrid closed her eyes for a moment, forcing herself to calm.

Not easy when she could feel a trickle of blood run down her neck.

"Stop right there! Hiccup, wasn't it?" Alvin said clearly, and Astrid now saw Hiccup standing next to Toothless in the middle of the deck. The henchmen were scattered around the deck, weapons raised. Hiccup's face was unreadable from this distance, and she wished she could hold his hand. It was such a silly thought in that moment. She had a sword to her throat, and she wanted to hold her boyfriend's hand?

"Who are you? Let Astrid go right now!" Hiccup shouted as he moved towards them, cane rapidly tapping the deck. There was fire in his words, and Astrid found she was holding her breath.

"You're blind, aren't you? Well then, let me paint you a picture of the situation here. I am holding a sword to your conqueror's neck. One more step, and I will slit her throat," Alvin said, and Hiccup froze as if struck, metal foot hovering in mid-air. After a second or two, he slowly put it back down, raising his free hand in a clear conciliatory gesture. Toothless growled, but Hiccup whispered something to calm him down.

"Good. I'm in control here. Remember that. Now, I am Alvin the Treacherous. I am sure your father told you all about me," Alvin said, pushing Astrid's arms between them when she struggled again.

"Uh… No?" Hiccup said. The henchmen grouped up around them, looking at Alvin for instructions.

"Oh come on! You too? Is Stoick so scared of me he doesn't even dare speak my name?!" Alvin shouted and lifted his blade higher. Astrid couldn't help but squeal when another drop of blood spilled on his sword. Hiccup flinched at the sound.

"Yes, t-that's definitely it! I am c-certainly t-terrified, and I'm sure my dad is as well!" he stuttered, raising his hands up further.

"And you should be. Now, I'm gonna be nice here. I could kill you right now, but I'm feeling merciful. You're gonna run back to your daddy and tell him Alvin is coming with an army of dragons, trained by the Dragon Conqueror herself! He can surrender, and his life will be spared," Alvin said, and even from this far away Astrid could see Hiccup frown. She knew his face, even beneath the blindfold, and she could tell he was thinking quickly.

"But… No, I'm the Dragon Conqueror. I trained the Night Fury, and all the other dragons. You want me. I'll take Astrid's place. Just… Just let her go," he said after a short silence.

"No! Hiccup, don't!" Astrid shouted, but Hiccup shook his head.

"I can't let him hurt you!" he simply said, lowering his arms and slumping, looking defeated and small. Astrid wanted to scream, to tell him to stand straight and  _fight_ , dammit! But before she could, Alvin punched her in the gut.

"In Thor's name… You really are the Conqueror, aren't you? And it would shame Stoick to have his son surrender to the enemy. Though it's probably just another disappointment on the end of a long list. How about that Night Fury? Will he follow you? Will you make him obey me?" Alvin asked, and Hiccup nodded rapidly.

"Yeah, Toothless does what I want him to! Just let Astrid go and I'll serve you forever… my lord!" Hiccup said, doing a sort of short bow, and Astrid frowned. Hiccup could be a nervous wreck, but he was never this… subservient.

Alvin grinned. "Fine. She can get the dingy, and if she makes it to Berk she can tell Stoick all about his son's shame. I'm feeling generous, so I'll give you two a moment to say goodbye," he said, before lowering his sword.

Astrid didn't waste any time running away from the horrid man. Hiccup had the same idea, running towards her and grabbing her hand.

"I'm sorry, Astrid. I'm sorry that this happened. But I want you to know I love you. I love you so much, and I'll never forget you!" he rambled, and Astrid was so confused she just wanted to punch him. How could he give up like this?

But then she noticed his thumb moving over the back of her hand, signing. Hiccup kept proclaiming his love and apologizing over and over again, but silently he was telling her a completely different message.

_Stormfly-S-K-Y-Go to-Toothless-Meet up with me-Combat Training_

It was a confusing use of their every day messages, but she quickly understood what he was trying to say.

"You and me, together against the world," she whispered, moving to pull him into a kiss, but before they could connect a henchman pulled her away.

"That's enough. Come here, Hiccup the Useless. I want to see you kneel," Alvin said. Two of the other men threw a net over Toothless, who looked furious but didn't attack.

"Of… Of course, my lord," Hiccup said, awkwardly feeling the deck with his cane as he slowly moved towards Alvin. The big man chuckled, and then laughed as Hiccup kneeled before him. Only Astrid noticed Hiccup moving into a combat stance as he stood up, his thumb moving over the small button on the cane.

"Oh, if only Stoick could see-" Alvin never managed to finish that sentence. Hiccup clicked the button to release the speartip before attacking, jumping to Alvin's side to stab his sword arm. Just like they practiced. The man screamed, making all the sailors turn around in confusion.

Astrid didn't waste any time, tearing her eyes away from Hiccup to grab her dagger from her sleeve and stabbing the henchman pulling her in the gut. Blood spilled over her wrist, but she couldn't stop to think about that.

"Stormfly!" she shouted as she ran towards Toothless, who was trying to claw at the nearest enemy through the net. She quickly cut the rope anchoring the net, and pulled it off the dragon as her Nadder dove from the sky and shot a stream of fire between her and a group of goons. Men screamed in agony.

Astrid was sure the dragons could handle themselves now, and ran for her axe. Just before she reached it, a man ran in her way, sword raised. She didn't stop to think. Her shield went up purely instinctual, bashing the man and making him stagger. A moment later he fell to the ground when she slashed his leg.

A plasma blast flew right past her when she crouched to pick up her axe, making her look up. She froze at the sight. Alvin lay unconscious on the deck, but two other men were advancing on Hiccup. The one Hiccup was blocking was struck by the plasma blast. He screamed loudly as he staggered. Faint guilt rose up in Astrid when she saw him fall over the railing, a smoke trail from his burning clothes and a loud splash the only proof he had just been there.

Had been alive.

But then she saw the other man, the tall second-in-command, raise his strange bone weapon. Hiccup clearly hadn't noticed him, confused by all the sound and chaos.

Suddenly nothing else mattered. Astrid screamed something, she couldn't tell what, and threw her dagger. It struck the man in his lower back, piercing deeply, and Astrid knew the blade had slipped between his ribs.

The bastard fell backwards with a strange muffled gasp, a fountain of blood spurting from the wound. Astrid's eyes moved from the enemy to Hiccup, who had not reacted to what she had just done.

Instead, he recovered from his fight with the other goon, raising his spear and turning around, obviously ready for more.

Astrid forgot about the battle for a moment, entranced by  _her_ Hiccup, standing tall and powerful. The last sun rays bathed him in glowing red, his hair and blindfold shining bright.

He looked like a god. He looked like he could fight a god. He  _had_ fought a god. He had slain the Red Death, he is the Dragon Conqueror, and who were these puny mortals to stand in his way?

But then an axe flew right past her face, so close Astrid could feel the wind rustle her hair, and she remembered they were mortals too.

"Hiccup! We gotta get out of here!" she shouted, grabbing her axe and running towards him. "Get on Toothless! We can't fight them all!"

Toothless seemed to understand her as well, slamming a goon between him and Hiccup. The blind boy quickly found his dragon and wasted no time jumping in the saddle while Astrid fought another man, bashing his head with the broad of her axe until he staggered back.

"Astrid! Hop on, now!" Hiccup called out, and she climbed behind him on Toothless. The dragon took off as soon as she was in position, and then they were flying. Astrid looked back, seeing the unmoving bodies on the deck. The largest one caught her attention, and she couldn't bear to let him get away.

"Stormfly, fetch!" she shouted, pointing at Alvin, and the Nadder grabbed him in his claws, firing spikes at the few remaining Outcasts when they tried to interfere.

"Come on, back to Berk!" Hiccup shouted, and Astrid suddenly realized she was holding onto him with all her might.

* * *

They flew for a few minutes, the screams of wounded men and the creaking of the ship making way for dead silence. The only sounds Hiccup could hear were the flapping wings of Toothless and Stormfly, and Astrid's shuddering breaths against his neck. She had her arms tight around him, still holding her weapons. Her axe was cold against his face.

His mind was blurry, still trying to process all that had happened. He had come so close to losing Astrid.

"Are you okay?" the question made Astrid jump a little, pulling her arms back and flinching when a tip of her axe got caught in his shirt. Hiccup could feel her hands shaking as she sheathed her axe behind her back.

"I'm fine. They didn't hurt me," she said flatly, and he didn't believe her. But before he could ask her again, she grabbed his head and turned it around gently, so he faced her.

"You're okay too, right? If they hurt you, I'll… I'll…" her voice trailed off, trembling with anger, completely different from her denial seconds before. Hiccup opened his mouth to say something, he didn't know what, but she pulled him to her, kissing him hard and aggressively.

"You came for me," she mumbled between open-mouthed kisses, her tongue intertwining with his and then letting go in an unpredictable pattern. Although Hiccup was glad she was there with him, this felt wrong. She had never been this rough with him before, and it scared him. His hands landed on her waist, moving up her arms to her shoulders.

"Stop," he managed to say, pushing her back a bit.

"Why? Don't you want this?" she asked angrily, trying to kiss him again before freezing. Maybe she saw the terrified look on his face.

"I'm sorry. I just… I just had to… to know, to  _feel_ you're alive. That you're with me. That… That I'm not back there," she whispered, dropping her hands to his sides.

"It's okay. I was just a bit overwhelmed. You were  _intense_!" he said, trying not to sound scared. "Also, and I'm really sorry for saying this, but you smell  _awful_ , and it kind of ruined the mood for me," he chuckled. It wasn't a lie, she reeked of shit and sweat and puke and blood and things he didn't even wanted to know.

She snorted, a weird mix of laugh and cry, before pulling back a bit.

"I  _feel_ awful. When we get back, I just want a long hot bath," she said, and Hiccup suspected it wasn't a joke.

"They didn't… touch you, did they?" He hated to ask it, the very thought made him sick, but he had to know she was okay, that those bastards hadn't…

"No. They didn't do that," Astrid said wearily. "I'm just… They knocked me out with some kind of poison, and the cell was filthy, and I just feel dirty."

Sighing, Hiccup put his arms around her. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," he whispered, not feeling very strong anymore. He could feel Astrid back straighten.

"What? Are you kidding me?! You came for me! You fought that bastard, and saved me! Without you I'd never have escaped!" she said heatedly, putting her hands on his shoulders and shaking him softly.

"Seems like you were escaping just fine when I arrived. All I did was offer you a ride home," he said, and she chuckled.

"Sure,  _dragon conqueror_ ," she laughed, before falling solemn again.

"I can't stop thinking about it. While we were fighting I wasn't thinking at all, but now I keep seeing it over and over in my head. All the blood. I stabbed people. I... Do you think I k-killed them?" Astrid slowly asked, her hands holding him almost painfully tight. He shook his head, not sure what to say.

"I don't know," Hiccup eventually said. "There were a lot of them to help their wounded buddies, and maybe they got their wounds bandaged in time. Or you didn't hurt them that badly," he said, knowing they were empty words even as he spoke. Her tone of voice made it clear they had not been simple scratches.

"But Astrid… You did what you had to. To protect yourself. And to protect me, and Stormfly, and Toothless! That's what I love about you. You didn't hesitate fighting off everyone who would harm us. I don't think they'll be coming after us again anytime soon," he said, rubbing her shoulder gently. She slowly nodded.

"I suppose you're right. But it still feels… I don't know. It was never like this in my mother's stories. At least we captured Alvin. I don't think he's dead," she said, her arm releasing him to point somewhere, and Hiccup remembered she told Stormfly to fetch as they escaped.

"Good job, Stormfly!" he called out to the Nadder flying somewhere nearby, and got a happy squawk in reply. But Astrid was still troubled and tense in his arms.

"Look, lots of crazy stuff just happened. Of course you need time to process it. But you've got me, and Stormfly, and your parents, and Camicazi, and we'll all be there to help you, okay? Whatever you need," he said, pulling her into a hug.

"You freaking… dork! Why do you have to be so freaking sweet and perfect and know what to say!" she sniffed, and Hiccup felt tears fall on his shirt.

"It's okay. You're a hero to me, no matter how you feel," he whispered, and she punched his arm lightly.

"You're the hero. You should have seen yourself on that deck after fighting off Alvin. Gods, that should have been on that shield," Astrid said heatedly.

"Haha, maybe we should tell my father that," he laughed, and Astrid tensed a bit.

"I wasn't  _should_ tell your father that. You just fought off Alvin the Treacherous single-handedly, you can tell him you deserve a shield that's  _you_. Strong and tall and incredible, even with your handicaps. You showed me you are that man. Now show Berk," she said, and he pulled out of the hug just as Toothless signaled they were approaching Berk and that Hiccup had to switch the fin to landing mode.

"Hiccup! Are you alright?!" His father's booming voice rang clear through the general murmuring when Toothless landed in the square.

"Dad, people of Berk…" Hiccup started as he jumped off Toothless, legs a little shaky on solid ground. "May I present my prisoner… Alvin the Treacherous!" he said as Stormfly landed, dropping something heavy with a loud thud.

"...How?" was all Stoick managed to say after a stunned silence.

"It's a long story. Now first of all, Gothi has to check out Astrid. I think she's fine, but we should make sure. We need to get Alvin to the prison. And thirdly… I demand a shield that actually portrays the heir of Berk," Hiccup said loudly. Suddenly he felt faint. He was doing this. He couldn't believe he was saying these things.

But then Astrid was there, grabbing his hand and drawing a little heart. It made him stand straight, shoulders back and chin up.

"As you can see, I can fight, I can win, even with my blindfold and my leg. And… And I think the portrait should show that! But it wouldn't be complete either without Toothless on it. I couldn't have done it without Toothless. And Astrid. She completes me, and no portrait of me is complete without them."

"Son…" Stoick started, voice flat. "You're absolutely right! Now that's a chief talking! And the shield shall portray a chief!" he shouted, grabbing Hiccup without warning and lifting him in the air, squeezing tightly.

"Dad! Air!" Hiccup managed to groan, not feeling very chiefly when his father released him. But then Astrid grabbed his hand again, and he felt like the strongest man alive.


End file.
